Cutting is bliss but also the bane of my existence

Cutting is great. Cutting helps the pain ya know.Cutting makes everything better.Cutting helps me release the pain and anger i feel for myself.But theres still a part of me that hates me even more. And of course youre supposed to hate yourself but i cant help but cry for the life I couldve had.The fact that maybe instead of wearing shorts all the time to the beach I could be wearing a normal bathing suit. But i cant stop.I cant fucking stop and the more I do it the more I hate myself and the more I hate myself the more I do it.

"Anybody wanna kill themselves?" (Say 'I' if you do lol)

Damn

You know whats absolutly hilarious is the fact that I have so many friends but nobody knows what Ive done to myself, what I want to do to myself and what I could do to myself. Nobody cares and Nobody ever will.