misdre replied to your post:

i can help you because this is also a thing i’d want to do but the main thing stopping me is that i’m not very good at writing objectively about the characters

omg well to be fair anything is better than “rei is yin yang” or whatever the fuck is written on there right now!!!!!

after being reminded of its unfortunate existence earlier i went to see if absoluteanime (y’know, that database site that everyone used as a source for their anime info back in the primative years of 2003-2006 which was directly responsible for crystallising so much bad fanon) was still a thing and oh my god it is and this monstrosity is worse than i remember

borcloff......doraigaa..........

my personal fav: 

that’s not. his name

i knew this for some reason universally accepted bullshit spawned from somewhere

save him

why IS THIS EVEN ON HIS BIO

“forced into blading by his grandpa” god i too hate people

ik the captain thing is a dub created thing but was there any source ever for height and weight??????? i seriously doubt it. these made up stats are there for like every character btw i hate so much

ngl i’ve lowkey thought about making a project of cleaning up the beyblade wiki (like...getting rid of all the stupid fanon bullshit, making page layouts consistent, sourcing content to actual episodes, making it less ass-ugly) on more than one occasion but each time i remember that that is way too much effort to put towards something a whole 10 people probably care about it’s 2k16

I'm so glad I follow you now. More Beyblade back on my dash, it's been so long my dude.

welcome 2 my salty bey-corner friend

tbh i stopped using tumblr for the most part because of how shitty and unintuitive the site had gotten but the need to be emotional about spinning tops has brought me back and i am glad to be here!!!

misdre replied to your post:

THE FUCK IS “DR K IS REI’S MOM”

VAGUELY POPULAR CIRCA 2005 FANON. and also a huge. mistake

i have no idea why that was a thing but it sure was????????? i guess bc she had the black hair and same initial ‘k’????????? it didn’t help that the dub gave her a really husky (like...a smoker) voice so the idea that she was a deadbeat mom who abandoned rei in his village sure was a thing people wrote about 

*oh and as with all fanon things it was a thing i definitely saw people claim was ‘confirmed in the original version’

organising my notes for redoing bey band au and just chuckling at how this entire premise evolved from how when you think about it team bba has the same origin story as one direction

beyblade fandom things only 90s kids remember (except not because it's the year 2k16 and most of these are still front page ff.net):

universally accepted fanon surnames with no canon basis 

n e k o j i n 

rei is a girl. like not a trans headcanon or anything rei is just a girl everything else is completely unchanged

the actual girl characters are either hated and worthless OR suddenly better at blading than team bba 

but for the most part just so much girlhate so little time 

takao is fat jokes 

max's happy go lucky persona is actually a front for his hidden all consuming angst 

mpreg. so much mpreg. bonus points if its explained by way of holy beast/nekojin magic 

characters randomly speaking in their (google translated) native language for 2 lines a fic 

kai was sexually abused by his grandfather 

kai was best friends with yuriy/other borg members at the abbey. bonus points if they had a romance even tho they were like 6 

dr k (from vforce) is reis mom 

TakaoxOC KaixOC ReixOC MaxxOC 

violent seme kai 

kenny/daichi just not existing 

crossover fics with other things that were popular in 2003 like...LOTR 

[TEAM BBA MEMBER]'S LONG LOST SISTER

sometimes i think about how kai grew out? an actual mullet? for grev? in s1&2 his back hair is...short but at the ripe age of 13 he has a feral mullet his dorky 80s glam rocker aesthetic has come to a literal head and i love it

misdre replied to your post:

idk shit about the manga but the surname could maybe be mentioned there?? it would give some answers

i could check but im....doubtful. from my vague knowledge of the manga it’s very lucky for side characters to get first names let alone surnames i would be VERY surprised

misdre replied to your post:

the chen fucks me up because in grev it SOUNDS like they say chen but the screen says chou so i’m like.. which one fucked up here??? 

OH YEAH I DID NOTICE THAT....hm maybe i’ll forgive the fandom on this one then. cause usually their MO was saying so and so surname was canon in the japanese version but maybe. maybe they actually got this one from listening to it omg. still yeah text sure does say chou. which is the real it’s been 12 years will i ever know

fuck u im bringing this masterpiece back. my magnum opus

im so hyped and in the ZONE about spinning tops again now that im watching the grev subs and want to do things i could clean up my bey band au stuff or even....write fic.........but knowing my ass ill probably make more dumb amvs set to disney songs.

why are so many of the shitty fanon last names here as official tags on the beyblade ao3. look at this shit

it’s 2k16 will i ever be free

oh my god it’s been forever since i posted here but zia and i just got watching the grev subs (bless u misi) so i will probably be here again SO MUCH bc i am so enamored!!!! but first i had to suffer vforce and so i made this to commemorate...that. 

i was going to update the vforce drinking game with a new version but thought bingo would be more fun and family friendly - feel free to use it as a drinking game while watching vforce if you want to die though, which you probably will from watching vforce. 

because it looked like a bad cover for a garage band’s first cd

i see people talking about beyblade characters in eurovision and i feel a need to point out that this a whole important component of my boy band au. 

for people who don’t want to read the giant essay i wrote about it last year (i don’t blame you) tl;dr: in bey band au the team euro guys are all superstars in their home countries who represented said countries at the previous year’s eurovision and came in 1st-4th place. they’re very talented and have the potential to become international stars but none of them have much interest in getting into the whole working with a shit ton of managers and people bullshit.

olivier is one of those multi talented famous people who is like a pop singer/musician/actor/artist/chef/hosts his own cooking show/y’know the type i’m talking about. enrique/giancarlo is a a sleazy pop star who sings a lot of sexual shit that shouldn’t be allowed on day time radio but it is because he’s popular. johnny is a ROCK STAR who is very adamant that he is not a pop artist (so he’s just like kai) but hey he’s pretty good since he did manage to get UK (yes) runner up in a pop dominated competition with a rock song. and then ralf/robert is the perfectly talented but also stereotypical pop star who won eurovision for germany (you know the type) the end. 

they’re all huge dicks but all the fans in europe love them and are very stiff towards the bey boys (team bba band) when they try touring the region, for just being a worse version of their local stars. takao is determined to upstage them and win over a fan base and throughout the tour they do and kai out guitar-solo’s johnny and everything is stupid but it happens. kai hates europe so much.

that’s that but fast forward two years and eurovision becomes relevant again. the bey boys have broken up in a hilariously stereotypical band break up and decided to embark on their own careers as part of different acts. one of these is kai being the lead singer for the russian rock band, neo borg, who gets invited to represent russia in eurovision. kai still hates europe and everything in it including eurovision so he refuses, but yuriy sees the opportunity and figures they can just do it without kai (they really wouldn’t be able to because lbr kai is like all their talent). kai has no plans to actually participate until it comes out that the favorites to win are a band comprised of the barthez kids, representing [one of the countries they’re from idfk]. these guys had had a really shitty run with dodgy management and and had finally broken out of it thanks to takao (who is now an international mega star)’s help. takao had also made a public statement about how he saw potential in their talent and they’d toured with him for a while before deciding to go back and continue to build their career, hopefully looking to win eurovision. kai’s rivalry bullshit with takao ofc compels him to try and upstage miguel and co. (just like in canon) so he can show off to takao. with this in mind kai agrees to perform for eurovision at the very last moment and boy does he play his fucking heart out like never before and once again russia wins eurovision. kai hiwatari wins eurovision. everyone is stunned. yuriy makes the speech because he knows that if kai got to he would just say that he hated europe and dropped the mic and left. the point is this is the story of how kai hiwatari both went down in history as a eurovision winner and achieved his worst nightmare: captivating the hearts of everyone in europe, 

bladers hit ur ralfluigi WAH, bladers hit ur ralfluigi WAH, bladers hit ur ralfluigi WAH, cause europes full of giant dickbags, cause europes full of giant dickbags, dont believe me just WAH