#things i miss
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being forced to have the enthusiasm of someone who has begged for this for months while im doing the most degrading things for him
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Kissing is an art
#things i miss#it's been a while#it's a shame#i kiss with both hands#taking applications#lets make art#challenges of a single person#m.a.d
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Sometimes I think about fireflies and crickets and birdsong and frogs and the cool breeze through my bedroom window on a summer night as a child and how I'll never get that back and I feel like I'm suffocating and want to claw my own face off.
Anyway being an immigrant is great and I am doing awesome yes yes.
#personal#random#immigrant stuff#things I miss#ignore me I'm absurdly stressed#and I stayed at work until 7:20 tonight which I very should not have#because I still need to do laundry and more packing and construct a bird hat because I've LOST MY MIND
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Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on May 23, 2018
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on June 1, 2018
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on August 30, 2022
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on August 31, 2022
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on September 6, 2022
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on June 17, 2023
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on June 21, 2023
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on June 22, 2023
#i've seen this reposted so many times#often missing pieces and never in its entirety#and the timestamps too the timestamps are important#going by the xkcd ten thousand rule i wonder how many people have never seen the whole thing#original#art#twitter:paxiti
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That time in ancient Greece when Aziraphale needed a speedy horse and accidentally invented the pegasus
VS.
Whatever Crowley had going on in medieval times
#Crowley just really misses the unicorns ok???#Also Crowley didn't start from a horse to make a new unicorn#he looked at a horse and was like.... nah#then looked at a goat and was like YEAAAAH LET'S GOO LET'S MAKE YOU BIG AF AND YOU CAN ALSO SPIT FIRE WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!#While Aziraphale is fretting over the fact that he accidentally gave WINGS to a HORSE and every time that the angels asks about it he's lik#whaaat?? PegaSUS naaaah never heard about it. Must be a made up thing. humans...right?? silly little things ahahah *sweat nervously*#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#pegasus#unicorn#Do I wanna draw the precious good omens beans? yes.#is this an excuse to draw more horses? also yes.#medieval crowley#ancient greek aziraphale#CAVALLIIIIIII 🐎🐴🐎🐴🐎🐴🐎🐴#good omens comic#historical husbands
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It's all fun and games until she straddles you. And does that little rocking back and forth. Fully clothed. With the tension of a good make out sesh. More so if it's right before you have to go out... smh. I miss the teasing of casual intimacy.
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another cool thing is when you devour a book over the course of a handful of hours and it fucks you up and you just have to lie on the couch feeling like your brain went swimming for too long & only just came up from under the water. art is so good
#musings#i missed reading things…#more specifically. things not for class#things i don’t have to write essays on. those things
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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We’re fanfiction writers, of course:
We’re going to use song lyrics as titles.
We’re going to check for comments 30 seconds after we post something.
We’re going to have more WIPs than days of the month.
We’re going to use any excuse to post snippets.
We’re going to use ask box games to procrastinate.
We’re going to hype up our writer friends.
We’re going to scream, cry and throw up reading our friends’ work.
#hopping on the tumblr version of the tiktok trend#feel free to add ones I missed#writing#writing things#writers#pinned post
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brother i’m going to be honest with you. i don’t give a fuck if he’s “redeemable” or not. what is this, the checkout counter? he’s not a fucking COUPON!!!!!
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Apparently this needs to be said so
Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!
You're not a bad person if you...
forget things quickly
forget people
can't remember entire stages of your life
can't remember important things
can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time
can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests
forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc
forget to reply to texts
remember things and immediately forget them again
can't remember birthdays, events, etc
frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions
can't retain new information
forget things you used to know
only remember things when it's too late
have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories
depend on others to know how an event you were in played out
have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa
... and anything else I might have missed!
#muted#memory issues#adhd#actually adhd#dissociative amnesia#amnesia#memory loss#dissociative identity disorder#what other things cause memory issues#ptsd#i can't think of anything else#reminder#positivity#neurodivergent#neurodivergent positivity#memory problems#ice speaks#i tried to include as many experiences as i could think of#but out of everything i tagged i only have adhd so i probably missed a lot of stuff#so feel free to add your own experiences!#brought to you by... uh ironically i can't remember what prompted me to write this#something my mom said. i don't remember what it was tho
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inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is
#sorry this was funnier in my head#but after i read that post I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT#gen z batkids is the most Cursed thing i've read today and i love it#at first i had so many Thoughts about how my brain CANNOT reconcile tim as anything but a 90s kid but then i read that line about damian and#i feel like they'd mess with him sometimes by randomly quoting memes in unison#almost started to overthink how in This Particular Timeline jason might have missed out on this meme because he was Not Alive#but for the purposes of this silly joke i choose to believe dates are irrelevant#that is all thank you#clarisse doodles#batfam#damian wayne#dick grayson#jason todd
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grades are important
grades are importan
grades are importa
grades are import
grades are impor
grades are impo
grades are imp
grades are im
grades are i
grades are
grades ar
grades a
grades
grade
grad
gra
gr
g
go
goj
gojo
gojo s
gojo sa
gojo sat
gojo sato
gojo sator
gojo satoru
gojo satoru my love
#the things i would let him do to me#i love gojo#i miss him#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen#gojo x reader#jjk#gojo#gojo smut#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#gojo satoru x reader
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"aphobia doesn't exist"
bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it
#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area#so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying#even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations#now things are more calmed but damn#mind your own bussiness#i believe she knows more about herself than you#sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind#insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about”#or because they “just have to wait for the right person”#or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something”#i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself#and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one#aromantic#arospec#asexual#aroace#acespec
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cold
#twisted wonderland#my art#and here i am. semi back w twst after 2 years (2 years??!!!)#idk got the sudden urge to read a bunch of twst fics and here we r... agn#anyways adeuyuu my loves <3333333333 omg how i missed this lil silly trio (quartet??? w grim??) saurrrr much#ace is surprisingly a gentleman when it comes 2 things like this and deuce is jst naturally sweet
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so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.
and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.
...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.
see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.
while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.
especially if the president of the united states is on board.
yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.
and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."
but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.
...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.
not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.
yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.
but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire
#kai rambles#so like#i enjoy ships and learning about them and looking at them but like#i dont really care for warships#i dont hate them viscerally like i do cruise ships but i never really care for them#apart from the ones that were just like either ridiculously designed like the hms captain or the vasa or the novgorod#or the ones where just insane shit happened like with the william d porter#like this isnt even the extent of the porters unfortunate incidents like shr was sank by a kamikaze attack that MISSED#but somehow ended up below the ship and exploded and just like yeeted the porter out of the water#william d porter#uss william d porter#ww2#world war 2#world war ii#warships#again warships are really not my thing but god some of them are so fucking funny#uss iowa#fdr#franklin d. roosevelt#this suddenly got so many notes in like less than 24 hours what the fuck#shipposting
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