Customer: *puts item on checkout *

Me: *scans item and gives it back to them*

Customer: Is this mine?

Me: ... yes. 🙃

If your dog is not a service dog, it isn't allowed inside the store. Don't stare at me blankly when I ask you to take your little, fluffy white dropkick dog out of the shopping trolley and out of the store.

When I offer a bag to a customer they usually say like ‘if you have one, that would be great’ and I’m always struck by how bizarre of an offer it would be if I didn’t have one. Like.

“Do you want a bag?”

“Yes, if you have one, that would be great :)”

“I don’t. How does it feel to want :)”

A Little Bitching

(For any who don’t know, I’m a check-out chick at a grocery store.)

“Can you make sure you put the cold things in the freezer bag?”

Lady, it’s over 40 C today. What the fuck do you think I’m going to do with your ice cream and frozen peas?

(I didn’t say that, just thought it. Oh, for what I’d give to have a day when I could say what I really thought to customers.)

This sale is not a "trap" into making you believe that rockmelons (what the rest of the world call cantaloupe) are $2 EACH. It clearly says $2 per kg.

Here's what $2 EACH looks like:

Don't accuse the store of trying to "trap" you because you can't tell the difference between KG and EA.

Customer: What happened to summer, eh?!

Me: It's spring. It's not summer yet.

Customer: It's freezing!!

Me: It's 19 C today.

🙄

I have exactly one thing to say about shoplifting from large chains and it's this: if you're gonna do it then please take the whole product

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

Upset we just closed a register? Too bad. I have the right to my breaks granted by state law and go home. Go ahead. Complain. It's not my fault but the management who forgets to plan.

.

Today we had a woman who just started yelling in the store. She was pacing through the aisles yelling "Hello! Help! Help! HELP ME!"

Pickles. She just couldn't find the pickles.

Dear Customers

STOP LICKING YOUR FINGERS BEFORE COUNTING MONEY TO GIVE TO THE CHECKOUT PERSON!!

It was gross before Covid, and it's extra gross now.

Seriously. Stop it.

Dear Customers

If your check-out person has an accent from another country, it's not wise for you to ever assume to know where their accent comes from. Chances are, you'll be wrong and come across as ignorant and foolish.

Dear Customers,

It is NEVER okay to ask the person scanning your items if they are pregnant. It is none of your damn business.

Dear Customers,

Please pay for your items BEFORE leaving the store with them. Failure to do so is called stealing and will get the checkout person into trouble for "allowing" it to happen.

Dear Customers,

No, we cannot sell you food that is past its expiry date. We cannot give it away to you for free either.

Dear Customers,

Please do not allow your children to pull the petals off of the flowers that are for sale.

Dear Customers,

We are black uniform store. We can't take gift cards from green uniform store, or from red uniform store. To use those gift cards, you'll have to go to green store and/or red store.