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foiazoli · 10 hours

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Hamlet as a D&D paladin.

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#Hamlet was my favorite high school english book #Hamlet himself is such a compelling guy #this comic REALLY makes this scene hit tho holy fuck

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foiazoli · 22 hours

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Hot Takes and Conspiracy Theories About the Silm by Fourth Age Gondorians

(this post stemmed from the idea of the Silm as a part of some very ancient manuscripts Tolkien was just translating, and how it may compare to real world epics like Edda - stories that may have started as poems and songs written down centuries after the fact in a completely different mode and by someone with very different cultural background than the original context of the poems and possibly with motives about promoting himself or his ancestors. so what if this was how Fourth Age Gondorians regarded the Silm as well and had schools of thought and self-taught enthusiasts debating what the stories actually mean? what kind of takes would they come up with?)

The Two Trees

Valinor did not have some special light-emanating trees and they did not actually die, it's just a nature myth that metaphorically talks about a period when the sky literally darkened; this was caused by some unknown natural disaster (like the explosion of a supervolcano).

references to Tree-light and Elves being enhanced by it is just Noldorin propaganda.

The Silmarils were not real. At least not as they are portrayed in the Silm.

there are various theories as to what they really were (religious artifacts? some mandate of rulership? just really pretty jewels and everybody exaggerated how special they were? some kind of a super weapon?), but also more philosophical suggestions that the Silmarils are the elements of air, water and earth itself (hint hint that's why they eventually become part of these), and the struggle over them represents the struggle over rulership of Beleriand/Middle-earth. that in the end the Silmarils aren't really possessed by anyone reflects how all kingdoms eventually fall and nobody under Eru can be a master of the world.

Fëanor was not a real guy and the sons of Fëanor were not actually related to one another.

like who even is that great and perfect?

he's probably just some kind of a bogeyman made up by the Sindar

did anyone in Beleriand ever even see him? CONVENIENT that he spontaneously combusted almost immediately after he came to Beleriand

also who names their kid "the spirit of fire"??? what if it's not a personal name of any elf but more like a title? or a name associated with some entity that had religious following in Valinor?

there's a clue to this in how Fëanor's supposed sons are mostly referred to as "the sons of Fëanor" or "Fëanorians": it bears thinking that they were not actually related to one another, but "Fëanorian" was a title in a same way that "Fëanor" was a title. It doesn't mean an ACTUAL son to a guy named Fëanor but a devotee to whatever the entity or title named Fëanor represented.

(they couldn't be real brothers because there just can't be that many hair colours in one family.)

MAYBE FËANORIANS WERE SOME KIND OF A CULT

it was probably some kind of a death cult obsessed with blood and murder, considering their body count

also because of this they were kicked out of Valinor and all stories about how they WANTED to leave are propaganda.

Celeborn was at least three or four different guys.

How else do you explain the different versions about who he was?

the one who fathered Celebrían was Galadriel's real true love, but he died in obscure circumstances

this theory you don't really want to talk about much, because you don't want to insult Queen Arwen. Also the current Celeborn may come after you.

Beren did not actually die and come back

his first death is a symbolic one: he had been estranged from his relatives and people, but by marrying Lúthien he completely leaves behind that life and "dies" as a member of the House of Bëor to become a part of the House of Elwe

he did not come again among Men after marrying Lúthien, in other words he was dead to his original society

the sequence in Mandos where Lúthien pleads for pity was originally a description of a courting scene that got bastardised along the way; she had to go to the remaining members of the House of Bëor and ask for Beren's hand in marriage. They would not agree unless Beren gave up his claim to the title of chieftain, i. e. he has symbolically died.

Melian was actually Ungoliant

that's why Doriath lasted so long, Morgoth was still scared shitless of her and didn't dare go anywhere near her

Nan Dunghortheb was literally her backyard!!!

why else Lúthien would be able to weave weird dream cloaks???

Húan wasn't a dog, he was an Elf

the idea that he was a dog came from:

he was the best tracker in Aman, so in Beleriand he was called "The Hound of Valinor". Later generations thought this literally meant he was a dog.

whoever wrote down the legends about him was a wishful idiot who loved dogs and wanted them to be able to talk (understandable)

Something Weird Was Going On With Maeglin

aside from the obvious, of course

were Aredhel and Eöl really his parents though? was Aredhel even married to Eöl?

maybe Maeglin was a thrall of Morgoth, or was born in captivity and brainwashed to be loyal, and his task from the beginning was to bring Gondolin down

Aredhel did leave Gondolin like the Silm says, but stuff did not go down like the story tells.

-during her wanderings, Aredhel somehow found Maeglin and saw him as her shot to stage a coup in Gondolin by claiming he was her son (and male heir for the kingdom). Eöl never existed. Or if he did, he was a random guy Aredhel met and used to her own ends.

Turgon found out about Aredhel's plans (but not about Maeglin) and he was the one who actually killed her.

maybe she was a Fëanorian cult member in secret and was trying to take over Gondolin for them

Túrin son of Húrin, Mormegil, Turambar and the other aliases associated with The Children of Húrin were actually all different guys

nobody can get up to that much weird shit

the real Túrin probably died in Doriath and Melian covered it up

Elured and Elurin survived. They changed their names and became Elrond and Elros.

Maglor is the Bigfoot of Middle-earth. There is a dedicated fanclub that keeps track of sightings (which are as obscure and bonkers as you could imagine).

if you subscribe to "Fëanorians were a death cult" theory, then Maglor is actually an ominous cryptid that foretells misfortunes.

Thingol is alive and lives as a hermit somewhere in Mirkwood.

Thranduil is aware of it and in fact he has helped to keep it secret all this time.

There are also hot takes about Eärendil and Elwing and whether they were real people.

Eärendil is a half-elf, actual Star and God's favourite little guy. He has a flying ship and travels in space. He keeps an eye on Satan himself. His birth was foretold, he fought and killed the biggest dragon in history in a massive air battle that caused an entire mountain to collapse, and he may have killed Ungoliant. No real person is that special.

Elwing wouldn't do what bunch of men (who were maybe in a death cult) told her, she's obviously a villain if she existed. She can't die (was directly prevented by divine powers when she tried to) and chose to be immortal. Also being God's favourite little gal and having the ability to turn into a bird? Very suspicious.

Silmarien and her descendants were the true heirs of Númenor and if they had ruled, Númenor would still exist

the ruling line had many problematic characters that were not well suited to the role

it also culminated in Ar-Pharazon and all the tragedy that his actions brought

Silmarien inherited some of the most important heirlooms from the First Age, which proves that even her father thought she was the true heir

also Silmarien's descendants survived to maintain was what left of the culture and wisdom of Númenor; further proof of Silmarien's right.

#silm #Melian as Ungoliant has me wheezing #also a fan of the fëanorian death cult and associated “the feanorians could not possibly have been actually like that“

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foiazoli · 2 days

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please elaborate in tags :)

#less likely to pick it up #if it's the only thing making you recommend it then it's probably a romance - my least favorite genre #if it has nothing else to recommend it then it probably isn't well written and I am uninterested in it #so when people were shilling The Locked Tomb as “lesbian necromancers in space” I was wary and required more expounding on the sci-fi aspec #before being willing to pick up a book #and I did enjoy the first one but got so pissed off reading the second and third due to the structuring that #its the number one thing I mention to other people looking to start the series #whereas when Priory of the Orange tree was recommended to me as Dragons Magic Kingdom Politics also queer ladies - I was immediately down #and loved it immensely

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foiazoli · 4 days

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You guys really liked my last poll so

#polls #okay so a bioluminescent fungus would be awesome as hell in several of these places #but I went with a geode because that would truly be baller as hell #imagine cracking open a rock and you get a cavern of crystals AND they’ve grown fungus?? that glows?? incredible.

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foiazoli · 6 days

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IM GOING TO PUNCH A HOLE IN SOMEONES CAR

#filed under: things I learned literally right now #I feel so lied to I should probably fact check this but I can’t be bothered to go to a different website rn

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foiazoli · 6 days

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So I was thinking about Ingwion's name today, as you do. It feels like a pretty bad name, as it just means "son of Ingwe" and doesn't give him much space for his own personality, history, etc outside of his father. I was also thinking about how Ingwe must not have any other sons then, as having one of your sons being named "my son" and another one(s) not being called anything like that is... favoritism? Something like that anyway.

But then I had a better thought - Ingwion isn't a singular elf, he's several elves in a trench coat. Allow me to elaborate.

"Ingwion" is just the name of Ingwe's heir/the crown prince of the Vanyar, and is just used by whichever of Ingwe's kids drew the short straw and had to do politics this time or who decided they needed to do something political. All of Ingwe's kids have actual distinct names, and they just pretend to be one person who doesn't actually exist for the sake of political expediency.

#yes this exactly lmao

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foiazoli · 6 days

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My guess is that it comes from when Yananna asks Feanor to break the silmarils to restore the trees and he responds that it would kill him to do so. The text makes it seem like more of a “die of a broken heart” thing than a “he put his life force in them so breaking that would kill him” thing but if people are conflating this with Sauron and the one ring because in both cases the maker dies (or thinks they would) when the thing they made is destroyed then I get where they’re coming from.

That quote from HoME is interesting too, because I have seen many fan works where the one ring is a split of Sauron’s soul so now i’m wondering where THAT came from too.

I agree that the “feanor put a piece of his soul in the silmarills” is popular because it’s compelling and it excuses feanor, rather than significant textual support. Then again, so few things in this fandom have significant textual support and some of the best fan works I’ve seen here have been “hey wouldn’t it be cool if..” and then just going.

Where does this extremely pervasive piece of fanon that Fëanor put pieces of his soul in the Silmarils come from though?

I get why it's so popular -- people want to excuse the Fëanorians somehow, and after all, we do not deal out death penalty in disputes over property, stolen or otherwise, so their actions will always be overkill if the Silmarils are just special treasures. But there is zero things pointing towards it in the books.

In fact I would argue that canon actually provides evidence against it, given how the catholic understanding of the soul holds it to be indivisible, and I'm quite sure a statement to similar effect is available about the fëa somewhere*. So you cannot "put a piece of your soul in something", unless metaphorically.

I feel like Fëanor probably was connected with the Silmarils on some deeper level -- but they can't have been made of his soul. It doesn't work like that.

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*"The fëa is indestructible, a unique identity which cannot be disintegrated or absorbed into any other identity" - HoME X

#silm #feanor

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foiazoli · 6 days

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serious silm comics only

original

#silm art #maedhros #maglor #I genuinely think about this post every time I make grilled cheese #I had grilled cheese for lunch today and then saw this just now #love when the universe aligns like that

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foiazoli · 7 days

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having some Thoughts N Feelings abt elrond & elros + the historical practice of rulers taking children from the families of their tributaries or even their (nominal) allies as hostages

primarily that (1) the Politics of the Fëanorions having the heirs of Fingolfin AND Thingol AND All Three of the Three Houses as their hostages is like… soooo overlooked and underutilized in the fanworks I’ve seen

and (2) i think it would be rlly funny and also fucked-up if most elves are Totally Scandalized And Horrified by this Weird Human Behavior of “hostage-taking” if/when they see it happening in the second & third ages as human settlements & societies in M-E grow & develop, while Elrond is just like, “this is Normal, what are you Talking about”

#silm #silm meta #elrond #elros #I think I have seen one (1) fic where Gil-Galad is scrambling post-Sirion because those boys are in the line of succession after him #but most people ignore the political implications until E&E show back up during/after the wrath #which misses the potential for exchanged threats and politicking during the active hostage situation #I wonder if this influences Elrond’s decision to take in Aragorn/other dúnedain #like in Aragorns case at least Gilraen comes to Rivendell on purpose #but Elrond very much does raise Aragorn as his son and I am suddenly squinting at that from a new angle #Aragorn would of course grow up to be chieftain of the dunedain - so if Elrond wants to influence their politics/decisions #all he has to do is raise Aragorn to want to do whatever Elrond’s goal is #since Elrond is Elrond said goal turns out to be defeating Sauron and restoring the king of Gondor which are good things #but if he had had something nefarious in mind…

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foiazoli · 7 days

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So I was thinking about Ingwion's name today, as you do. It feels like a pretty bad name, as it just means "son of Ingwe" and doesn't give him much space for his own personality, history, etc outside of his father. I was also thinking about how Ingwe must not have any other sons then, as having one of your sons being named "my son" and another one(s) not being called anything like that is... favoritism? Something like that anyway.

But then I had a better thought - Ingwion isn't a singular elf, he's several elves in a trench coat. Allow me to elaborate.

"Ingwion" is just the name of Ingwe's heir/the crown prince of the Vanyar, and is just used by whichever of Ingwe's kids drew the short straw and had to do politics this time or who decided they needed to do something political. All of Ingwe's kids have actual distinct names, and they just pretend to be one person who doesn't actually exist for the sake of political expediency.

#silm #ingwe #ingwion #silm headcanons #silmarillion #thanks for listening to my silly silm thought of the day

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foiazoli · 8 days

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I use this celebrimbor concept in my gil-galad fic but Celebrimbor isn’t the mc so it’s not expanded upon, but also, I wanna talk about it.

So, as a concept; Celebrimbor makes fake plants.

It’s mostly a crack headcanon because Celebrimbor is an Inventor (*cough* mad scientist *cough*) and Inventors always make practical stuff that looks normal. Like, Celebrimbor opens the inside of a fake plant in front of Galadriel (who didn’t notice the fake plant was so…mechanical), and now Galadriel doesn’t trust any of the fake plants in Eregion. Are they all decorative? Do they all have secret compartments? Who knows! (Celebrimbor refuses to tell her which are decorative-fake and which are hidden-knife-fake)

It escalates to the point where Gil-Galad gets gifted a Fake Plant and after tugging on a rubber leaf (per the instruction manual), the whole pot opens to reveal an ornate set of well-made daggers.

Elrond also gets gifts inside Fake Plants. Narvi, too, who thinks it’s hilarious.

At one point, Celebrimbor discovers a way to make the fake plant leaves sway in the wind without the stiffness of rubber, and a new type of silicone that feels leafy to the touch if prepared properly. Galadriel’s paranoia grows as the Fake Plants get more realistic.

Love the idea of Celebrimbor and the classic “Inventor Makes Hidden Compartment Inside Harmless Things” trope. I think it’s just the right amount of harmless, accidentally threatening, and Mad Scientist to fit Celebrimbor’s character.

#silm #silm headcanons #celebrimbor #headcanon officially adopted #this reminds me of the guy on tiktok who 3D prints fake plants with useful functions #like there’s one where the leaves come off and function as coasters #there’s a fake succulent where you take a little pointy bit and it’s a pushpin #etc #I would like to nominate celebrimbor as also doing that

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foiazoli · 8 days

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Half Goblin, half Hobbit.

Goblit.

#lotr #fic #incredible

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foiazoli · 8 days

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Sometimes, I think the biggest problem with the Oath isn’t what it said, but what it didn’t say, and by extension the assumptions that its swearers had to make because of what was missing from its text.

#silm meta #silm #sons of feanor #I enjoy comparing my own interpretation of the oath to the feanorians interpretation of the oath #because they don’t necessarily have to match #because I see a lot of people assuming the feanorians could have broken the oath with very few consequences #but then you have to wonder if the feanorians themselves saw it that way. Do they agree and just believe that hard in property rights?#or do they disagree on that interpretation and are fearfully scrambling to keep their loved ones out of the eternal darkness?#those are two pretty different understandings that lead to two pretty different characterizations and motivations #which is fascinating!

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foiazoli · 8 days

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