Avalon (2001)

In the depths of my solitude, a haunting reality unfolds—a cruel dance between loneliness and my unraveling sanity. The deafening silence echoes through the hollow chambers of my heart, leaving me yearning for a connection I can't seem to grasp. The walls close in, suffocating me in a shroud of isolation.

Loneliness, a relentless specter, whispers doubts in my ears, amplifying every insecurity, every flaw. It weaves a tangled web of self-doubt, consuming my thoughts, until I question my very existence. I am adrift in a vast sea of emptiness, desperately grasping for an anchor, a lifeline to pull me back from the brink.

Yet, in the midst of this desolation, I glimpse a flicker of hope. For in the recesses of my mind, I recall the warmth of human connection, the tender touch of understanding. People, with all their complexities, possess the power to mend what loneliness has shattered. They offer solace, acceptance, and the healing balm of companionship.

In this somber dance between darkness and light, I learn that loneliness, while it may drive me to the edge, also unveils the beauty of human connection. It teaches me to cherish the moments of togetherness, to savor the fleeting embrace of a friend's laughter or the gentle reassurance of a loved one's presence. It reminds me of the delicate fragility of our souls and the profound impact we have on one another.

So, I tread the path of solitude, navigating the treacherous terrain of loneliness, for it is through this melancholic journey that I discover the profound significance of human bonds. And as I emerge from the depths of my own isolation, I emerge stronger, with an appreciation for the intricate tapestry of relationships that can rescue us from the brink of madness.

"Amidst the chaos of crashing thunder and electric veins in the sky, I find solace in the raw power of nature's symphony. This mesmerizing storm reminds me of life's untamed beauty, as it captivates both the senses and the soul. Nature's fury ignites awe within, urging us to embrace the stormy moments that shape us. 🌩️✨

I think one of the most draining things about being both chronically and mentally ill is that nothing I do is ever restful. There is nothing I can do that allows my body and mind to recooperate without there being a significant cost later. Sure, some things are more restful than say, doing a high energy task. But I could lay down in bed and listen to my favorite songs. I could sit in the couch and watch a movie. I could go to sleep or take a nap. And it'd still result in more problems that I need more rest for. More pain, more fatigue, more stress piling up. It's just impossible to rest. I'm so tired, and abled people don't understand.

mushroom and spinach soup

Now that pumpkin spice is back in season, and so are colds and flus, let's talk about some of the other common Autumn spices - cinnamon, clove, and ginger.

Cinnamon is known to be antispasmodic as well as antibacterial. Some people do take cinnamon in capsule form as an herbal supplement to help control blood sugar.

Clove is high in antioxidants, may alleviate tooth pain, and also may help support healthy blood sugar levels.

Ginger has gained popularity for it's anti inflammatory properties as of late for arthritis and other ailments. It's also a common anti nausea fighter and stomach settler. Also useful for easing menstrual cramps!

And why not stir all that goodness into a warm cup of tea on a chilly autumn day?

Tumblrs increasing ignorance surrounding veganism is actually driving me insane so just to reiterate:

Vegans are not claiming our lifestyle is 100% cruelty free. No one in todays world can live a 100% cruelty free life. We however, aim for REDUCED cruelty. Yes we know the terrible conditions surrounding various vegetable growing/ harvesting, and it mainly being immigrants who take these jobs, but do you guys not eat these vegetables too? Also no one talks about the same situation with slaughterhouse workers. And the very high percentage of them who develop ptsd as a result of the job.

“Vegans need to accept the natural life/ death cycle”. Yes animals die of natural causes every day. Animals dying for meat in todays system is not natural. “Oh but we always hunted”. Yes we did. And when we did it was nowhere near on the scale of what it is today. This is not us hunting a small number of wild animals. This is a multi billion euro industry that is destroying the environment and that is raising these animals exclusively to be meat. This is cruelty.

And on that note, no farmers cannot love/ be kind to beings they intend to slaughter. That is inherently cruel. Listen I fucking grew up with my grandparents being sheep farmers. I studied agricultural science in school. I know all the practices and how people treat these animals behind closed doors, and it’s nothing like the cute tiktoks they make.

The sheep shearing debacle. Yes some misinformed say they get all cut up when sheared, but that has never been our point, because we know that rarely happens. I mean sheep are sheared in vegan farm sanctuaries. The issue is that they are bred to produce excess wool that needs shearing. Like do you really think that they just evolved to need humans to maintain them?

That goes for milking too. Cows are bred to over produce milk, and only do so for a short period post pregnancy, so farmers need them to be pregnant every year. They can’t get pregnant anymore? Time for slaughter.

And don’t get me started on the goddamn pleather debate. Pleather was not made for vegans! Non vegans use pleather! There are more sustainable faux leather options. Also leather is not the environmental saviour y’all act like it is. As well as that, the price of a leather vs pleather jacket aren’t even comparable. Some ppl want a leather jacket they can afford!

“Vegans are ableist because not everyone can be vegan”. Yes, the second part is true, and any good vegan will tell you so. But most people saying this fully could go vegan. I’m disabled as shit. I am intolerant to so many foods and yet I make it work. And AGAIN, that is not me saying everyone can go vegan. But is it not the duty of people who can to try it?

Similarly: “vegans are all rich elitists, not everyone can go vegan because of the cost”. Listen that may be true in some cases, but the vegan lifestyle is achievable for the average person! It has been shown time and time again. Only the weird specialty items can be overpriced, not the essentials.

And last but not least. No, PETA does not fucking speak for us. Any actual vegan will tell you so. We also cringe at their crazy and just off topic campaigns and tweets. They have a terrible history with founders who have no interest in animal welfare and have shown cruelty themselves to animals.

In conclusion, there are so many resources out there with the facts debunking all the bs flying around. And everyone in this website is usually all for the facts and critical thinking. I’m not trying to convert anyone to veganism, just trying to keep people informed.

cherries, oranges, strawberries, kiwis, blueberries, pineapples ❤️ ❤ ❤️ what's your fav?

Nails by Michiko Matsushita (1999) — Are.na

Disabled people actually usually downplay their symptoms out of fear of making others uncomfortable.

Disabled people actually usually downplay their symptoms out of fear of making others uncomfortable.

Disabled people actually usually downplay their symptoms out of fear of making others uncomfortable.

Disabled people actually usually downplay their symptoms out of fear of making others uncomfortable.

Disabled people actually usually downplay their symptoms out of fear of making others uncomfortable.

Disabled people actually usually downplay their symptoms out of fear of making others uncomfortable.

Remember that next time you ask if something truly is needed, or if it really is that bad.

You are so brave and an inspiration to us all!

Instagram - iampoorlydrawn

We're still here.

One of the hardest hitting things for me about being disabled was the realization that I'm not a participant in life, just a spectator

I don't feel like a person, someone who can have experiences or aspirations. I have a disease where the best way to avoid being tube fed and bed bound is to lay and do virtually nothing. Even doing so much as thinking too much can overexert me

People I went to school with are graduating from college and getting an education, driving, starting families, settling down, doing fun things with people they love, seeing and experiencing things. And I'm spectating

I always loved cooking. I'll start trying to make dinner and my siblings will see that I'm exhausting myself and tell me to sit down. They finish dinner. I spectate

I used to draw and paint but now my hands shake and ache and the quality started declining just when I was getting better at it. But I like seeing other people's art. Spectating it

If I can't do anything that requires a lot of focus, thinking, or much movement, I might find stuff to watch on Youtube or whatever. Cooking, travelling, art, vlogging, doing commentary, playing games. I'm only spectating though. It's not the same

My "best years" were stolen from me and I've been high for over half a decade because it's the only way I can control the pain, eat, or rest. I don't know what it's like to be a person but much of the time I can't do much more than exist in a world that's not made for people like me

if someone close to you is disabled, you have to take that into account when you go places with them. you have to think about accessibility, fatigue, pain, flare ups, etc because its exhausting and hurtful when people who say they love you dont bother putting the effort in to make sure you ACTUALLY have a good time.

🔪abled people are required to reblog this🔪

This is all Ive got for this EB Awareness week....

This is EB According to Me

From the outside looking in, its watching someone you love slowly go through constant pain, agony, aches. Watching a kind, loving, innocent soul deal with shit that noone should have to go through...Dealing with constant infections, blood, open wounds. Dealing with internal problems like swallowing and constipation. Its watching as they get older until their body gets too tired to continue, until their immune system has enough, then they slowly decline, and theres little to nothing you can do about it, hell there is hardly anything doctors can do about it without increasing other risks.. So you have no choice but to sit, pray, hope, that things will change for the better.

From the inside looking out, its dealing with constant pain and agony, dealing with everything i said above, but adding in the mental anguish, of not being good enough, of not being able to play with your friends, get a job, make your own money, be fully independent. Having to depend on others for cooking, cleaning, helping with opening stuff, help getting our supplies ready, help putting supplies on, help getting dressed, help showering/bathing, help taking medication. Help with almost EVERYTHING! Yet you cant bitch or complain even though you just want to do it all yourself, but can't. Its knowing that the window of your ''best days'' are pretty slim compared to a normal life. Its knowing that one day, the pains going to get worse, that youre gonna get more exhausted easily, that eating is going to be more difficult. That Dr's wont be able to perform certain procedures they could on someone thats normal because it will just lead to more shit. Its full of hope and fear. Full of fuckin hope And fears. Hope that youre gonna see age 10...20....30... Hope/fear you can eat your dinner that night without strictures happening in your esophagus, hope/fear you can shit that night without tears and weeks of healing, hope/fear that you can go to that music event without getting trampled or stepped on or pushed. Hope/fear that you can go downtown without being stared at like youre a fucking zombie or something. Hope that you can find someone who can see through the layers of scar tissue and bullshit you deal with to see the real you on the inside. Hope/fear that you'll make friends in school and not end up the social reject because noone wants to come near you or is afraid of hurting you. Hope that everything is going to be okay.. Hope/fear that youre going to be looked after, throughout life, when things get rough... When the person with EB's loved ones/caregivers begin having health issues and can't take care of themselves, then what? If you need internal surgery but cutting anything will leave internal blistering and scar tissue, then what? If you need to eat but your teeth are rotten because you cant get dentures and cant afford $70,000 for dental implants, then what? Hope and fucking fear.

Hoping for the best, constantly fearing the worst..

This is EB according to me.