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elasticnoodle-blog · 7 years

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After spending some time in China, I couldn’t help but long for New Zealand.

I missed the clean, fresh air - not smelling the scent of the streets around me.

I missed not feeling like I was being steamed alive every time I stepped outside, the stickiness that wrapped around me.

I missed my dog, my flute, my own bed.

I missed being able to hang out with friends, the ability to use my phone without a VPN.

I missed the way everything was at home - organised just how I liked.

I missed not needing to look twice before crossing the road and I missed the peace of the quiet streets back home.

I missed not feeling so exhausted, not needing to book taxis and push through crowds in the metro station.

I missed routine, steady days where life went on as planned.

I missed the comfort of home, the safety of knowing where I belonged.

I missed New Zealand.

...

But now that I’m back in New Zealand, I lay awake thinking of all the things I left behind in China.

I miss the view from our apartment - that glimpse into someone else’s life.

I miss watching that little girl prancing around in a tutu, at 1am in the morning.

I miss wondering about the countless people around me, who they were, where they came from, their stories to tell.

I miss the city lights, always shining brightly.

I miss the sound of roaring cars and people, singing me to sleep.

I miss trying new foods everyday, from lychee to mangosteen and everything in between.

I miss being anonymous, deciding to be a completely new person and no one would know any better.

I miss family in china, talking to them, hearing their stories, receiving their red enveloped and good wishes.

I miss watching anime in a country that was just that much closer to Japan.

I miss the long bus rides and drives, watching the city flash by past me.

I miss the metro stations, public transport, giants ads plastered with faces of people I knew.

I miss the talks with dad, getting to know him better and catching up on lost time apart.

I miss seeing people on every street, shops on every corner and everything so different, so vibrant, so full.

I miss China.

Why can’t I be satisfied? Why can’t I appreciate the moment I am in? But perhaps, it is afterwards, when I realise that these places are now a part of me. They have intertwined with my heart, carved themselves a place and come with me wherever I go. It is now, that I can appreciate the beauty of both worlds.

#travel #china #new zealand #poetry #things i miss

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