book aesthetics - the raven cycle: upcoming gansey’s death
He was so real. When it finally happened, when she finally saw him, it didn’t feel like magic at all. It felt like looking into the grave and seeing it look back at her. “Is that all?” she whispered. Gansey closed his eyes. “That’s all there is.”
The scent of Cabeswater, all trees after rain, drifted past Adam, and he realized that while he’d been looking at Ronan, Ronan had been looking at him. [listen]
Gansey dangled his hand between the driver’s seat and the door. Palm up, fingers stretched back to Blue.
This was not allowed.
He knew it was not allowed, by rules he himself had set… She would not see the gesture, anyway. She would ignore it if she did. His heart hummed.
Blue touched his fingertips.
Just this–
He pinched her fingers lightly, just for a moment, and then he withdrew his hand and put it back on the wheel. His chest felt warm.
This was not allowed.
see you on the streets { grubby trap for snarling engines and cracked asphalt }
this was how it started: nose up to the light. meet the driver’s eyes. shut off the air-con to give the car a few extra horsepower. rev the engine. smile like danger. this was how ronan found trouble, except for when the trouble was kavinsky. because then it found him.
His hands. His hands. His hands.
They weren’t Adam’s.
They were hot and sweaty, they felt grubby on Ronan’s skin and
he just couldn’t- he- this was wrong.
This was wrong. He wasn’t saying this from shame,
guilt or from thinking about what his dad and Declan would say.
He was saying this because Joseph’s nails were digging
into his hips, his kissing felt more like his goal was
to bruise and mark Ronan’s skin as much as possible.
He felt dirty, and used.
Joseph’s hands were too hot, his mouth was
too hard, his hips were too sharp
and none of this felt like his idea.
It was too fast, he was rushing this the whole night. Pining Ronan
down in the back seat, grinding his hips against his
and speeding to the abandoned lot. This was all a race.
Like all races, they usually ended with a winner and
someone with a wrecked car.
Ronan didn’t want to be the wrecked car.
He couldn’t say he wasn’t attracted to Kavinsky. He was, but
as the kisses dragged out longer and became deeper, he was
having a harder time engaging it.
He had to remind himself to put his arms around his back
and to lean his head up rather than just lay back and go limp.
This was not his idea. He let his hands drop, he felt aroused,
that much was obvious but the anticipation was more than
the build up.
(Something along the lines of : Don’t Wake Me by Robots Don’t Sleep)
gansey always thought that, after dark, it felt like anything could happen. at night, henrietta felt like magic, and at night, magic felt like it might be a terrible thing.
Ronan had memorized the shape of Adam’s hands in particular: the way his thumb jutted awkwardly, boyishly; the roads of the prominent veins across his slender hands;