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glowofpurple · 11 months

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Everyone keeps pointing out that Kepler loses a hand which is a good point. He becomes the pig as he is no longer seen as useful enough to keep around. But I'm talking about Kelper basically threatening Jacobi right in front of Eiffel (and probably several times before that). He's saying 'no matter how good you are you can be used as soulless meat'. And if Jacobi lost his arm becuase of an explosion he made he not only made himself worse at the thing he's the best at (assume his prosthetic is not as easy to use as an organic hand) but he was also one limb down before he even joined GF.

The point of the 3-legged-pig story is that it may be able to do everything and be the most useful pig you've ever seen, but it is still a pig and will be eaten. Jacobi is still a human. Kepler is saying 'you are not special, GF will still see you are just as disposable as everyone else, and so will I'

It is poetic the this is Kepler's fate more then it is Jacobi's though.

Kepler's three legged pig story in episode 34 is GUT RENCHING if you picture Jacobi with a prosthetic arm.

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glowofpurple · 1 year

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Not to say he deserved it or anything but,,, Hilbert didn't get to eat anymore Peacon Pie before he died. Which just seems mean.

#wolf 359 #alexander hilbert #w359

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glowofpurple · 1 year

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>:)

Happy Sammiversary!!

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glowofpurple · 1 year

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Happy Sammiversary!!

#king falls am #sammy stevens #sammiversary

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glowofpurple · 1 year

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once again, wonderful art of eiffel and hera from @quibbs!! 💫

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glowofpurple · 1 year

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for the characters + numbers thing, how about a jacobi version of the kepler post as well!

The Kepler Version

Their physical weak spots

Bad knee. Nerve pain in his right arm. He's short, which isn't a weak spot but sometimes looks like one.

Their emotional/moral weak spots

Well, I mean, he has the moral fiber of a piece of boiled spaghetti. Like, it's there, but it's not what you'd call strong. He objects to what he sees as unnecessary murder; he objects to genocide, he can wrap his mind around a certain number of murders being justified. Emotionally his weak spots are Alana Maxwell, Warren Kepler, and various other people he loves (it's more than two.)

Scars or painful spots

The aforementioned bad knee and nerve-pained arm. He's got scars from various explosives-gone-wrong up and down his body, but most of those are his own fault. The scars that aren't hazards of his own expertise: A faded burn on the skin of his thumb and the palm of his right hand, from when he was a kid and picked up a baking sheet directly out of the oven. A ragged, ugly scar on his inner thigh, where a switchblade went in and wriggled around a bit before it came out. Another work-related hazard, but nothing to do with bombs. A little dip in his left shin, courtesy of that time he thought he could ride a motorbike. And he could! Briefly. Faded acne scars on his jaw. Thanks, high school.

Best places to kiss on their body

His mouth. He has the kind of mouth people in authority have sometimes described as "insolent." People with different kinds of authority have also used the phrase "blowjob lips." The delicate skin where his jaw meets his ear. Just under the sharp dips of his hipbones, where the skin softens. Inside his knees.

Guilty pleasures

He seems like a secret Taylor Swift fan.

Their vices (physical or emotional)

Emotional masochism. Also regular masochism, although that's hardly the vice he's worried about. Too good at flicking the dial on his moral compass down. He's not an alcoholic, but he won't say booze isn't a bit of a crutch sometimes. He's also not a cokehead, but coke is really nice, okay?

Their tickle spots

Feet, thighs, underside of his chin. He's a high pitched giggler and hates it.

Bad memories/experiences

Let's see. There's getting a bunch of people killed and then getting his whole career flushed down the drain as a result. That was a low point. There's the first time he realized he'd do anything Major Kepler asked him to do—literally anything, zero limits, jump off a cliff, pull a gun on the pope, install a cyanide capsule behind his back molar. It didn't feel like a low point at the time, but you know what they say about hindsight. There's the night he heard himself beg for his life and then die screaming. The following couple of months where he didn't know whether he was human or an alien copy of himself weren't a picnic, either. There's crying all over Reneé Minkowski. There's waking up out of mind controlled puppethood and realizing he owes his sanity to Eiffel and Hera and Lovelace and not, you know, the man he gave his life and moral compass and entire sense of personal fucking agency to. Pouring his fucking heart out and then watching Kepler walk away from him, proof that nothing Jacobi said or did or was to him ever mattered. There's the funeral, Eiffel's pathetic insistence that he stand next to the people responsible for Alana's death while Alana lay in a bag on the floor. There's Alana laughing at the woman holding a gun to her head, Alana saying "How stupid are you?" and then Jacobi hitting the button on the napalm bomb, and then an instant later, the gunshot. Like he pulled the trigger himself.

Humiliating memories

The cheese thing. Ten years of rejection, he guesses. For a sane person, anyway. Having an orgasm while his boss who he was in unrequited love with and his favorite coworker listened in? Probably. Crying into Minkowski's shoulder, again. The fucking duck video.

Fears/phobias

DON'T PLAY THE GODDAMN VIDEO AGAIN, IT'S—ANATIDAEPHOBIA IS A TOTALLY NORMAL, AND BY THE WAY, COMMON THING—

Bad or petty habits

How much time you got?

Grudges and vendettas

No, seriously, how much time?

What gets them flustered

The duck thing. The cheese thing. The incident with the bunnies. The guy on the Russian job. Kepler's forearms, when he rolls the sleeves up to the elbows and they're just right there, dark hair and muscle and traced in thick veins. He's kind of an easily flustered guy, except for when he's under pressure.

Ingrained habits/forces of habit

A hundred times since the mutiny he's turned his head to share a look with Alana, and a hundred times it hits him like the fact of her death is totally new.

What it takes to make them cry

About thirty lashes and some nipple clamps, in his experience.

Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’

Most people don't know about all the people he's killed. That probably counts.

Regrets

Uh, his whole life? Joining SI5? Letting the hot older guy in the bar buy him an expensive drink? Not telling Alana to run for the hills? Going to space? Trusting Warren Kepler? Not taking Minkowski seriously? Not sucking Kepler's dick when he had the chance?

Things they’ll never admit

Kepler's death hurts just as much as Alana's did. He's as angry at Kepler for his death as for her death.

People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them

Hilbert's death had some undesired consequences.

What-ifs/Alternate Timelines -"He passed the test," Alana says, her eyes wide and panicked. "Daniel, please, please let me open the door," and Lovelace hasn't sabotaged anything, so they open the door. -Kepler tells them what to expect when they go up to space, and nobody dies. -He doesn't set off the charges, and Minkowski doesn't pull the trigger, and nobody dies. -He snaps out of Pryce's mind control, and Kepler's the one in the room with him, a syringe in one hand and an almost panicked look on his face. -He doesn't back down, and Minkowski gives up, and she shoots Kepler in the head. -He goes back for Kepler, and he isn't dead, just bleeding, and he takes him onto the ship and patches him up and Kepler reveals that he changed his mind, that he believed Jacobi all along, that he's sorry, that Jacobi isn't a fucking idiot for giving a shit about whether his heart keeps on beating.

People who’ve influenced them greatly His dad. Warren Kepler. Alana Maxwell. Renée Minkowski. Douglas Eiffel.

Turning points in their life The first explosion. The first bad explosion. Kepler grinning at him and quoting King Lear. Fireworks on a stakeout. Alana's first day of work. Alana's last day of work. Snapping out of Pryce's mind control and seeing Eiffel in front of him. "I don't know how to fix this," Minkowski said, red-eyed and trembling, a gun in her hand, the woman who killed his best friend. "I don’t know if it’s a thing we even can fix. But if we keep pretending it’s out of our hands, we will end up killing each other, and everyone else. And that won’t help."

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glowofpurple · 1 year

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Kepler's three legged pig story in episode 34 is GUT RENCHING if you picture Jacobi with a prosthetic arm.

#warren kepler #daniel jacobi #w359 #wolf 359

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glowofpurple · 1 year

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i think it's very odd that really basic "some people have different cultures and we should respect differences" is lost on so many people online, particularly when we're talking about the most inoffensive, innocuous stuff imaginable. i keep seeing fights online about whether americans are being creepy and invasive for smiling at strangers regularly or whether eastern europeans are being rude and standoffish for not smiling at strangers. neither is true!!!!! people's cultures are just different that's literally it!!! people have different norms and cultures and expectations and that's completely fine! what are you going on about?????

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glowofpurple · 1 year

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he’s a 10 but he has an inexplicable, nearly pathological fear of ducks.

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glowofpurple · 1 year

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I may be ace, but when I'm playing my bass the ghost of a true slut possesses me.

A band needs a slut on bass to have any modicum of success

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glowofpurple · 1 year

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