my mom just picked up my brother and my dads been out of the house all day so i’m home alone now

i just fell asleep for exactly an hour on my bathroom floor huh

core memory of having to read this book in elementary school when the main character tried to kill himself and being like huh i didn’t know that u could do that and then thinking abt that everyday multiple times for weeks wondering if i could do the same and core memory of being in elementary school and having my best friend / bully threaten me when i upset her by saying “i can kill u with my thumb” which i wasn’t gullible enough to actually believe but i didn’t want to risk it yk bcs she did mean that for me to take it genuinely until i started trying to provoke her sometimes hoping she would try just in case and core memory of in elementary school my mom breaking down in front of me right before she got divorced with my dad crying abt how she wanted to die and screaming at me and slamming her head onto the ground until it started bleeding and siting there quiet unsure whether telling her would make her feel better of worse

i will die without routine. also this routine is killing me

everytime i listen to alex g it makes me soooo nostalgic for this like one month ish of seventh grade

it was a very weird time looking back bcs i spent a week thinking i wasn’t real and then when i realized i wasn’t decided on a suicide date that would be least inconvenient and spent a week not caring abt anything bcs of that and then spent the next week also thinking i wasn’t real and then spent the next week not caring abt anything for the reason above

lol it sounds fun it really really was not though actually

after what happened in like october of seventh grade i came to the conclusion that thinking i wasn’t real was better than experiencing life believing i was (genuinely don’t know if this is true) and i even tried to convince myself i wasn’t real sometimes bcs it was too much but i didn’t want to impulsively kms then bcs it’d be an inconvenient time

it was nice thinking that what i did really didn’t matter but it was not very nice believing that nothing even remotely good or even just important actually existed or going days without sleeping and eating and doing schoolwork or doing really impulsive or dangerous shit to myself to see if anything would happen or seeing things so differently i’d get nauseous or getting extremely paranoid that everyone was out to kill me or smthing along those lines so trying to act normal despite viewing my own friends and family that way or forgetting how to do really basic stuff like stand up or blink and trying to figure that out or the memory blanks or the crash that always came after all of that

i remember feeling so crazy in fifth and sixth grade when that happened the first few times lol itsss probably normal idk

eventually though i just gave up hope on that doing anything either and realized i should probably get my shit together before i upset more ppl by acting “off”

weird year anyways i think abt this too often for smthing that’s so irrelevant anyways alex g is very good

Queer kids cartoons are so cool I wish gay people were real

i walked into my (divorced) moms bedroom to find my cat with his paw on my moms hand

to which i said “aw ur holding hands”

and my mom replies “ofc we r hes my husband”

i asked her if her 10 years ago would be expecting to have a cat as her husband and she said

“he’s better than any guy to be fair

he’s not a misogynist, he doesn’t argue, and he’s cuter than any man could ever be”

i walked into my (divorced) moms bedroom to find my cat with his paw on my moms hand

to which i said “aw ur holding hands”

and my mom replies “ofc we r hes my husband”

i asked her if her 10 years ago would be expecting to have a cat as her husband and she said

“he’s better than any guy to be fair

he’s not a misogynist, he doesn’t argue, and he’s cuter than any man could ever be”

why is it that everytime i get a second of free time my brain needs to start imagining the most violent and graphic ways i could kill myself like literally those r physically impossible wtf r u talking abt

Why do they keep doing this to her... let Amity have her storybook protagonist moment!!!!

Shmebulock gets me

i just spilled monster all. over. me. ew

oh that same teacher was talking to this boy and girl near me and was saying that they should “smile if they like eachother” and they were both obviously uncomfortable and the girl was like “stop you’re being gross, boys and girls can be friends” and he was like “relax i’m just joking”

my fucking god

in ela my teacher is showing us a movie and he said that he had some comic strips to color if anyone wanted to (to put earth day facts on)

and obviously no one wanted the extra work

so then he came up to me and put his hand my my shoulder and ask me to do them bcs i had “artistic skills”

which as soon as he said that i knew what was coming bcs apparently no one can be normal abt anything ever

and one of the kids in front me said “more like autistic skills”

and they haven’t stopped making autism jokes sense

and also my teacher held me by my arm while showing me where the coloring supplies were which like ew ms now i need to do this fucking comic

Day 1068 of Amphibia Screenshots

Episode: Battle of the Bands

NEW DANA ART ON W&D'S ANNIVERSARY!!!

hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz vhunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz hunter and luz