When Agent Phoenix and Juniper are fighting:

When Agent Phoenix and Juniper are fighting:

a little too many phoenixes. zoraxis should be worried

phoenix collab is finally done being put together! it was a bit challenging to put everyone's art together in a way that worked well, but i think it turned out nice :)

from left to right, @kitkatyes , @abacibate , @heycerulean , @right-agent , @agent-rosie , @gr3yyyyy , @realccre , @enhanced-operatives-division , @melopie-artz , @robutler , @lavalampstealer , @asexual-idiot , @operationjetset , @razs-archetype , @salezmanradioz , @mabzgonmad , @neurotonic , @grimm-bot , @solobodor , @randombikite , @ghostplasmas , @silverorchideon , @manzluv , @cookiealchemieart , @charixin , @purplebehittindifferent , @inkwally , @the-valiant-valkyrie , @stellar-collective , @ellascreams & @markophoenix ! let me know if i missed anyone or somehow forgot to add anyone to the picture! thank you all for participating!!! :)

tumblr will absolutely OBLITERATE the quality. so here is a link to the full quality image! 9000px wide canvas is NOT going to waste.

Roxana: ... I think Phoenix is actually too good at their job now. Moving might not fix the problem.

Phoenix: *sneaking up behind them* the more difficult you make it to get in, the better I get at my job. I've broken into both of your houses before.

Roxana: my robots would have alerted me.

Phoenix: you mean the robots who are connected to the security system with an override key that is the same date as the day you joined the EOD? Come on, make it a little harder than that.

Roxana: you look exhausted. Everything okay?

Reginald: Phoenix started watching a new show.

Roxana: and?

Reginald: their favourite character dies in season 3.

Roxana: ..?

Reginald: so they felt the need to cry about it. In my bedroom. At three in the morning.

Roxana: I told you not to give them a key to your place.

*if Phoenix and Juniper had more time to beef with each other at the peace summit*

John Juniper: just die you worthless piece of shit!

Agent Phoenix: at least I'm good at my job, you careless hack!

John Juniper: HOW DARE YOU?! I AM JOHN JUNIPER, THE WORLDS GREATEST ACTOR!

Agent Phoenix: YET YOU FLOPPED AT BEING MY HANDLER! I KNEW IT WASN'T YOU SO FUCKING FAST!

John Juniper: YOU MOTHER-

Zor: OH MY GOD JUST KISS OR KILL EACH OTHER ALREADY! I'M GETTING BORED!

Handler: KISS KISS KISS!

OMFG OMFG OMFG THANK YOU IT'S SO AMAZING

Demon bird

Drew @definitelyunhingedagentphoenix ‘s Phoenix from their ieytd/hh au fanfic with their permission.

Here ⬇️ (I had no part in writing this)

Reginald: no going on side missions. You only do the main mission. Do you understand?

Agent Phoenix: of course. Get in, hack the computer, get out.

Reginald: great!

*3 hours later*

Agent Phoenix: *stuck behind the drywall in Zor's meeting room* hey, I'm supposed to be stopping your evil plan and everything but are you aware that mice are chewing away at your drywall and it's becoming dislodged? I think I can fix it.

Zor: *who was just going over their evil Scheme with the other villains* ... Phoenix so help me I will have Hivemind send bees in after you.

Agent Phoenix: I'M OFFERING TO HELP YOU! IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE! DO YOU NOT SEE HOW CROOKED IT IS?! WHO EVEN INSTALLED THIS?!

Reginald: *defeated sigh*

Roxana: ah, yeah you're screwed then. Sorry.

Reginald: ... Why did you say it like that?

Roxana: they bring the character back to life and kill them again later in the seasons

Roxana: you look exhausted. Everything okay?

Reginald: Phoenix started watching a new show.

Roxana: and?

Reginald: their favourite character dies in season 3.

Roxana: ..?

Reginald: so they felt the need to cry about it. In my bedroom. At three in the morning.

Roxana: I told you not to give them a key to your place.

John Juniper: look at the difference between the way we treat our friends and the way we treat each other.

*jumpcut to months earlier when Juniper was in the hospital reading get well soon cards*

John Juniper: "Get well soon, love Reginald"

John Juniper: "I miss you, love Dr. Prism"

John Juniper: "That mask should have ended you, Love Phoenix." *Smiles* awww

Roxana: you look exhausted. Everything okay?

Reginald: Phoenix started watching a new show.

Roxana: and?

Reginald: their favourite character dies in season 3.

Roxana: ..?

Reginald: so they felt the need to cry about it. In my bedroom. At three in the morning.

Roxana: I told you not to give them a key to your place.

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! I think I might take a bit of a break from writing and get some reading done. I have barely read any fanfiction since I started writing. But I very badly want to write the rest of this 😂

iMPORTANT TAG UPDATE! WITH CHAPTER TWO OF MY HAZBIN HOTEL AU, THERE IS NOW MINOR-GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE DEPENDING ON HOW COMFORTABLE YOU ARE WITH VIOLENCE.

ANYWAY! HERE IS CHAPTER 2!

You do not need to read chapter 2 if you don't want to. Chapter 3 will take place after the war.

@randombikite @featherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr @dandorime @epikitee

iMPORTANT TAG UPDATE! WITH CHAPTER TWO OF MY HAZBIN HOTEL AU, THERE IS NOW MINOR-GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE DEPENDING ON HOW COMFORTABLE YOU ARE WITH VIOLENCE.

ANYWAY! HERE IS CHAPTER 2!

You do not need to read chapter 2 if you don't want to. Chapter 3 will take place after the war.

@randombikite @featherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr @dandorime @epikitee

Reginald: and here's our newest intern! Here to make amends for his wrong doings! *Points at Juniper*

Agent Phoenix: it's...

Reginald: be nice!

Agent Phoenix: I'm finding it.

Agent Phoenix: ...

Agent Phoenix: ...

John Juniper: it takes you that long to find it?

Agent Phoenix: it does!

No tests if I kidnap you (for legal purposes this is a joke)

But like... I love dnd... I wanna play. It's been so looong

Roxana: please explain to me why we're here.

John Juniper: on my birthday, Phoenix took me to the theater to see a show I had been dying to see. They worked overtime and even spent less on cigars and the like to save for it.

Roxana: *looking around at the McDonald's play place John rented out for a night* so... Does that mean the one thing Phoenix wanted was-

John Juniper: yep. And you better get comfortable because their specific words were "LOCKED in the play place with my favourite people."

Video Game Track Bracket Round 1

Theme of a Moonlit Night from Suikoden V

vs.

I Expect You To Die from I Expect You To Die

No propaganda was submitted for either track.

If you want your propaganda reblogged and added to future polls, please tag it as propaganda or otherwise indicate this!

Time to kidnap you and go there.

Roxana: please explain to me why we're here.

John Juniper: on my birthday, Phoenix took me to the theater to see a show I had been dying to see. They worked overtime and even spent less on cigars and the like to save for it.

Roxana: *looking around at the McDonald's play place John rented out for a night* so... Does that mean the one thing Phoenix wanted was-

John Juniper: yep. And you better get comfortable because their specific words were "LOCKED in the play place with my favourite people."

My friends and I recently went to what I can only describe as an adult's only mcplayplace because it also had ball pits and tubes to run through but everything was designed for adults of every shape and size. You had to be 18 plus to enter and most of the course was parkour themed but not all of it was super difficult. I am not a very physical person in any way and I have a shoulder injury and a leg injury that has never fully recovered but I was able to run through it no problems at all. They had giant tricycles and an obstacle course, a volleyball course, and a course for dodgeball where you could build fortresses out of these giant foam blocks.

All of this is to say that clearly that place inspired this post but I want you to know that the second my friend group hit that ball pit it was an all-out war. We were having so much fun. So I also like to imagine that Agent Phoenix and everyone else would have just as good a time as I did.

(Also do you know how satisfying it is to be an overweight person who really wants to be active but often cannot join in group activities like that because of physical impairments and finally find a place that not only can I do the fun activities but they're laid out in a way that doesn't completely kill me? The parkour parts were my favourite parts and I have never had more fun in my life even when I was a kid.)

Roxana: please explain to me why we're here.

John Juniper: on my birthday, Phoenix took me to the theater to see a show I had been dying to see. They worked overtime and even spent less on cigars and the like to save for it.

Roxana: *looking around at the McDonald's play place John rented out for a night* so... Does that mean the one thing Phoenix wanted was-

John Juniper: yep. And you better get comfortable because their specific words were "LOCKED in the play place with my favourite people."