Go fucking dox yourself

Jungle

Literally can’t believe we recently lived in a world where the 🥺 emoji didn’t exist. Platos cave

I want a boy who worships me like i worship him. I am his everything, just as he is mine. Please. Demand my affections, melt at my touch. I want to love you! Let me love you, please please please

☎️

(youtube ver)

Steve Harvey, walking forward: [audience cheering and clapping] YES!!! KILL!!!!!! [board changes, with a ding, to reveal the word “KILL”]

I'm calling my lawyer.

you can’t touch me, i’m american celebrity clark newman and i’m funded by viewers like you

no like im begging one of yall this fic lives rent free in my mind i just need to have a little small piece of it im begging

this is so random but does anybody remember that one mchanzo fic back in the golden days and it was like an au younger version and like in the beginning they like met at a synthetic beach and then like they ended up hating each other and like the last chapter they wrote there was an airport involved?? im not sure abt that part but they never finished it and then like deleted it pls somebody tell me they know what the hell im talkin abt

this is so random but does anybody remember that one mchanzo fic back in the golden days and it was like an au younger version and like in the beginning they like met at a synthetic beach and then like they ended up hating each other and like the last chapter they wrote there was an airport involved?? im not sure abt that part but they never finished it and then like deleted it pls somebody tell me they know what the hell im talkin abt

Found a dozen eggs in the middle of the woods. Still cold even though it's a hundred degrees outside. Is this a faerie trick?

crazy 2 think tht I'm just a series of posts in someones phone screen

who’s indulging tonight??

how shits gonna be in 3 weeks after everyones been stickin ants in the microwave

imagine being the kind of sick twisted freak whose favorite burner is the top right one

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

girls will say they "know a spot" then take you to the sacrificial altar

Seymour Tapir Please Sniff My Neckk

I wish I could terrorize ancient people with things that are commonplace today