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Mid-Life Crisis
Been on this hell app for far too long. I consume too much content. 27 years old and she/they. 18+ only please
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"It seemed to roar from thirty years of frustration, confusion, denial, love, yearning...yearning for what? An anchor. A harbor. A sense of safety. A sense of identity. Yes, I can relate. Yes, this is terrain I know well. I felt Batman rising from deep within." -"Finding Batman" by Kevin Conroy (from DC Pride 2022)
In memory of Kevin Conroy, I'm reposting his story in his own words. We were so lucky to have Kevin share a piece of his soul with us through playing Batman for over thirty years, and his loss is heartbreaking for an entire generation who grew up with him as our Batman. I'm incredibly grateful to have lived in a world where he got the opportunity to play that role for us for so long and in so many different productions. RIP to a good man, a legend, and one of the most iconic voice actors of all time.
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I am. So fucking tired of Batman being portrayed as a bad parent and a toxic person. And it’s so goddamn widespread. Fuck, it might be as bad as the whole “Superman being a kindhearted Boy Scout is boring” take.
I get it, the man’s not exactly stable, he watched his parents get murdered in front of him and spent years of his life training to fight crime dressed like a giant scary bat, of course he’s not perfect.
But to say that Bruce Wayne isn’t caring, isn’t empathetic, to call him abusive…it just misses the point of who the character is to me.
Why do you think he fights crime? Yes, part of it is because he’s bitter and sad because his parents were cruelly ripped from him as a child, and he’s lashing out against the corruption of his city. It’s arguably the focus of his earlier years. But he learns to become more than that. He learns to bring hope, a chance to be better.
Harleen Quinzel is the Joker’s right hand lady, but she’s also a victim of an abusive relationship and a woman with a surprisingly strong moral compass and a love for animals, and wants to get better.
Harvey Dent is a man who will decide someone’s fate on a coin toss(and a pretty inaccurate depiction of DID), but he’s also Bruce’s close friend who clearly needs help learning to live with his condition, rather than try to get rid of it, and someone who he still goes out of his way to visit, even after everything.
Victor Fries is a cold, emotionless man who will callously discard allies and blame them for being careless, but he’s also a man who’s either lashing out because he had the love of his life taken from him, or just desperate to make sure she isn’t taken from him, and is willing to do anything just to guarantee her survival.
Even the Joker, arguably one of the most morally bankrupt characters in all of fiction, is someone that Batman has offered a chance to. After the guy shoots the daughter of his friend, a girl he cared for like she was his own kid, and paralyzes her from the waist down, he tells the Joker that he doesn’t want to hurt him. He wants to get him help. He looks at this monster who has taken countless lives and says “You don’t have to be alone.”
For fuck’s sake, he sat with Joe Chill in his last moments so that he wouldn’t be alone. Joe Chill, the man who murdered his parents, who took so much from him, the person responsible for all of the misery and suffering he’s gone through. And he sits with the man to comfort him while dies.
And you’re gonna tell me the man who did that would abuse his kids?
That he’d hold up the young man whose death was his greatest failure, the boy he grieved, and say this?
That he’d look his goddamn son in the eyes and say this to him?
Why the FUCK do you think he took in Dick Grayson in the first place? It wasn’t because he saw the kid and thought “Ah. A potential soldier.”, it was because he saw a boy experiencing the same heartbreaking loss he had so many years ago, and wanted to make sure he didn’t end up as bitter and miserable as he was.
Why do you think he smiled when Tim Drake presented him a broken watch for Father’s Day? Because he was just happy to see the boy alive and safe.
DAMIAN LITERALLY POINTED AT A COW AND SAID “I’m keeping her. She’s Bat-Cow.” AND BRUCE JUST WENT WITH IT. DIDN’T EVEN NEED TO ARGUE WHY BRUCE SHOULD LET HIM KEEP HER. HE SAID “this cow is my pet now” AND BRUCE SAID “alright, bet”.
The thing about Batman is that he wants to make sure nobody else ends up feeling the way he does. That’s not just about stopping a mugger so a boy’s parents aren’t gunned down. It’s about giving his loved ones the support and care that he couldn’t have, because it was taken from him. It’s about comforting someone who just went through a traumatic experience and letting them know that they’re going to be okay. It’s about going to someone locked away in a cell who thinks that they’re a lost cause and a burden to society and telling them that he wants to help them get better. It’s about EMPATHY.
That’s what makes him a HERO. He’s meant to inspire us, to show us that we can have that same empathy for others around us, that we can turn our suffering into hope for a better future.
I just wish more people at DC would start recognizing that. But I might as well follow that example myself. Maybe through this struggle of having to see this hero mistreat the people around him and act like a grade-A jackass, people will start to recognize that missing empathy, and slowly but surely, it might come back. After all, what is this post, if not trying to bring attention to the matter in the hopes of fixing it?
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the entire ripley fight is SO good and there's too many good moments to talk about them all but vox machina collectively joining forces to kill ripley truly is the most insane scene of the episode and 1 of the best vox machina moments ever in MY humble opinion.
like "everyone gather around her. we are gonna fucking kill her together. everyone ready? for percy." but ALSO "this is percy killing you. not us." yeahhh honoring percy's death by finishing off the person who killed him but also recognizing that it SHOULD be percy to kill her. and the fact that he is not is wrong and horrifying. and she needs to know that this IS percy. that their shared combined anger and cruelty comes together to honor percy's will. they wield the weapons but percy is the true final executioner.
and i'm just continuously fascinated by how fucking CRUEL they were... the way they all just take and carve out pieces of her. the way they are not content with simply killing her: they have to watch her suffer. together. the way they are not satisfied with merely one of them dealing the finishing blow. they all have to all participate in this bloodshed. together. because she took percival from them. and that is unforgivable.
the fact that percival, knowing that this might be his end and being ready to finally face the consequences of his actions, grants her his forgiveness. and he recognizes that ultimately he's not killing her for satisfaction. he's not doing this to avenge his family and scratch the itch inside his bones that always seems to want to take more. not this time.
he's not the same percival he was when he faced the briarwoods... he's no longer consumed by that soul crushing anger and grief and he has a new family now (one that he loves and that loves him back). and he's a different man. perhaps not a better one yet. but different. or at the very least he WANTS to be. so he forgives her. because he knows that is the only way forward.
he's no longer doing this for himself. he's doing this because he knows this is what's best for the world. because he knows she's far too danger to walk freely (as he's far too danger to walk freely) so he has to end this. and mostly he's doing this for all the innocent people that she has hurt and all the innocent people she will certainly continue to hurt if she lives. he makes the noble choice, the righteous choice this time.
but vox machina? oh no. vox machina are doing this entirely for percy. she took percy away from them, so now she has to suffer. she took percival away from them, so now they'll take little pieces of her as retribution. they will watch as she squirms in pain and chokes on her own blood.
and in that final moment ripley dies, not because of who she is and the danger she poses, but because she killed their friend. she dies, not because this is the right thing to do, but because vox machina love percy. and they have lost him. and they are all so consumed by this soul crushing anger and grief. they no longer care about doing the right thing, only about making her pay.
vax sinks his daggers into her shoulder and rips her fake arm off her body with all of his hatred, scanlan viciously carves the "de rolo" crest in her forehead with all the calculated cruelty of a friend in mourning, grog swings his axe to cut her in half with all his mighty anger as keyleth weaponizes the nature that she loves so very dearly to choke ripley with a grasping vine, and vex, broken and in love, shoots her through the heart in one devastating poetic final blow and watches as ripley chokes in her own blood and silent screams.
they watch the life drain from her body and the light fade from her piercing eyes as they tear her apart, little by little, slow bit by slow painful bit, and with every blow, every stab, every wound they say: "we love you percy and this is for you."
this is vox machina's love letter to percival. and it is covered in blood.
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Hi, Clair. I’d like to come in and talk with you. Would that be all right?
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You are a supervillain who has just captured your rival’s child. Rather than being afraid, they’re begging you to let them stay.
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It’s INSANE to me how controversial romance novels are. Romance novels. Like, being openly a fan of them immediately opens you up to people constantly coming at you like “but don’t you think it’s ~limiting- and ~juvenile~ to have a genre of books with happy endings for women?”
Like.
No?
Why is it such a big deal to want to read stories where women have sex and then don’t die at the end? Jesus Christ.
Why is the concept of female characters being happy seen as less creative than female characters suffering? (Trust me, creating a world where women win in the end takes a lot more creativity and artistic vision lmfao)
Anyway, literary bros will pry my romance novels with their happy endings from my cold dead fingers.
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Guys…… I think the legend of vox machina is scripted :///
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RIIVETRASH’S MASTERLIST
Hi guys! I’m making this list so that my fics will be accessible while using the app too. This post will be updated as fics get posted.
Rating is as follows:
🤍 = General
🧡 = Mature
🖤 = Explicit
You can also find my AO3 here!
SAY IT TOO - Chapter 1 (3.3k) / Chapter 2 (3.6k) 🖤
As a bet, the new recruits spike Captain Levi’s drink. Petra takes him back to his room, or at least attempts to as Levi is determined to get a confession out of her one way or another.
LIKE INK TAKES TO PAPER (1.4k) 🤍
When Petra sees her father approaching Captain Levi, letter in hand, she almost wishes she’d never made it back from outside the walls.
EMPTY LIK A MEADOW (1k) 🧡
He finds her body planted there, leaned against a tree like flowers against a gravestone, with her eyes staring up blankly as if she were expecting him.
ADVENTUROUS SPIRIT (2.1k) 🖤
They should theoretically be listening to what Erwin is saying. This is important. Maybe just not as important as Levi’s burning stare and Petra’s boot digging into his thigh.
YOURS (2.6k) 🖤
He sees him lean down towards her face, trapped between him and the table. Levi thinks he might throw up.
SADDLE UP (1.5k) 🖤
With some of the horses gone missing or dead, Petra is forced to hitch a ride with Levi.
HIDE & SEEK (1.2k) 🖤
Petra pulls him behind the abandoned house, pressing her body against his as they kiss. Levi really doesn’t have the time for all this sneaking around right now.
WINE STAINED LIPS (2.7k) 🖤
Wasting such good bottles would be such a shame, that’s what Petra tells herself. She wasn’t looking to compete in a drinking competition however.
BLUE DRESS (6.2k) 🖤
He hates being at galas and fundraiser. Most of the time, nobles and merchants belittle him under the guise of praise. Thankfully, Petra proves to be a worthy distraction.
MARTYR (1.3k) 🧡
When he sees her transform at the harbor to protect them, all he can see is how she’s slaughtered so many of his friends. He’s going to tear her apart as soon as he has the chance.
I HEARD YOU (1.5k) 🖤
She really should be more careful about marking what area she’s cleaned so she won’t slip and drench herself with her own bucket. Not that Levi is in a mood to complain about the sight. Cleaning can wait.
MISSING PIECE (2.1k) 🤍
Everyone knows they love each other, except for them.
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Her tune
When Petra dusted off a room in the Survey Corps Headquarters, she used to sing the same melodious tune from her favorite song as she carried out her task. Levi often made sure to find himself cleaning the same room she was tidying or the one next door, just to listen to her beautiful, crystal-clear voice.
Back to Wall Rose after he lost his squad during the failed 57th expedition, he was alone, doing the regular dusting of the Headquarters when he felt the heavy and unusual silence around him. It was then that he remembered her song and began to hum it unconsciously. He had memorized the tune from hearing it every day and his heart sank when he realized it. Immediately, he felt such an intense pain in his chest, that he let go of his broom. Levi figured out then that he needed some fresh air. Otherwise, he was going to suffocate. Quickly grabbing his ODM gear, he headed to the nearby forest, soaring into the air by shoting his hooks to the trunks of the trees and propelling himself as he progressed in his ascent to the highest branches. Yes...that was what he needed. The wind was lashing his face and he was already feeling a little better. He landed on a large branch 20 yards off the ground.
They are all gone.
He had lost so many comrades, but each time, he'd managed to control himself. But them... But her....
He crouched down and felt tears well in his eyes, slowly running down his cheeks. It had been a long time since he had shed any.
She's gone and he'll never hear her voice singing her tune anymore.
Author's note :
This one is my first Rivetra headcanon ever. I got inspired by the music composed by Robert Schumann : Hör' ich das Liedchen klingen (Eng : When I hear the song) song for voice & piano (Dichterliebe), Op. 48 No. 10, in 1840, from the poem by Heinrich Heine (1798-1856). It was originally written in german but here's an english translation of it :
"When I Hear the Song"
When I hear the little song
That my love once sang,
My heart almost bursts
With the wild rush of pain.
A dark longing drives me
Out to the wooded heights,
Where my overwhelming grief
Dissolves in tears.
Here's also a link to my fav version of the music, in case you're interested– the violin really made it perfect. https://youtu.be/tBEMkNEyKzo
PS : Don't look at the dude while listening to it lol. Just close your eyes and imagine...well, you know what you have to imagine :'-)
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fuck can you imagine being cassandra de rolo. your nerdiest brother is the only other one who survives the massacre of your family and he manages to escape the clutches of the murderers, leaving you behind and presuming you dead. years later, he comes back, his hair is completely white, hes carrying a weapon nobodys even seen before, hes host to a demon?? not only can he now hold a conversation with a woman, his three besties are all hot powerful magic ladies. you thought he hated magic. he still does but he can do some now. he kills monsters for a living. hes so hardened by his trauma you can barely recognize him. hes come back, but has he really? is this insane version of your brother just a ghost whos come to torment you in your inescapable loneliness? he wasnt even one of your favorite brothers. he has an earring now
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LYANNA STARK APPRECIATION WEEK:
Day 2 → Personality traits: Wisdom
“Robert will never keep to one bed,” Lyanna had told him at Winterfell, on the night long ago when their father had promised her hand to the young Lord of Storm’s End. “I hear he has gotten a child on some girl in the Vale.” Ned had held the babe in his arms; he could scarcely deny her, nor would he lie to his sister, but he had assured her that what Robert did before their betrothal was of no matter, that he was a good man and true who would love her with all his heart. Lyanna had only smiled. “Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man’s nature.”
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Stark Children ~ A Song of Ice & Fire
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(kind of a redraw of my old Stark Family fanart, but without Cat & Ned….)
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