at the moment , you want ...

tagged by: @beaniestm tagging: all y'all on the dash

to be free

you've been trying to leave for so long. something is keeping you there, like being chained, or locked in. in the moment, you feel trapped. your heart desires to feel freedom, and this could be physical or mental, or even both. physically. you may be truly trapped, confined in a situation that seems to have no end, or even trapped in your own emotions. you desire to let go, to feel free once again and at peace. there are ways to free yourself, all hope isn't lost.

it isn't fair to her. and there's a part of him that aches for because, as it turns out, they're not so different after all. they've both had these expectations that they've tried to meet, or try to shrug them off like they don't matter to them at all. this is all easier said than done, of course. however, pete would've assumed nothing of the sort, before today. he always assumed that, as the mayor's daughter, stephanie lauter had her life cut out for her. she has friends, family... family with status, namely. sure, she isn't exactly struggling for money and things could be worse in that aspect, but none of that diminishes what she's going through right now. and that he feels like he needs to help her. he wants to help her, whether that be as a study partner or... a genuine friend. someone that could be relied on.

"you're smart." pete thinks-- no, he knows that she's smart. he doesn't know how to fully express it, other than the blunt words he believes in, because sometimes he struggles with sentimentality. he feels his cheeks begin to burn, but he keeps his eyes on the road ahead of them, clears his throat and grins. "i know that i'm the one who needs glasses here, but you'll see that too, one day. it doesn't have to be today." he doesn't want to pressure her, but there's an earnestness to his words. even if there's that lingering thought in the back of his mind that his words might not even mean that much to someone like her. he's just a nerd helping her out with a hard time and when she gets the grades that she wants, or her father approves of, then who is to say that they would maintain a relationship? and

why does that thought sting a little? he tries to shake the feeling off, setting on a shrug after a beat or two of silence. "we all have our off days."

yes, she knows that she needs to study, but steph doesn't know if she should dread the library because her brain's scattered or look forward to trying to have some sort of a distraction. normally she would find herself being able to laugh at the sentiment, or perhaps she would have been able to make some sort of cocky comment back, but steph just feels heavy and out of her mind- guilty too. she doesn't like to be like this in front of anyone and her father was a well kept series of secrets, like most things in hatchetfield. max knows. now pete knows and there isn't the same tension, instead this guilt strikes her and feels worse at his tone... the way he says her name should comfort, normally she likes the way he says that nickname compared to everyone else who is a 'friend' but now it only makes this guilt grow. she didn't want him worried- not that she's doing much to tuck possible worry away with how she's acting. she doesn't know how to turn her brain off in the moment, though, trying to focus on her angry, racing heart, fingernails dig into her thigh and she lets her eyelids close, trying to get a fucking grip and not expecting him to keep going, but he does, and she listens without looking at him.

---she finds herself thankful for where her glance is very quickly the moment he expresses this confidence and there's this part of her that wants to laugh, to call his bullshit. instead, she's opening her eyes, trying to find his facial expression in the back of vision, trying to figure out if she can believe him, if he's just saying it, why he is. for a moment she let's the quiet linger before she shrugs a little bit. " i wish i had your confidence. " a statement that would be almost funny if she lingered on it. she doesn't though, she quickly moves into a explanation, he's own that at least. " 'getting there' for my dad would be a's. i mean if they actually better i am sure he will get off my ass for a second but it won't last. " that, what he heard, it would happen again. a c, which was all she was aiming for, might be passing, but she still had to live up to the lauter expectations and there was oh so many other ways she was flunking everything he wanted her to be that she wasn't. she looks from the passenger out the main window, watching pinebrook get further and further away and not closing herself off but still keeping her expression as numb as she can. sometimes i worry you're just wasting your time. a phrase on the tip of her tongue but she does not allow it to slip. instead, she continues. " i'm tryin'. i think you're the only person who knows i am trying. don't know how good i am going to do today, though. "

just hearing @crisisbabe cackle like two feet away from me when i post something for them <3

they've been friends for as long as either one of them can remember. it doesn't really matter how it all started, or why it had-- all that matters is that they've had each other, through thick and thin, years and years of bullying that they had been subjected to almost the entirety of their lives. that is, until college. they're in college now and although peter doesn't want to jinx it; they're actually doing well for themselves, in classes that they enjoy and they make the time to hang out. they do all of this, even going to parties together, without the fear of getting their asses handed to them. what a concept.

instead, tonight, there's slight concern buzzing underneath his skin, mixing with the alcohol, as he follows his best friend, richie. the edges of his vision are a little blurry and he's getting tired-- not bothering to check his watch how late it is, but mostly because he wants to keep an eye on richie, who has led them to a playground. he follows in the other's footstep, but with his arms outstretched, in case richie falls -- not that he'd be capable of catching him, if anything, they'd both collapse to the gound. but if richie can manage getting up onto the jungle gym with what appeared to be ease, then maybe it wasn't that big of a concern.

pete doesn't realize how close he's gotten to richie until the moment that he's being kissed, his shoulders tensing and finding himself frozen for a fraction of a second. he sways every so slightly in place, his arms still held out in front of him. the kiss had been unexpected, but... it wasn't... bad? richie tastes like alcohol, duh, but he doesn't pull away. instead, he reaches up to grasp one of richie's arms, afraid that he'll be the one to lose his footing, and kisses his best friend back.

@dorkustm sent [ spiderman ] an upside-down kiss, just like in the movie

oakly park looks different at night , or maybe it's less about it being night and more about him been sliiiiightly drunk. this whole being invited to parties thing is still new. and the most richie's ever used to drink is a little shot glass of wine here and there. but tonight , oh tonight , the party had soju ! and he had had.... so much before stumbling out of the party , sweaty and tired but also just filled with a joy for life. for being alive. for getting to live in this town. he doesn't know why pete's trailing worriedly behind him , he promises he's okay. all smiles , the cool night air hitting his sweaty skin just right.

he's talking , not even sure what he's talking about , but it feels nice to be out here with pete. he knows he's not always the coolest friend , but pete's never judged him and he loves him for that. he loves him for some many reasons. and-- is he saying that out loud ? richie stops a moment , face screwed up and head swimmy. but then his eyes land on the playground. " look peter ! " he points excitedly and begins to run sloppily , because he hasn't been here in years , but suddenly the idea of climbing on the jungle gym seems like the best thing ever.

he doesn't even have to go on his tip-toes anymore to reach the bars , grabbing tight and beginning to rock back and forth , legs up , gaining momentum until-- he's all gangly limbs and elbows and knees, but it's like riding a bike , and in a dizzying display his legs are over and looped through the bars , head swaying upside down as the world spins beneath him. except pete. pete's there and stable and he's just-- richie is filled with some much adoration. and he doesn't know why he does it , doesn't even know HOW he manages it , but the other boy's face is so close all it takes is a little straining forward and-- richie's upside down smile reaches pete's lips , and he kisses him. he kisses his best friend.

don't BULLY ME---

come out of your room brother. you are missed. 🙏

another update! there have been a few bumps in the road and while i've been slowly but surely writing, still in process of figuring things out! my pc is mostly set up now, altho there's another box that's yet to arrive :) i'm more AROUND between my phone and my pc since my laptop is such a pain in the ass to use, it's SO old

abstinence camp is finally over-- well... almost, because peter spankoffski's left waiting on the outskirts of camp for his older brother to pick him up. ted's late, not that that's a surprise to him, given how eager ted had been to drop him off quite a bit away from camp itself. and it hadn't taken long for him to understand, although camp had been excruciatingly long for reasons that he didn't think either one of the brothers could've anticipated. the so-called lumber axe who hates sexy time actually existing, almost having killed him and the new friend that he made at camp, as well as grace chasity. he fucked up his leg weeks ago in a stupid move to impress his new friend and he hadn't been allowed to seek medical attention. seriously, fuck camp idontwannabang and fuck grace chasity.

except the last thing he would want to do is fuck grace chasity. she wasn't his type, hell no, and he was having a hard enough time as is having to tiptoe around stephanie lauter with the threat of that thing that has probably killed countless kids at this point. he couldn't stop thinking about it-- her. the way that steph tried to protect him, the way they were seconds away from going at it in the boys' washroom, and their kiss.

he tries not to think about it all as he sits on a bench, with steph, waiting for his brother-- or her dad, to pick one of them up and officially call it an end to their summer. it isn't that hard to keep himself distracted, finding himself talking about the dumb stories that his brother has told him about abstinence camp, when his brother was his age. that is, until he's looking at her and she's suddenly a lot closer than he thought she was and he stutters, trailing off mid-sentence as he automatically assumes he's about to be kissed. and damn, does he want to be kissed again. his eyes close... but nothing.

"huh?" a strained breath escape pete, brows furrowing before he opens his eyes, and he feels his cheeks begin to burn with how close she's gotten. and how ridiculous he feels that he actually thought she was going to kiss him again. goddammit. "no, i don't..." he starts slowly and shifts ever so slightly, digging his phone out of one of his pockets and holding it up between them. "do you... do you want me to have your phone number?"

stephanie lauter knew in her gut before coming here that abstinence camp was going to be nothing short of hell, but nothing prepared her for just how much of a nightmare that it actually was - is. they are still there and even with grace chasity having been the first one to get picked and them being the last ones waiting to be picked up. they aren't alone though, she knows it, and she knows that he knows it just as well. through most of the summer they have been dancing around things- they have had to, both with grace and lumber axe around every corner steph is sure if they even spoke about what had happened or well, the many things that were happening, the heavy feelings and tension that she has been feeling and is certain he has been too. it was a different kind of hell, trying to be there to help him get around with his leg, to be there for without being there like she wanted but for the sake of not getting fucking axed, she's felt herself pulling back a little and she hates it- here is this boy who she likes and can do nothing about it. maybe it's because she hasn't processed everything else, but that might have been the actual worst part about this bullshit. that is what is she's thinking as they sit and wait to be picked up.

despite finally fucking having her phone back after a hellish summer, it is tucked firmly in her pocket and has been since she has gotten it. peter spankoffski holds her entire attention, finally feeling some ease as she watches the chasity's drive away, scooting slightly closer to pete the minute it's out of eyeshot and continuing to just enjoy this, him, the air around them finally with one of two threats gone. what they are talking about steph is only partially aware of. time seemingly bouncing back and forth between speeding up and slowing down, but it really feels like for a moment she could forget about lumberaxe, forget about school starting up and what that might mean for... whatever he wanted this to be. her mind reeling as she tries to keep up with conversation. she thinks she is managing pretty well... at least until her eyes, trying to maintain eye contact, moving to lower to the ground instead look at pete's lips.

despite best effort, her cheeks gain a bit of a blush grows on stephanie lauter's face but her eyes don't move away for a moment longer, not looking down and instead looking in his eyes with what can only be described as a smitten smile ( but a dead giveaway that she has no idea what they were saying ) . her hand reaches out to tuck a loose strand of hair of hair behind his ear. she leans closer-

--- and stops. embarrassment filling her cheeks. best not tempt it right?

instead, she tries to recover, still lingering so close. " ... uh... do you have my phone number? "

﹟  almost kiss﹕ one  time  sender  &  receiver  almost  kissed . --- @dorkustm !

@clickedbait , get your ass back here, norman, cont. from here

pete eventually opens his eyes to look across at the other, and he does his damnedest not to appear irritated. but, of course, he's irritated. he didn't need a lecture from norman fokker, of all people, he understands how these things are supposed to work. he isn't entirely convinced that norman isn't giving him a hard time, just for the hell of it. he clasps his hands in front of him, then takes a deep breath.

"okay..." his own voice cracks in frustration, he clears his throat. "i know... theater and clubs aren't that impressive, but you have to admit, there are transferable skills there. communication? team collaboration?" god, he sounds so pathetic, bargaining with a pizza pete's employee like this. but he attempts to summon a polite smile. "at the very least, you can call me a fast learner. everyone knows that."

workin' boys spoilers down below btw

was just thinking about how it's all "tee hee the nerds don't actually care for each other they're friends out of convenience" and yet richie showed up to support ruth and appeared to be genuinely supportive of ruth. that being said this furthers the peter spankoffski would sell his besties for a shitty hot cocoa argument, can't even show up on opening night

OR that the people prefer ted spankoffski

we want what you really want. you can't lie to us, steph. you can lie to yourself, but not to me. think about it...

constructive criticism, although not all that important to him within the context of applying to a job at pizza pete's, is appreciated. what isn't appreciated, however, is what sounds a lot an excuse that leaves the other's lips. both of peter's brows lift, one of the corners of his lips tugging up upwards for a fraction of a second, amused, before fading as quickly as it had appeared.

"you're messing with me, right?" but the longer that he looks at norman and that obnoxious stache, the less he's convinced. "you're... not messing with me. yeah, dude... i'm a high school student. i've been focused on, y'know, school?" his eyes close and one of his hands reaches for his glasses, pushing them up and pinching the bridge of his nose with his other hand. "besides, it's pizza pete's. how much work experience do you even need to work at pizza pete's?"

Norman worked hard for his age with three different jobs under his belt and a volunteering gig at the theater. He knew a thing or two about work ethic and where to find it in someone. It wasn't that Spankoffski didn't have that ethic, in fact-- Norman was sure if anyone was going to take the job seriously it'd be him. But truth be fucking told... Norman didn't like Peter Spankoffski. There was something about the nerd that bubbled and boiled the blood under Norman's skin, and at times that cracked broken voice would be like nails on a chalkboard to him. Not that he had much room to talk--

The question asked of him has him pausing, eyes flicking to the application on the table in front of him then back to the other sat across in the opposite booth. The bustle of Pizza Pete's was ever underway, but Norman was easily ignoring it. He was used to all the noise. "Well," his voice finally spilled out, "first of all it says here you don't have any prior work history--"

attempts to write will continue to be made, however!! now that i've bought the ticket :) life update! i'm hauling ass out of state at the end of next month. i'm super excited and nervous and my activity has been all over the place in general but now it's happening, so you know how it be

call me an elitist bc it's all about the Aesthetique

if you're curious i AM team pete, ruth n richie aren't actually best friends canon but that's boring to write so i choose to ignore it

"... ted!" is isn't that he's at all surprised that these are the words that are leaving his brother's mouth but maybe-- just maybe, he thought that his brother would be capable of being normal about something like... this. the joke's on him, as usual, he supposed. pete can't help but wince at that, a roll of his eyes following shortly after. "that's not-- this isn't a situationship, or whatever you think it is. i'm not... that isn't exactly my style, okay?" he'd like to say that he felt confident in himself and that choice, but for a lack of better words, he wished that wasn't the unfortunate case. ted can go to hell for teasing him about it, though.

Ted winks at his brother, the implication of it enough for the other to pick up on. He had meant what he said and meant how it sounded. There was a time and a place to present your dick to your date, but you had to just find the right moment. Most first dates could easily wind up in a sexy state if you played your cards right and truly, it'd only been a few times where it hadn't worked out in his favor. Mind you these housewives already invited him to their bed before he ever whipped it out-- the first date usually taking place in the woman's bedroom.

"I just mean that there's a time and a place and if that is the first date then so be it," he shrugs, "Nothing wrong with getting your dick wet that early on in a situationship or whatever you wanna call it."

pete's sympathetic, but he isn't ungrateful. a shrug of his shoulders accompanies that small smile that he wears, before the eye contact that they share is too much and his gaze drops to the books between them. his hands lift to tidy up their workspace, shuffling papers around, almost out of habit. "i know it makes me sound like... y'know, a complete nerd." not that his signature look-- color-coordinating suspenders and bow-tie, no less, would help him out. "i like to study." he thinks about it for a second or two longer, then he shakes his head. "no tutor. i kinda like to do things myself. there are tons of resources out there, though. textbooks, practice exams... that sort of stuff helps."

anxiety is a bitch , and also , quite possibly , her closest friend. she's been working hard to change that , but it's so easy to fall back into the old traps. the overthinking , the self deprecating thoughts , the fidgeting. it had gotten better in the past couple of years and then evaluna-- mira blinks , trying to chase away the thoughts and force herself to stop tapping the damn pencil. she swallows and smiles over at the boy , trying really hard to feel it. " i'm sure you could probably find something better to do than tutor me , but-- thanks. " the thanks she means fully. she's still gonna venmo him , though. try and stop her , spankoffski. closing the workbook , mira thinks for a moment and then asks , " did you have an SAT tutor ? "