BIRDS OF PARADISE (2021)

You said all you want for valentines is a Wednesday to your Enid. Well, are you taking applications? /jk

Yes lol!

BRIGHT STAR (2009) dir. Jane Campion

~Source Pinterest~

Okay but if Chappell Roan and Conan Gray sang a duet together? 😱

It really sucks being a bi girl when the only men you’re attracted to are queer men. 🙄 I can’t date gay men because they don’t like women and I can’t meet any bi men.

This post is going to get a little bit personal.

For six years, I’ve tried to figure out “what my sexuality is.” My ocd brain that struggles to let go of anything has plagued me for so long and made me feel like I had to have an “answer.” I felt I had to have a specific label that fit who I was because I felt like without it, I would be lost and confused. What I’ve realized though is trying to shrink myself to fit into a neat and tidy box is just not working for me. Feelings and emotions and desires are very complex and I’ve finally decided to listen to all those people who tried to tell me it was okay to not have a specific label and to just use whatever I felt comfortable with. I’ve decided that the ones that fit best for me right now are bi and queer. Queer in particular really resonates with me. I feel like it captures the intangible, fluid nature of how I feel about other people and who I love. It’s a word with a history that I’m aware some people find problematic because it has been used as a slur. I realize older generations may not feel comfortable with this word because of that and no one should feel they need to use a word if it makes them uncomfortable. That said, I have been exposed to this word by the people of my own generation, and I have felt the power that using such a word positively wields. It’s why I’ve decided to claim it for my own. It makes me feel free. I feel like I’m finally allowing myself the space to breathe.

Omar and Edvin

Via Instagram

“I like being close to you,” I murmured sidling closer on the sofa next to her. Our arms brushed against each other and I leaned over to look at the pages of the newspaper spread out in front of her. She was looking at the cartoons. I was looking at her, studying the profile of her face and the way her hair was tucked behind her ear, pulled back. It felt so right. All of it felt so right. I wanted more but I was powerless to voice those desires. They remained lodged in my throat, unspoken. There were too many people around, and she was too afraid. For the first time I truly knew what it was to want to touch someone so desperately, but worry what other people would think if I did. I wanted to touch her hand the way I had yesterday. I wanted her to lay her head in my lap and let me run my fingers through the silk of her hair. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and feel her body close against mine. But she didn’t look at me. She just looked at the paper. I wanted her to look at me.

Until further notice my heart belongs to Edvin Ryding.

Edvin Ryding

Our boys 💜

director: “as soon as i saw them together i knew it was them” 😭😭😭😭😭

Omar and Edvin