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druigs-wife · 1 year

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Heartaches

AN: This is my first fic on tumblr aaaa I hope u love! As a Crosshair wife and a Tech wife I wanted to invite any forlorn Tech kissers to the dark side by writing the least dark, most generous interpretation of Crosshair known to man LOL - also I made this take place during TCW but pretend Phee smooching Tech at this point makes any timeline sense sdlkfhl. please lmk what u think!!! Hope it's cute💖

Relationships: Crosshair x Fem Jedi!Reader, implied history of Tech x Fem Jedi!Reader (unrequited)

Summary: After seeing the clone you had your eyes on smitten with someone else, you head to 79's to drown your sorrows. An unlikely friend arrives to offer some comfort. (minor alcohol mention)

Word Count: 1.6k

Of all the places you’d hoped to be tonight, 79’s—all by yourself—had to be at the bottom of the list.

Sitting at the lonely bar, you frowned over the little martini glass swirling in your hand. You’d never been one for drinking, but if anything could compel you to take a sip of the stuff, it’d be the events that brought you here in the first place.

How could you have been so foolish? Maybe all those lessons you’d learned in the temple about forming attachments hadn’t been hollow talking, after all. You felt the lowest you’d ever been—worthless, alone… jealous. So very jealous.

“What are you doing here?”

That sly, breathy voice slithering into your ears could only belong to one person. When he took a seat beside you at the bar, you could barely manage a smirk in his direction.

“Hey, Cross,” you sighed. “Good to see you, too.”

Crosshair’s demeanor didn’t change in the slightest, but that much was normal for him. He kept his cards close to his chest—frankly, you could learn a thing or two from him in that regard.

“You’re drinking?” he observed, a hint of judgment buried in his tone. Bitterly, you rolled your eyes.

“Trying to. It’s not working out, though.” Languidly, you slid the martini glass over to him. “You make it look so easy.”

Though he caught the glass by the stem, he kept his eyes on you. You couldn’t bear to look at him. On missions, you always tried to look your squad in the eye when they spoke to you, to prove to them that you see them as your equals. Try as you might to continue that behavior off the clock, these were not ideal circumstances.

For a moment, the two of you fell silent. The low drone of music carried through the speakers, along with the chatter of the bar’s sparse attendance that evening.

“Is this because of Tech?”

Just hearing his name caused an uproar of emotions in your chest. Shame, sadness, insecurity, dejection. Though a soft chuckle parted from your lips, the heel of your hand wiped away the stray tear in the corner of your eye.

“I hoped it wasn’t that obvious…” you huffed. Crosshair hummed, idly pulling a toothpick from his belt and placing it between his lips.

“I don’t think I’d need a scope to notice,” he snarked. “What’s the problem, anyway? So he fancies someone. What about it?”

Your lip trembled, the weight of your thoughts much too heavy for your tongue to carry. It was already dangerous for a Jedi to have feelings like this, let alone for one of her soldiers. And while the Bad Batch was a bit more lenient with rules, you still felt you couldn’t be fully honest in these instances—for their sake as much as your own.

With a long sigh, you rested your head in your hands.

“I’m just… happy for him. That’s all,” you said.

Crosshair scoffed. “Clearly.”

“I am!”

“Look at you.”

“What do you want from me, Crosshair?!”

Your question came out louder than you’d expected. You looked around the bar, thankful that it held so few patrons that evening, though you were still embarrassed.

Crosshair, thankfully, didn’t seem disturbed by your outburst. He leaned in closer, looking you in the eyes.

“I want you to be honest with me,” he muttered. He jutted his finger against your sternum emphatically, “and with yourself.”

With misty eyes, you shook your head in defeat.

“I just… wanted him to like me,” you mumbled.

For the first time that night, Crosshair’s expression seemed to change. He leaned against the bar, his usually furrowed brow softening slightly.

“Tech?” he asked.

You nodded, drawing idle circles on the bartop with your finger.

“I always thought he was so sweet. I know the Order says it’s wrong, but whenever he would talk about… you know, anything, I just couldn’t help but fall for him,” you explained. “I never said anything because I didn’t want to cause problems—I’m his general, you know? I thought maybe when the war was over, I could finally tell him how I felt.”

Despite your best efforts, the slightest scowl found your lips. “But now this new girl’s here, and he’s just… smitten. It makes me wonder if he ever thought of me like that in the first place. And I…” You pinch your eyes shut, trying not to let your tears slip past. “I just feel… pathetic.”

Again, silence falls between you. The longer it lasts, the more humiliated you feel. It really would be just like Crosshair to listen to your little sob story and walk off without a word, wouldn’t it? Maybe the friendship you shared with him had been all in your head, too. Hell, maybe every last person you thought you were close with was just a surface-deep connection, and you really were alone…

“He’s a fool.”

You perked your head up, wiping your eye with the back of your hand.

“What?” you murmured.

Crosshair hummed. “You heard me.”

You pouted at him, giving his shoulder a light shove.

“Don’t say that—he’s your brother,” you scolded, “not to mention the smartest man in the galaxy…”

“I didn’t say he was stupid,” Crosshair corrected you. “He may be able to build a starship out of spare parts. But to blow his chance with you?” He clicked his tongue, shifting the toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other. “Foolish.”

A half smile found your lips. You knew you didn’t agree with him, and on any other occasion, you’d stand up for Tech. But just for tonight… just this once, despite every lesson on compassion you’d been taught since the day you arrived at the temple… it felt a little nice to hear.

“... thanks, Cross. It’s nice to know you care,” you said.

Crosshair’s intense eyes softened, his gaze leaving yours briefly. He almost looked… shy. But that seemed so unlike him.

“Well… someone had to step in,” he muttered. When his eyes met yours again, he wore a dry smirk. “Who knows how long you might have been moping otherwise?”

Your smile widened into a grin for the first time that evening.

“Right. That’s your job, isn’t it?” you snarked back at him.

Wordlessly, Crosshair got to his feet. When he started off in the direction of the door, you worried that your lighthearted jab had truly pissed him off. But before you could panic too thoroughly, he stopped in place, looking at you over his shoulder.

“Are you coming?” he asked. Caught off guard by his question, you quickly fumbled for your things. You dropped a handful of credits on the counter before hopping down from your barstool, hurrying to Crosshair’s side.

“Where are we going?” you asked, going in stride beside him.

Crosshair pulled the toothpick from his lips, flicking it expertly into the waste receptacle by the door. You walked outside, and the cool night air felt refreshing against your skin.

“I figured once you were done wallowing, I’d take you somewhere nice,” he explained, all too casual. “I’ll be damned if I spend a date in that run-down old bar…”

Date?

Now it was your turn to stop in your tracks. Crosshair walked a few steps further before noticing you hadn’t joined him. He stopped soon after, looking back at you again.

“What?” he asked.

“A date?” you returned softly.

The slightest pout formed on Crosshair’s features.

“Problem?” he asked.

Try as he might to put on that cool demeanor, you could read him better than that. In the Force, you could sense the way his heart raced in his chest, the quiet panic that built in the back of his mind.

But even without your Jedi abilities—even just as someone who’s known him as long as you had—you could see a side of him he never showed anyone. His eyes pleaded wordlessly with you: if you were to let him down, please don’t make him regret being so vulnerable. He made that mistake so rarely… and this time, he clearly hoped it wouldn’t be a mistake, at all.

To be honest, you had never looked at Crosshair with that kind of interest. Of course, every man in your squad was perfectly handsome, but with the sniper’s reserved and aloof nature, you’d assumed from day one that he tolerated you at best. But perhaps you hadn’t been looking closely enough. After all, he cared enough to watch over you on countless missions, clearing droids out of your proximity with unmatched diligence. He cared enough to follow you through short battles and long campaigns. And he cared enough to see that you were hurt tonight, giving you his shoulder to cry on.

No, you wouldn’t make him regret being vulnerable with you. In fact, you hoped you could help him see just how worthwhile it could be.

Finding a shy smile at last, you walked up to Crosshair once more—though this time, you hung on his arm as you joined his side.

“No problem at all,” you beamed. “Where are we headed then, handsome?”

You met his gaze, and his intense golden eyes looked back at you with the most sincerity you’ve ever seen from them. When he looked away at last, a flustered smirk appeared on his lips.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he snarked.

You rolled your eyes, though the bright smile you wore never left your face. Though the night hadn’t begun as you’d hoped, ending it on the arm of someone who could make you smile despite it all meant the galaxy to you.

You only hoped this could be the first date of many with the sniper who stole your heart.

AN: Thank you for reading! Like I said above, this is my first fic on tumblr, so any feedback on formatting/tagging etc is appreciated ✨✨

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