Seriously, Tumblr is the only social media, besides Pinterest, that doesn't make my mental health feel yucky.

tumblr is great because no matter how many followers i get it doesn't stop me from being really fucking annoying. other places i will perhaps think before i post. Not here. not here

Bellies are hot.

Aging is hot. Gray hairs are hot. Smile lines are hot. Get with it.

I can be a melodramatic queen at times. But it takes the sting out of having to accept bullshit that's out of my control.

I'm watching "After Life". What'll happen if I say exactly what I think all the time? I mean, being bluntly honest in all my words and actions? Not acting like a petulant teenager. More like, no bullshit. No bullshit about myself either. Because if I'm not going to accept bullshit from others, that means I can't accept bullshit myself either. Fuck, I bullshit myself everyday. And not being mean either... but that means sometimes I can't be blunt... and this is why it's so exhausting for me to figure out human interactions all day, every day. The human condition blows. But it sucks for everyone, so I just need to get over myself about it. I feel like I just walked in a circle.

I bought this plaster meditating frog at a secondhand store last summer, and I left it outside over the winter. I'm a little sad that it didn't survive, but it did give me the perfect opportunity to make a meme that feels very close to my own life right now.

stop shaking

just stand up for my self

why is it so difficult to stand up for my own self

:(((

Amor Fati. I can love my fate. I do all the time. It's more of a romanticized love, but that feels pretty much the same as true love, at least for me, in the moment. By loving my fate, I am faking it 'till I make it or "acting as if", if you will. But here's the rub. How much agency do I have in my fate? This gets me into one of the biggest questions plaguing the human condition since we evolved a prefrontal cortex that gave us both the wonderful gift of imagination and forethought, but also nagging anxiety of, "do I have a fate, or free-will?" Sprinkle in the biggest practical joke of all time: ADHD, which gives me the equal and opposite urges of both craving and rebelling against structure, and I can both feel free and shackled at the same time. Here I am. Just another human ego trying to cheat the system. Motherfucker... does this all just end with Chief putting a pillow over my face? ;-)

I vacillate between feeling like the fiction I read or watch either inoculates me from the ills of society, or distracts me from dealing with the hard truths of my reality. Why can't my energy find a happy medium?

Gods how I love Art Nouveau ❤️‍🔥

The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam Illustrated by Ronald Balfour London Constable and Company Limited 1920 - New Edition 1930 unpaginated - 38 finely printed tipped in plates in colour and black & white, the monochrome plates very much echo the manner of Aubrey Beardsley

Sonofabitch this blows my mind! Seriously, I think this is a missing piece of a puzzle I had no idea that was missing to begin with. This helps me understand that I feel the loneliest when I'm deep in some feels I'm desperately trying to avoid feeling. Is this why grief or psychological pain makes me feel so lonely?! Well shit, I guess I can't ignore what I hear in the rooms all the time: "get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable." Fuck! Guess I got to get real.

There is wild beauty in this life on Earth and HOPE wherever you look for it.

— Oliver Jefferes

I read this and wonder why I keep trying to shove myself into societal boxes thinking it'll keep me safe. However, I am making progress becoming comfortable with others being uncomfortable with me embracing my complexity and thriving anyways. I can't be responsible for my courage holding up a mirror in the face of their fears and false sense of safety that conformity deceptively promises. My recovery is still painful because of the memories of being bullied for my queerness, but I'm also learning how to love and console that part of me in a way that wasn't available to me back then. Now, I need to keep building my self-esteem to have the courage to put myself out there to find and contribute to a supportive community IRL. Progress, not perfection. ❤️‍🔥

As much as I am a maximalist, I have a soft spot in my heart for minimalist line art.

artist: kit agar

Same.

if someone were to get me coffee from my favorite coffee shop and take me on a museum date and buy me a cute little gift shop souvenir and then give me flowers, i swear i would be yours forever

-Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country