when your sorry excuse for an ex likes your romantic posts ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2184 hours in 2016!

still haven’t got a record player for this bad boy

when u can’t say anything bc u don’t wanna sound rude but u feel offended so u just scream on the inside for a thousand years

Tumblr is weird because some people are freshmen in high school and some people have already graduated college and have a job and we’re all just conversing like age isn’t even a thing.

I just got myself back up again and I'm just going to continue to fall apart..

My favourite thing is when someone says, “I think about you a lot,” or “I had a dream about you,” or “I was just about to text you,” or something because the fact that I occur to someone when I’m not talking to them or anything is the best thing.

what i say: im sensitive

what i mean: my mental illness throws everything out of proportion and my emotions are extremely unpredictable and even the slightest thing going wrong literally makes me want to die

Where are you from

Arizona

You tell yourself that it's going to be quick and painless, it'll all be okay once it's all over. You can't comprehend the current events happening, you just want it to be done. The first time around wasn't enough, so you increased each dosage. You keep going until the bottle is empty. Now all that's left is for you is to wait it out. Wait until it finally takes over you. You end up puking it out, sometimes it doesn't even have any effect on you. This goes on for 2 years until you decide you finally want to stop and get better. For a little bit over a year, you struggle to not go back to your old ways, no matter how hard it is. You always have the thought behind your head, "what if they're just like everyone else and leave?" And maybe you thought right, maybe you thought wrong. The pills have your brain all jumbled up and out of order. Sooner or later, it keeps calling your name back. Your skin will burn over the fact that you haven't tasted it in oh so long. It's your only friend that will understand you. Now you really messed up this time; you start to lose your memory. You begin to question things such as, "is this even real?" Or "did this really happen?". You can feel yourself go insane, until you taste the fire of alcohol at 6:53pm because you finished arguing with someone. You start to remember. You start remembering all the pain you've endured and how uncomfortable you are with life again. You go on a late night drive, thinking, passing by your ex's house shouting nasty things. But in reality, all you did was pass by and didn't say a thing. You insist that you're doing just fine but that is a lie. You go home and consume whatever is left and the same feeling you used to have is back. "Welcome home, I've missed you" says the drugs. You consume every last soul that was in the tiny orange bottle and it hits you so hard. There's no turning back now. None of it. The outcomes doesn't matter. You say your goodbyes once more, but you change your mind at the very last second. The vision in your eyes begin to fade and your heart slows down, you run to the bathroom and puke it out once more, but maybe not enough. This time around it burned, everything on the inside burned. You hope you can sleep it off, but you can't. You think it's painless, but the tears running down your own mother's face when you tell her you aren't happy anymore and the crack of your friends voice at 1am haunts you. You can't feel anything anymore. You're stuck with this numb tingly feeling. It won't go away. It won't. This is what addiction is like. Addiction is the worst thing anyone could go through. Don't you ever start it. You're destroying everything around you, it ruins how you function. It doesn't matter if it's over some heartbreak or idiots telling you to die. Don't you ever start. I can't reverse this. My heart could stop at any moment and I live in this fear. Don't.

What I've learned from overdosing dozens of times.

I don’t love you anymore.