Vampire Birthdays:

MM/SS:

Kane & Jim:

Shattered:

Vampires' view of springtime:

Kane & Jim:

MM/SS:

what if u hold raptor like chicken, like this

Cool acronyms aren't just for fiction anymore

nasa: we're going to shoot three rockets directly at the sun during the total eclipse. for study and research purposes.

me: oh cool

nasa: we have named the rockets apep. this stands for atmospheric perturbations [in the] eclipse path.

me: oh cool

nasa: apep is also the ancient egyptian deity of chaos and darkness, who ceaselessly seeks to extinguish the sun. we launch these rockets directly at the sun in the name of apep.

me: oh... cool?

The way my dad always told it was he wouldn't say the last line. He would just say "And then the man saw the source of noise, and was so amazed and delighted, that it made all those years counting grass and pebbles worth it."

Then he would just. Stop. And stare. He would look into your eyes and dare you to ask.

Then he would reply "I can't tell you. You are not a monk."

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk

Yo, ditto.

Cry of Fangs by @whumpy-writings arrived today!!

Vampires' opinion about wood:

Kane & Jim:

Shattered:

MM/SS:

Of Vampires and Men:

World heritage post

memeception

the wizard: and who is this Alexa you speak to? she is clearly a familiar, how can you claim to have no magic? she can change the lights, send instant messages, and remember your entire schedule

me: oh, she isn't magic. she is an AI

wizard: A - I?

me: an . . . artificial intelligence. . .?

wizard: . . .

me: . . .

wizard: YOU CAN MAKE AN INTELLIGENCE!!!

Fucked up how humanity discovered electricity and radiation and made machines and learned to make airplanes and cured diseases and our takeaway isnt that "Some Magic Is Real And Here's Why", but that magic is fake this is big boy science and it's totally not magical

The ACLU has launched a petition against Mastercard’s policies on adult content!

Mastercard put into effect a new policy regulating adult content sellers that makes it extremely hard for sex workers to earn a living online. It must be stopped.

The policy itself imposes strict and invasive requirements on adult content websites using Mastercard’s financial services – including pre-approval of all content before publication, forbidding certain search terms, and monitoring the age and identity verification process for all performers.

Americans sign here!!

I am one of these things

reblog if you are ASEXUAL, support ASEXUAL PEOPLE, or SECRETLY A DRAGON IN HUMAN FORM

Yummy sweet weapons

Post testing 1... 2... 3!

Just figuring out post features on mobile.

Please ignore this.

Fancy

⬆️I want to do this⬆️

Excellent song 🫰🏼

Vampire infants in my top 4 favorite vampire whump stories: (organized from least to most human-like)

MM/SS- https://www.tumblr.com/not-a-space-alien/745839687745339392/since-vampires-have-breasts-in-your-universe-do?source=share

Kane & Jim - https://www.tumblr.com/whumpsday/745803877318868992/do-vampires-have-breasts-in-your-universe-do?source=share

Shattered - https://www.tumblr.com/oddsconvert/745964896560218112/what-are-vampire-infants-like-in-shattered-do?source=share

Of Vampires and Men -https://www.tumblr.com/whumpy-writings/745875003511390208/do-vampire-infants-drink-milk-do-they-require?source=share

Thank you all for responding. I wanted to compare and contrast how vampires work in your different universes. I asked the question to all of you at the same time, because even though three of you have universes inspired by one another, I wanted to see if you would come up with different ideas.

If it is alright with all of you, I would like to do this again in the future. Focusing on aspects of vampiredom that aren't explored in any or most of your stories. Though, I will space them out, so I won't overload you.

If any of you want me to stop, I will stop. I could also add Cat & Mouse, since I believe it is in the same universe as Shattered, Kane & Jim, and MM/SS.

@whumpy-writings @whumpsday @oddsconvert @not-a-space-alien @t0rture-me

This amazing 🤩

You should be very proud: so here are emoji versions of major characters from both games

(I really struggled with Alphys, so I'll leave both versions)

IT'S DONE. Introducing MAP OF THE UNDERGROUND: YELLOW EDITION

Here's a project that I spent way to much time on, this map is sort of a sequel to my original Map of the Underground, but improved on so so many levels.

The Yellow edition is much more strictly isometric, depicts most of the outside rooms of both UNDERTALE and UNDERTALE YELLOW and importantly fixes some questions about the original undertale, like how you can see the castle from waterfall with hotland in the way.

(The image is in a metric format (A3, A2, etc) if you would like to take it to a print shop, if you do PLEASE SHOW ME. I would love to see.)

Close ups of each area underneath the readmore.

I spent so so so much time on this :sobbing:

Write a horror story in the format of an Internet search history

Me too. It's the best! 🧱🪓

I love when fiction makes the audience feel guilty about their role as the audience. When something fucked up is treated as a joke but later it's recognised how fucked up it was and the audience feels guilty for finding it funny. When a character breaks the fourth wall to plead for help, and you can't do anything so you just watch. And you know that the characters pain isn't real, but they're begging for help and you're not helping because their suffering is entertainment for you