griffin-in-headlights-blog
Griffin In Headlights
23 posts
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Conversation
He comes through when I need him the most. xD
Griffin: Speak the devil's name and he shall appear.
Me: BEETLEJUICE.
Me: BEETLEJUICE.
Me: BEETLEJUICE.
Me: No? Dammit...
Griffin: ITS SHOWTIME.
Me: YES.
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Conversation
Routine Facebook Chatting
Griffin: ... Is this the real life?
Me: Is this just fantasy?
Griffin: Caught in a landslide
Me: No escape from realityyyy.
Griffin: Open your eyeeeees
Me: Look up to the skies and seeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Griffin: I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.
Me: Because I'm easy come, easy go
Griffin: Little high, little low.
Me: Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to meeeee
Griffin: tooooo meeeee.
Me: Mamaaaaaaaa just killed a maaaaan
Griffin: Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead.
Me: Mamaaaaaaaaaaa life had juuuust begun
Griffin: But now I've gone and thrown it all away.
Me: Mamaaaaaaaaaa ooooh oooh oooh oooooh didn't mean to make you cryyy
Griffin:If I'm not back agaaaain this time tomorrrrrrow, carry on. Carry on.
Me: As if nothing really matterrrrs
Griffin: I'm having a good time and this is the best thing we've talked about all day, but my memory gets hazy at this part.
Me: I just wanted to see how long we could make it go because this is SO going on the blog.
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Conversation
Me: I should create another blog "things I would say to my ex"
Me: No wait.
Me: "things I would bitch at my ex"
Griffin: I think the me blog would do better
Griffin: I'm wittier and I don't look like a heroine pin cushion.
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Text
Simply because I'm fucking tired.
Hi. My name is Ali, and I run Griffin In Headlights.
I've known Griffin for quite a few years now, and we've been pretty good friends for about three years now. I easily consider him one of my best friends.
He's also the funniest motherfucker I know.
SO, with that said, I deeply encourage you to follow my endeavors as a bookkeeper for this timeless little cockshit I like to call Griffaroo. :3
I (we?) track the tag #goddammitgriffin.
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Photo
The wild Griffin in his natural habitat.
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Conversation
Griffin: RickRolled twice in ONE HOUR!
Me: The Game.
Griffin: YOU BITCH.
Me:
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Conversation
Griffin: Because then! My parents wouldn't shut the fuck up about you.
Griffin: "Is that your girlfriend?"
Me: LOLOLOL
Griffin: "Does she go to your school?"
Griffin: "How'd you meet her?"
Griffin: I don't want that.
Griffin: I wouldn't bring my ACTUAL girlfriend here.
Me: SO WAIT LOL
Me: Does that make me your fake girlfriend? xD
Griffin: SJAEHFBSEUIFUWEI FJWEF WQDVWEBFPDVIWEUF
Me: TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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Quote
"Science sends you flying to the stars. Religion sends you flying into a building."
Griffin
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Quote
"The future is a terrifying thing. And the past is just full of regret and should haves."
Griffin
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Conversation
Me: Three cheers to another lonely summer with you.
Griffin: It's our bonding time.
Me: I'm glad you agree.
Griffin: Some people go camping, others party. The two of us just sit around and watch Shawshank Redemption and discuss how life has cheated us.
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Quote
We're like the two old muppets that hate everything.
Griffin
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Quote
"It's ten o'clock on a Saturday. The familiar two shuffle in. There's Ali talking right to me, making love to her pot and her Sims."
Griffin
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Conversation
Griffin: It wouldn't keep dropping if you let me USSR my iPod
Griffin: I'm not even gonna bother fixing that
Me: "USSR"
Griffin: That's just gray.
Griffin: Fuck this.
Me: DYING
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Conversation
Griffin: I am the man who swam through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.
Me: No you are not.
Griffin: Yes I am.
Me: No you are not.
Griffin: How am I not?
Me: You are not Andy Dufresne.
Griffin: I am totally Andy Dufresne.
Me: No you are not.
Griffin: You can be Red.
Me: ... Okay.
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Conversation
Griffin: Apple juice break.
Griffin: Apple juice break.
Griffin: Apple juice break.
Griffin: Apple juice break.
Griffin: Apple juice break.
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Conversation
I just need to quote all that I just said.
Griffin: But then that's a you quote.
Me: Yeah but I can't get all that bitchfag, cunt, cockcave, "no you shut up" quoted because there was too much of it.
Griffin: You come from the land of Kingdom Cunt.
Me: You're a cunt.
Griffin: Remember that anatomy thing you were talking about? You're the Queen of Cunts. Queen Cunt. Trying to combine the words. Qunt.
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Conversation
Someone else liked that post too.
Griffin: Your friends just can't enough of me.
Me: They really can't. Brittany called you yummy.
Griffin: I was just going to say that. Maybe I should just believe the general consensus that I'm actually attractive.
Me: YES. FINALLY.
Griffin: Nah, I'm just going to keep on being the sack of shit that I am.
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