Hours later, after he spends most of his night at the station, answering questions, giving his statement, and trying to burn the memory out of his skin with the world’s hottest shower, Tim lays in bed and misses Lucy.

He wishes he could’ve seen her face when she opened the door and saw Kojo. She’d been asking about him, just before their break-up. Had been missing him, he knew, even though they both knew Kojo was probably happier spending all that time with his sister and nephews then he would’ve been in Lucy’s small apartment. He wonders, absently, what she’ll do with the card – if she will put it up on the fridge next to the photo booth pictures of her and Jackson, or maybe stack it on her dresser where she always left his oldest, coziest sweatshirts to slip on in the cold mornings. He knows she won’t throw it away, not with Kojo’s paw print on it, and maybe that was selfish of him to do. He just misses her.

He won’t see her tomorrow. She’d taken the day off, they both had, had made plans to go for a hike at Laurel Canyon, then stop at her favorite brunch place, where she would get adorably tipsy and red and beautiful. It had seemed like such a simple plan for a birthday, when she had suggested it, nothing out of the ordinary for a weekend day off, but then, every day he had spent alone with her had felt like a celebration. Instead, Celina, Angela, and Nyla have promised that they are going to wake her up with breakfast and find a way to make her birthday special, and he will work after all, and he will keep missing her.

He rolls over and almost ends up on top of Kojo. He had trained Kojo to stay on his bed on the floor, but that had all gone out the window once Kojo had had his pick of three different beds to choose from at his sister’s house. But Tim can’t find it in himself to mind, not now, not when his bed feels so vast and empty and cold. Kojo’s soft snores are comforting, and when he tugs him closer, he could swear he gets just a hint of Lucy‘s perfume on his furry head.

He tries to convince himself that he’s doing the right thing. And he misses her.

Tim’s hands falter a little on the steering wheel. It’s a voicemail that sums Lucy up perfectly. Empathetic, a little teasing, hints of awkwardness. From a public bathroom, no less. He swallows, overcome by a swell of sudden affection for her. For Lucy. His old rookie, who somehow wormed his way into his heart and made a home there.

-after the tone by @wisedgirl (submitted by @chenfordspiral)

i shouldn't be laughing at grey saying if you make me pick, i'm picking lucy but like 👏👏👏 because she is that girl

#Kojo "Child Of Divorce"

THE PARENT TRAP (1998) dir. Nancy Meyers

Beneath Your Beautiful: Reckless Behavior

 A wave of guilt washes over Tim as he glances down at his phone — Lucy’s pretty face lights up the screen as the device begins to vibrate. He hesitates.

He’s technically still supposed to be on desk duty today, but he’d just been getting so damn antsy cooped up in his windowless office all morning. Surely a few hours taking low-risk calls on patrol for the afternoon couldn’t actually hurt anything?

It was a short-sighted impulse that he’s now regretting. What if she’s back at the station today looking for him? He hates the idea of not being there for her.

He shakes himself out of his guilt trip — the only certainty right now is that screening her call will guarantee he isn’t there for her in this moment.

He hurriedly swipes across the screen to answer before the call goes to voicemail, “Lucy?”

“Tim.” And there’s something in her voice that immediately puts him on edge.

Read it now on AO3

how does tumblr even work do you just like talk to yourself until people are like "i like this one"

People should not expect and be comfortable with Lucy being a doormat for Tim. People who think Lucy’s empathy should over-ride Tim’s treatment of her during this period are beyond belief to me. She can understand he is acting from a place of trauma, have empathy for him AND not be okay with his shitty treatment of her and forgive him. I will never understand this take. I think the only reason you can rationalize and expect this outcome is it you don’t really give a shit about Lucy as a character and only see her as an extension of how she shows up for Tim. That is such a messed up take for a female dominated fandom. I have seen so many people focus so much in justifying Tim’s actions, post after post, but everyone just expecting Lucy to forgive Tim when he’s ready to take her back because she is empathic and he goes to therapy. That is such a toxic take. What happened in their relationship, which is why the writing and this storyline is so atrocious, is an attachment rupture. You don’t forgive those and you don’t come back from them the way this fandom thinks you do. Like I said the only way this take makes sense is if you care about Tim more than Lucy as a character. Hey, the writers are favoring a white male’s character growth, rather than the Asian woman’s self-respect, so why should I be surprised the fandom does to. Just be honest about it. You don’t care about Chenford, you care about Tim and Lucy as an extension of how she can make him happy, not the character of Lucy.

I love this article and the writer’s perspective!

You don’t have to leave a relationship to improve and ‘fix’ yourself. A breakup isn’t necessary to be able to heal yourself as an individual.

“But isn't proper communication and learning to navigate how to work through things adequately as a couple essential to being a healthy couple?

Why would and should Tim have to step outside of what he's building with Lucy to figure things out, get his head straight, and work through his demons before he can be at his best within their relationship?”

And this

“Personal growth should be able to coexist with healthy love. If anything, the latter guarantees the former.

Through love, a person can flourish and have the backing and support they need to do so. Hell, it can even aid the process.

Instead, we're sold this concept that a great love story and the most romantic ones require all of this angst -- sacrificing love in the name of it.”

Beneath Your Beautiful: Til Death

GIF Credit: @chenfordsbee

Tim jerks awake around 4:30 Wednesday morning, not entirely sure what’s going on, but certain that something isn’t right. His hands are reaching into the empty space beside him despite his eyes having already confirmed that Lucy isn’t there.

He’s always been a light sleeper; it’s only with Lucy he’s ever slept deeply enough to not be woken by the smallest of disruptions during the night.

Read it on AO3 now…

Unpopular Opinion

Going to therapy because he feels remorseful enough about the damage he did to someone he loves as a result of his unwillingness (or inability) to deal with his past trauma is the absolute bare minimum we should expect from Tim, (and tbh we haven’t even gotten that yet), and he shouldn’t have had to hurt Lucy again to come to the realization that maybe he does need therapy.

So while I’m proud of Tim for taking the first step, and I literally could not empathize more with the reasons for Tim’s behavior and decisions, none of that excuses or justifies how he treated (and continues to treat) Lucy.

This is the first step, and I’m on board with this taking some time in canon, but the fact that it took so much to get him to even consider it’s something he might need after everything that happened highlights how far he still has to go.

Tim is doing what he needs to do FOR HIMSELF at this point, and that’s great because he should be and he deserves it.

But so far he hasn’t done a thing (read: taken any accountability) that makes me want to root for them to get back together. It shouldn’t even be a possibility in either of their heads at this point IMO.

ETA: This obvi prob comes off anti-Tim, but this is more in response to fandom reaction than Tim in canon; I get and genuinely appreciate the takes explaining Tim’s POV and that he just hasn’t been in a place to actually process what he’s done and how his actions have impacted Lucy, and my heart could not ache harder for what it’s going to be like for him to confront that when he actually gets there 😭💔

“Tim,” Lucy mumbles into his neck, “I don’t want to hurt you.” How does he tell her that it doesn’t matter what she does next, that every outcome leaves him wrecked? That he’s been shuffling through a stacked deck of outcomes for them and nothing looks like it will work out? That even when he spent most of the last year emotionally destroyed, just the fact that she was beside him in his shop was enough to stop the ache? That he has missed her every day since he cut her loose, and that he misses her right now when she’s straddling him on her bed? That both his past pain and the anticipatory grief that she might bring him overwhelms him, knocks him clean off his feet, and manages to steal his breath. “Then you make sure you come back.” It’s not enough, but he can’t pour his fear into her before she leaves, that would be an unkindness to the both of them. Cupping the back of his head, she holds his gaze, her brown eyes blazing with an intensity that he understands, “then I guess I’m promising you that I’ll come back.”

-an ever-fixed mark by @farfarawaygirl (submitted by @theawkwardanglophile)

Nothing to Lose (Without You)

“You broke her heart, Tim. The only thing she actually needed you to protect — the only thing you were supposed to protect, and you shattered it."

OR

Angela has some things to say to Tim.

***

Super random bit of angst (no happy ending) based on scenes and dialogue floating in my head... mostly Angela attempting to talk sense into Tim.

Read the rest on AO3.

i’m just saying aragorn son of arathorn oh im sorry STRIDER (one of them rangers what his right name is i never heard etc etc) didn’t need to be that sexy at the prancing pony. like ostensibly he’s trying to lay low but even dipshit little [relatively] eighteen y/o frodo is like hey what’s the deal with that extremely ostentatiously sexy man in the corner

Who knew I'd be so easy to replace? No one could replace you.

The Rookie 6.07 | Crushed