Tumgik
dreamingaboutsakuratrees · 14 minutes
Text
new ship dynamic called schrodinger’s divorce where characters are simultaneously bitterly divorced and fondly married for twenty years
58K notes · View notes
dreamingaboutsakuratrees · 14 minutes
Note
What if Janet went into Labor with Tim during a Wayne gala and Bruce helped deliver him, but Bruce didn’t realize Tim was the same baby
Until a random stakeout/confrontation with a villain/league meeting, he remembers suddenly and just straight up goes
“I birthed you”
He then starts to think back to all the other women he helped and like...
– Teenage Bruce stopping in the middle of his day to help Mary Grayson call the hospital when her water breaks in public
– His first test of people skills as Batman is looking after Sandra Wu-San, not knowing she'd become Lady Shiva
– A short while later Batman does the same for Sheila Haywood because Willis didn't bother to show up
– Arthur Brown being too absorbed in his scandals and early scheming to be present so Batman swoops in for Crystal
– Then Janet Drake going into labor at a Wayne gala and Bruce helping her through that
– Couple years later, Batman keeping Elaine Thomas company in the twilight hours
– He stops to help Talia amidst a dangerous battle, not knowing the baby is his and her maintaining the secret
– He gets sidetracked on a time travel mission and assists a stranger, not realizing it's Mary Pennyworth
3K notes · View notes
dreamingaboutsakuratrees · 35 minutes
Text
3 jokers au but dick and tim have both killed one of them after jasons death but told no one and then were horrified when HE CAME BACK.
jason comes back to life and kills the third one after realising bruce will never do it himself and theres no more joker and
dicks just like "how the fuck did it actually work for you"
jason "what"
tim "right like it didnt stick when i tried"
jason "WHAT"
dick and tim realising what theyve just said "wait i mean um"
Tumblr media
you killed the joker? but i killed the joker?
439 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
8K notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
8K notes · View notes
Text
Batman: I don’t kill. It’s wrong.
Batman three minutes later putting on spiked brass knuckles: anyway did I ever tell you about how Superman is a much better person than me?
664 notes · View notes
Text
Batman: I don’t kill. It’s wrong.
Batman three minutes later putting on spiked brass knuckles: anyway did I ever tell you about how Superman is a much better person than me?
664 notes · View notes
Text
AU where the real reason Ra's al Ghul has lived so long is because he's a vampire and they were just lying about the Lazarus Pits this whole time
Ra's is a vampire, Talia's a vampire, Damian's a vampire — Talia never actually dunked Jason in the Pit, she bit him.
They're all lying liars who lie and the League of Assassins is full of their thralls
Why lie? Because everyone knows about vampires and their weakenesses and this way no one will ever think to to use silver or garlic or wooden stakes against any of the al Ghuls
284 notes · View notes
Note
Hi Dami, hi Jon, I was waiting for you 🫶🏻 welcome! I'd like to know how much did improve your relationship since you first met :)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Don't worry, I reforged both the katanna (with the help of talia) and our friendship and they are both stronger than ever :) -Jon
340 notes · View notes
Text
whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision
126K notes · View notes
Text
shotgun!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
yanked these all out of my discard pile because they deserve attention too
masterlist
843 notes · View notes
Text
I love it when the batfamily is allowed to age.
And they are still fighting crime.
Part of the whole appeal is how they're just normal ass people without any powers, minus Duke, but still go out there stopping some major crime scheme.
Even better if you compare them to athletes or gymnasts, who retire in their 20's.
Has the batfam ever cared about this? No. So it's not stopping them.
And you know what would be even funnier?
If Bruce would be the last to retire. The one who started it all.
293 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
179 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Couldn’t resist when I saw THIS post by @freakly-fungi
Tim clothes’ thief confirmed, none of Bernard’s clothes are safe.
1K notes · View notes
Text
So in my class we name our glue sticks to stop the kids losing or mistreating them - they're much less likely to lose a glue lid if you're shouting "oh no, Alfred's been decapitated". It's fun.
Now, I'm a big batfam girlie ✨ so naturally I named all our glues after these characters. We have Richard and Bruce and Stephanie and Barbara etc. you see the point.
Recently, the first glue stick ran out. It had to go in the bin so unfortunately it "died", and you'll never guess which glue stick was the first to die...
It was Jason.
You could not conceive the sound I made as I had to throw Jason in the bin as all the children shouted things like "Jason's dead" and "noooo Jason!"
Worst things worse, I couldn't even explain how ironic that was that Jason, the second robin, was the first glue to go!
2K notes · View notes
Text
So in my class we name our glue sticks to stop the kids losing or mistreating them - they're much less likely to lose a glue lid if you're shouting "oh no, Alfred's been decapitated". It's fun.
Now, I'm a big batfam girlie ✨ so naturally I named all our glues after these characters. We have Richard and Bruce and Stephanie and Barbara etc. you see the point.
Recently, the first glue stick ran out. It had to go in the bin so unfortunately it "died", and you'll never guess which glue stick was the first to die...
It was Jason.
You could not conceive the sound I made as I had to throw Jason in the bin as all the children shouted things like "Jason's dead" and "noooo Jason!"
Worst things worse, I couldn't even explain how ironic that was that Jason, the second robin, was the first glue to go!
2K notes · View notes