esmeshardwoodfloors - Tumblr blog

esmeshardwoodfloors · 2 months

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 4 months

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Hey did you hear? There’s a Lego Cullen house in development

stop the fucking presses, it's TRUE!! this is extremely good news for my brother who once walked up to me, handed me a lego minifigure, and went "here, I made an edward cullen." I WILL be building this with him and I hope the actual set they develop keeps that giant tree outside the house so we can reenact Hold On Tight, Spider Monkey —G

Lego Ideas =/= what the actual product will look like when it goes to market, but here's what the winning Idea™ looks like:

#*heavy breathing*#I WANT THIS A NORMAL AMOUNT

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 5 months

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What joining the Twilight Renaissance on Tumblr feels like

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 5 months

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me calling Esme a milf when she's 5 years younger than I am 💀

#Esme Cullen #I mean I know she's over a hundred technically #and also fictional #but STILL #what I wouldn't give for smeyer to have actually let Carlisle and Esme just have been turned in their 40s/50s #it would have solved so many problems with their whole dumb 'family' cover story #curse smeyer for thinking anyone over the age of 30 is a decrepit old hag #I mean I am obviously #BUT STILL #Local Hag Still Kinda Into Twilight In Her Own Twilight Years #more news at 10

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 6 months

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Peter Facinelli as Carlisle Cullen Twilight [2008]

#Carlisle Cullen #stupid beautiful vampire man I hate him so much #sir that's my emotional support dilf cryptid

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 6 months

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#Aro Volturi #lmao fuck

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 6 months

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I take pride in being a girl that Edward would hate. Nothing beats knowing he would be disgusted by my mind

#lmao for real #head empty only vapid shallow lesbian thoughts sorry Ed #also I would be constantly thinking about how hot both his fake parents are sooo

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 6 months

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Esme’s Transformation in 1921

#Twilight #carlesme #Carlisle Cullen #Esme Cullen #mentally I am always here #hottest moment in the entire franchise and it's not even CLOSE lmao #this is somehow a sex scene don't @ me #I'm a simple bitch I see any variation of this scene I reblog it

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 7 months

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just...Edward resisting the lure of Bella's blood being such an obvious metaphor for the repression of sexual desire, and then you wonder why the girlies get obsessed with Carlisle Cullen, the handsome local doctor family man who has repressed his Dark Insatiable Hunger for over 300 years like come on

#Twilight #Carlisle Cullen #sir that's my emotional support dilf cryptid #there's a reason the queer babes flock to Carlisle esp #it's about the *chefs kiss* repression #the inherent guilt of your Shameful Desires #the fantasy of finding a gorgeous sexy wife who loves you unconditionally anyway #and a found family who love you and would do anything for you #anyway Carlisle and Esme fuck nasty thank you for coming to my TED talk

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 7 months

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twilight saga meme: [1/5] scenes → stitches

“Did you ever think of doing it the easy way?” “No. I knew who I wanted to be.”

#Carlisle Cullen #sir that's my emotional support dilf cryptid #he's so WEIRD I love him so much #strange little vampire freak #I'm sorry idk I hate to give smeyer credit for anything #but just the CONCEPT of Carlisle Cullen #vampire who wanted to be a doctor and help people so badly he overcame his own monumental thirst for blood #and then spends the rest of his immortal life trying to get other vampires to do the same #BUT #he never has the moral strength to like...DO anything about the other vampires #he even creates more himself #KNOWING the risks they pose to others #he's a doctor who saves lives #he's also personal friends with multiple mass murderers #he's a weirdo he's a freak he's a gigantic hypocrite he's a babygirl he's Trying His Best #it's about the unending search for atonement for sins he can't even fully accept responsibility for #it's about the REPRESSION #it's about being so alone that you turn to crafting others in your image #even though this existence isn't one you would have chosen for yourself #Carlisle as Pygmalion carving his perfect family from humanity's cast-offs #Carlisle the peacemaker #head of the second most powerful coven in the world #with friends and family all over the world who would go to war beside him #transforming the very nature of his species one vampire at a time #he knew who he wanted to be #but does he know what he became

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 7 months

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Scenery in Twilight (2008) dir. Catherine Hardwicke

#Twilight #pacific north west #take me thereeeeee #it's nearly October and it's still so disgustingly summer here #I want MIST and PINE TREES #I want RAIN

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 7 months

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Carlisle being an eye candy are backed by solid evidence lol

Stranger:

Edward:

Renée:

Charlie:

Bella:

#Carlisle is canonically the second hottest Cullen confirmed #I mean Rosalie obviously first

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 8 months

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society if Catherine Hardwicke had directed all five (5) of the twilight movies

#Twilight #my life would be better if it had the Blue Tint #we all know it

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 9 months

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he opens the door with his pinky. this is so cute to me. strong…..dainty……fancy …… a gentle doctor man……how many doors has he fucked up to get to this

#Carlisle Cullen #no sorry the idea of Dr Carlisle Cullen MD accidentally SMASHING THROUGH DOORS like the Kool-Aid man is SENDING me #how many jobs did he end up having to leave in a hurry because he accidentally fucked up the workplace Mr Incredible style #with his dumb vampire super strength #Twilight is a comedy actually

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 11 months

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𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔰𝔞𝔤𝔞 𝔟𝔞𝔯𝔟𝔦𝔢 𝔡𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔰

#fuck...I want...the Carlisle and Esme ones...#someone euthanise me immediately for my own good

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 1 year

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Can you expand your thoughts on Renesmee pls? Is she good or bad, and should her family fear her? Is her gift more sinister that it appears to be? And what about her and Jacob *shuders*

My initial thoughts on Renesmée and hybrids in general

Oof, you pressed my word vomit button with that ask.

So to start with her gift, oh definitely yes. To list our points of evidence that Renesmée’s gift is not just showing people cat photos:

Bella was adamant she did not want kids. She gets pregnant, suddenly she’s having a baby or so help her God, even as that child kills her from the inside out. (If it were just Bella it would be a different matter. Bella remains terrified of Edward leaving her after NM, and having his child would ensure she would always have a piece of him. And she’s very big on martyring herself. But it’s not just Bella, and therefore I’m listing her behavior as proof something’s up)

Edward wanted Renesmée aborted. As far as he was concerned, that was demon spawn he’d inflicted upon Bella, and now his cherished fragile human was being slowly yet brutally murdered in front of his eyes. Yet the second Renesmée’s able to interact with him, he pulls a full 180 and becomes a loving father. Even after she’s been born and does hellspawn-y things like biting her dying mother, biting Jacob, biting everybody, and complaining she can’t have that sweet human blood, Edward remains so impressed with her that she’s his proof vampires can have souls after all. Even Carlisle couldn’t convince him of that.

We get to see it happen in real time with Jacob. He was going to kill Renesmée, then he makes eye contact and 180′s so hard, he becomes her slave. I don’t think he imprinted, I think Renesmée’s gift mindwhammied him into thinking he did. It was survival on her part, so even if she did it on purpose I can’t blame her, but she did go harder on him than she did anybody else. And honestly, this is an unpopular opinion of mine, but- Jake tried to kill a baby. Becoming bound to her feels to me like that kind of fairytale justice where one of the princes missteps, and now he’s cursed forever.

Carlisle invites all his friends over to come help him protect Renesmée, putting them all at risk. I strongly suspect that if Renesmée hadn’t been working on him he simply would have taken the next flight to Volterra with her, and if they died then they died. No one else would have been in danger.

All of the witnesses who allow Renesmée to touch them are instantly enamored with her.

(As an extension of the above: Aro comes into contact with her as well and would be affected by it, but I don’t think the gift needed to do much with him, nor would it have been wise. If Aro had suddenly gone “I love this child, sorry Jane but I have a new daughter now” her gift would have become too obvious. He was also pretty clearly set on preventing bloodshed that day, so there wasn’t really a need(I know this is a statement that may make people go “Huh?” but just trust me on this one until the day I make a post))

There’s this natural assumption that the images Renesmée shows are truthful. She shows the witnesses and Aro her life story, and there’s not even a question of “how will they know she’s not lying?” making me suspect that what Renesmée shows you feels so true, oh of course her life story is like this. Which is rather different from simply showing her thoughts. I can easily think “I’m a pink elephant!” to myself, the problem is if me thinking that makes other people go “oh, of course, @therealvinelle is a pink elephant!”

In short, Renesmée’s gift I think is to make people see her way of seeing things, forcibly if need be, and to be loved beyond reason.

Again in her defense here, Renesmée’s life was a struggle for survival even before she was born. If she hadn’t had this gift, either Edward or Jacob would have killed her, assuming Bella didn’t simply abort her right away. So who knows, maybe her gift is this because it had to be.

So, do I think Renesmée is good or bad?

This brings into question the matter of good and evil.

For starters, I think regular human moralities have to be put aside when we’re dealing with vampires. These people either eat humans or the regular, or they eat humans and go “oopsie!” And vampires at least used to be human, but Renesmée, more than anybody else in the series, is something very alien. She is not human, never has been, and she will never understand humanity. And we in turn will never understand her.

She is so utterly removed from us humans, that she can’t really be judged according to our standards.

And what is there to judge?

We all get bad vibes from her. She’s a creepy kid.

However, throughout Breaking Dawn, her actions are driven by primal instincts and the need to survive. She bites everybody, including her dying mother, because she’s a maneating creature who needs blood to sustain herself. She uses her gift on everybody, none more so than the shapeshifter who would otherwise have killed her, because if she doesn’t then she’ll die.

It’s incredibly off-putting to us humans, especially since she does all this while passing herself off as a sweet little girl. But we can’t judge her by the same standards that we would an actual little girl, because this girl is something else entirely.

So in summation, Renesmée is dangerous and definitely terrifying, but is she bad? No, I don’t think so. Just alien.

#Twilight meta #Renesmee #oooh

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esmeshardwoodfloors · 2 years

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Carlisle @ every vampire he meets:

#Carlisle Cullen #he's right and he should say it #like Carlisle is such a terrible person in some ways but he's also so fascinating to me #there's something really interesting and deeply morally grey in his whole existence #the fact that he won't kill innocent people himself #but he does NOTHING #(bar some feeble and unsuccessful attempts at persuasion)#to prevent other vampires from doing so #on a MASSIVE scale #vampires he still calls friends #almost everyone Carlisle Cullen knows socially is a mass murderer #and the thing is! he knows this!#and he has the power to stop it!#there is very little to stop him from exposing all of vampire-kind to the humans in order to stop the slaughter #and you could make a strong argument that it's the moral thing to do #but Carlisle himself doesn't seem to have even seriously considered it #true perhaps the Volturi would find out somehow and kill him before he could prove the threat to the authorities #but he doesn't even *try*#for all his 'compassion' Carlisle in practice prioritises his own life and the lives of vampires in general over humans time and time again #anyway the fact that Carlisle's character and his story are a million times more interesting than Edward and Bella #is a source of endless frustration to me lol

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