elliesexual - Tumblr blog

elliesexual · 3 days

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Hearts Over Hierarchy

Loser!Ellie x Popular!Reader

Do opposites really attract?

Summery : When you run into a girl who rarely makes acknowledgment she even exists, there’s something that undoubtedly draws you to her..and a spark is created.

Warnings -> / Weed usage / Reader is confused about her feelings? / Ellie’s also confused about her feelings (ig?) / Just full loser Ellie / Really brief Skater!Ellie / eventual smut (probably) / fluff / tension / Little bits of smau / Toxic friendship / (Lmk if I missed anything else!)

WC: 4.8k (longest fic i’ve ever wrote!)

(Not proofread!)

DAILY CLICK 🇵🇸 - (takes like 2 seconds 🩷)

(Ellie)

The loud buzzing of Ellie’s alarm shoots her eyes open and her body halfway up. “F-fuck” She grumbles under her muffled voice. Running her right hand down her face.

Ellie grabs the alarm rested on her left bedside table and she’s finally met with the time 9:36am. “Oh fuck” Ellie says quickly stands up out of her single bed, planted in the corner of her single bedroom dorm. Classes start at 9:45. She has a total of 9 minutes to get dressed, leave her dorm, and run onto campus. Which has her leading to the fact there’s almost 0 fucking way she’s making it on time.

Since Ellie’s already up and out of her bed she runs to her dresser to throw on a pair of boxers and a sports bra which is almost instantly covered by “clean” sweat pants and a nike hoodie. It didn’t smell bad so it was fine!

4 minutes, it only took Ellie 4 minutes to get changed and grabbed her skateboard. She also glances over at the time as it now reads now reads 9:40. So this means her time isn’t “horrible” I mean getting ready in 4 minutes is sorta impressive, at least in her mind? Plus campus shouldn’t take that long, as long as she’s fast.

Ellie grabs her skateboard and leaves her dorm quickly running down the stairs, having basically 0 time to wait around and sit there like a duck for the elevator. And as soon as she’s met with concrete she’s off.

The reason why Ellie being late is such a fucking hassle is because she’s already been late a fair share of times building a reputation for it, when she walks into class and shit it doesn’t go without dirty looks. But it’s a new school year, so she’s tryna live by the corny ass saying “new year new me!” and actually not miss half the classes like last term.

(You)

You’re up early, 8:00 to be exact. You quietly leave your bedroom trying not to wake up the rest of your sorority sisters as you tiptoe through the halls. And just as you thought you were clear, a pair of blue eyes are met with yours.

Emily your best friend since freshman year. You two were like glue through high school, nothing could separate the two of you, sure you had fights and disagreements but nothing seemed like it could break the bond between you two..

As you meet her blue eyes you quickly notice her lips turning into a light smirk. “Why the fuck are you tiptoeing like we’re in a fucking Tom and Jerry episode?” You let out a pity laugh and smile “Oh ha ha…! Maybe because i’m nice and I didn’t wanna wake up all you guys?”

Emily smiles right back at you. “Why are you up so fucking early, thought your class started at 9:45?” You nod your head agreeing with her statement. “It does. I just wanted to be on top of it you know!” Emily shakes her head. “No I don’t fucking know? I don’t wake up a full hour and 45 minutes before my classes.”

You smile, you could ask her why she’s up but you already know her class starts at 8:30 (ew.) so going through more questions seems unethical. “Well!” You trail off then pick back up where you ended. “I need to have a shower sooo” Emily nods and goes back to her room “Yeah yeah!”

꧁✵★✵꧂

The steam fills your bathroom and the air is still warm from your lingering shower.

It was weird today. You don’t usually feel nervous for school, I mean you knew people, people knew you. There was literally nothing for you to feel even the slightest bit of tenseness. Yet it was still just there.?

Your just blaming it on basic nerves, you’re not really “excited” to get back into the grove of school, get a ton of work in before due dates which are are way to fucking fast. But either way you knew you had to suck it up so you pushed yourself out those doors and into your car.

Right on time 9:30. It should only take 10 minutes to drive onto campus and that leaves you with about 5 minutes before the lecture starts. At least that’s what you fucking planned.

But just to your luck. There was an incident, nothing serious. Just ending up backing up the roads. And any fucking other day you wouldn’t have really cared. But you really could not afford to be late on your first day back. You wanted to make sure you’re on top of everything, and the walk of shame into the classroom is probably one of the worst things person could every fucking experience.

Once you make it on campus you speed walk through the halls cutting through people just trying to get to your door. Then everything will be fine and normal, you won’t have to worry about how stup-

A hard thud goes straight into your back

You heard about 3 things fall flat on the ground none of the things being yours. And as shitty as it seems, you were genuinely considering walking away just to get to fucking class..

You’re not a complete dick and you were raised better. So this leads you to reluctantly turn around and your met with? Well you don’t exactly know, she looks familiar but maybe she’s a year younger so you don’t often see her. She has brunet- no, auburn hair, green eyes, and freckles that go all around her face. She looks familiar but you can’t put your finger on it.

You look down and notice a binder, a now slightly cracked phone and skateboard which finally you make the decision to crouch down. The auburn hair girl is mumbling a bunch of sorry’s “F-fuck that’s on me. I-i’m like super late? So I was looking down and sh-“ You cut her off and shake your head picking up her phone and binder as she picks up her skateboard. “You’re good..Fuck I’m late too.” You chuckle looking at her as you stand up, quickly handing her the items she dropped on the ground.

You give out your hand to shake “I’m-“ and as your about to say your name, you’re cut off by her voice “N-no I know you, you sat in front of me last term” You don’t know what really led you to say the next part but what else were you going to say?? You didn’t notice her once, lying seemed like a better approach. “Right! Um what was it…A- no H?” You notices how her eyebrows furrow, the fact you definitely don’t know her name is becoming apparent.

“I-uh Ellie” She shakes your hand.

“Yeah! I was getting there!” You smile looking back at her before talking again.

“We’re you?” She tilts her head talking in a tone laced with a joking sound..just from her demeanour alone you can tell she was kidding.

“I was..” You shift your gaze down to her lips then back up. You weren’t trying to be weird or anything, you just did it on instinct which now on the contrary seems a tad bit creepy since this is literally your first time even talking to her.

Once you meet her eyes again you nervously cleared your throat and starting talking once again. “Well what room are you!”

Ellie notices the quick change of subject and she nervously shakes her head “U-uhh fuck 217 I think…?” You nod and look at her “Fuck, okay shit me too?” Your voice stops then picks back up “Want to walk?”

Ellie perks up and nods. It kept playing in the back of her mind why the fuck you were talking to her. Ellie wasn’t popular, not your level of popularity. Everyone knew you. So the fact you were standing in front of her, talking to her. She was almost confused. Yet she wasn’t complaining..

It only took a few minutes before you reached the classroom door, as you check your phone you see you’re a bit late. Nothing to complain about, it’s only 9:47 so who cares..?

When opening the doors your eyes lock with the seats in the back left corner, there open, and no one is sitting in them. You look at Ellie who seems nervous.

Little do you know in her mind she’s wondering where the fuck she’s going to sit.

The only single seats are in the middle of like 5 fucking people.

Once you notices her eyes are scanning the room and her whole face is plastered with a nervous expression you nudge her lightly.

“Wanna sit over there” You point your finger and her eyes quickly follow it.

She seems confused. Like her brain just did a 360 but she stutters over her words when talking back to you. “Y-you wanna s-sit together?”

“Yeah?” You smile and let out a chuckle.

“R-right! Yeah- Yeah we can sit over there.” She smiles and nods looking at you.

As you sit down your phone buzzes in your left pocket not wasting much time to pull it out. There’s one message Emily. Asking if you made it okay and stuff. Which leads to a mini conversation.

You couldn’t help but feel almost icked out? Emily’s not usually rude so her response was weird, and out of character. You wanted to believe maybe she was making a statement or something but you replied regardless.

She was being so strange, like not her usual self. Which lead your eyebrows to furrow and you were abo-

“You okay?” Ellie’s voice says softly probably noticing the fact your eyebrows are furrowed and your face now showing clear signs of annoyance.

“O-oh yeah!” you reply now embarrassed as you feel blood rush to your cheeks. “Just one of my friends, i’m good though!”

Ellie nods and smiles. “Okay, just wanted to make sure?”

You haven’t really met anyone like Ellie. I guess other then Emily? But it still took months to feel comfortable with her. With Ellie it seems almost easy? Like fast?

Your whole friend group is popular. Which wasn’t horrible? The benefits of being popular is nice? Sorta.. But unfortunately half of your “friend group” is fake.

Talking behind peoples back kinda fake.

You tried not to let it bug you though, you had people in your friend group you obviously loved, so you would just stick in that crowd.

But there was always some anxiety which came with it. Like you didn’t know if things you said would get passed around, so when talking to Ellie, knowing nothing had the chance of somehow going to anyone, else it was refreshing.

The class was finally fucking over and you packed up your laptop and papers.

As you were about to leave you said a quick bye to Ellie trying to be respectful. You didn’t wanna ask for her number because you didn’t want to come across as weird, you two just met? So that could wait?

As you turned around there was a quick “wait!” which was clearly from Ellie.

You just turned around trying to read her expression but as you were she cut off your train of thought. “C-can I uh get your number! I was thinking we could maybe study or something. This math s-shit is like kicking my ass” After her sentence there was a dry awkward chuckle. The fact you didn’t immediately respond worried her

Did she come off as weird?

To pushy?

You’re popular why the fuck-

“Yeah!” You smile walking back over to her.

“Are you busy right now? We can go back to my place and study if you want” You say not breaking eye contact.

Ellie quickly breaks the eye contact handing you her phone before she clears her throat. “W-no! no i’m not busy, right now is good actually” Her voice cracks in the middle of the sentence leading her to clear her throat once again.

You grab her slightly cracked phone and nod..

“K cool, it’s not a long drive and my cars out in the front lot.”

In a car

With you.

Great!

꧁✵★✵꧂

Saying the car ride is awkward is an understatement? Reason number one, you don’t know what to say because you literally just met Ellie.

I mean you’re alright on small talk but what the fuck do you say to someone you met a solid 2 hours ago?

And on the other hand Ellie is Ellie.

She can’t pick up on small talk for the life of her. So when you finally speak it almost feels like a blessing and a curse.

“Sorry about you phone?” You say, both hands still on the steering wheel as you drive.

“Huh?” Fuck this is awkward.

“Your phone, it’s cracked. Sorry?” You say a smile cracking.

“I ran head first into your bag I’m pretty sure that’s on me” Ellie chuckles looking at you as you drive.

“I guess, but maybe if I was walking faster it wouldn’t have happened!” You say glancing over at her before you turn your eyes back to the road.

Ellie’s face turns a light pink as soon as you made split eye contact with her. She’s silently now thanking ever fucking god in the universe that you turned your head before you could notice.

“Maybe but I think that was a sign I shouldn’t walk with my head down” Ellie let’s out a slight laugh.

The silence falls once again neither of you knowing what to says.

“D-“

“Sor-“

Both of speak at the same time a dry chuckle coming from both your lips.

“You go.” Ellie says nodding.

“I was just going to say sorry for not noticing you?” You say clearing your throat anxiously.

“What do you mean?” Ellie says tilting her head still looking at your side profile.

“Like- I sat in front of you for months you know?.. just the fact I didn’t noticed you makes me feel like an egotistical prick?” You say rubbing the back of your neck with your left hand.

Ellie shakes her head at your response. “No! Fuck I barley talked, trust me, you not noticing doesn’t make me have hard feelings” Ellie says quickly, she doesn’t want you to feel guilty for anything.

You just smile at her response and nod. “What we’re you going to say?” She quickly talks “Just gonna ask do you get what the fuck is going on in class”

You quickly laugh and shake your head “Fuck no! I’m actually so ass at math your gonna have to walk me through it.” Ellie smiles and nods. “What makes you think i’m gonna be good at it!” She says with a chuckle.

“Well you have to be good at it because we’re official study partners!” You say before nodding your head. “Official??” Ellie smiles

“Oh yeah, official” You nod and continue nervously. “We’re uh here!” You park the car in front of your sorority.

“I never been to a fucking sorority” Ellie says getting out of the car with her backpack in hand. “No?” You say looking at her. “Nah” She shakes her head “They feel cult-ish?” She laughs causing you to smile and look at her “So you’re joining my cult then?”

“Guess soo” She drags out her ‘so’ dramatically before walking to the two big white doors which leads into the sorority house.

You and Ellie studied for a few hours. Looking outside the sky was now dark. Rather then the bright blue it shined before.

You guys studying was basically just an excuse to talk, you got to know a lot about each other. Ellie opened up to you, you opened up to her.

You haven’t ever had a friendship where you got so comfortable so fast. It’s like the fact you guys met a solid few hours ago, it was completely disregarded. It’s like you connected so fucking fast.

You learned Ellie had two close friends Dina and Jesse. They didn’t go to the same school as you and her, instead they went to one about 30 minutes out. You “learned” she’s painfully shy, which you already got the message as soon as she ran into you.

She let it slip she actually debated talking to you last term but you seemed extremely intimidating which you laughed at. But she was standing her ground, saying like you gave off a bit of scary vibes.

“Okay scary?” You replied laughing

“Scary!” She says looking at you. Both of your guys studying papers are far from filled out, almost completely empty. But to be fair that’s the last thing on your mind.

“I need one fucking example from when I was being ‘scary’” You say defensively looking at her. The two of you are crisscrossed on your queen bed a bit to close considering how much space the both of you had. Both of your knees touching.

“K well- I don’t have a fucking time list of all the times I thought you seemed scary!” Ellie says shaking her head looking at you.

Your hand instinctively falls on her knee “I’m asking for ONE example!” You made sure to emphasize the word one. To point out it was really fucking easy.

Ellie’s whole face heats up and she feels like her body’s on fire causing her to stutter over almost ever other word “I-I d-don’t know l-like one t-time I heard you talking about h-how you were ‘gonna murder him’” She says chuckling to mask the nervousness that’s coursing through her veins.

You try to recall when you said this, it suddenly clicking “Okay wait! No there’s context!” You chuckle and now both of you are closer. It’s like each time a sentence is said, you’re moving further in.

“What fucking context could there be!” Ellie spits out laughing, which causes you to laugh harder.

“I was talking about some dick who used one of my friends!” You laugh your head falling onto Ellie’s shoulder.

“I guess that’s fair?” Ellie’s voice gets quieter. You can her heart beat which to say it’s fast. That’s would be an understatement.

You pull your head off her shoulder and look at her. Her face is pretty pink and you feel like you can ever little detail that revolves around her face. One thing about seeing ever detail, it had a result of your faces being mere inches from each others.

You don’t even know what the fuck led you to do this but you slowly guided your left hand to cuff Ellie’s cheek which now has the both of you to instinctively lean in.

Ellie does the same, manly following your lead as her hand also goes onto your cheek and now your noses brush against each other.

And just as your lips were about to touch a knock hits right against your door.

You and Ellie both quickly flinch back clearing your throat nervously.

You get up faster then her and the person behind the door is no other then Emily. You hadn’t texted her since the whole weird ass messages she sent a few hours ago.

Ellie’s thoughts are now going all over the place. Because you two almost just kissed, a knock breaks it up..and now there’s a girl who in her mind, is way better looking!

Ellie doesn’t wanna think it, but the fact you might have a girlfriend is lurking in the back of her mind. She wouldn’t be surprised to say the least.

“Hey” Emily says eyeing Ellie who is now putting her papers back into her backpack nervously, her hands fumbling over each sheet..

“Hi..?” You say looking at Emily. She’s eyeing Ellie with a look you haven’t noticed before. And as you were going to say something along the lines of “Do you need something” but Emily’s voice talks over your thoughts.

“Can we talk” She says now meeting your eyes.

“I mean I have someone ove-“ But before you can finish your sentence Ellie intervenes. “It’s- It’s fine i’m heading out anyway. You know it’s dark..? So?”

“I- uh, alright. You want me to drive you?” You say looking at Ellie which she almost instantly shakes her head “I’m not tryna be a burden i’ll just skate back, my dorms on campus…so i’ll uh, i’ll be chill..” Ellie says grabbing her skateboard which was planted in your room. Right after Ellie grabs her skateboard she already is almost out of the door. But you quickly talk.

“Just text me when you get to your dorm, so I know you got back safe and shit.” You say softly.

And just like that she’s gone, and your standing awkwardly in a room with Emily. When the front door finally shuts she got the sudden urge to talk. “Ellie?”

You nod confused. “Uh- yeah..? We were just studying…”

Emily nods looking at you. “Why though?”

“Sorry..?” You say now even more confused then you were previously.

“Like why hang out with her?” Emily says looking at you.

You think she’s joking so you laugh sarcastically “Fuck off?”

“I’m being for real, Williams, she’s like weird dude... That’s literally all anyone talked about when she was in my class.” Emily now chuckles and you shake your head.

“She’s not even weird?” You say defensively. “Have you talked to her?”

Emily shakes her head fast “I don’t wanna fucking talk to her?? Like I said she’s weird.”

You’ve never seen Emily act so blatantly rude, like she had her own opinions but she knew whether or not she should announce them. Plus! She’s never even met Ellie yet she’s judging her so easily with no second thought. You tried to push it behind you, trying to end the conversation with a quick “I gotta go to bed so. We can talk later.”

Emily scoffs “Great! Now you’re fucking being weird!”

“Im not even being weird! You’re just being rude, i’m not gonna listen you talk shit about someone you haven’t even had a conversation with!”

Emily just shakes her head “I’m hardly talking shit shit. I’m just saying what I heard, fuck.” The fact she’s trying to justify her shitty behaviour and actions just makes you more annoyed.

“K great talk Emily. I gotta get sleep” You say before shutting the door with a hard slam as Emily gets out of your room.

It’s been a few weeks since that whole situation, Emily’s been okay? She apologized and shit but everything is still a bit tense?.. Like she lets out mini sighs when you say your going to hang out with Ellie.

You assumed this was because maybe she felt left out, but every time you even attempted to ask her she always shook her head and replied with “Eh sorta busy with homework”

So you dropped in, she was clearly going through some weird ass phase with you new friendship and you just wanted her to push through with it. You didn’t feel like guiding Emily through it all.

And then on the other hand

Ellie

neither of you mentioned what happened in your room that night, or what almost happened? It wasn’t relevant, some friends almost kiss! You two almost kissed…? And it was nothing important.

Not something to jeopardize your new friendship. So you dropped it. And you internally prayed she would too.

Ellie on the other hand. She was thinking about the moment constantly, like it was a virus infiltrating every single free fucking thought she had. She doesn’t know if the blue eyed girl was your girlfriend, but at the end of the day she didn’t wanna push the subject. You hadn’t talked about it so it wasn’t something she was willing to bring up. Seemed better to drop it!

And here you are, laying down on your bed extremely bored with nothing to fucking do. Your mind was just wondering, thinking about class, school, Elli-

There’s buzzing coming from your bedside table and you quickly grab you phone.

Ellie.

You laughed at your phone. Ellie’s jokes were actually so bad it made them funny. You kept texting her no plan of stopping, but then she tells you she has a little something!

You smile at her messages quickly following up by closing your phone. You didn’t waste time to grab you car keys quickly leaving your sorority house.

꧁✵★✵꧂

The car ride wasn’t all that bad, it was nice knowing that you’ll get to be with Ellie again. Plus it was literally only 10 minutes so when you get there you quickly park and rush to the campus dorms.

As you go into the building you take the left to the elevators, shortly entering before you click floor 2.

As it stops and the doors open and you lead yourself to Ellie’s dorm which you’ve now been in a few times.

After knocking it literally doesn’t take long before she answers..her hairs messy, a few strands down her face and she gives you a quick smile. One thing you instantly noticed was the strong scent of weed that exits her room. “You’ve been busy” you say sarcastically giving her a quick smile.

Her eyes are red and she’s clearly faded. “Soooo busy!” She says sarcastically before it’s followed by yet another smile.

You go into her room and sit on her little single bed that’s planted right in the corner of her bedroom.

She passes you an already lit joint which you take a drag from.

“I wanna ask you something?” Ellie says as she takes the joint back.

You nod letting out a short “hm?”

“You obviously don’t have to say yes” she starts dragging her words a mix of nervousness and being high.

“Okay..?” You say nodding, you don’t know what she’s gonna ask but either way you’re nervous.

“Jesse and Dina, they rent cabin every year. And like my not tryna really third wheel so I was wondering…if maybe like-?” Ellie says shifting her gaze down into her lap.

“When is it?” You ask looking at her.

Ellie’s almost surprised you didn’t immediately turn it down so she quickly clears her throat. “Fuck sorry- It’s in a week. You don’t have to com-“

“Yeah I’ll come?” You say, the high now finally clicking in. Ellie’s heart is skipping right now but she quickly pushes it down.

You two are fucking friends. Just friends.

“Sick. O-okay cool. I’ll just like text you everything you’ll need and shit. And it’s like an hour drive so me, you, Jesse and Dina can all just like fucking drive together.”

“Okay cool!” You smile.

You and Ellie. Are going to a cabin together.

Nothing to be nervous about…!

———————————————————

A/N -> Hii! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I already have a full plot layout for the second one.

This might only be two parts simply because I might be able to fit everything I want with enough detail in just a singular part.

I plan on adding some angst in the next chapter ☹️ (so ig be ready for that!)

I also wanna really emphasize Emily is not homophobic! 😭

I was reading some of this chapter and it sorta seemed implied she was at least a little homophobic, calling Ellie “Weird” and shit, but it’s not because Ellie gay! I’m pretty sure most people might be able to clue on why she’s not to fond of Reader and Ellie’s ‘friendship’ but that’ll be for the next chapter.

I hope you enjoyed!

Taglist : @bready101 @onlinelesbo @amberputh @seraphicsentences @a-little-bit-of-everybody @zoehxnji @cyb3rd0nguh @graviewaviee

#ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #loser!ellie #the last of us #ellie x y/n #loser ellie #elliewilliams #ellie williams smut #ellie tlou #ellie smut #lesbian

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elliesexual · 1 month

Note

Okay so kinda a old song butttt it’s my favorite can you do something with laugh it off by Chelsea jade it’s kinda a breakup song to me

Laugh it off - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon! Firstly the intro of this song is so fucking good, and also real! I thought it was a break up song too.... I hope you enjoy<3

This story is based off the song, Laugh it off by Chelsea Jade! If you can, please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel to send me one or a song and I'll take it from there:) Just a reminder that if you request something and you want something specific to happen you should indicate it in your request.

Warnings: meantions of cheating and sex

Summary: In which Ellie tries to fix your relationship after she was unfaithful

wc: ???

about me the request playlist

You're coming in hot, but not so bright

Making a meal of any appetite

Just take it easy

'Cause if I held you up against the light

I could see clear enough to cut right

To where you're weakest

"just take it easy" Ellie spoke to you as she reached across the table to grab your hand.

You felt a shiver run down the spine, at the small contact. You and Ellie have not touched each other for months, and you weren't going to lie, you've felt empty and cold without her.

Ellie hesitantly interlocked her fingers with yours. A surprised look overtook Ellies features.

You let her hold your hand? For the last 6 months you made her life a living hell, depriving her from touching your and finally, finally you let her touch you.

It's crazy to think that the person you once knew so well, became someone you don't recognize.

The Ellie sitting infront of you wasn't the girl you fell in love with two years ago. And the way you were acting right now wasn't the sweet girl Ellie met and once loved.

The Ellie you fell in love with would never cheat on you.

It's crazy to think the person you once knew from the inside out wanted nothing to do with you.

Ellie knew your hopes and dreams, she knew your fears and she knew what kept you up at night. But the person she was sitting across was not that person anymore.

You weren't the girl that used to scream everytime she saw a spider. You weren't the girl that looked at Ellie with so much love and care, now you stared at her with a cold and icy look. A look of hatred, and anger.

There was no love left in you.

You weren't Ellie's girl anymore and she realized she fucked up everything.

"So...." Ellie started.

The air surrounding you was tense, your hands were still interlocked. You felt Ellies hand became sweaty, you felt the table moving due to her leg bouncing up and down.

She was nervous.

The future of your relationship depends on what you had to say. Ellie couldn't take the suspense.

Were you actually going to forgive her after what she did?

Ellie believes everyone deserves a second chance. She deserves one. She made a mistake. It's not as if you've never made one over the last two years you were together.

"Are you enjoying dinner?" Ellie asked awkwardly.

She watched you look up from the plate of food and you simply replied with "no".

Ellie frowned at your response, she thought you liked spaghetti?

"I thought you loved spaghetti?" she asked, confused.

"I don't like it anymore"

"what? Since when?"

"Since you fucking cheated on me"

Ellie went quite after that. She stared at you with glossy eyes, she hated when you brought this up.

"That night..." you started "it was our anniversary and I made spaghetti, and guess what Elie?" You asked her.

"My girlfriend was fucking someone else when I decided to suprise her" you started laughing as if it was the funniest joke ever.

Ellie started sweating with embrassment.

The room felt hot and stuffy.

Ellie waited for you to keep quite before she spoke again, "it was a mistake"

"This relationship was a mistake" you replied.

Ellie looked at you with her eyes wide "you don't mean that" she said softly, as the tears glossed her eyes once again.

"You said you loved me, you said we were meant to be" Ellie spoke.

"Maybe I was lying" you answered as you removed your hand from Ellie's grip. You got up and you walked out of the restaurant, not looking back at her.

Maybe trying to fix this relationship was a mistake. Maybe she should stop trying.

But you were worth fighting for.

I can tell that

You wanna laugh it off, but you're lazy

And I've been trying to make amends with you lately

But you're difficult to reason with and maybe

Just maybe

Want my chest to keep it heavin'

On the lighter side of feelin'

I'm not going into grievin' for you, for you, for you

So i'm just gonna laugh it off

"you can't keep ignoring my calls" was the first thing Ellie said as she walked into your apartment.

She heard you close the door as you walked towards her, and all you could said was "I can".

Ellie let out a groan of frustration. She was trying. She was really trying to fix things. To earn your trust again, but you were making it so fucking difficult.

Ellie tried taking you on dates, but you leave her alone at the end of every night. She tried to call and text you but you would never answer.

"How are we supposed to fix things if you keep ignoring me?" Ellie asked.

"Who said I wanted to fix things?"

Ellie opened her mouth in suprise.

"If I remembered correctly you came to my apartment crying, literally begging for me to take you back. To give you another chance" you spat out at her.

Ellie looked down at her feet before she quietly muttered "I came back because i love you".

You let out a laugh. Ellie loved you? If she did she would've never cheated on you.

"Love is about forgiveness" Ellie interrupted your laughing session.

You stopped laughing and you just stared at her. "For fucks sake Ellie, you cant mess something up and expect everything to be ok"

And once again you left Ellie speechless. "Now get out of my apartment" you yelled at her.

How long does one fight for something before you give it up? How long does Ellie have to fight to get you back? How long was she still going to be punished before you'd forgive her?

Ellie used to think that you're trying to hurt her on purpose. But the more Ellie thought about the more she realized that she deserved it. She was the one who cheated and she needs to suffer the consequences of her actions.

Ellie went back to you because she realized her mistake. She realized that you were the only woman for her. And she fought really fucking hard to get you back, and now that she has you she realizes what she did has caused deeper problems than what she initially thought.

You weren't being difficult on purpose, you weren't trying to hurt her. You were treating Ellie this way because she hurt you.

Ellie wishes you'd just listen. That you'd hear her out, that you'd let her explain. But what was there to explain? She cheated because she was drunk? She imagined she was fucking you instead?

But she couldn't blame you, because if you did the same thing Ellie wouldn't even accepted your apology.

If she had a time machine, Ellie would go back in time, to make her not go out that night, she wish she could back and stop herself from drinking so much, she wishes she could go back and stop herself from bringing that girl home.

So many regrets, and so many mistakes, but yet she could do nothing to fix it.

I wanna be wrong, but it don't feel right

Lighting my name up with an exit sign

You got me leavin'

You're pushing me into this falling out

And the moment that I watch my mouth

I lose the feeling

Ellie went out with a bunch of coworkers that night.

Ellie wasn't stupid, she knew she was an attractive girl, and where ever she went heads turned in her direction.

That night Ellie drank more than she normally did due to the amount of stress she was under.

Her boss was breathing down her ass, giving her assignment after assignment and she just needed a break. As Ellie kept taking shot after shot, feeling the liquid burn her throat, her eyes landed on a tall brunette.

The girl winked at Ellie, and all Ellie did was give her a smirk as she walked towards her. One thing led to another, and Ellie took the girl home.

It was about 1:00am when Ellie heard her front door open, but with her head between the girls thighs she couldn't focus on anything else.

The girl put her hands into Ellies hair as she threw back her head letting out a loud moan. "You like that?" Ellie chuckled as she went up to kiss the girl.

As they were making out Ellie heard a familiar voice from behind the door.

"your kitchen light was on so I assumed I'd come say happy anniversary early even though it's 1-"

Ellies head snapped towards the door, as she heard a glass fall onto the floor. Heavy breathes fell from Ellies lips as she looked at you staring at her with tears in your eyes.

"On our fucking anniversary?" You cried loudly as the tears fell from your eyes. You ran out the house, and all Ellie did was watch you ran away.

She watched you cry. She watched you walked out.

The girl Ellie was hooking up with, was grabbing her clothes and yelling at Ellie for being a piece of shit. But Ellie wasn't paying attention to her.

The girl walked out the apartment, and Ellie was left there. Alone and half naked.

All Ellie could do was stare at the broken plate, and her floor filled with spaghetti.

'Cause I got the good sense to laugh it off, but this is crazy

You make it seem like I'm the one who's being shady

But your love is in the liminal and maybe

Just maybe

"what the fuck Ellie?" You yelled.

Ellie had shown up to your apartment, once again, drunk and saying random things.

"Hi" she slurred before she put her arm around your shoulder.

"Did you know, Jesse cheated om Dina and she laughed it off?"

"Are you saying I should pretend you never cheated, and just laughed at it like it was a joke?"

Ellie hummed.

All you could do was let put a sigh as you removed Ellie's jacket before you placed her on the couch.

You left Ellie blabbering on the couch as you walked yo her room to get her a blanket.

You felt guilty for wanting to leave Ellie. You felt like you played a part, in why she cheated on you.

Maybe you didn't give her enough attention? Maybe you didn't treat her right?

Ellie never knew this, but you blamed yourself for a long time. You felt like you were the reason she cheated. But after a while you realized that it wasn't your fault.

You knew you deserved better. You deserved to be in a happy relationship and that person wasn't Ellie.

You grabbed a soft blanket that Ellie had gotten you for your 5 month anniversary almost two years ago, and you brought it to her.

You covered her with the blanket, as you looked down at her beautiful face.

She looked so peaceful. So innocent.

"I love you" Ellie whisperered, before she fell asleep.

If only you still felt the same

Oh, oh

I'm just gonna laugh it off

Oh, ohh

'Cause the air's got a weight right now

And I can't help but feel out your heavy breathing

I'm only teasing

You and Ellie sat in awkward silence in her apartment.

You cleared your throat as you looked at her: "I've made my decision- about us"

Ellie let out a sigh of relief. Finally, you were finally going to talk to her, you were finally going to forgive her and things would go back to normal.

Ellie stared at you with a smile on her face, waiting for you to say that you'd forgiven her.

"I think we should break up"

"what? No"

"Ellie please let me go... you know this will never work out" you whisperered.

And Ellie let out a loud sob at your request.

How could you ask that from her? How do you give up someone you love so much?

Ellie started sobbing because she realized there was no going back from this because she had truly lost you forever. This was all her fault.

You got up as Ellie continued to cry. And you walked towards the door, before you looked back at her, as she sat there sobbing like a baby.

"Ellie remember when you said that love is about forgiveness?"

You heard Ellie sniffle before she looked up at you with swollen but hopeful eyes.

She nodded as an answer to your question.

"If you love me, you'd forgive me for leaving you"

And with that you walked out her apartment, closing the door behind you.

And once again Ellie was left alone. Her sobs filled the room, as she fell onto her knees.

Maybe she should've let you go the first time.

Authors note: guess who's back, back again! I hope you enjoyed! Remember my requests are always open, feel free to leave one! Remember you are loved and to always be kind!

Yours truly,

Zia <3

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