Nina Ricci / Spring 2013

mitski last night, by me

— Louise Glück, from “Timor Mortis.”

i would recognize them thru post alone, by type; i would know them iconless, by the tags they write and their content. i would know them in death, at the end of the dashboard

“But her life was as cold as an attic facing north; and boredom, like a silent spider, was weaving its web in the shadows, in every corner of her heart.” - Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary

It's been a couple days already yet the image of my sister vomiting thick, dark blood while I'm holding her hand is still at the front of my mind, this is the third time this happens and I don't know how much further her lungs will be able to keep her alive, blood all over her shirt and face, blood on the carpet blood on my hands blood everywhere, this is the second time during this war that we had to rush her to the hospital, I want it to end and I want the pain to go away, but if the pain does go away it'll have to take her with him, she's 32 yet all she's ever known is hospital rooms and oxygen tanks and hundreds of pills to swallow every day, all my life all I've ever known is how to put my feelings and needs aside and take care of my old sister and sleeping in hospital chairs, all I've ever known is death staring me in the eye and whispering 'soon, it'll happen soon, don't let your guard down, she's not gonna last another day, month, year', and in my dreams I'm always holding her unconscious body in my arms while my mother is screaming from behind me, and we are all soaked in blood.

“Night, a grey sky, a ghostly sea, The soft beginning of the rain”

— Arthur Symons, from On the Beach; Silhouettes: Poems, 1892

༺𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑚𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑓𝑢𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑠༻

Ah, no nostalgia hurts as much as nostalgia for things that never existed!

Fernando Pessoa, from The Book of Disquiet (Penguin Classics, 2022; first published 1982)

I hope you'll be fine.

I'm fine for now, thanks anon 💞

well, the rockets have reached the north, I might die soon, it was lovely being on tumblr.com, take care.

me being home alone and getting scared as shit when I heard harsh, loud noises coming from behind the house only to look at the security cameras to find two pigeons fighting

you can’t even run away and join the circus anymore

“Women can be rapists too!”

This is true. Women are capable of raping people. You would think, considering that women are often left to raise and care for the most vulnerable in society (nursing, teaching, elderly care) that we would hear a myriad of stories coming out about how women in mass numbers are molesting and raping the most vulnerable. You don’t care about that though. In fact, despite having less access, it’s men who rape most. If women can rape, why is it that even though they have more opportunities to do so, they don’t?

More importantly, why do men?

"This story is a tragedy because it didn't have to end this way."

vs

"This story is a tragedy because it was always going to end this way."

Happy birthday, baby. You're doing amazing.