fickkkin
satoru (me when i have no one to talk to)
fictionkin (please talk to me please pls. ple
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on a different note im glad gnsn added icons for world quests bc finally i get a narziskrz icon. still bummed i didnt get the 4.1 bp nrzskz namecard but. oh well. at least i have the tower of gestalt one
#strrambles#also bummed about the icon being a general narziskz symbol and not me or jakob :(#i mean i fully expected it bc gnsn hates the characters theyve decided to frame as villains
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i know i was really looking forward to the new gnsn update bc rmria n ptrichor expansion,, but now im fighting the rene shift off with a stick
just got a comm that had me put fish bait in the institute of natural philo LMAO girl help.! rene dont come any closer no .. no….. not right now
#strrambles#purely bc im grooving real hard in my dante shift#and also bc rene shift emotions are not particularly great so. not saying the dante ones are good either lol but hes like the only kin with#some semblance of a happy ending for me
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hell nah the new season. not the new season
#strrambles#been avoiding it but saw a couple screenshots#safe to say they absolutely butchered me this new season LMAO er#goodbye. god be w ye or smth im going to krill mhsle
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goodmorning yall (its 7:54 pm and i have work in 6 mins) i got a haircut today for kin validation except it came out a little too. unlike said kin. but oh well! cute either way. i think itll look similar in three weeks or so when it grows out a bit
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im COOKING (artwise
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i was in the middle of taking off my shirt and looked into the mirror and holy shit this is the kin that looks most like me and im. an east asian girl. and bros a what 6 foot 4 blue collar white man (<- doesnt know shit about american measurement) i think its the hair hol6 fucking shit
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came to terms with the fact i found a new kin oh iTS SO OVER its hindering me
#strrambles#i skipped a lot of school for this#mid sems are literally#NOW#and i cant do anything because i feel sick everywhere#i feel sick i feel sick i feel sick i feel sick
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sgr hate posts ruin my day. it doesnt help theyve roped ME into it too?? what do you mean /i/ would have the same opinion as you?????? im trying to write my assignment and this is all that keeps coming to my mind
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changed my layout and. and. wore a fit that reminds me of myslef today. man. man.
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been trying to change the sound of my internal monologue but its not working
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i always marvel at how much research genshin lore writers put in. i was just deliberating. as you do. and realised the tower of gestalt (ipsissimus) is a reference to the german gestalt movement. cue me scrambling to get out my psych lecture notes from a week ago. gestalt says “the whole is [independent] to the sum of its parts” and gestalt translated to “form / figure / whole / complete” and i think thats. really genius. considering its other name is “ipsissimus” (“the most itself” in latin). those names did a good job at summarising narzskrz ideology. and. i guess my point is. i think its a nice coincidence i study the very things i used to study. i think its funny. but also? hm. isnt it a bit of a waste? i couldve done something ive never done before.
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idk man. i should be humble and whatnot but i have to defend myself
#strrambles#ok first we can all agree i had noble intentions yeah?#right then. did i do plenty things wrong? well no#my only mistakes i argue were pushing my responsibility onto jakob#and letting narzissenkreuz take over#first of all carter was fully justified. he was in full agreement. we had appropriate intentions.#and i regret it? mm maybe. without him we couldnt have continued our research.#(and here i must say people look back on these actions with a lens from the present. they judge us because they know the archon would#save the day. but we didnt know that.)#the foundation of the ordo was once again justified. we were open with our ideas#we showed them the revelations. which were accurate at that time#and offered a utilitarian method that would allow us to preserve everyone#we were open with the idea#and they joined.#we knew only how to dissolve and merge#and were aiming for a solution after the mass dissolutions#which im sure we could have achieved and as a result reseparated post disaster#though i guess i cant speak of what ifs here#but look those were the intentions and none were: hey lets live in a hivemind forever!#that being said#my major mistake was dissolving myself#i know ascension in that way requires you to strip all psyche and ego and the freud shit#but i overlooked just how unethical narzissenkreuz would be without those things#and arghghgg. i dont know man. though narz isnt me because i die with my psyche#i have an obligation over my creation#and he — or they — messed things up badly.#and yeah by that dissolution i also indirectly caused my own brother to take such a dark route#the lengths he went to just to revive me was. frankly very cool of him. in my lens. but also terrible for himself and terrible for everyone#else. like if id just held off on that dissolving part and let myself figure things out for a bit longer#if my dissolution even WORKED in the first place
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OH MY GOD I JUST REALISED HOW HARD I WILL HAVE TO STUDY
#strrambles#no because. ive never self directed study before#it was always tutors and teachers. suddenly i am by myself#and one#i like to procrastinate lowkey#and two#i dont know how much work is adequate work??????? i dont???????#like there arent past papers? theres nothing that tells me what i need to memorise and what i dont need to memorise#and thats daunting. ill end up trying to memorise every tiny little thing I JUST KNOW IF#it*#and idk. on top of that i think ill have to spend the entire 4 years under constant stress. unlike hs u know. where i was reallg only#stressed out of my wits in the very last year. in the very last 1/2 of a year#haaaaaaaaaaaaaa idk and they want me to do postgrad med which#sure i guess i can work towards that#but like the fact ill need to take gamsat. and ILL HAVE TO KNOW ALL THE THREE SCIENCES#like thats. thats so hard. i only did one in hs. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. like why did i work THIS hard in hs#and spend so much of my familys money#just to do a mid degree#and all my hs achievements are just. forgotten. and i have to get new grades..#ahhhdgggrrarghhhhhargh
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maybe i should treat my pms. (maybe its pmdd) it messes w everything
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every now i remember i have a shakespeare kinsider and do a double take
#strrambles#perhaps i should read the prequels and sequels#and lowkey i rlly wanna go by said guys name
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