Kookmin Headcanon #6

Jungkook isn't ever sure if it's a blessing or a burden that he can tell down to the second when Jimin is about to spiral in to self-loathing. 

He recognizes the signs with ease, and it's also with alarming calmness that he pulls Jimin back from that brink every time -- as if it's almost just another daily responsibility, like brushing his teeth or doing laundry. He always frames it in a way that makes Jimin think it was his idea, it was his strength and resolve that brought himself back down to earth, and Jungkook is content with that. If that helps Jimin live another day relatively worry free in the already busy world they live, what's the point in hogging all the glory? It's for Jimin, after all. He can forgo the praise every now and then. 

For Jimin. But tensions were high -- promotions on the horizon and the looming anxiety of constantly being in the spotlight non-stop for a few weeks.  It was an unspoken rule that everyone did everything within their power to look their best. It wasn't an odd sight to see Namjoon walking around in a face mask the minimum three times a week, something he never really committed to doing any other time of the year. Jin agonizingly washed his sheets every night to keep his skin the clearest possible (where did he get the time?). Jungkook himself put in extra hours at the gym out of habit. He didn't even actively think about doing it anymore before a comeback, he was on autopilot. Everyone seemed to have a dedicated, yet realistic, game plan to prepare for the cameras in the coming months. Except, of course, Jimin. There were the aspects of Jimin's obsessive personality that he could prepare for after years of practice. They were the physical ones -- the eating habits (or lack thereof), the late hours practicing until his feet were blistered -- Jungkook had those down pat. He was nothing if not a professional at being annoyingly persistent, in a sneaky way. At meals, Jungkook watches Jimin push food around his plate out of the corner of his eye, talking excitedly and animatedly about something topical so no one would suspect anything else was afoot. In this way, Jimin is a master manipulator, and far too clever for his own good. But Jungkook is too -- Jimin falls victim to pettiness far too easily, and all it takes is Jungkook nonchalantly picking the best bits from Jimin's plate every couple minutes for Jimin to pull it out of his reach and tell him to knock it off. "You're not eating it anyways," Jungkook points out, feigning innocence as he makes another grab for something delicious looking. "Just because I don't inhale my food like air like you do doesn't mean I'm not getting to it," would come the biting reply. And ten minutes later the plate is clean, and Jungkook can deal with Jimin's sour mood knowing he's accomplished something. The long hours of practice requires more persistence and more of a back bone. The others members would drop out of the practice room one by one, turning in for the night and saying they'd put in more hours tomorrow. Jungkook, exhausted after half of them had already left, envies them -- but Jimin isn't even close to calling it a night, and if Jungkook didn't stay, he's positive they'd be peeling Jimin off the floor of the practice room the next morning, asleep and feet in a terrible state. So, he stays. Every angrily restarted routine, every minor tantrum when something isn't just right. He doesn't say anything to quell Jimin's obvious irritation. Years of experience has told him that there isn't anything that he can say that Jimin will take deeper than face value anyways, so he bides his time. He practices alongside with him even through his exhaustion, but doesn't scold Jimin about the late hour. If it's important to Jimin, he wants him to know it's important to him too. When the time comes and Jungkook pretends to badly roll his ankle during a particular step, he is always half-expecting Jimin to get irritated with him and tell him to go home if he's going to be an obvious hindrance. But of course he doesn't. Jimin hears Jungkook's over-exaggerated hiss of pain and he whips his head around, the music fading in to the background around his instinctual worry. "What happened?" He asks quickly, a hand on Jungkook's lower back, every ounce of irritation in his demeanor evaporated. "Did you hurt your foot?" "It's nothing, just stepped on it weird." Jungkook has never considered himself an award-worthy actor, but even he can't deny that when he puts weight on his now "bum" foot and his barely-there yet telling grimace gets Jimin's eyes wide with concern, he's got at least a little bit of natural born talent somewhere in him. "You need to go home and rest," Jimin says. Jungkook just shakes his head. "I'll stay, I want to practice hard for the comeback, too." "You can't practice through the pain, that's not healthy." Jungkook shakes his head once, firmly. "If you can, then I can too." Jimin goes silent, and it's in that moment of clear realization on his face that Jungkook knows he's won. When they're in the car on the way back to the dorms not ten minutes later, Jungkook is on beside himself with internal self-congratulations. Half elated because his clever plan worked perfectly for the third time that week, and half on cloud nine as Jimin absentmindedly rubs and works his very much normal and uninjured ankle. But those were the physical ones. They were easy. Jungkook excelled in the realm of the physical, he was a very tangible kind of guy. Disputes, love... it all could be settled with physicality, touch, contact; it's how it always had been for him. Unfortunately, Jimin existed seemingly entirely within the realm of the emotional, which might as well have been on top of Mount Everest during a blizzard as far as Jungkook was concerned. His psyche was guarded heavily, and penetrating it was something Jungkook had yet to accomplish. He couldn't fight off the feelings of inadequacy that plagued Jimin, couldn't drag them out back and intimidate them in to leaving Jimin alone. The way Jungkook had always dealt with -- or not dealt with -- emotions wasn't how Jimin processed his own, and it bothered Jungkook that he couldn't make anything any better. What use was he to Jimin if he couldn't even make him feel good enough? And it was times like these that were the worst. Here, in this green room after a performance. Jimin in his costume, each piece of it designer and exceedingly expensive. In one hand, the glittering trophy from that day's win. In the other, his phone with which he had just tweeted a picture of himself, trophy held close to his shining smile, to their fans all over the world, thanking them for making it all possible. Not a hair out of place, his makeup accentuating his best features, his pristine and perfect milky skin. And yet... Everyone around them was exhausted, either sleeping in whatever corner they could claim or snacking and chatting away tiredly. The sea of people made the two of them fade in to obscurity, hard to be noticed. But Jungkook was watching Jimin, and Jimin was watching himself. Jimin stood in front of one of the long mirrors in the green room, the day's spoils grasped tightly in his hands, but a darkness had crossed him. His stare seemed distant and cold as he analyzed himself in his reflection, unblinking, a direct juxtaposition to the buzz of tired excitement around him. His gaze seemed to judge silently, himself on trial for every small imperfection and mistake he could find. He was the judge, the jury, and the giddy executioner. The sight would have been alarming and uncomfortable to anyone who noticed it -- but Jimin had somehow convinced himself that in a crowd of people he faded in to the background every time. Even with his fiery neon hair, his bright skin and listless, hooded eyes, his full features and rhythmic way of moving, he thought there was nothing that set him apart from everyone else, nothing memorable about him at all. Jimin believed if he was alone in a room, it was empty. Jungkook watched him for what felt like too many minutes, disbelief overcoming him alongside waves of agitation. How could no one else see what he was seeing? He could chalk it up to exhaustion, to ingrained casualness that made everyone numb to the barely noticeable signs of something not being right with the others. But this was the Jimin that Jungkook couldn't decipher. The one who had almost everything and still felt as though it was going to be yanked away from him as soon as the world who adored him now had grown tired of him. The one who thought he didn't deserve any attention until he had become pretty, not realizing that someone had been attached to his side for years before the awards, the recognition, the brand. The one who seemed to find fault in every aspect of himself where Jungkook only found something new to study and memorize. The one who thought that in a crowd of adoring fans, no one was ever looking solely at him, when in reality it was never anyone in the crowd who couldn't peel his gaze away. What was Jimin still yearning for? And how could Jungkook make sure he got it in abundance? Jungkook could agonize over the why's and how's, like he always did around promotions when this behavior was at its peak. He could obsess over how to pull Jimin out of this spiral and continue to never actually do anything about it. He may not be able to connect with Jimin on his level, may not ever understand the convoluted and complex inner workings of Jimin's self-loathing, but Jungkook could still fix things the best way he knew how, the one way he always excelled at anything he put his mind to. Someone on the opposite side of the green room called Jimin's name, jolting him out of his trance. He blinked once, twice, and by the time he had done a 180 and was floating towards the assistant calling him to change, his facade had changed to one of unbothered content, one that would seem genuine to anyone except those who bothered to look further. As he passed Jungkook their eyes met for a brief fleeting split-second, and he could tell that Jimin knew he had been caught, but Jimin continued on with an astonishingly good poker face. Jungkook lowered his eyes back to his phone, his resolve steeled. If Jungkook existed solely within the realm of the physical, then he'd settle this the way he'd resolved every conflict in his life until this point: Physically. And with no holds barred. *** "Hobi-hyung, the food is getting cold. Where is Jimin-hyung?" Hoseok looked up from his plate and nodded his head in the direction of the room he shared with Jimin without hesitation. "Same place he's been all night." "He hasn't come out yet? At all?" "Your guess is as good as mine." "I went in there earlier," Taehyung said from the couch, his plate resting precariously on one lifted knee. "He wouldn't talk to me. It was like trying to communicate with a brick wall." "You all should just leave him alone," Yoongi offered quietly from the kitchen table where he sat alone. "He will talk when he's ready, you know how he is when he gets upset." Jungkook wasn't convinced. He wiped his chin with the back of his hand as he stared at the closed door to Hoseok and Jimin's room. "Jungkook-ah, if you go in there and try to make him talk when he doesn't want to, he's only going to withdraw more," Namjoon continued in Yoongi's place. There was a long pause, the five of them watching Jungkook watching the door, all with the same thick tension. "You can't fix everyone," Jin added, quiet. "I don't need to fix everyone." "You know exactly what I meant," Jin replied irritably, glaring holes in to the back of Jungkook's head. "There's literally no need to be so dramatic." "He doesn't want to talk," Namjoon said from beside him as he swallowed a mouthful of food. "I'm begging you, Jungkook-ah, for the sake of his mental well-being and your own, don't force him to." Jungkook should listen to his leader, he knew that, but that still didn't really stop him from already being on his feet and stalking towards the door, picking up Jimin's untouched plate along the way, before Namjoon even finished his sentence. "Or, you know, do," he could hear the exasperated voice behind him. "Everything I say is only a suggestion at best anyways." Jungkook stood at the door for only a few milliseconds before turning the handle and letting himself in. He didn't bother knocking to announce himself; what was the point if wasn't going to get a response anyways? Jungkook always lived by one motto: do first, ask permission second. Jimin was curled up against the wall on his bed, surrounded by waves of blankets that didn't cover any inch of him, leaving him exposed to the cold temperature Jin insisted on keeping the dorm's thermostat at. He didn't look up at Jungkook when he entered, didn't say anything or acknowledge his presence at all, but Jungkook could tell he was awake. And if he was awake, he was listening. "Hyung?" No answer. "I brought you food. It's cold, but you should eat something." Again no answer, but Jungkook wasn't really looking for one anyway. He gingerly placed the plate on the nightstand by Jimin's bed, next to the journal Jungkook had given him for his birthday the year before, written in twice before it was forgotten. He was surprised Jimin still insisted on keeping it close even though he never used it. The bed dipped as Jungkook sunk down on it, close enough that his thigh brushed Jimin's lower back. Jimin still didn't move. "Hyung, don't you want to talk about it?" "Go away." "No one is mad at you, you know." "Go away." "You're allowed to have off days--" "Jungkook!" Jimin whipped his head around and his small, balled fist landed directly on Jungkook's chest, giving him a firm shove. "I said leave!" Jimin might as well have been blowing smoke on Jungkook for as much effectiveness as his shoved were. When Jungkook didn't even budge, it angered Jimin further, and soon both his hands were pushing with all their muster against Jungkook's solid chest. As his desperation grew in to franticness in trying to get the other to move, Jungkook just stared down at him, silent. He didn't put up a fight, but he also didn't back down. Eventually, as was always the case, Jimin tired himself in to a stupor soon enough, and he collapsed face first in to his pillow with an annoyed huff. His fingers were still fisted in Jungkook's shirt and he didn't make any attempt to remove them. Jungkook knew he needed to let Jimin say his piece first, it was the only way he could coax Jimin out of his heavily-guarded shell. He didn't make a move to touch him, he simply stayed silent and still, watching Jimin back rise with his exhausted breaths. Finally, he spoke. His voice muffled from the pillow smothering him. "I'm humiliated." "For being sick?" He hugged his pillow around his head tighter. "During practice! I fainted in the middle of practice and even though I was fine, I was still sent home! Don't you know how embarrassing it is to be sent home like a child?" He seemed to sink further in to the mattress. "I let you guys down." "You didn't let anyone down." Jimin replied with something biting, but it was far too muffled by the pillow to make out, and Jungkook didn't want to ask for a repeat. "You didn't let me down, hyung," he whispered after a long moment. He expected Jimin to continue to prolong the silence between them, ignore him completely, start throwing fists at him in vain again -- but Jimin just turned a small potion of his face away from the pillow he was still buried in, looking at him with one eye clouded with some sort of expression Jungkook couldn't place. It almost seemed as if Jimin was looking for some sort of confirmation that he was lying. "That's easy for you to say," he finally replied. Jungkook's stare turned quizzical. "What is that supposed to mean?" "Every fucking thing you touch turns to gold." Jungkook could feel the blood rising with heat in his veins. "I have no idea what you're talking about, and neither do you." Jimin shot up angrily from where he laid on the pillow, his livid face inches away from Jungkook's, challenging. "Have you ever even let down anyone in your stupid life?" "Yeah, I have." "Oh really? Who?" "You." Jimin only pulled back a fraction of an inch, his eyes only widened for a hair of a second, but it was enough for Jungkook to see the surprise on his face at Jungkook's no-hesitation response before he hardened again and sneered, "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Jungkook threw his hand up in exasperation. "What do you think?" Jimin made to move off the bed around him. If Jungkook wouldn't leave, he'd do it himself. "I don't have to listen to this nonsense." He didn't make it but a few inches before one of Jungkook's long and muscled arms wound itself around Jimin and practically threw him back to where he had been sitting on the bed a few seconds prior. He bounced as he hits the mattress, shock evident on his face at the blatant manhandling. "Well you're going to listen anyway."

(to be continued)

✏

hi i love u, your blog is so good i just wanna cry

Please make more jimin nsfw

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Kookmin Headcanon #5

The Kübler-Ross model, also known as the five stages of grief, postulates a series of emotions experienced by someone who has lost something very dear to them.

The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and, finally, acceptance.

  Denial:

The first time Jimin misses a schedule, Jungkook assumes he’s feeling under the weather. The second time, he must still be sick. The third, he thinks there’s got to be some family emergency, but Jimin still stays in Seoul, so it couldn’t be that. He’s probably dealing with something, so Jungkook leaves him be. He doesn’t see the way Jimin stares at him from across the dorm, when the other six have all come back from a long day of schedules, in an almost pleading way. Almost as if he wants Jungkook to say – do— something.

Jungkook does nothing.

“Jimin will be on a break for the next few weeks,” the manager tells them all, after Jungkook asks him why he hasn’t shown up for their variety appearance that day.

“When will he be back to normal?” Jungkook asks. The manager acts as if he doesn’t hear, and the members all look at Jungkook with something akin to pity.

Jungkook either doesn’t notice or pretends not to when he sees Jimin pulling his suitcase out to the waiting car. Jungkook offers to help, offers to carry it for him – but Jimin just brushes him off.

“Going on a break, hyung?” he asks, pushing down the butterflies rising in his gut.

Jimin stops, lets the manager come and take the suitcase from him. “Yeah,” he breathes, but he doesn’t look up to meet Jungkook’s gaze. Taehyung scoffs and sulks back to his room from where he was perched in the hallway, arms crossed and looking especially withdrawn. He had watched Jimin without saying a word – none of the other members in sight. It made the hair on the back of Jungkook’s neck stand up.

“We’ll wait for you to get back,” Jungkook says quietly.

Jimin finally looks up, his eyes are red and puffy, and his breathing hastens. He desperately looks like either he wants to say something, or he wants Jungkook to say something first.

Jungkook doesn’t, so no one does.

  Anger:

Jungkook finds out from an article.

A fucking article.

He was livid. He’s livid now. Here, in the elevator of this hotel where he knows Jimin is staying. Jimin never left Seoul, but he also never showed up for any schedules. His belongings slowly disappeared from the dorm. He stopped returning messages, but the messages before that were one-worded lukewarm replies at best.

Jungkook had pretended not to notice until it slapped him in the face.

And here he was, banging on Jimin’s hotel room door, irate. He had pulled teeth to get management to tell him where Jimin was, and Jungkook had to nigh-threaten Taehyung for Jimin’s room number. He knows Jimin is there. Jimin doesn’t do anything else. Especially not anymore.

A maid gives him an alarmed look as she walks by, but she doesn’t reprimand him. Jungkook knows he probably looks like a primal, wild beast right now.

“Park Jimin! Open the door! I know you’re in there!” he bellows, and he hears the TV on the other side of the door get louder.

He’d been browsing his phone when he saw something trending on naver that caught his eye. It’s the top story, and the picture accompanying it of Jimin. His Jimin. Jungkook hadn’t seen him in weeks – the picture was from right before his break. The picture was cropped to fit Jimin, but Jungkook could just make out his own shoulder on Jimin’s left. He was almost positive it the last time he’d stood next to Jimin at a public outing. He hadn’t noticed it at the time, but Jimin looked distracted in the photo. His smile seemed... stiff.

Jungkook’s breath caught in his throat when he read the title right below the picture:

Park Jimin has announced his departure from BTS.

  Bargaining:

“Hyung, talk to me.”

No answer.

“Jimin-ah, please.”

He can hear a mattress on the other side of the door whine as if someone is tossing and turning in bed.

“Don’t you think you at least owe me some sort of explanation?”

The TV gets louder.

“Was it me? Did I do something wrong?”

A woman on the TV laughs.

“I can fix it. If you come back, I’ll fix everything. Whatever it is. Whatever I did.”

A perplexed couple walks by Jungkook, giving him a silent, judgmental glare.

“I can do better.”

Jungkook thumps his forehead against the cold, smooth door.

“I can change.”

He lazily bangs his fist on the door. Once, twice.

“What happened, hyung?”

If he listens closely, he thinks – or pretends – he can hear someone sniffling on the other side.

“What happened to us?”

  Depression:

Jungkook can remember the last time he’d had Jimin before he’d left. Vividly. It was especially unsettling because it was just the day before he had stopped showing up to work. It was here, right on Jimin’s bed, in this room, this time of night.

He pulls at his messy hair, his abused scalp threatening to shed in chunks if he didn’t stop this nervous tic. He wanted to be both here and anywhere but here at the same time, and no amount of displacement activity was going to allow him to come to a decision about where to go from here.

He hasn’t left this room for a day and a half. No one has come to get him, either. Hoseok sleeps somewhere else, Jungkook doesn’t know where.

He remembers Jimin that night, his damp hair from showering, his warm, dewy skin. The way the bed dipped slightly as he crawled in to Jungkook’s lap and wordlessly started kissing his jaw.

Jimin had insisted on being face-to-face, sitting up in bed, wrapping his arms tightly around Jungkook. He had held Jungkook’s face as they moved in tandem, breathing each other’s air, lips close enough to touch but never close enough to really mean anything at all. It was awkward, and out of the ordinary for Jimin, who preferred to have someone else take the majority of the work-load during sex, but Jungkook wasn’t about to complain. He could work around awkward; he had the strength to hold Jimin aloft as needed – something about this was obviously very important, so Jungkook let it be. Sometimes Jungkook found it far too emotionally taxing to decode Jimin every time he was in a mood, which was often, so he said nothing. He just participated. He could at least be there physically, if not emotionally.

Jimin had seemed especially needy, and he was fighting tooth and nail to get whatever it was he was after. Jungkook was far more used to an aloof, hard-to-get Jimin when they fucked. He wanted to be chased, he wanted to be hunted.

This Jimin just wanted to be loved.

Jungkook just wanted to get off.

When it was over, Jungkook laid there for a good half an hour before peeling himself away from Jimin, who had his back to him. He needed a shower, and sleep – they had a packed schedule in the morning after all. Jimin asked him to stay, and Jungkook just kissed his temple and said he’d make it up to him. He always made it up to Jimin.

Didn’t he?

Jungkook stares at the soft illumination of his phone screen. He opens the last message he had received from Jimin on their last night together. Jimin had sent it about an hour after Jungkook had finally fallen asleep. His chest tightens.

04:12 Jimin: I’m really tired.

For weeks, Jungkook wondered how he hadn’t seen it coming. Now, as he sulks on Jimin’s stripped bed, nothing but a bare mattress and memories remaining, he realizes that he had probably known all along.

  Acceptance:

Kookmin Headcanon #4

Jimin is being... strange. Again.

Hoseok decided to stay behind in the dorms for their short break, as did Jimin and Jungkook, who didn’t want to make the trip back to Busan for just the two days. The rest of the members found other things to occupy them, so Hoseok was thrust in to being a baby sitter, and his charges were being insufferable.

...Again.

Jimin and Jungkook have been holed up in the maknae’s room for hours, and at this point Hoseok just turns the television up and his situational awareness down to drown out... them. And whatever it is they’re doing.

But about a half hour ago, Jimin came out of the room looking flushed and weary. Hoseok wanted to ask, but he also really, really didn’t. Jimin meandered from room to room, seemingly looking for something before realizing it wasn’t to be found. He went back in to Jungkook’s room for a few minutes, and then came back out looking even more flustered.

And now he’s set his sights on Hoseok, and Hoseok knows he’s being punished for something. Why else would god do this to him?

Jimin shuffles in to the living room while Hoseok is watching his favorite drama, and seems to be looking for the right opening to say something. He’s clearly agitated, nervous. It’s setting Hoseok’s teeth on edge.

“Did you need something?” he finally asks after Jimin has stood there shifting on his feet for ages.

Jimin scratches his scalp anxiously. “You know how when you stick something down your throat...”

Oh my god.

“...Like your fingers or something. When you’ve eaten something bad, and you need to get it back up?”

No?!

“Sure, Jimin-ah.”

“How do you get that... the gag reflex... to not do... that.”

The atmosphere has a surreal aura settle over it as the two stare awkwardly at each other, silent, and the sound from the tv drowns out every screaming thought Hoseok has firing through his brain right now.

“Are you asking me... how to desensitize your gag reflex?”

“...Yes.”

The first reaction Hoseok has – the one he always has when things like this inevitably come up – is to ask why, but he doesn’t want to know why. He doesn’t want to know details. If he doesn’t answer Jimin, he will keep asking. And if he keeps not answering, then Jungkook will start asking, and Hoseok just doesn’t think he could handle this maknae asking him how to shove something down his throat.

“You do it how I imagine you do anything, man. Train it.”

Jimin tugs at his hair. “How?”

“Little by little,” Hoseok says firmly, effectively ending the conversation right then and there. He turns back to the television and raises the volume until Jimin realizes he’s been dismissed and wonders back in to Jungkook’s room.

Hoseok doesn’t hear any more sounds for the rest of the day. His hubris gets the better of him when he assumes he’s in the clear.

And yet here it is, two in the god damn morning, and Hoseok needs to piss, and on his way to the bathroom he notices Jimin isn't in bed, and there's strange noises coming from the kitchen. A million thoughts bounce around his skull as he stands frozen in fear in the hallway.

Did someone break in?

Did a sasaeng get in and is going through their stuff?

Did they murder Jimin?

All totally valid questions.

So he slowly makes his way over to the kitchen, hesitant, and the courage finally finds him to flip the kitchen light on.

And there stands Jimin, wide eyed and looking startled at Hobi, a fucking cucumber stuck halfway in to his mouth.

"What are you doing?" Hoseok asks, but he doesn't really want to know.

uncool jungkook, warn him next time

Kookmin Headcanon #3

Up until now, Jimin had taken Jungkook's weird behavior around him as a combination of him being young and wanting contact/friends/company and also? He was just an awkward kid. Sure, now he was technically an adult, but to Jimin he'd always be his big dumb baby. So, he lets Jungkook hover around him, hang off of him, be awkward and touchy and so what? It's no biggie. It's Jungkookie. He cares about him and he'll give him the touch, attention, and contact he seems to crave, need.

Until... Jungkook takes it one step too far, way too far to be able to explain away as Jimin had done so many times before, even when others gave them a lingering, suspicious glance.

And Jungkook retreats, knowing he’d just megafucked himself; he just ruined the only good thing he had going for him, and that lightbulb goes off in Jimin’s brain.

...Oh.

Oh.

And suddenly all the hovering, the touching, the staring, etc. All of it. That wasn't Jungkook being awkward because he was a socially inept dumbass? That was... oh.

And Jimin does some soul searching. He can't think of Kook like that, right? He was there when Kook was, like, a literal baby. Sure, he's grown up. Like, a lot. And he's buff and hot and all that jazz... but no. He can't think of Jeon Jungkook like that. Not like... that.

And so they drift away from each other, awkward because they both know what went down, but trying to act like if they ignore each other long enough they'll get spontaneous amnesia and forget all about it. They can go back to normal.

But there's no going back to the normal they had. Now everything Jungkook ever did and will do, all of it will be looked at in a different light by Jimin, marred by true intentions. Jungkook's worst nightmare. He’s an idiot – he had done everything in his power to avoid this exact scenario. He had resigned himself to never having Jimin. He was fine just being close to him and never telling him. But he fucked up, got rejected, and lost everything anyways.

Eventually Jimin can't keep ignoring the guy forever, he really starts to feel bad? He can't just punish him like that, Kook can't help his feelings. He has to let Jungkook down easy but steadfastly, he will tell him he still wants to try to be friends, they can put this behind them, knowing that’s all complete and utter bullshit and it will never be like it was before.

The sudden success and fame I Need U thrust upon them made everything a hazy blur. They got swept up in the spotlight. Fame hit them like a truck. That's when Jungkook, young and unable to process this new sharp change in his short life, got too caught up in his excitement and he overstepped his boundaries. Went too far, too fast. Everything was going right and he was invincible, and he didn’t think about what he was doing when in the dead of night, as Jimin and he lay awake talking in a hotel room in Osaka alone, he leaned over and kissed him with no word of warning. That’s how Jungkook has always done things: do first, ask permission (or forgiveness) later.

But now the honeymoon is over, the high is wearing off, Jimin and Jungkook have to face reality. They can't keep running from each other forever. They have to face the literal music, they have to talk about the elephant in the room. Neither of them want to move forward, but they both know they can’t ever move back.

They have to get back to work, they have to prepare for their first come back as record smashing, show winning, successful idols. Lots of eyes are watching them now. There are expectations of them this time. RUN has to live up to the hype, has to carry the success of INU. There’s a lot riding on their shoulders, on all of their shoulders. Jimin can’t let this personal drama get in the way of his and his members’ careers. Personal sacrifices must be made.

So, Jimin confronts him... Jungkook tries to worm his way out of it, but Jimin basically corners him. They're adults now, they are actually making real money, doing commercials, getting sponsors, large concert tours are in their future... it's real now. It's time to get serious. Jungkook can't keep acting like this. It’s not an easy lesson to learn, and Jimin sure as hell doesn’t want to be the one who has to teach it to him, but if word of this were to get out to management and they felt that this could in any way impact the future success of Bangtan... the responsibility of putting a stop to it will all fall on Jimin. He has to end it before it goes too far.

And yet...

Jimin is way too soft for this stupid big baby. The way Jungkook, who until then had always been so comfortable with him, is avoiding his gaze like the plague. The way Jungkook, usually a force to be reckoned with in a room, ducks his head and tries to make himself as small as possible. The way Jungkook, who always seems to have an opinion, just solemnly nods his head in well-practiced five second intervals as Jimin starts the speech he’d been reciting to himself over and over for hours in the mirror.

It’s almost pitiful seeing Jungkook like this. Beaten down by his own hand and words, apologetic for something that he can’t control. This isn’t the Jungkook Jimin ever wanted to see.

No. His resolve is gone, and the words on his tongue turn to ash in his mouth. He could chastise Jungkook in a heartbeat, could end this so easily. So why can’t he open his mouth? Why are his palms so clammy?  Why does his tongue feel like it’s bolted to the roof of his jaw?

Jungkook lit the match but Jimin isn’t putting it out. He should. He just needs to say a quick, “Stop this.” He just needs to be firm. It’ll take all of five seconds to put Jungkook in his place. Snuff out the fire before everyone else gets burned.

But that's really what love is, right? A long, arduous, dangerous, beautiful, volatile burn. And this fire would be a downright rebellion. A rebellion that, once initiated, would spread like wildfire that no one will be able to contain.

But every fire begins with a single flame – and every flame begins with a spark.

hey hi could u post the selfies of jimin that u included in the kookmin text thing ? the one where jk texts the wrong # and the # is jimin and like the proceed to you know .. that .. haha the selfies jimin "sent" :) if its no bother :)

DID YOU SEE BTS LATEST PHOTOSHOOT?? (I think it was for the 4th anniversary) there is one in which Jimin has a jacket an very long shirt that ot looks like a dress...... NOW I KNOW THAT JIMIN WOULD REALLY REALLY LOOK GOOD IN A SKIRT

Fact: Jimin looks good in everything, but skirts especially so.

…

http://ift.tt/1RLVb9i

I love your blog, keep up the good work!

Thank you, you have wonderful edits!

Hi! Was wondering what does geolle mean? :o

걸레     = rag/cloth etc.

When used as slang, however, it means something a little different.

honestly i just wanna say your blog is a field trip, i didn't think i'd ever see a dom!kook and sub!jimin blog but this is like A+ (also your headcanons are quality srsly) (lowkey me saying sorry if u get a spam of notifications from me from liking everything on your blog lmao)

Thank you! Though gotta admit, dom!min isn’t out of the question at this point... We will have to see when we get there.

Sorry to be a little scarce lately, been cooking up a few things here and there that will (hopefully?) be published soon.