this tweet is the most relatable thing I’ve ever read in my whole life

dumbledore: welp here looks as good a place as any to dump the kid

dumbledore: *drops harry on the dursley doorstep*

mcgonagall: um...don't you think it's a good idea to go in and talk to the relatives? i mean her sister just died...

dumbledore: nah, it'll be fine. plus, i gotta go bowling with flitwick in like an hour. toodles!

the weirdest hp fanfic i have ever read? thirty h’s, or to give it its proper title, HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. it features dobby’s ‘groinsaw’ and astronauts, and harry ‘rocking the fuck out’

give it a look, it’s fucking odd and also pretty damn ‘edgy’

(tw for homophobic slurs, gore, suicide references and casual references to rape, link leads to the first page which has a warning also)

harry potter’s life motto is just ‘fuck you, i do what i want’

Things You Do When You Run A Harry Potter Blog While Tired: accidentally write ‘minerva mcgonagall’ instead of ‘moaning myrtle’ and now mcgonagall’s haunting a toilet and spying on harry in the bath like ew gross?

terrible harry potter fanfic tropes #472: the author wants harry and hermione to be together post-canon, so ron is a death eater now for some reason!

turns out dumbledore’s actually fucking RIPPED under those robes

only one of the many new hogwarts traditions that gilderoy lockhart tried to start actually took off: the Great Hogwarts Dance-off, occurring every summer, the winner getting 600 house points. hufflepuff held the cup for three years running thanks to them being the only house coordinated enough to form a team

just saying but harry was one year 3 months when his parents died and he got left in a fucking blanket in front of the dursleys

you ever met a fucking baby that old? theyre walking and shit by then

harry just wanders off down privet drive like “well, fuck this shit, i’m out”

dumbledore: welp here looks as good a place as any to dump the kid

dumbledore: *drops harry on the dursley doorstep*

mcgonagall: um...don't you think it's a good idea to go in and talk to the relatives? i mean her sister just died...

dumbledore: nah, it'll be fine. plus, i gotta go bowling with flitwick in like an hour. toodles!

people joke about lupin’s name being Wolfy mcWolfWolf, but what about Luna, whom i Love and is Good

HE’S TOYING WITH US NOW

War… War never changes.

I’m Voting For Mop

By now, voters are starting to realize that Deborah can not live up to her ludicrous promises. I’m endorsing Mop because they have all of the qualities crucial in a leader: honesty, stability, and humility. Most important of all, they have honesty. World-renowned Ziggy archivist and Mop-endorser Sigourney Cork said it best: We've built a critical time. We need to look beyond the polls, and take the polls. I'm thrilled to ensure our movement. We've built a part of money. What a month! Yes, Wall Street has it going! Please, contribute to people in new voters - to invest in the ground to powering the country and it been more difficult. This is why we've seen grassroots enthusiasm unmatched by any candidate on social media! Yesterday, Mop has. What a month! Deborah is amazing and so excited you're a statement, but we can't stop now. It’s hard to deny the power of such stirring words. Make the right decision. Vote for Mop. our one true lizard overlord. Yours, Diggydigdawg #ProudMopSupporter #MopIn2016