Possibly one of the most impressive things I've ever seen in person is my Grandmother washing dishes wearing long sleeves without pushing them up and not getting wet. I can't fill a glass from the faucet without getting splattered.

At Comic Con today, I went as Black Cat. This is a shitty picture and there will be better ones of my whole costume coming up but I just want to say something. 

Black Cat’s costume has a fair amount of cleavage (conservative compared to many other female comic characters but a good amount as far as what I’ve ever shown). I guess I was not surprised to have a couple men ask to pose with me and then do some doofy “WHOA LOOK AT THOSE KNOCKERS” poses. I just make a really ugly face when I see they’re doing it. One guy with the social graces of a lemur said to me “I was this close to wearing that same outfit. My breasts are large and supple and I think it would have been nice.” Nope. Stop talking.

But aside from guys being doofy and awkward (but clearly not foul-intentioned), I did have my first truly skeezy experience at Comic Con today. 

And my first truly empowering moment as well.

This group of men from some kind of Stan Lee fan club blah blah internet video channel blah blah asked to interview with them on camera about Comic Con. I said well okay, sure. Camera is rolling. The “host” is a middle aged, rotund dude. It’s an all-male crew and lots of people (mostly guys) were beginning to crowd around. The following is the interview as burned in my mind. Keep in mind that I expected this to be about Comic Con in general.

Him: I’m here with…

Me: Mandy, aka Felicia Hardy aka Black Cat

Him: ..And she is HOT. Do you think I’m hot enough to pull that off?

Me: Uh, I’m not sure, I’ve never seen you in drag.

Him: I’ve got a great ass. Go on, spank me.

Me: (look at his large ass, popped up a mere inches away from me then look into the camera like are you kidding me . No thanks. I may hurt you, I’m a lot stronger than I look.

Him: Aw come on!

Me: No, seriously. Stop.

Him: Damn, alright! Well let me ask you an important question then…what is your cup size?

Me: (big talk show smile) That is actually none of your fucking business.

Him: Oh! I think that means to say she’s a C. 

Me: I actually have no breasts at all, what you see is just all of the fat from my midsection pulled up to my chest and carefully held in place with this corset. It’s really uncomfortable, I don’t know why I do it.

 Him: (to the male crowd) Aw, come on what do you guys think? C cup? 

—a few males start to shout out cup sizes as I stand there looking at this guy like this has to be a fucking joke, then look at the crowd and see that no amount of witty banter or fiestiness will stop making this whole thing fucking dumb. It was clearly a ploy to single out attractive cosplaying women to get them to talk sexual innuendos and flirt with this asshole and let him talk down to them simply because they were in costume and were attractive. Whether I’m in a skintight catsuit or not, I’m a fucking professional in everything I do and I don’t need to play nice for this idiot.

Me: This is not an interview, this is degrading. I’m done. (I walk away)

Him: (clearly dumbfounded and surprised) ..Come on, it’s all in good fun!

Me: Being degraded is fun? That was unprofessional and I hope that isn’t your day job because you can’t interview for shit, my man.

And the entire crew and the crowd were SILENT. NOTHING. SHOCK, HONEY. It felt like I was in a heated fog, full of rage and pride and I sashayed away feeling like the most badass motherfucker in the whole damn room. A slow build of applause would have been appropriate, but from the looks on people’s faces, they were just completely not expecting me to do what I just did. Because cons set attractive women cosplaying vixens to be open to crude male commentary and lecherous ogling, like our presence comes with subtitles that say “I represent your fantasy thus you may treat me like a fantasy and not a human in a costume”. And maybe that will always be how the majority of people see us. But that does not mean we have to put up with shit that crosses the line, it does not mean we owe them a fantasy, it does not mean we dress up to have guys drooling over us and letting us know that we turn them on. It is not all about your dicks, gentlemen. So I encourage cosplaying women everywhere to be blunt and vocal with their rights, their personal boundaries, and their comfort level at conventions. I actually encourage girls to be brashly shameless about these things, to not be afraid to speak up if you feel uncomfortable and to let the person doing it know that they are crossing the line. Don’t keep quiet because you’re scared of what they might say or think- because if you say nothing they will continue to see what they’re doing as OK. 

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

what is your name. what is your quest. what is your favorite color

How I got out of doing the dishes

My mom: Do the dishes

Me: *places sock on counter*

My mom: What's this? Why is it here? *hands me the sock*

Me: MASTER HAS GIVEN DOBBY A SOCK!

My mom: wait what?

Me: DOBBY IS A FREE ELF

Me: *runs to room*

What better place to court Italians.

Danny Kaye (The Court Jester)

Me neither! (glances around shiftily) You believe me right?

I would never do that…. I also would never see a friend type something in slang on facebook and correct it in my comment… and actually post it. Noooooo!

Well I was excited about the Avengers friday.

Kind of in a shitty mood now...I've been planning for MONTHS to take my younger brother to see the Avengers for his birthday present, it's a thing that we've done the last several years whenever there is a movie we both really want to see that comes out around his birthday. Then he informs me that he and his fiance were planning to go Friday to order the tuxes for their wedding which is cool and I told him we could go after they do that. I was planning to take both of them anyway, assuming she wanted to go. But then he told me that she was planning to take him, her brother and two of his friends to go see the movie after they took care of the tuxes. No mention of "Oh you are invited too." or anything like that. Then when I got upset about it he was like "well you can come too I guess."  I'm not going to just invite myself along and be the loser with no friends who just tags along with her brother and his friends.

Now a year ago this would not have been a thing. Unfortunately my best friend, her husband and their kids moved about 12 hours away last summer and none of my other friends who would even want to see the movie live anywhere close. I can't even be completely pathetic and go with my mom because she has absolutely no interest in the movie. It's upsetting. I'm not really mad at anybody it just kind of makes me feel lonely. Like I don't matter enough to be more than an afterthought. Never mind that I've been planning this since I found out the release date.

Holy Crap I have a follower...

Are you lost?...I mean...Hello aindifferenceandbdisinterest. Thank you for the follow.

i wanna live in an cosy apartment where it rains a lot and it snows and i live near a coffee shop and read books all the time and play piano and fall in love with someone

So I read this and literally the first thought to pop into my head was..."But why would you want an apartment where it rains and snows inside all the time? Wouldn't that be awfully messy?" And then my brain caught up and my next thought was "You are really a giant moron aren't you?" Seriously! If my college professors heard that they'd reposes my diploma.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what competency porn looks like. She's just THAT good. I have a feeling this whole movie is gonna be this way...ridiculously competent people just continually being insanely badass (slight flail) I can't wait!!