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ellabehavior · 21 days

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he always promised to take you on more dates when he got out of jail, and jj was a man of his word.

a gross, seedy dive bar on the outskirts of town wasn’t exactly what you had in mind — but jj was all over it. he was said to have been locked up with a couple of the guys that work there now, and would be able to score the two of you a couple of free drinks, and that was enough to convince you. plus, you didn’t really care where you went with jj — you were just happy to be able to spend time with him again.

“look, if my probation officer has no problem with me bein’ here, it’s clearly safe. you got nothin’ to worry about — i know these guys.” jj grins reassuringly, noticing your unsure expression as he opens the door to his truck for you. “now would i bring you somewhere if i wasn’t one thousand percent sure you’d be alright? no. that would be like, neglecting my duty of care for my girlfriend. just wasn’t raised that way, mama.” you raise an eyebrow as he loops an arm around your waist, walking you towards the door — internally questioning what he meant considering he practically wasn’t raised by anyone.

there’s a chorus of his name when he walks in and you shy to his side, clinging to his arm. he meets and greets, before the attention is turned to you, smiling bashfully through the ‘and this must be the famous girlfriend. you know we thought maybank was lyin’ about you.’ along with all the usual banter.

the real fun doesn’t start for a few hours. the place has cleared out a little, and you’re a couple of drinks in, feeling a lot more loose and comfortable. your boyfriend nurses the same beer he’s had for a while now, making a conscious effort not to go over the legal driving limit because he could not afford to get sent back into the slammer over something so dumb. for entertainment, the two of you are stationed at a pool table in some dimly lit corner, feeling your body get hotter just at the blonde explaining the rules of the game.

“you wanna hit this ball with this ball, n’get it into this hole. i already know you’re gonna be a pro at this, okay — i have full faith in you.” he chuckles, because you both know it’s likely not to be true. he passes you the cue stick, giving your ass a little pat in gesture to position yourself. “bend over the table a lil’ f’me.” he instructs, eyeing the table before smirking at his own double entendre. “i know y’know how to do that, atleast.”

you bite your lip, containing your growing excitement — but can’t help yourself from making a real show of it, lining up your stick with the ball and really laying your body on the table to have your ass practically stuck in the air. whilst you’ve been tugging your mini skirt down all night, you finally just let it ride up to the bottom crescent of your ass cheeks. the cherry on top was the way you glance over your shoulder, pouting your glossy lips.

“like this, jayj?”

he’s glancing around the room for any watchers before cementing his vision to the sight of your panties peeking from beneath your skirt. “yeah, yeah just like that actually.” he’s distracted, and shakes himself out of it to lean over you and adjust your hand placement on the stick. “there y’go, atta girl. like i said, total pro.” he praises and to retaliate, you press your ass into his crotch making him clear his throat. “dont start sumn’ you can’t finish, lil girl.” he chides teasingly, as he backs up a little, eyeing you — but you can tell he’s getting wound up.

“not doin’ anything.” you smile impishly, practically waving your lace panties at him as your skirt rides up even more. he steps closer protectively, looking around as he scratches beneath his nose — making sure no one else can get a peek.

“nah? well in that case, don’t mind if i do…” his eyes are flitting round still cautiously as a hand slips between you, skilfully forcing your panties aside and sliding his fingers through your glossy folds. he smirks, brows jumping up and his tongue poking out to fiddle with the corner of his mouth. “oh? wha’s got you so excited mama? i dunno you must really like playin’ pool. you’re soaked.” he teases, licking his lips and leaning down to speak to you a little quieter. you pretend to continue lining up your shot, but your hands get shaky and you can’t keep the cue stick still.

“just happy to have my man back.” you admit sweetly which is the final straw for him. he pulls your skirt back down and steps away, making a real show of licking the residue of his fingers.

“right, right — y’know i hear the bathrooms here are like, super spacious. we should pro’lly go check it out, right? see what all the hype’s about.” he nods casually, helping you stand up straight.

“but jj, what about our game of pool?” you pout theatrically knowing you don’t really care. he turns to you, cornering you against the table.

“well i mean, i’m suggesting the bathroom out of respect. trust me, i got no issue gettin’ all in those guts right here on the table infront’a everyone. s’your call, babydoll.” he thumbs at your chin and your lashes flutter as an immediate response, feeling your mind go to mush.

“uhm… bathroom.” you agree shyly and he nods with a simple smile, patting your cheek.

“tha’s the spirit cupcake. that pool table ain’t goin’ anywhere.” jj commends, leading you by the lower back to the glowing bathroom sign on the wall.

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ellabehavior · 9 months

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⭒𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬⭒

⭒𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲. 𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞

⭒𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. 𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐱 𝐟𝐰𝐛𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐣𝐞𝐫𝐤, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

⭒𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭. 𝟖𝟒𝟔

you curled your legs into your chest and laid on your side, wishing nothing more but for the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

your period decided to grace its presence a week early this morning, red staining your new comforter and sharp pains carving your insides into shreds.

your phone pinged from beside you, followed by another.

groaning, you reached for the device before unlocking it.

message from: rafe

'want 2 cum over?'

you cringed at his wording that, any other day, would have made you laugh and make your way over. but all you wanted to do was, well, vomit.

message from: rafe

'u alive?'

how charming.

you tossed your phone across your bed and smushed your face into the pillow, screaming into the plush material as your stomach doubled into knots.

"yo."

your eyes fluttered open to the sound of a man's voice, rafe's voice.

there he was. standing in your room.

"r-rafe?" you mumbled, forcing yourself to sit up as you wiped the sleep from your eyes.

"how the hell did you get in here?"

"the window," he said in a 'matter of fact tone.'

rafe had snuck through your window multiple times in order to avoid your parents, but what he didn't know was that they were out of town for a couple days.

"why weren't you responding to my texts?" he asked, breaking the silence as you noticed him staring at your phone discarded to the side.

"rafe, i'm really not in the mood for your dick in me right now- so if you could so kindly leave-"

"since when did you not want to fuck?" he laughed, eyes squinting in disbelief as you groaned loudly, another cramp hitting your stomach like a truck.

"since blood decided to gush out of my lady parts this morning," you snapped.

rafe was always an ass, but you were not in the mood for bantering.

his eyes widened for a second before dropping, his pupils softening at now realizing your uncomfortable state.

"at least you aren't pregnant," he chuckled, nose scrunching as he shrugged his shoulders.

oh you could sock him right in the face.

"fuck off, rafe," you spat, throwing your pillow at his body but unfortunately he dogged it.

you gave him the finger before rolling over and yanking the covers over your body.

you heard him mumble something under his breath before leaving your room, this time through the door.

you would have cried from his reaction, hormones speaking, but your body was exhausted.

"wake up."

was that rafe, again?

"rafe, what did i say?" you groaned, rolling over dramatically and pulling the blanket down, "i don't want to have sex-"

now wasn't that a sight.

rafe cameron standing in your room with a grocery bag and heating pad.

"calm down, i come in peace," he says, placing the bag next to you before kicking off his shoes and moving to sit in front of you.

"is that chocolate?" you asked, taking out a bar before grabbing another. and another.

"i didn't know which one, so i got options," he raised his hands in defense, "didn't need you ripping my head off."

you couldn't help but laugh quietly, a smile forming on your lips as you mumbled a thank you.

"rom-com?" you asked, eyebrows raised as you inspected the DVD case you pulled from the bag.

he cleared his throat before scratching the back of his neck.

"you're the weirdo who enjoys them."

"hey!" you gasped, smacking him with the case before tossing it to the side.

"well this weirdo is about to watch this movie, so don't think you need to stay here hostage," you said, watching his eyes soften as he bit the inside of his mouth.

"i'll go heat up the heating pad."

you don’t know how you got into this situation.

cuddling with your fuck buddy—his arm wrapped around your waist and legs tangled together, your hands in a bowl of popcorn mixed with m&ms.

the corny rom-con played across the tv, rafe not paying much attention as he kept stealing glances at you.

“feeling better?” he asked, voice soft as he squeezed your waist.

you turned to look at him, a small smile on his face as he raised an eyebrow.

“not really,” you sighed, giving him a teasing smile as he hummed.

“really?” he asked, face only inches away from yours as his minty breath fanned over your lips.

before you could answer, rafe closed the gap to connect his soft lips with yours.

you’ve kissed rafe multiple times, granted it’s been during more intimate moments—but this time felt different.

he was slow, and caring. he was gentle with you.

his hand caressing the side of your face as if you were made of glass, the complete opposite of how he would in bed.

he pulled away for a second, blue eyes locking with yours—the only noise being the movie in the background.

“what about now?”

you bit your bottom lip, eyes closing for a second as you hummed…thinking.

“let’s try again.”

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ellabehavior · 9 months

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still mine — RAFE CAMERON

authors note i would be so down to party with rafe (besides the coke) writing fics about parties is fun because i can put in sfuff i’ve either seen or experienced at the parties i’ve gone too. this is really long so be prepared. feedback is always appreciated <3

summary topper is throwing a party at his house one weekend invites you and your two best friends. you see someone staring at you from a distance which happens to be rafe cameron. the two of you have history together and hadn’t seen each other for two months. what happens when you finally see each other.

warnings drinking, smoking, kissing, swear words, implied smut at the end

Considering it's the weekend, there will be a party tonight. Tonight will be Topper Thorton's party. Everyone comes to his parties; once word gets out, you can bet they'll be full. His parents are on the main island for the weekend, so he's taking advantage.

Every weekend, there are parties on the Outer Banks. Taking advantage of being plastered and having the party shut down by the cops because the neighbors complained about the noise.

You were walking out the door to your car when you felt your phone buzz in your purse. Topper texted you about his party and wanted you to come if you didn’t have anything later. Of course you said you would come and get drunk.

When you got into work, you went in the back to put your personal stuff in your locker, then clocked in. You work at the local shoe store in town that’s very popular. Your two best friends, Sophie and Aubrey work with you too.

You met Aubrey and Sophie in English freshman year of high school. Sat in the same row the whole year and everyday you three joked and talked about the craziest things. Your friendship grew and grew.

The three of you were in the back organizing the shoe boxes before the store opened. They told you about the party before you could tell them.

“I was gonna tell you guys but you beat me to it” you laughed, putting the shoe’s in the box.

“You know how fast word spreads here, Y/N.” Aubrey states, leaning over you on the stool, putting a shoe box in the open space.

“Yeah, you got a point there” you place both hands on your hip, backing up.

“Plus we get to have fun tonight” Sophie states.

You three laugh in agreement and get back to work.

Eight hours later, the three of you were getting ready at your house. The party doesn't start until ten thirty, giving you plenty of time to prepare for the long night ahead. Aubrey and Sophie only came to your place because you live five houses down from Topper.

While you three did your makeup in the bathroom, your outfits were put out on the bed. Tonight, you're wearing a black crop top tee with gray loose cargo pants that show off your beautiful curls, which you've curled with gold jewelry to make your outfit pop.

Sophie brought buzz balls from the local liquor store to prepare. Usually, one of you will buy drinks before the party and then drink more at the party. You jugged the buzz balls together after changing into your outfits.

“Alright, let’s get fucked up tonight” you exclaimed with a smile.

When you walked up the street to Toppers, loud music from the inside of the house could be heard from outside. There was a large group of girls pulling up at the same time– you girls have never seen them before. It sounded like water splashing from the pool in the backyard.

Your nose was immediately filled with the smell of weed. Music filled the entire place, and you had to talk-yell to be heard. People passing around bottles and then pouring them into their mouths.

The girls nodded and followed closely behind you as you said, "Let's find drinks in the kitchen."

A broad range of drinks were available in the kitchen's fridge and on the counter. With Aubrey and Sophie joining you in getting your second drink of the night, you three were prepared to get shitfaced.

The sound of drunk Topper's voice saying, "Well well, look who finally arrived at the party" comes from behind you. He is shirtless, his arms are open, and he is holding a drink in his left hand.

It doesn't surprise you that Topper is already drunk at his own party because it has happened frequently before.

“Drunk already?” While hugging him, you laughed.

He nods slowly, "yeah, I am, but I'll be fine by the end of the night, trust me," he smiles with his teeth, aware that he is lying to himself but plays it off.

"Whatever you say, Topper," Aubrey replies as she walks by him, touching his shoulder and pointing to the dance floor.

"We'll see you around, Topper," you remark as you walk out of the kitchen.

When you walk by the back door that leads to the balcony, you can sense someone looking at you. Your gut wants you to double-check before it's too late. You can't tell who it is because of all the people surrounding you.

“Who are you looking at?" Aubrey asked, puzzled, while glancing in the same direction as you.

"I think that's Rafe staring at you," she says bluntly.

"This can't be happening to me," you mutter as you brush your fingers through your hair.

Rafe Cameron and you have a history together. Last summer, you met at a Halloween party and that was the first time you met officially. You guys hung out with friends a couple times after hooking up here and there. You last spoke with him two months ago, following an altercation he sparked about this guy flirting and touching you at this party.

You were obviously upset with Rafe for what he did to the poor guy, he meant no harm. You decided to end hooking up with Rafe because you didn’t want this fighting guys continuing. There’s times where you think of him or see his posts on social media, he looks really good.

"Hey, don't think about him. "We came here to have some fun and possibly not remember this night in the morning," Sophie said, assuring you.

"You're right, let's go party," you move your body to shake off the negativity.

It's been an hour and all you can think about is how much fun you're having. To the beat of the music, bodies dance up on each other. With the weed and alcohol in your system, your body feels like it's on cloud nine.

One of your friends brought his weed to the party and asked if you three wanted to have a little smoke sesh. Of course you all said yes.

You looked over your shoulder and saw Aubrey and Sophie dancing on these guys; they seemed to be having a good time. On the other hand, you were having fun in your own world.

When the song changed, you could feel your hips swaying to the beat of the music. Aubrey and Sophie, who were still with the boys, encouraged you and made you grin.

Everyone in the room appeared to be enjoying themselves. You were amazed that the cops hadn't yet arrived at the house. When parties are thrown, it is common for neighbors to call the cops, but as the parties kept coming back they gave up.

"I'm going to get another drink; I'll be right back," you say to the girls. They tell you to be careful.

You pushed your way past the mob to the balcony, where there were cold drinks. Humming to the sound of music playing from inside. When you stroll past a couple girls you remember from school, they smile and wave.

You rummaged through the Truly's, Mike's, and Smirnoff's in the cooler in hopes to find one that would catch your eye. You made the decision to choose Smirnoff.

When Kelce notices you looking in the cooler, he calls you over to the group who are already seated. Kelce stands up from his chair to hug you.

"Y/N, how are you doing?" He asks. You haven't seen Kelce in a while, but he always treats you well when you talk with him.

"I've been busy with work and apartment search. How about you? You respond openly before taking a sip of your drink.

“How's it going? And juggling work and school," he chuckles, shaking his head.

You shrug your shoulders and say, "Honestly not that easy, but I think I found a place I'm thinking of applying at."

The conversation went on for another ten minutes and you excused yourself from the group and went back inside. The whole time you were wondering where Rafe was because he’s usually outside with Kelce or Topper.

You walk through the crowded area as you enter the loud house. You ran into a strong chest by accident, and they smelled great. It turned out to be Rafe Cameron, who is already staring down at you as your eyes wander up.

Your jaw dropped in your drunken state.

He looked so good in his gray pants with a plain black t-shirt with his gold chain that fits perfectly around his neck. He changed his hair, it looks really good.

"Long time no see, Y/N," he says bluntly, grinning as he slowly places his hands on your waist, pulling your body closer to him. You can smell the mixture of cologne, weed and alcohol on him too.

"Hi Rafe," is all you could say as you looked down at his hands on your hips, slightly blushing at his hand placement but attempting to cover up your redness.

He chuckles.

“You look beautiful,” he compliments.

“Thank you, you don't look bad yourself, Cameron” you remark.

For a few moments, you two have a small conversation. As he opens his mouth, you take a long sip of your drink, knowing in your gut that he's going to say something interesting.

“I’m sorry about what happened. I should’ve never acted the way I did” Rafe says with an apologetic look.

You bite your bottom lip, nodding your head, trying to process what he said in your drunk state. You accept that he is apologizing but he could be talking out of his ass as you two speak honestly. Won't forget what he did though. You felt too drunk to be talking to him about this right now too.

"I appreciate your apology, but as you can see, I'm drunk, like really drunk, so talk to me in a few days about this," you pat his chest with your right palm, trying to walk away from him because you really didn’t feel like dealing with him tonight.

Rafe nods, "Wanna dance though?" He leans down and whispers into your ear.

Chills run down your spine by the way he whispers. You make eye contact with him, nodding in approval.

You hate that he still has that effect on you no matter what he does or says.

He leads you into the dance floor, turning your body so your back is against his front and running his hands down your sides towards your hips. You lean back into his chest, your hips swaying to the beat of the music.

When Sophia and Aubrey hear a few guys chanting Rafe's name on the dance floor, they quickly turn their heads, assuming you're with him.

The tension between Rafe and you grows quickly. As you continue dancing, you can’t help but grin at the fact you two have each other wrapped around both your fingers. His firm grip on your hips don’t leave your body, his lips attached themselves to your neck, leaving soft kisses.

You know you shouldn't be doing this but in your drunken state, you want to do this.

“Let’s go somewhere else, yeah?” Rafe whispers.

You stop your movements, turning around facing him, confused but curious at the request.

He sighs, “up there” pointing up at the ceiling, indicating a room.

Rolling your eyes, agreeing.

You look over your shoulder, scanning the room for Sohpie and Aubrey who are nowhere to be found. You start to worry, you go to the group chat but they text you saying they’ll wait for you and be with the guys they met.

You walk in front of Rafe till you find the guest room.

The room was dark.

You sat on the edge of the bed, hands on your lap, as Rafe turned on the lamp on the nightstand next to the bed.

Rafe leans in front of you, his hands on your now-partially separated thighs. You glance up with doe eyes, anticipating his next move. He can't help but notice your plumped lips and then your eyes as he realizes what game you're about to play with him.

The game is simple: you tease him by giving him doe eyes, tilting your head to the side, and saying things that make him wonder if you're serious about what's going to happen. You like to add sarcastic comments here and there. Usually, he fails and you win.

"You look so fuckin' hot right now," he exhales, "you know you're killing me, Y/N."

"You think I'm hot?" "Am I on fire or what?" You make a sarcastic remark.

"You think this is funny now, huh?" He hates it when you make sarcastic remarks to him.

You don't give a damn. So you keep going.

"I know, I know, I'm quite the jokester," you say, smirking and biting your lower lip.

Rafe doesn't want you to win, but he knows you will regardless. He knew there was something about you that had him hooked the moment he laid eyes on you. He realizes what he did was wrong, and the two months of not communicating or seeing you destroyed him.

“You wanna keep it up with the sarcastic jokes and laugh?” His voice is stern, almost as if he was ready to pin your hands over your head and take you there.

"And what if I want to keep it going?" You can feel his body tense up as you drag your hand below his t-shirt and play with his lower stomach.

"Oh, I think you know what's about to happen," he says before he smashes your lips together, catching you off guard.

Before you know it, clothes taken off, touching, heavy breathing and moans filled the guest room.

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ellabehavior · 9 months

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You’re on your own kid ~ Rafe Cameron ☼

Summary: Rafe and you have been best friends since you were young. However, now that he got his new girlfriend you suddenly realized that you could possibly like him more than simply as a friend.

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

Warnings: anxiety, mentions of drinking

A/N: Its been a while yall, but i’m back!! I hope y’all enjoy :)! ( i hateee this but i hope y’all love)

angst to soft!

Summer went away,

You’ve been best friends with Rafe since as long as you can remember, but last summer was the summer where everything changed.

The summer before your first year of college.

School was back up and you were also starting to look at Rafe with a different eye. He was taller, tanner, smarter, he’s growing up.

Still the yearning stays.

Everytime you’d pass Rafe in the hallway hed give you a short smile but never really acknowledge you.

You missed last summer when you guys would hang out everyday, tell eachothers every little secret, and have the best deep conversations at 2am.

You knew at this moment that things might never be the same again.

I play it cool with the best of them.

For the first time in months Rafe contacted you, he invited you to go to a party with a lot of people from your school.

When you arrived, that’s when you seen him with her.

He had his arm around her neck and her long blonde hair rested on his lower arm.

I wait patiently, he’s gonna notice me.

“It’s ok, It’s ok” You whisper quietly while gaining the courage to go up and talk to Rafe.

As you walk up to him he gives you a half-hug due to the blonde on his right.

“Hey Y/N i haven’t seen you in a while.” He grins.

“Yeahhh, I guess i’ve been busy yknow with all the test and s-” Immediately you get cut off by a high pitched voice.

“Rafeyyy cmon let’s go play some games this is boring.” She says with a pout.

“Mkay babe. Bye Y/n” The boy said walking away without a glance at you.

It’s ok we’re the best of friends, anyways…

About a week after the party Rafe finally calls to check up on you.

“Hey y/n.” He drowsily says .

“Rafe? It’s 1:00am what are you calling me for?” You voice concerningly

“I just miss my bestie that’s all” He laughs.

I hear it in your voice,

You're smoking with your boys.

I touch my phone as if it's your face.

“Rafe are you high right now?” You almost shout.

“Yes, Maybe, No.” He giggles.

“Rafe do you need me to come get you?”

You rush to grab your keys and your wallet to go pick Rafe up.

“No i’m here with my girlfriend.” He says.

You stop in your tracks, immediately getting a sick feeling in your stomach as soon as those words come out from his mouth.

“Oh Okay, we’ll I’ll talk to you some other time okay?” You suggest.

And with that he hangs up the phone without a goodbye.

I didn't choose this town,

I dream of getting out.

There's just one who could make me stay,

All my days.

As a kid you and Rafe would always talk about how when you guys were 25 you’d move to London together, and to this day that’s still your biggest dream.

You hate this place, it’s full of people who will be rude to you just based off of how you grew up.

Surprisingly Rafe is now dating one of those girls, Lily.

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I waited ages to see you there

I search the party of better bodies

Just to learn that you never cared

You promised yourself after last time you would never go to another college party, but here you find yourself at one that Rafe invited you to.

You would be lying if you said you’re here because you wanted to party, you’re waiting to see him.

You see Lily off in the crowd dancing, She’s perfect. You understand why Rafe would pick her. Her hair flows perfectly in the wind, her makeup is never less than flawless, and even though you want to tell yourself that she’s ugly, she’s one of the prettiest girls you’ve ever seen.

As you study Lily you see Rafe come up from behind her and hug her.

You're on your own, kid

You always have been

The whole night Rafe didn’t even bat a single eye at you, so you left.

I see the great escape

So long, Daisy May

I picked the petals, he loves me not

Something different bloomed

Writing in my room

I play my songs in the parking lot

I'll run away

You tried to distance yourself ever since the party, finally realizing this crush is starting to form into something you don’t need right now.

It’s been exactly 2 weeks since you’ve gone no contact with Rafe and if there were 20 stages of grief, you’ve been through 30.

All you want to do is call him, text him, or tell yourself that maybe he’s just using Lily as a distraction because he really likes you.

“Why is it never me.”

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I called a taxi to take me there

I search the party of better bodies

Just to learn that my dreams aren't rare

It’s a cycle.

Another party, Another slap in the face.

You can see the other girls also looking at Lily wishing they could be with Rafe.

The realization kills you to know that it’ll probably never be you in that spot with all these options he has.

You're on your own, kid,

You always have been.

It’s a drunken night, and you’ll definitely regret this.

“Rafeyyy babyyy” you slur.

“Y/N? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?” You can tell he is worried in his tone.

“I don’t like her. She’s rude, you deserve better.”

There is a long pause and then you hear someone speak, “He’s never liked you babe. You’re nothing compared to me, and you know that.”

The phone hung up.

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this

I hosted parties and starved my body

Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss

It’s been hard to do anything since the altercation.

Eating, Getting up, Going to class, Socializing, and pretty much everything feels like a chore.

You’ve tried so hard to get his attention yet he never seemed to care.

And of course as a mean girl, Lily decided to tell everyone about what you said to Rafe. Of course he apologized for what she said, and for what happened but that didn’t stop the whole school for coming at you for a whole week.

The jokes weren't funny, I took the money

My friends from home don't know what to say

I looked around in a blood-soaked gown

And I saw something they can't take away

You received a text message late at night, usual for Rafe.

Rafe: Hey, i’m so sorry for what Lily caused. You’re my best friend and I realized nothing is worth loosing that, me and her are over now after a long talk.. Can we please hang out? I miss you.

Fuck. This is what you’ve been longing for all these months and it finally is here.

You: Yeah sure, Sleepover? my place tmmrw? ;)

Rafe: Ofc. I miss you. Cya.

Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned

Everything you lose is a step you take

So make the friendship bracelets

Take the moment and taste it

You've got no reason to be afraid

The anxiety levels are high waiting for Rafe to come over, it’s been so long since you’ve had a real conversation through all this time of him being with Lily.

You start to wonder if he still likes Starwars, or if his favorite dancing song is 22 by Taylor Swift.

You then hear a knock on the door.

You're on your own, kid

“Hey!! Can I come in” he says.

“Of course.”

Then the catching up, the apology’s, and the stories start up.

It’s just like last summer.

Yeah, you can face this

While Rafe is telling one of his stories, you start to feel a pit of anxiety in your stomach because you know what you have to do.

You’ve gotten ready for this moment, practiced it in the mirror about 50 times to make sure your facial expressions, or your tone doesn’t sound too weird.

You're on your own, kid

“Rafe.” You stop him mid conversation.

“Yes?” he says with a quirk of his eyebrows.

“All these months i’ve been so distant but really all I wanted was to be near you, since last summer you’ve been the only thing on my mind and maybe you don’t feel the same way but-“

He cuts you off with a kiss to your lips.

“I’ve been waiting since the 8th grade for you to say that” He says as he pulls away.

“So all that practicing in the mirror was for nothing?” you giggle.

“Guess so.”

You always have been

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ellabehavior · 10 months

Text

Fight Or Flight

college baseball player!drew starkey x fem!reader

a college baseball au blurb

warnings: panic attacks, anxiety, reckless driving, mentions a car wreck, fear, angst

You are on your way home from Drew’s baseball game, a bad baseball game, when it happens. He wouldn’t mutter a word to you, only grabbing your hand and leading you to his car. The drive is even more silent, tension filling the empty space. You know he’s upset, but you’ve never seen him like this before. Granted you have only been together for 9 months. His hands have a deadly grip on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white and his veins bulging. You start to notice the way his chest starts rapidly moving up and down. His breathing is speeding up, becoming erratic.

“Drew, what’s wrong?” You ask softly, your hand attempting to card through his hair, but he jerks away from you causing you to flinch in return.

You have to force your hands to not reach out again. You didn’t want to make him even more upset.

His driving speeds up, your body becoming tense with nerves and maybe fear. Your eyes take turns looking at the road ahead of you and the boy beside you.

“Drew, slow down,” you say warily, gripping onto your seatbelt while your legs start to tense up.

He doesn’t hear you, just continuing to push on the gas.

You scream his name in shock, trying to not cause anymore distress but also trying to not get in a wreck.

“Drew, please!” You plead, tears gathering in your eyes and your voice getting scratchy.

He turns to look at you and when he sees the fear swimming in your eyes, he speeds off to a stop on the side of the road. You grasp onto the dashboard, willing yourself to calm down. Drew exits the truck with haste. He’s pacing in front of you, hands pulling at his hair.

You get out of the vehicle, not knowing what to do, or how to calm him down. You situate yourself to lean against the hood of the truck. You’ve never witnessed him like this before. If you are being honest, it is really scary.

“I’m sorry,” he finally breaks the awful silence, tears falling from his eyes.

You open and close your mouth, not knowing what to say. Your eyes plead with him to stop pacing and to take a deep breath. His panic makes your panic worse.

“What happened?” You ask.

“I- I can’t do this. The pressure is too much. They all want everything to be perfect, but I’m not perfect, y/n!” He rants, hands further expressing his words.

“The game was absolutely shit. I was shit. I tried my hardest and I was still shit,” he screams out, making you flinch again.

You refrain from looking at him, knowing that if you looked at his broken down state, you’d just start bawling your eyes out. You see the tops of his shoes come into vision. You feel him hover over you. It’s not intimidating, but begging for your touch. You look up, witnessing the storm in his perfect, blue eyes. He’s gasping for air. It’s enough for you to wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him into the comfort of your body. His face finds home in your neck, hands placed on the center of your back, keeping you pressed to him.

“It’s okay, baby. I promise everything is going to be okay. I know this game was tough, but like you said, you tried your best. You have to drown out all the unnecessary noise. Please don’t let it get to you,” you soothe him, softly whispering in his ear.

“I know,” he sniffles.

“You really scared me in the car. Maybe you should try seeing a therapist to sift through all the anxiety,” you say, trying not to come off as pushy or judgmental.

He just breaks. All the pressure breaking him into a shell of himself. The harsh sobs rack through his body. He trembles in your arms, saying sorry as if it were a mantra. He really didn’t mean to scare you, he just couldn’t find his way out of all the negative thoughts.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please. Please,” he cries, tears wetting the skin of your neck. His hands are gripping the material of your hoodie that belongs to him.

“Please? Please what?” You ask, confusion replacing the fear in your body.

“Please don’t leave me. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. You shouldn’t even be with me; I just put you in danger. I’m a terrible boyfriend,” he blurts, separating himself from you. It’s almost as if your touch burned him, and that hurt you.

You attempt to walk towards him, but he quickly backs away, holding out his hand to stop you from continuing. He shakes his head, tears welling up in his eyes again. You see the way his body is starting to cave on himself, he is hurting and he isn’t letting you help. You rush to him, wrapping your arms around his waist even though his arms stay frozen at his sides. You rub his back before grabbing onto his cheeks, dragging his face down to meet yours.

“Listen to me, yes, you scared me, but I’m fine. You just had a panic attack. I’m not scared of you, and I’m not in danger anymore. I love you so much, you know that,” you whisper into his ear.

“Let me drive us back to yours. You need to shower and rest, cowboy,” you say, feeling his body go lax in your hold.

The drive home is silent, but free of panic.

Arriving at Drew’s dorm room, you lay in his bed, waiting for him to come out the shower. When he does, he quickly climbs into bed next to you.

He’s staring at the ceiling, on his back and you’re facing him while on your side. Once he connects his eyes with yours they starting watering again. You notice the way his chest is starting to heave again. You scoot closer to him, grabbing his hand and placing it over your heart. The consistent thumps calm him down. You let your hands massage his scalp, putting him to sleep. You rub your nose against his, telling him how much you love him and how you’ll always be there for him.

a/n: A little on the heavier side, but I just wanted to show how strong their relationship has been since the beginning. Hope you all enjoy!

taglist: @maybankslover @91vhs @sp00ky-spr1te @livsters @seris-circle @one-sweet-gubler @a06e @tiacordelia02 @ijustwanttoreadlols @a23starkey @cameronmedia @mutual-mendes

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ellabehavior · 11 months

Text

Matilda ~ JJ Maybank ✯

Summary: You’ve grown up not being able to show much affection because of your family, but JJ knows just how to heal your wounds.

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mention of abuse, a lil suggestive content

A/N: hope y’all enjoy! request r open!

You've always been rather cautious about accepting hugs from people. Even as a young child, you might have hesitantly accepted a hug or just stood there not really knowing what to do. Likewise, expressing your love has always been difficult for you because it’s not something you would do very often inside your house hold.

Your parents never really said the words ‘I love you’. Sure, they’d sometimes give words of affirmation once in every blue moon, or they might hug you on special occasions but you never really got the feeling of true family love.

As a kid you would always watch family movies, or look at your friends parents and wonder ‘why are they so nice?’ or ‘how come they rarely argue?’

That is when you started realizing this behavior is not normal.

But once you and JJ started dating, things started to change; your displays of affection began to get stronger and more obvious.

He showed you how to love.

Your dreams, your kisses, your hearts, and your love for each other were all shared by the two of you.

You and JJ both know every last detail about one another. You were able to wipe away every tear that came from JJ's memories with kisses since you were aware of JJ's father and his early years. This may be why you two matched so well.

However, your family? You preferred not to bring it up. Naturally, your partner was aware of the awful ways in which your parents treated you, but you would never go into detail because doing so would trigger unpleasant memories.

That is until one sleepless night you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Jay” you whispered through your tears trying to wake him up out of his sleep.

“Baby?” He rubbed his eyes and seen the tears pouring down your face “Baby no, come here.” He said with a pout and pulled you in.

“JJ I had a dream about my parents and it brought back everything, and my mom was telling me about how I didn’t deserve you and-”

JJ then placed a soft kiss on your lips to calm you down.

“Calm down baby, i’m right here for you. I’ll be here all night. It was just a dream, i’m forever yours I promise.” He says in a soothing voice while rubbing your back hoping it’ll calm you even a little bit.

Since your mother called you on the phone two days earlier, he was aware that something was wrong. You’ve have been so silent since that phone call, he was skeptical about what was said, but he decided to not push it unless you were ready to tell him.

After a few minutes of crying and back rubs you’ve finally chilled out enough to tell him what was going on.

“When my mother called me two days ago, I thought it would be good and we could just catch up. I thought she'd be happy of me for where I've gone in life, but all she did was yell and tell me how she wishes I were different. I've been having dreams ever since, and I can't handle it any more.” At the end of your sentence, your voice begins to tremble, indicating another sob.

JJ immediately notices this and pulls you in tighter.

“Baby, please don’t ever believe those words. I fell in love with you for who you are, your the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Everything about you is perfect to me, the way you giggle, the way you snore, and even when you upset me I can’t find a single flaw about you.” He says with his hands on both sides of your cheeks.

“I don’t deserve to be loved by someone like you.” you whisper

“Don’t even say that.” JJ says in a serious tone with tears starting to form in his eyes. “I wouldn’t even be able to think without you, much less live without you.”

The look in his eyes was very serious. You were his oxygen, he never wanted to hear something like that from you. Without you, he wouldn't be able to breathe.

JJ finally broke the built up tension and pressed your lips together. Minutes upon minutes of the need to be closer to eachother.

You depended the kiss and pushed JJ back so you were on top of him.

“Jay” you said staring into his eyes while unbuttoning his pants.

He softly pushed you off and buttoned his pants back up. “Not tonight baby, I want to show you my love in a different way.” he breathed out

“Okay.” you said while he laid down and pushed you against him.

That night all you guys did was share little pecks, talk about stupid things, and hold onto eachother tight.

This was it, this is what you’ve been searching for since you were 7. This is what your parents swore would never happen to you, This is true unconditional love.

“I love you J”

“I love you more.”

‘I can't be who you

want me to be if who that is isn't who I am.

To love me is to accept me.’

- Baggage Reclaim

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