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dragoninhumanform · 1 year

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Your writing is SO GOOD and this is so WELL MADE! It hurts like a punch to the gut while reading, but man this is SO GREAT but SO SAD

So I'm a sucker for Dadimus Prime, and a sucker for major angst, and I have had this idea for a while that...what would have happened if Bee had stayed dead, either forever or just for a longer period of time, after Megatron shot him?

How would the team have reacted to, and dealt with, such an event, and especially how would Optimus have reacted?

I always liked the trope where a usually stoic and collected character finally breaks after losing a child, and figured that for once I might allow myself to indulge in my guilty pleassure. :P

You are an individual after my own heart. I am also a great lover of Dadimus and that same trope. You came to the right writer with this request. But good gracious I suddenly feel the need to turn this into a one-shot or something.

Fallen Sunbeam

When Bumblebee was shot, Optimus felt his spark cry out in absolute agony. His only sparkling, his joy and hope for the future had been extinguished by the mech he had tried to redeem for millennia. He hardly registered what he was doing when he tore into Megatron, mercy and reason completely gone as one burning desire blazed in his spark.

Megatron would die, or Optimus would fall trying and join his sparkling in the Allspark. He did not care which option ended up becoming reality.

When he came back to himself he stood over the body of his foe as he kicked Megatron's corpse off his star saber where it was impaled. The body fell and the Decepticons fled without their leader to guide them. But Optimus merely stood on the edge of the Omega Lock for a long while, not moving as his spark wept and burned from the loss of his child. He clutched at his chassis and was distantly aware of the streams of coolant that trickled down his cheeks as the pain and emotional torment of his loss took its toll. He couldn't think, he couldn't act, all he could feel was overwhelming grief as he finally fell to his knees, still holding his chassis as he stared blankly out into the void.

He was not aware of it, but all around the team were in their own various states of shock and grief. Ratchet looked more lost than ever before, his optics blurring with coolant as he looked to where Bumblebee's body floated in the Cybermatter in horror. Arcee was distraught but stoic, not a tear was shed as she did her best to step up and gather the team with both of their eldest members being out of commission. And Smokescreen seemed to be in a state of shock, not believing that Bumblebee could really be gone even as he saw the body remaining lifeless in the pool.

After what could have been minutes or hours, all the team save Optimus came to at least recognize the loss and got to their pedes, ready to finish their quest in honor of their fallen warrior. Optimus was the only one who remained completely drowning in his grief and he did not budge until Ratchet came to him and held him as best as he was able while muttering sweet nothings to try and bring him back. It took a while, but the Matrix numbed Optimus enough that he eventually stood with Ratchet's aid and took a shuddering vent. With renewed, albeit grim resolve, Optimus went and retrieved his sparkling's frame and carried him back to base with utmost respect.

The omega lock was secured but ignored while Optimus brought his sparkling back to the base and laid his lifeless body on the medical berth for funeral preparations. With the war there was no opportunity to have proper funerals, but when it came to Bumblebee, Optimus was unwilling to only perform the bare necessities. Before the day was done, Optimus vainly scanned Bumblebee once more as if looking for a miracle. He received odd results that told him that Bumblebee's frame was technically alive in the same way that an unsparked protoform was. Bumblebee's frame could live again with no issues should a spark be introduced, but without that spark, it was essentially dead. As such Optimus grit his denta and gently covered Bumblebee's frame with a sheet while he began preparations.

The children were completely heartbroken when they returned from their own battle, saw Bumblebee's absence, and then his frame. Rafael was inconsolable and clambered onto the medical berth to hug Bumblebee's body even as Miko and Jack weakly tried to call him back. Ratchet was the one forced to remove him even as he too struggled to keep his composure. In the end the children and the team took what they needed onto the nemesis and set course for Cybertron, intent of finishing their mission to honor the fallen. Optimus only remained present while the coordinates were punched in, at which point he ensured that Bumblebee's body was safe in the nemesis's medical bay and retreated to continue his solemn work.

Ultra Magnus, Bulkhead, and Wheeljack were equally distraught up on seeing Bumblebee's frame. They did not cry nor did they make a sound, merely enduring the loss in silence so that others might grieve in peace. They would have their chance later, and so instead focused on trying to comfort the children as best as they were able.

Optimus was not seen for nearly three days. No bot was entirely sure what he was doing, but he sent a message to Ratchet over a private link asking him to clean Bumblebee's frame. That gave them a hint, but none tried to ask for further details as they worked and they grieved.

Ratchet blamed himself and spent many long hours crying as he did his best to focus on cleaning Bumblebee's frame and fixing it up, polishing and making it presentable. He had helped raise the youngling, he had stood by Optimus's side as a Nurturer for Bumblebee and a secondary caretaker when required. He had not bonded to Bee on the level Optimus had, but he still felt the agonizing loss of the bond he did have. Ratchet could hardly force himself to work with the crushing emptiness that came without the scout's presence weighing on him. But out of sheer devotion to the sparkling who should have never fought in a war in the first place, Ratchet pressed on and did what was required of him.

Arcee stood strong at first but broke after Optimus left to do whatever it was he was doing. She retreated to some unused quarters and cried long and hard, beating a punching bag until it broke as she sobbed and then destroying anything else within sight on until she literally shattered her servos. At that point she fell to her knees and cried until she had nothing left to give, eventually curling up on the floor emotionally exhausted. She did not go to Ratchet for medical aid and endured her pain without a peep as she grieved the loss of the brightest hope for the future in her life.

Bulkhead had his own emotional breakdown in another part of the nemesis. Wheeljack stayed by his side all throughout, comforting his friend and doing his best to reassure Bulkhead that it was not his fault and that there was nothing he could have done. Bulkhead appreciated the comfort, but it did not stop him from mourning for a day and then grieving alongside Miko for another. He had failed Bumblebee as a guardian and a teammate, and in doing so he had failed in his duty as a wrecker.

Ultra Magnus did everything in his power to shake off the grief, patrolling, guiding the nemesis toward Cybertron, and getting the Vehicons that were on their side in line and prepared to begin rebuilding Cybertron. But once he ran out of things to do, Ultra Magnus found himself at an empty desk in a far forgotten corner of the nemesis where he quietly grieved with his face in his servos. He made not a sound as his frame shook and coolant dripped onto the desk he sat at. Much like Ratchet, he had been there throughout all of Bumblebee's youth. He had seen the scout grow into himself and go through all his ups and downs. He had been a teacher to him, a guardian, and a replacement for Optimus when the Prime was out at war when Bee was younger. His spark ached and cried out at the emptiness that came from Bee being gone.

And then there was Smokescreen. The rookie was unsure how to feel for the first day after Bumblebee's death. He stood around and was left in a state of shock above all else, unsure where to go or what to do. Then when he lay down to try and recharge later that cycle, he found himself awake and aching in loss, missing the happy chirps of the mech he had come to see as a friend and brother during their short time together. He didn't recharge that night and instead found himself crying as the memories really hit him hard. He did no leave the room he had taken up residence in until long past noon either. He didn't want to.

As for Optimus? He hid himself away in a dark corner of the nemesis and there he first prepared himself for what was to come. In accordance to tradition, first he gave himself a day to grieve. He cried, he cursed Unicron, Megatron, and the universe at large, and then he sobbed himself into recharge. When he woke he removed every inch of color from his frame, his red and blue paint scrubbed and sanded off as a sign of mourning. Then once he was left in only the gray tones of the dead save for the glowing energon lines that crossed his frame, he painted murals upon his plating in black. Every mural depicted experiences he had with Bumblebee and his relationship to him. It was not necessarily an Iaconian tradition, and was in reality a mishmash of cultures from all across Cybertron. But to Optimus it felt fitting. Then to top it all off, Optimus carefully carved surface level scars around his optics and highlighted them in black. They would heal with time, but for at least a stellar cycle they would be a stark reminder of his loss.

Once Optimus was satisfied with his appearance, he gathered up his painting tools and went to he medical bay for the most important part of the process. He spent a day painstakingly painting glowing glyphs reading Bumblebee's every achievements and glory in life onto the scout's frame in glowing blue paint. Then he injected Bumblebee's body with a reasonable dose of energon to allow a faint glow to emanate from his frame, an event that spoke of what he looked like when he lived. Only once this was done did Optimus return to his team and stand before them in time for Cybertron to be restored.

The children were given the honor of pressing the activation key as none of the bots wanted to do so after the loss of their scout. Rafael ended up being the one to do it at Jack and Miko's prompting. The bots watched Cybertron's restoration with grim resolve, and then once complete, they too went to go and scrub their plating clean of color to emulate their leader.

Optimus personally carried Bumblebee's body to the surface of Cybertron and built a small altar for his frame to lay upon. Then in front of the whole team, Optimus laid his servos upon his sparkling's helm and there proclaimed him a warrior of Cybertron. After which he put the star saber in Bumblebee's lifeless servos and covered the altar in protective glass so that his sparkling's frame may not be harmed or damaged. The team bore witness to this stoically, their time for personal mourning having past.

Once Bumblebee was laid to rest, Optimus left to retrieve the Allspark immediately, unwilling to remain on the world that had so many bad memories and the body of his only sparkling. Ratchet returned the children home and remained on earth to process the loss and keep away from Cybertron for similar reasons to Optimus. Meanwhile the rest of the team stayed on Cybertron under Ultra Magnus's command and prepared for the arrival of refugees from the war. Time passed quickly and Optimus returned without issue, the Allspark in hand. The team were gathered again, and together the Allspark was returned in an explosion of newsparks.

The team celebrated, even Ratchet as they took the arrival of newsparks to mean the coming of a new age. Optimus on the other hand was almost bitter. He had given everything for this moment, but if he had killed Megatron sooner or performed better, his sparkling would still be alive. He couldn't find it in himself to be joyful as the newspark emerged and instead returned to the grave of his sparkling, unwilling to move on. The team let him and did not comment when he did not return to his normal colors, instead keeping the gray and continually highlighting his mourning scars even once the murals he had painted had washed off. They did not so much as touch Optimus when he fell at the foot of Bumblebee's grave and sobbed ugly tears, muttering over and over again one thing.

"We did it little warrior. Cybertron is restored... we've won..."

Optimus was not begrudged by anyone when he retreated from the team, shutting himself off near completely and instead throwing himself into restoring the one place he had truly seen as home. He returned to the remains of Iacon and worked in the hall of records, repairing and restoring what was lost. Then once it was acceptable, he moved Bumblebee's grave there, taking his covered altar deep into the archives where it would not be touched by mecha or the tests of time.

Cybertron grew around Optimus, the team working to establish a government and set things straight as refugees came and newsparks emerged. Optimus did his part when required, emerging from the hall of records and sharing the history of their world and stepping in to handle conflict when needed. But he never completely shed his gray paint or allowed his mourning scars to fully fade. He devoted himself to his work, not wanting to leave the place he had taken to be a sanctuary as a way to deal with his pain and the great many traumas that plagued him from the war. When he wasn't working or training apprentices, he was deep in the archives with what remained of his only sparkling. There he would speak of all that happened, telling Bumblebee what was happening on the surface and of all the changes that were happening.

Young apprentices swiftly learned of the warrior in the deep archives, and it became a right of passage to travel to see Bumblebee's grave and pay respects. An archivist who had finished their training would go to the altar on which Bumblebee's frame lay and there they would tell the fallen warrior their oath and their ambitions. Then if Optimus acknowledged their claim, they were recognized and told the stories of the fallen warrior before them. It did not take long for Bumblebee to be heralded as both a hero and a guardian of the archives due to both the stories and the star saber he held. None dared try and touch the relic and outsiders were never allowed near. Only the archivists saw the fallen warrior, for they knew how much he meant to Optimus. They respected the honor they were granted and they never once commented on Optimus's forever dark plating because of it.

But eventually the team worried for Optimus, and only grew more so once a full vorn had passed and Optimus had yet to move on. And so in an act of desperation designed to draw Optimus out of the shell he had built so thoroughly around himself, Ratchet came to his oldest remaining friend with a gift and a duty.

It was a dark day on Cybertron, the day of Bumblebee' death in fact when Ratchet came. He arrived at the archives with a small bundle in his arms and entered in without issue. The young archivists ushered him deep to where Optimus generally worked, and there they let him be. The Prime was mourning silently, his field held close as he worked and gently cleaned the glass that separated Bumblebee's frame from the outside world. Seeing this Ratchet sighed and pulled Optimus away, careful not to dislodge his precious cargo.

Ratchet: Optimus, it has been a vorn. This needs to stop... you need to let him go.

Optimus: I cannot do that... I failed him as both his Prime and his Sire... it is only right I remain in mourning to repent.

Ratchet: No Optimus. He wouldn't want that for you. He wouldn't want you to spent the rest of your functioning in the dark down here forever grieving his death.

Optimus: ...

Ratchet: Cybertron is restored. It's time for a new beginning, a new chapter in your life.

With his declaration made, Ratchet carefully passed his small charge to the Prime whose optics blew wide at what he saw. Bundled up in organic made cloth was a small sparkling, hardly a few cycles old and with plating still soft to the touch. Already the sparkling's armor was a shining red and orange, bright and powerful like a flame in the gloom of the deep archives. The sparkling cooed upon seeing Optimus's face, little sparkling fangs on display as the little ones optics glowed with innocence.

Optimus wanted to object and give the sparkling back. He had failed once after all...

But as the sparkling held onto one of his digits with such purity and joy, Optimus felt at peace for the first time since his firstborn had fallen. It still didn't feel right. He still couldn't be completely content with himself, not after Bumblebee's death. But... as he looked upon the sparkling, he found himself wanting to try again, to give this sparkling the life he couldn't give Bee.

Ratchet: You will take him?

Optimus: ... I will.

Ratchet: What is his name?

Optimus: His name... his name is Hot Rod. My blazing flame, my new hope for the future.

#so mad at myself for not seeing and rebloging this earlier #i love optimus & bee writing sm #on one end they can have all this heart-warming father & son stuff #on the other end they can have SO MUCH ANGST

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