godslush
♱ Sojourner in a Hostile World ♱
I'm a 37 year old Ace Christian and I complain a lot. I occasionally do #art. See my Listography for more info on what to expect.Not in a good place mentally and emotionally right now. Don't expect anything meaningful out of me until I sort my life out. Don't try to give me hope if you aren't capable of following through. I barely have enough energy to handle the disappointment I have in myself; I definitely don't have the energy to endure anyone thinking they're doing me a favor by lying to me.
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back from the dead baby
rules under cut
Day 1 - Day 10 in order is Terra, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Pluto, Neptune, then Sunstar.
Day 11 (Optional) - RKNS or Tango or any SRN OC you'd like to show off!
Additional rules:
Rendered pieces are not necessary! Neither is full participation, if you want to participate for one day only, that's fine!
If you can't make it to the first week, then you can participate in the rest of the month instead!
SFW pieces only, tag your pieces if they contain any graphic material.
Lastly, have fun! If there is any confusion, then feel free to dm me!
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I'm very bored and need motion, and posting old art on Bluesky only gets me so far.
While shuffling through even older art, I decided I'd redraw a 20-year-old nonsense design that has always kinda lived rent-free in my head despite losing its original purpose to changes in the narrative it was tied to.
While it was originally an alt-form for a half-Bydo character from an old R-Type story, that character's frame of reference shifted to incorporating the 'Xelf' from R-Type FINAL when that came out, leaving this design to pass from use, but not from memory.
Largely attempted to keep as many of the weird, incongruous details intact; only modifying their application to make the design 'work' a little better. Some simpler parts have had detail added to bring them up to match the rest
I still have no idea what I could use it for, but I just kinda like how it looks so I wanted to redraw it. Probably safe, honestly, to not get too attached to it. Wouldn't want to be disappointed if it doesn't go anywhere a second time.
Here's the original image:
#art#cyborg#mecha#body horror#i guess i'll tag it#bydo#r-type#since it's not for that anymore but was way back when
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Comic "Update" (Rehash):
Occasionally, posts will remind me about my comic and that I said I'd continue it, and I just want to let it be known that I haven't forgotten. My life is just not in a place where I can feasibly work on it.
I know this is a broken record to most people, but I'm just bringing it back to the top in case people haven't seen older posts regarding it.
When I wrote it originally, I was in a very good place. I had a job I loved, which both supported my financial and emotional needs as a creator, giving me the time and energy to do things I enjoyed and create things I enjoyed without having to rely on external feedback and support.
Since then, I lost that job, under circumstances that left me bitter (due to the directed lack of communication leading me to believe it closed for shady reasons). It required me to go back to relying on an unfulfilling, abusive corporate job for financial stability, which leaves me an empty shell, unable to create and sustain my own energy for creative endeavors... and causing that energy to leak out catastrophically if the things I do find the energy to work on don't receive a minimum return of interest to match what I'd spent to create it.
Since the comic continuation would be a huge undertaking, I cannot risk it not doing well, especially when it feels like nothing I do right now is capable of doing well enough to keep me out of the critical zone of my energy deficit problems.
I still have everything I planned to work on. I still occasionally tool with the development files behind the scenes. I still really want to share this story with people, especially those who enjoyed the original run. I just... can't. Not right now.
The best I can do right now is pray I can find a better job, so I can finally start living again.
Until then, the project will continue to be on hold.
I'm sorry.
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Note: I am officially more active on Bluesky. Even when I was 'taking a break from the internet' I was still dropping stuff down there as sort of a vent channel for weird, offhand thoughts.
This is a double-edged sword:
Since barely anyone follows me, and those who do don't really pay much attention to it, you're more likely to see me violently life-complaining there (sometimes I delete it in a couple days, sometimes I don't)
I occasionally post old to ancient art so you sometimes get to see bizarre gems like this along the tracks of my train of thought.
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i was asleep and in uni to give you an evil boop....know i am also giving you a turbular evil boop back too sniffles
bring it, nurd
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For the sake of transparency, let it be known that when you get booped by me, you are not being booped by a cat.
#self reblog#not relevant anymore but i THINK it got taken out of weirdly-content-filtered purgatory by now
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For the sake of transparency, let it be known that when you get booped by me, you are not being booped by a cat.
#art#sorta#boop#boop o meter#april fools day#april fools day 2024#congrats tumblr you made me draw something during a slump#sorry for the rereupload something seems to have gone wrong with the first one i think the site's breaking under the strain of the boops
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The sad state of super booping my 10 side-blogs because they don't get any activity otherwise lmao
#granted some are hidden and some are intentionally dead#but i still put a lot of effort into some of them only for their contents to be relegated worthless by the passage of time#and people wonder why i lose the will to create... sigh.
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I do think it's telling that Tumblr would force people to manually opt in to the boop campaign, preventing users from giving boops - IE reinforcing some positivity through a cute gesture - to people who might not be paying attention to the site for this specific, short interval of time...
...while at the same time auto-opting-in AI scraping and requiring people to manually opt out instead, thus trying to take advantage of people who've left and aren't paying attention to the site.
As cute as the boops are, it really does illustrate that the people running this site have their priorities for user enjoyment versus their own perceived profitability completely backwards.
#i'm really not a fan of what tumblr's become vs. what it was like before i left for twitter#and now that twitter's tanked and tumblr's only gotten worse it's really hard to muster the energy to be online#especially since sites like bluesky are so dead but at least it's dead without the looming threat of corporate malarkey#there are some people I really want to spam-boop!!!! so if they show up later they'll just see a wall of boops!!#but i can't right now because they're not terminally on this site which is perfectly valid and reasonable
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I can see that lmao
ah, that's a thing, I guess
cute
edit: oh my god @afniel
#i'm not trying to be a downer honest#i think it's funny and cute really i do#i'm just tired and it's bleeding into my online interactivity/lack thereof
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ah, that's a thing, I guess
cute
edit: oh my god @afniel
#i'm just gonna go down the activity list and boop anyone that's interacted recently and also opted in#it's still early so not a lot of people have opted in so i'll probably come back later and go through again#i saw it and opted in when the global was still in double digits so i basically caught it right as it went live#hence figuring it just hasn't had a chance to catch on that well
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I haven't had to use filters yet, but now that I'm trying to use the built-in system (because XKit and addons won't work on mobile), I really wish the filters would just... idk, remove the posts entirely and not leave behind a wall of "This post contains filtered content" blanks to make me feel actively excluded for Not Liking Something that other people can't stop talking about.
It also doesn't help that people don't tag all their content... moreover when reblog-heavy users don't tag their reblogs... and I'm too tired to go around asking people to tag things only for Tumblr to shame me for not liking what everyone else in my orbit likes, so I might just go back to my habit of unfollowing reblog-heavy blogs. Sorry.
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Work continues to, sadly, be my only real respite from feeling terrible most of the time, by being a distraction from my overwhelming feelings of complete failure.
At least my coworkers are okay with me being a bit of a weirdo.
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RE: Last reblog (preachy under cut; I was originally going to put this all in tags on the original post, but didn't want it to clog up the Note view)
I'm on team 'everyone is a sinner, including myself, and Jesus died for everyone who is willing to accept His sacrifice.'
Being a jerk in Jesus' name does more damage than good, and takes the Lord's name in vain.
So is being a gatekeeper who says 'that's not my lifestyle, therefore I have deemed it unforgivable and deserving of abuse and violent exclusion and needs to be shed before accepting Jesus, whereas my own sins are acceptable and forgiven~'
I trust Jesus will have some choice words for people who wave signs and spout bile to drive people they personally disagree with away from His love. It's the only thing that keeps me on the path I'm on. My Walk is my own, and I know I don't set the best example in terms of my quality of life reflecting blessings expected from a loving Lord, but as far as I am concerned, that is my own fault.
In the mean time, I simply aim to not spread hate and abuse and cruel prejudice in the Lord's name.
And... if hate and abuse and cruel prejudice do turn out to be the 'truth,' and if the people preaching it are right and have any power in Heaven...
...well, quite frankly, I'd rather go to Hell than spend an eternity with insufferable, hypocritical gasbags.
(old gif of @voodooval, not me, just Mood)
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since the old version of this post was flagged for 'adult content'...
reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!
along with that, reblog if your account is a trans non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the trans enby spectrum!
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