fancybilliepipersir
Bite Me Alien Boy
RAVENCLAW. Nerd. Multifandom. Feels like I've been on this website for 84 years. 🇪🇦🇺🇲
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Steve’s not paying attention. He’s in his head thinking about who knows what, when he hands Eddie a can of Coke.
“Thanks,” Eddie hums while Steve plops down beside him on the couch.
And then it happens.
Steve, without a thought in his head, leans over and presses a kiss to Eddie’s temple.
Before he’s completely pulled back he realizes his mistake.
“Uh, thanks?” Eddie’s lips are pursed like he’s fighting back saying a whole lot more.
“Shit,” Steve’s still positioned halfway between sitting down and leaning in.
“It’s ok, dude.” Eddie tries to hold his soda casually. “We’ve all done it.” But Eddie scrunches his face like he doesn’t even believe his lie.
“No, uh, I don’t-I don’t know why I did that.” Except he does.
He’s been thinking about kissing Eddie for months. He’s been wondering how soft the man’s lips are, or if he’d be gentle or rough when kissing Steve back.
The lie feels like a lead balloon in his gut.
“No big deal, Harrington. In fact, I’ll kiss you. Even the score.”
“Wha-?” Eddie’s lips cut Steve off with the most awkward kiss Steve’s ever experienced.
But.
It’s Eddie’s lips pressing against Steve’s and Steve doesn’t want to waste this insane opportunity so he kisses back. The action must surprise Eddie because he stalls his lips for a brief second before he’s surging forward like a man starved for more.
They’re interrupted by a clearing of a throat.
“Wha-what is happening here?” Robin stands at the end of the couch, returning from the bathroom with her arms crossed.
Eddie’s eyes widen and he pulls away from Steve’s lips slowly.
“Uh, well? I owed Steve for…” he looks around for any kind of answer, then notices the can in his hand. “My soda!”
Robin stares at him incredulously. “I’ll get my own drinks from now on.”
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Stop glorifying Steddie, Steve and Eddie, for fuck sake.
I’m a steddie blog and they’re fictional characters it’s not that deep.
I want them to kiss and get married.
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a snippet of the hadestown au i'll never be confident enough to fully write
“Robin,” Eddie begged (probably a bit too desperately given the circumstances), “Robin-Robin-Robin, you’ve betrayed me.”
Robin sighed as she turned to face him.
“How have I betrayed you, Eddie?” she asked, “Honestly.”
Eddie didn’t respond, just gestured wordlessly at the man currently sitting in a booth on the other side of the bar that Robin had just led him into.
The most gorgeous (handsome, beautiful, sexy, attractive, hot, whatever) man Eddie had ever laid his humble eyes upon.
“I’ve told you loads about him, Eddie,” Robin replied, wrapping a hand around her wrist and trying to tug him away from the door.
“Yeah. You’ve told me all about how nice and funny and sweet he is, and how he’s a kindergarten teacher and how he puts most of his paycheck right back into his classroom and how he volunteers at that learning center downtown and he likes to cook and he gardens. He gardens, Rob. You didn’t tell me he’s also the hottest person I’ve ever seen in real life.”
Robin, the bastard that she is, only muttered, "Gross," and rolled her eyes as she finally succeeded in dislodging Eddie from where he’s feet had been planted on the somewhat sticky floor and getting him moving towards the booth.
“Robin,” he hissed.
“Just be cool,” she hissed back, “If you’re even capable of that.”
“I’m cool,” Eddie insisted, “I’m so cool.”
And then Robin is shoving him into the booth (across from Steve, thankfully) and sliding in next to him.
“Steve, this is Eddie,” she said, “Eddie – Steve.”
“Hey man,” Steve says, “Nice to meet you finally. Robin’s told me loads.”
Steve is grinning and it’s reaching all the way to his eyes, and they’re big and bright and brown and meeting his own eyes in full and it’s making Eddie’s heart thrum in a way he hasn’t really ever felt before, and someone should really revoke his allowed to speak freely card at least for a minute or two so he can't say something stupid, but nobody does so he says —
“Dude, I’m gonna marry you someday.”
Steve’s eyebrows fly up, but, if anything, his grin only gets wider as he looks at Robin.
“Rob – when you said this guy was crazy, I didn’t think you meant this crazy.”
Robin only gives him a resigned shrug.
“Not one of you listens to me.”
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Eddie’s live-streaming from the front porch where he’s sitting on their porch swing, playing guitar. So Eddie did not bring his followers into their neighborhood drama. Steve did.
You can see Steve pass in front of the camera a few times before you hear him loudly ask, “What?”
There’s a pause and then he’s like, “I can’t hear you!”
Eddie looks up and over towards the yard but he doesn’t stop playing. He doesn’t seem to have any interest in the conversation going on at all. His chat on the other hand are thrilled to be able to hear Dan say, “Got myself a ring camera. It records the porch and the driveway and sends the video to my phone if it detects movement. So if any vandalism happens…I’ll know.”
Steve: Okay…? And I have a gun
Eddie: *experiences twelve different flavors of ‘what now?’*
Dan: Is that a threat?
Steve: No. I thought we were both just stating facts about home security no one cares about.
Steve: You can go now. Bye.
Eddie, stopping Steve before he goes back inside: Babe, you don’t actually have a gun, right?
Steve:
Eddie: Stevie, you once almost took my head off with a baseball bat full of nails in your sleep. You did NOT buy a gun.
Steve:
Steve: Are you stupid? Why would buy a gun when I could borrow one from Nancy?
Steve: *goes inside*
Eddie:
Eddie: That didn’t answer my question, Steve!
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Noah Czerny
Commissions open!
@corvys.clover on Instagram
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Steve comes home from a few hours of running errands with his and Eddie’s one-year-old daughter Moe to find Eddie pitching an absolute fit to his beleaguered book agent Paul over the phone.
Given how Eddie’s third book is about three months away from its release date, Steve has a pretty decent idea what the fit might be over.
The dreaded book tour.
Look – Steve doesn’t like it either. He didn’t like it back in ‘95 when Eddie’s first book came out. He didn’t like it in ‘99 with the second one either. He definitely won’t like it this time around, especially now with Moe in the picture. He actually likes having his partner around, believe it or not (and, if he’s honest, there’s still some baggage surrounding work-related travel and his parents’ relationship that he’s still trying to shake).
Still, he knows it’s a necessary evil of Eddie’s success and they’ll all survive it.
That’s Steve’s perspective anyways, even if Eddie doesn’t share it with him.
Eddie looks over as Steve drops a few bags of groceries onto the kitchen counter.
“Hang on, Paul – Steve just got back from absconding with my daughter,” Eddie says, and then he pulls the phone away from his ear, “Don’t put her down for a nap yet.”
Steve only shakes his head.
“Sorry, Paul,” he says, not raising his voice quite enough for Paul to actually hear him (Eddie hears him though, and that’s what matters) as he continues on his way up the stairs to get Moe ready for her nap (he’ll drag out the process as long as he can for Eddie’s sake – he’s not a total monster).
In the end, Eddie’s phone call ends no more than five minutes later.
“So what’s the damage?” Steve asks when Eddie makes his way into Moe’s room.
“Five weeks,” Eddie grumbles as he pulls Moe out of Steve’s arms. He presses a kiss to her chubby cheek and then adds, “Stops goddamn nation-wide.”
“Maybe stop writing so good and you wouldn’t have this issue,” Steve points out.
“Shut up – I’m not gonna do it. Paul can drop me, see if I care.”
“You’d care.”
Eddie’s shoulders slump.
“Yeah, I’d care,” he mutters, and then he shakes his head, “It’s entirely unfair that he’d expect me to leave home for over a month when he knows I have a little baby at home. I’m not doing it. She’ll be a whole teenager when I come back, Stevie.”
Steve looks at him, “It’s five weeks, love. She’ll probably still be the same shoe size.”
“I’ll miss our anniversary.”
“No, you won’t. It’s not ‘til the month after.”
“Okay, who’s side are you on here?”
“Paul’s, obviously.”
Eddie’s jaw drops as he feigns an affronted expression.
“I cannot believe that my beloved, my betrothed–”
“Betrothed?”
“–would side with my traitorous agent over–”
“Ed, Paul was pretty forgiving when you slowed down writing for six months for the foster training stuff,” Steve points out (and it’s a point that actually manages to stop Eddie’s tirade – an impressive feat, he’s well aware), “And then he was really forgiving when you stopped completely for almost a year when Moe was born. Wasn’t this book supposed to come out, like, over a year ago? I feel like the least you can do is put up with a book tour given everything you’ve put him through.”
Eddie only blinks at him a moment – clearly trying to fathom any kind of counter-argument and coming up empty.
“Damn you,” he mutters.
“Can’t believe you used to be the guy who wanted to be a rockstar and go on year-long world tours,” Steve laughs, “Now you can’t even handle a month of the continental United States.”
“Watch your mouth, Harrington. Hey – maybe you and Moe can come and be the world’s cutest groupies.”
“We’ll see.”
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no you dont understand I need platonic stobin cuddling I need stobin cheek kisses I need stobin getting married for tax benefits AND cause they want to I need stobin attached at the hip I need stobin being each others number one wingman I need stobin living together I need stobin making coffee for each other in the morning I need —
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I really wish I was one of those people who enjoys pregnancy. This is the absolute worst. This is my 4th one and none of them have been fun. (Well, maybe the second one because it only lasted 6 weeks). The reward of the child is great but the actual pregnancy bit is awful. I've been so dizzy and nauseous and gross. I just had one of my favorites and it all came back up (luckily I made it to the garbage). Ok rant over thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
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I'm a dolphin 😭😭😭
Random Animal Generator - Perchance
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anonymous reviewer: i don’t like the way you’ve written this character in this fic
me:
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...When you want your f*ck buddy to become your f*ck husband
(And yes, it is the year 2024 and I am still making sad men comics, sue me)
Please don't repost, but do join me on Patreon or leave me a tip if you like my work, times are tough!
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Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.
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Let’s say that Cas wears Dean’s amulet and Dean wears Cas’s grace…
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