keep hydrated

Meanwhile in Ash Lake

why you should play dark souls

- male characters can wear dresses - there are walking trees that give you hugs - cut off a dragon tail and use it as a sword - heck use a dragon tooth and wack people with it - imminent beanpole - there’s an armour set with golden tits on it that makes you look like an egg with a face - become a legend - daddy mask - amazing chest ahead - there’s a boss called the ceaseless discharge - dog with sword - owner of dog with sword with sad backstory that makes you cry - the graphics and particle effects give you a boner - anal rodeo - blighttown is the best town - enemies try and hide in pots - you break those pots - mushrooms can punch you - open the chest its a fucking surprise - gravity is your best friend - progressively larger skeletons in each area - BUT BABY SKELETONS - get squished by a demon’s ass. THREE SEPARATE TIMES! - welcome to the house of fun - snake people are secretly the government - 69 TIME HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION JOHN CENA SOLOS A BOSS FIGHT FOR YOU - space jam theme plays while fighting scully and mulder - a giant wet condom with a moustache appears out of the plumbing - you get to fight 4 starfish. AT ONCE. - a giant, on fire, caterpillar - git gud - absolve your sins by talking to the man who sins himself - summon your friends! and let them do all the work for you! - an onion man becomes your best friend - there’s a dragon which looks like a vagina with teeth - that gender neutral armour tho - look at all these npcs with heart wrenching backstories. EVEN THE BOSSES MAKE YOU CRY. - music. the music. - spider woman and her sister make an appearance. she carries a giant flaming sword. - solaire - just play the game for him - play the game for solaire - praise the fucking sun