Songs have lyrics with them 🙃

Moss grows for sure on a stone that doesn’t roll If you know you can’t go back, now you can win over all those mistakes Never mind It’s not easy, but engrave it on your chest If you seem like you’re going to crash, step harder, kid Come on Never mind x2 No matter how thorny the path is, run Never mind x2 There are a lot of things in the world that you can’t help, you better Never mind x2 If it seems like you’re going to crash, step harder, kid Never mind x2 We’re too young and immature to give up, kid

- The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Never Mind by BTS

This is lame but still funny.

Describe the one thing that gives you the most comfort.

If you read my previous post, you would know that I have been through a lot in past. Comfort is not something that be easily accessible. People can’t comfort you. Only if someone understands what you have gone through and feel the same pain you have felt, that is when I believe they can comfort you. In my case people do comfort me but it’s not people I know, it’s singers/rappers who comfort me. My favourite rapper is Eminem and my favourite singer/group is BTS (Hangul: 방탄소년단; RR: Bangtan Sonyeondan), aka Bangtan Boys, a seven member South Korean boy group.

Eminem is known to be a psycho, a person who talks badly about other people, a person who can be funny in a scary way. He has been through a lot and I can relate to it, not completely but some parts to it. Sometimes it just feels nice to have someone who feels the way you do. I have been listening to Eminem since the seventh grade when I was introduced to the world of music. BTS, since their debut have spoken about social issues, in a society that talks about sex, money and love and, I found BTS’ music to be touching. Despite the language barrier of the music being in mostly korean, the messages were relatable. Since debut they’ve spoken about happiness, school bullying and I forgot the other theme but this was all in their School Trilogy. Then they spoke about coming about age struggles in their The Most Beautiful Moment in Life era and later went on to speak about temptation and the different types of temptations people go through in life with their wings album. Each album, they have spoken about issues no one bothers speaking about nowadays and not only do they speak about them, they also include their own stories to the songs. Recently they began their Love Yourself era and this is pretty important because I honestly think it’s hard to love yourself and I hope in this journey with their music I will learn a thing or two about myself.

Music is my way of coping and getting comfort, knowing that someone else has pain gives me comfort. I know what you think isn’t that kind of sadistic but it’s the truth. The comfort that I’m not able to obtain from my parents, siblings, friends and people I know, I’m able to attain it from music. Both BTS and Eminem, give me a peace of mind. I’m able to laugh, cry, smile, be happy and be depressed when I listen to their music. I’m able to comfortably feel these emotions. I’m always thankful for having music and equipment to be able to listen to it.

What is something special/different about you? Why do you think it is special or different?

What makes me unique from everyone else that I know, would be my past, my history. My past is not special but it is different. Those who know my past, say it sounds like a movie and I am the protagonist. From having family problems, to being bullied, to having amnesia, to being depressed, I have experienced it all. To be honest I can’t believe it myself, the things I went through, they are so unimaginable to me. I won’t go into much detail about my past but I can say all my experiences have created the person I am right now. You would say that, “that’s how it’s like for everyone” however, I’d like to tell you that my personality is unique. You might even think I’m bipolar. I know, I know, one shouldn’t use disorders and diseases to make a point but you might understand why I said that, once I tell you how I am.

So, at the moment I can only think of four words to describe me: timid, boisterous, impetuous, expressive. Timid (showing a lack of courage or confidence; easily frightened) and boisterous (noisy, energetic, and cheerful; rowdy), the complete opposites? I know that is exactly what you’re thinking. But that is why I said you might even think I’m bipolar. Sometimes, I am scared, like really scared. I’m scared about my future, scared of people and scared of things in general. Other times, I don’t think about what’s going on and live in the moment. You would say, “well doesn’t everyone act like that?” But I’d like to add that this is not like once in a while I’m scared, it’s basically everyday. When I wake up, I wake up scared and maybe the next hour I don’t care at all. Maybe because I am impulsive about things that I just live in the moment, I don’t know. So, from the beginning of my personality, I’m an a cheerful person and I am fairly expressive. People say they can tell what I’m feeling based on my face. I don’t really agree, I would say it’s an illusion. Actually not too long ago, I wrote a poem in my journal for a character in a book but I also feel the same way.

Black & White

Everything is black and white, nothing new, same old same old.But, the me inside does not remain black and white.The smile you see on someone can be one that is not of genuine happiness.However, no one is able to notice that.They notice if the smile is not there.Little do they know that the neutrality of the face is more genuine than the smile.

Okay, now that you read my poem, I think you might understand why I disagree. So my point is that my past has made the person I am now which is what makes me different from everyone else.

Adorable

13/04/18

I will break free from the chains that make me a prisoner because I was too selfish before and I wanted to be chained. I did not think of the others who rely on me. So I will do my best to break free from the chains that bind me to the stone. I will try to turn around and see the other half of the cave.

(IRT: Allegory of the Chain)

The leaves are able to survive and grow even after a long and harsh winter season. However, even after many hardships not everything and everyone is able to survive, let alone grow. - Deluxna

Saddest Poem - Pablo Neruda

This poem was my least favourite of the 5 poems I’ve read so far.  In my opinion, the title Saddest Poem does not fit the poem.  However, it doesn’t mean that the poem isn’t good or sad.  I just believe that there are more sadder poems out there.  There were a few lines that gave me an interest. On nights like this, I held her in my arms. I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky. In the form of imagery, a romantic scenery is displayed through words by the narrator.  He holds his love in his arms under the beautiful night sky which is very beautiful to imagine.  I read and watch a lot of romantic books and movies, so I was easily able imagine this scene.  The infinite sky creates a feeling that all the time in the world has stopped when he is with her which is very romantic.  I myself have never loved anyone in a romantic way but this feeling which the narrator has with his beloved is something I wish for.  He feels as though all good things in life last forever.  In this era of ours, a loving relationship is displayed as a dangerous and toxic one or forbidden one, a relationship that gives you a thrill.  However, this love that the author portrays is one that makes the other feel protected, and safe.  Although people have many perspectives on love and I have never loved anyone so I wouldn’t know how it would feel.  I cannot say how a loving relationship is supposed to be, a dangerous and toxic one or a safe and protected one.  However, I would like to think that I have an idea of how it would be.  I think that when you meet the right person you will feel as though there is no place you’d rather be, and there is no one else you’d rather be with.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her. I don’t think this relationship is a loving one.  If you “sometimes” love someone then it is not love, is what I believe.   Love is a huge commitment; it is not a word that we throw around casually.  Although love is not something that can be expressed easily and saying ‘I Love You’ is not easy either, to love someone sometime is impossible.  I don’t think you can stop loving someone which means you either love them or don’t.  So, when the narrator says “sometimes I loved her”, either he is just thinking back to the times where he might have had a few little fights with her or I’m wrong and he doesn't actually love her.  

Love Never Dies

Although we are separated from people we love, the love is always there.  At the moment, my mother is in a different country and I have never been separated from my mom since I was born.  My love for my mom is with me all the time which is why I am not so sad. If I miss her too much, I watch videos I took of her when she was at home.  She calls time to time but she isn’t able to talk to me all the time and for every long either. Love is beyond a physicality, its is like a soul, a soul is not physical either.  We might miss someone extremely because we cannot see or touch them, but the memories we had with them are already a part of us. Even if we cannot remember their faces and voices, we will have that feeling of love because love never dies.

The History Of One Tough Motherfucker - by Charles Bukowski

The came to the door one night wet thin beaten and terrorized a white cross-eyed tailless cat I took him in and fed him and he stayed grew to trust me 

More than now, it is in human nature to disregard whatever it is, that does not have any importance to us.  When a person sees a stray cat they may have the idea of taking it in to their home and taking care of it.  However they think of their own struggles and such, to eventually forget and give up on that idea.  But, the author took the cat in to his home and treated it.  Even if you are the most kindest person you may not want to take in a cat that is cross eyed and tailless.  The author however did not care and took it in.  This action itself says so much about the author because most people would think that taking in the cat was a huge deal itself and to be honest it truly is.  But he still feed it and looked after it as if the cat was his responsibility.  This cat was given an opportunity to be treated like a human and it grew to have human qualities such as trust.  The beginning of the poem made me think about people who live on the streets as well as animals that live on the streets.  Not everyone is as kind as this author to take in people or animals.  Even pet owners sometimes would leave their animals in the garage during the winter.  In this world or in this time period, many people do not have consideration for others or things in general.  You see a homeless person on the street and you think that he is just a drug addict needing money.  Empathy and consideration are common characteristics.  To people who do not have the characteristics the stray cat can be a homeless person and it wouldn’t make a difference to them.

I took what was left to a vet who said, "not much chance...give him these pills...his backbone is crushed, but it was crushed before and somehow mended, if he lives he'll never walk, look at these x-rays, he's been shot, look here, the pellets are still there...also, he once had a tail, somebody cut it off..."

Considering the title you would think about the poem is about a human being. But this poem goes to show that no matter who or what it is, everyone and everything struggles because life itself can be a struggle sometimes.  This cat has been in many struggles just by the description given of having been shot before and one having a tail and somebody cutting it off, you can tell that it has gone through so much.  To you this problem or struggle may seem to be on a small scale but to the cat the problem is on a life size scale.  Thinking of the cat and thinking of the physical scars that were described, makes me wonder about people who have similar scares as the cat that not physical.  When these physical scars of a small cat are unnoticed, can scars of human beings be noticed?  Whether it’s physical or emotional scars are hard to be noticed if we believe that they are not important.  If we see a homeless person and a stray cat our priority would be to help the homeless person.  Since we are humans and that cat is an animal we think that we are superior to the cat and we would be more entitled to anything than the cat would be.

it's then that the interviews end although I am proud sometimes when I see the pictures later and there I am and there is the cat and we are photo- graphed together. he too knows it's bullshit but that somehow it all helps.

The narrator and the cat have a mutual understanding for each other.  He treated the cat as a human would treat a human.  He didn’t see the cat as a infuser been to him rather than a rather he saw the cat as someone who is of the same level as he is; he treated him just as someone going through difficulties should be treated.  He took care of the cat by petting him and speaking to him.  Actions like these are not common but these types of actions, are actions that allow individuals form strong relationships with others.

Nothing But Death - by Pablo Neruda

There are cemeteries that are lonely, graves full of bones that do not make a sound, the heart moving through a tunnel, in it darkness, darkness, darkness, like a shipwreck we die going into ourselves, as though we lived falling out of the skin into the soul.

The poem begins talking about the place one thinks of when thinking of death.  Death is shown as a shipwreck and we will die within ourselves. Our hearts stop, skin begins to die and we go into our soul.

And there are corpses, feet made of cold and sticky clay, death is inside the bones, like a barking where there are no dogs, coming out from bells somewhere, from graves somewhere, growing in the damp air like tears of rain.

Death is not visible because it is within us.  So when it comes to us, it can be coming to us out of nowhere.  Sometimes giving us a warning before striking us like a lightning bolt.

filled by the sound of death which is silence

The author says that death is silence.  This makes me think of the many ways people have died over the years.  The body becomes silent after death but is death really silent? Some people die in their sleep.  Some people die from suffering.

Death arrives among all that sound… Nevertheless its steps can be heard and its clothing makes a hushed sound, like a tree.

As said before death sometimes gives us a warning.  Although people don’t notice the signals they are there.  A teacher in my school who was caring and considerate had passed away from appendicitis.  He cared for others more than himself so he didn’t take care of himself all too well. Appendicitis has warning like all other conditions and diseases, you just have to notice them.  I think if he noticed them he would still be alive. Death can also come out of nowhere. My granduncle was the only grandparent I knew. He lived a satisfied life or so he says. He was pretty healthy and lived until 94.  He knew death was near and so did we. However, the timing was unknown. My mom had spoken to him the day before he died when he sounded just fine but he still died the next day. Although we know everyone dies we never know when.

...because the face of death is green, and the look death gives is green, with the penetrating dampness of a violet leaf and the somber color of embittered winter.

The author speaks of death in colours of green and violet.  When thinking of the colour green I am reminded of nature so I would understand how and why green would be associated with death.  However violet, I do not understand why he would use this colour. When thinking of purple, I cannot think of one thing. So I think readers as well as myself would get confused at this point.

But death also goes through the world dressed as a broom, lapping the floor, looking for dead bodies, death is inside the broom, the broom is the tongue of death looking for corpses, it is the needle of death looking for thread. Death is inside the folding cots: it spends its life sleeping on the slow mattresses, in the black blankets, and suddenly breathes out: it blows out a mournful sound that swells the sheets, and the beds go sailing toward a port where death is waiting, dressed like an admiral.

Death is mentioned to be in so many forms in this poem.  I begin to think of how people die and the different lives they lived.  People’s lives differ from each other however, we are still connected in many ways.   This is because humans are social beings and we need other people to live to our full potential.  When we die, we each leave behind others as well as our accomplishments. But the question to be answered is that, are we truly ourselves without those things and people?  In my opinion I think that the imprints people leave on us makes us who we are. We behave in ways considering the way we are treated by others, the way the situation is made by your interaction with others.   The changes we have made to society or the changes that have happened to others because of us would be our accomplishments but only if they are both in a positive way. For me, I have gone through many situations that people have thought were imaginable.  I believe these situations have helped me mold me into the person I have become. I am a daughter, a sister, a best friend, a friend to someone in the world. The interactions I’ve had with them whether a good interaction or bad interaction they have helped me mold me into the person I have become.  After death, we leave behind ourselves which makes us lonely and isolated, is what the author has described death as. However I think, if someone dies unexpectedly or are not able to find closure before they die, that is when they would feel lonely and isolated. Reading this poem, I think of those who have died, my granduncle, my teacher, and others who have made an impact in my life and I wonder if they found closure.  I hope they did, I hope they did not feel lonely and isolated when they died. I think no one deserves to feel lonely when they die no matter who they are or what they have done.

Relentless as a Tarantula - Charles Bukowski

This poem is relatable because even if we do everything in our power to make things go the right way, external forces can corrupt your life.  

they're not going to let you sit at a front table at some cafe in Europe in the mid-afternoon sun.if you do, somebody's going to drive by and spray your guts with a submachine gun.

In these lines the imagery of having a great day is ruined by someone else.  I can completely agree from personal experience because when I plan to do something there is always someone who interferes with my plan and its frustrating.  In my last year of elementary school, there was an incident where I was going to explain to my best friend what had happened when she was gone. However some girls in my class who did not know the whole story of the incident, had interrupted my plan by telling her first.  This had led to a dispute between us and we never spoke to each other again. I later realized that our relationship was not strong enough which is why we had a huge argument. I think back on this whole incident and I am happy about it but, I also wonder what would have happened if I got to speak to her first.  

they're not going to let you feel good for very long anywhere.the forces aren't going to let you sit around fucking-off and relaxing. you've got to go their way.

Life is sometimes full of struggles and people always have different opinions and notions that prevent them from living a genuinely happy life.  Sometimes the opinion is about “what is life?”. Everyone has an opinion and some are stronger than others. These strong opinions can lead to be unwilling, to accept that other people are entitled to their own opinions.  The other day someone told me that empathy was a weakness. This person has gone through life with many struggles and believes that having empathy was one of the reasons why he/she struggled. Having empathy for others was a reason why they had been taken advantage of many times is what this person told me.  He/she began to push their opinion of what empathy is, on to me. Rather than saying that I think empathy is a weakness they said it as a fact and said that anyone older who is mature would agree. This person who is not willing enough to realize that everyone is entitled to their own opinion would struggle to get along with others.  The author has a strong opinion about what life is maybe because he lived a life of misery and only thinks of pessimistic things. However, I believe that if he took the chance and look at the world through another’s eyes he would realize his misery is the same as the misery of others. His happiness is the same as the happiness of others.  Life can be both a trial and a success.

as long as there are humans about there is never going to be any peacefor any individual upon this earth or anywhere else they might escape to.

This line shows that if all humans are not considerate enough to look at the world through the eyes of others and are blinded by their own perception of the world then there will not be any action that would lead to peace.

the unhappy, the bitter and the vengeful need their fix - which is you or somebody Anybody

Hatred towards the world that caused you to have struggles can result in acting out on other people who do not see the world from your perspective.  Acting out can be through words and actions in a violent way because this is the only way they can make a statement. This statement however can be a cry for help.  Not everyone can realize that it is a cry for help. This is not a personal story but, I watch a show called Grey’s Anatomy and one of the characters had a brain tumor.  Her actions were a cry for help but no one noticed.  They had thought it was her being herself, even if the people who were by her side the whole were doctors, they were blinded by love for her.  I think that the the author is blinded by hatred and he needs someone to reach out to. This poem is his way of acting out and his cry for help.  The cry is there if only someone noticed it. I think this tells us how some people struggle and don’t get help and end up having a sad opinion on life.  We are all bound to have our own opinions and the mindset that only our opinion matters will guide us to act out.

Next up in the Love Yourself Series - Wonder (Euphoria - a state where your body is heightened on endorphins and gives you a temporary state of happiness) —- You are the cause of my Euphoria, when I’m with you I’m in Utopia.

The Eighth Of September - by Pablo Neruda 

This day, Today, was a brimming glass. This day, Today, was an immense wave. This day was all the Earth. This literally means that the glass is overflowing, which could refer to excess water on earth.  The first sentence follows with: “This day, Today, was an immense wave. … was all the Earth” which talks about an actual wave and it could mean that the excess water became an immense wave, a tsunami, that spread all over earth.

This day, the storm-driven ocean lifted us up in a kiss so exalted we trembled at the lightning flash and bound as one, fell, and drowned, without being unbound.

This literally that the ocean had risen and lifted everyone, as they were terrified by the lightning storms and drowning them all together as one bounded together but unbounded by earth.

This day our bodies grew stretched out to Earth’s limits, orbited there, melded there to one globe of wax, or a meteor’s flame.

This means that on this day, this tsunami was so great that their bodies washed away laying all over earth until its limits, spinning together as the world spun, and became one with the earth.

A strange door opened, between us, and someone, with no face as yet.

They may have a religion that believes in souls going to heaven or hell because the author talks about their souls opening the door to a heaven that would meet God or the door to a hell to meet Satan.  

Reading the poem in a literal aspect, The Eighth of September, multiple times and the words within makes me conclude that it is about a tragedy and the afterlife which is also the theme.  The author speaks about the event of a tsunami as it occurs and until the people experiencing it die. The death from a natural disaster would have no difference, all deaths would lead to the soul opening the door whether it’s the door to heaven or hell would depend on the person.  I, myself, don’t necessarily agree with the author’s idea of what the afterlife would look like. However, I do wonder what the afterlife looks like, the last line “A strange door opened, between us, and someone, with no face as yet” caught my attention. If an afterlife does exist and a person meets me, I wonder how the person looks like, how I would react and what the first thing that someone would say.  I think that the author is trying to say that in the afterlife we do meet someone but it can be anyone. I’ve had thoughts of what it’d feel like if I were in a natural disaster after watching the movie 2012 and this poem has given me an idea of what it’d be like in one.