davosfingers
Davos' Fingers Podcast
We're reading A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin. Five chapters at a time. Then nerding out about them. Episodes posted every three weeks. Join us.
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Matt & Scad make a triumphant return to our Films Get Fingered segment, this time with Kevin Smith's MALLRATS. You know, the one w/ chocolate pretzels & Ben Afleck before his teeth revamp?
Check it out on Patreon, which is free to ALL right now!
In this episode we wax philosophic about why Kevin's movies mean so much to us. We explore the minimalist plot, the reasonable scarce character development, and the absolute buffet of jokes and quotable lines.
Mallrats helped launch the careers of Jason Lee and Ben Affleck, and Jason particularly shines in this film. We also get appearances from Shannon Doherty, Jeremy London, Claire Forlani, and Joey Lauren Adams. A glut of talent is on the screen and Kevin's dialog shines.
#mallrats#kevin smith#davos fingers podcast#films get fingered#jason lee#ben afleck#jay and silent bob#joey lauren adams#shannon doherty
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In Episode 100 (guys, we made it to 100!) we continue our series of “What if” content. The fingers of Davos tackle the question: What if Oberyn Martell had defeated Gregor Clegane during Tyrion’s trial by battle? How would court life look with a healthy Oberyn gumming up the works? Tyrion is free, but is he though? Does Tywin still die? The “grass” in Dorne is still hiding its “viper” in this timeline, what does that mean for the Dornish plot that we see in the later books?
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The Davos’ Fingers podcast is trying something a little new starting with Episode 99. The next several episodes will focus on “What if” questions. Matt and Scad will then spend the episode untangling how George’s world would have been different if crucial moments had gone just a little bit differently. So, get your headphones on and listen in as we ponder what would have happened if Rhaegar had defeated Robert Baratheon on the trident. Would dragons have entered the world? What would the Stark children’s lives look like? Does Rhaegar make sure the three heads of the dragon are fulfilled with his two sons? And maybe most importantly….who does Cersei marry? It’s a zany episode and we hope you enjoy!
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Episode 98 Show Notes: The Desire to Be Free
Welcome to SHOW NOTES, where we provide you with links and other info regarding some of the ever-important side topics we discussed on the show. Check them out here at davosfingers.com after every episode!
ICE AND FIRE CON
Ice and Fire Con is home to many of us, so how great was it that our diligent, esteemed IaFC organizers brought the Con TO OUR HOMES with a weekend full of digital content that you can find at the Ice and Fire Con YouTube channel. Matt and Scad got to play along for two of the features:
Creators of Ice and Fire Meetup: Wherein ya boyz join host Shadowcat Becks (@Shadowcat_Becks), Aziz ( @WesterosHistory) from History of Westeros, Lady Gwyn (@ladygwynhyfvar) and yolkboy (@theyolkboy) from Radio Westeros, and brilliant artist Sanrixian (@sanrixian), who drew live while we chatted. Remember Mark Mullendore’s monkey? You will after this!
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Legends of the Nightfort: Scad is joined by our friends Bword (@b_petersen85), Chace (@GhostChaceKilla), and Lord Travis (@ser_travis) of Planetos Podcast as they discuss the mysterious past and future of the Nightfort.
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And let us be clear, friends: IaFC was not cancelled, but POSTPONED to Oct. 29 – Nov. 1. Get details and buy tickets from the Ice and Fire Con website NOW.
VOLANTIS SUCKS, ATWELL DOES NOT
Khalasar, there are, like, three things in this world that set my head to spinning: my wife in her workout clothes, Paul Rudd’s smile, and just about anything Steven writes. Hungry for SOMETHING – ANYTHING – of value to talk about during our Volantis segment (seriously, what a horrible place), I came across this essay Steven wrote some years ago for Tower of the Hand. Rife with commentary on the history, culture, and politics of Volantis, as well as parallels to the history of our own world, this one sucked me in like no other treatment of Volantis ever has. Read more of Steven’s work (and find links to buy his books!) at his website.
AIN’T IT THE [SECOND] LIFE
I was woefully unprepared to summarize a theory on why Valyrians can ride dragons by member chrisdaw that I came across on Westeros.org . And while I’m not completely behind it (those who know me know I’m more of a “meh, I’ll wait and see” type guy when it comes to theories), I applaud the research and creativity that went into crafting it.
BUT SINCE I CAN’T HAVE YOU FOLLOWING ME EITHER...
While discussing bravos, the scene atop the Cliffs of Insanity from The Princess Bride inevitably came up. Packed with wit, sleight of hand, and acrobatics, how could this not be my favorite sword-fight scene of all time? I demand you love it as well.
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And that’ll do it for this episode, Bloodriders! Stay safe, and stay savage!
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In Episode 98 the Fingers of Davos explore the most impressive of the free cities: Pentos, Braavos and Volantis. These are perhaps the most different cities from each other as you can get. Braavos, the poster-child of anti-slavery starkly cast against Volantis powered by slaves at a ratio of 5-to-1, with Pentos in between, pretending not to be pro-slavery but embracing everything it entails. One that denies its Valyrian roots, one that holds itself as the Valyrian standard, and one that embraces its roots, but also fine with mixing with other cultures. Such a fun set of differences to cover. We also spend some time in Valyria itself, talking about its current state, and whether it is as dangerous as it seems.
In three weeks we are moving to a bit of a format change, so get psyched for Davos’ Fingers madness. Nothing to read on your end, nothing to prep. We are getting back to ASOIAF proper, with a series of episodes called “What If”. Specifically in this case: What if Rhaegar had defeated Robert on the Trident? So get ready for some zany analysis about what would have gone differently had Robert not caved in Rhaegar’s chest.
Selection Covered: most of the content from this episode comes from The World of Ice and Fire. We are covering everything from Pentos on page 266 through the section on Braavos, ending on page 276. But there is some additonal coverage on Valyria that comes from TWOIAF and other general knowledge from the series at large. Spoilers beware.
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E97 Show Notes: Free Cities aren’t free (they cost a buck ‘o five)
Welcome to SHOW NOTES, where we provide you with links and other info regarding some of the ever-important side topics we discussed on the show. Check them out here at davosfingers.com after every episode!
TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE
Most of you are hip enough (unlike Matt) to know where “Freedom isn’t free, it costs a buck o’ five” comes from. A crude, marionet-wielding satire created by the South Park guys? Sign me up yesterday! Errr… in 2004… which was when I was living in Brazil. That partly explains why I had never heard of it. Or I’m just making excuses at this point. Either way, I can’t get that blasted “freedom isn’t free” chorus out of my head now. Curses. CURSES.
TUSK
For the first 15 years of his career, Kevin Smith found his lane and mostly stayed in it. Then came Red State, which Scad and I both consider a major win. But then, out of the depths of an off-the-rails conversation between Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier on SModcast, Tusk was born. The comedy-horror about a young man discovering his inner walrus (okay it’s a lot darker than that) is unsettling and somehow awesome, anchored by the enchanting performance of the late Michael Parks. In the end, it’s a theory you can take to the bank: the mazemakers of Lorath were destroyed by a Justin Long-led contingent of walrus-men.
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OF COURSE! BUT MAYBE...
Feel like cringing today? Watch this Louis CK bit from his 2013 special Oh My God. One reason I’ve always been a fan of CK’s comedy (if not him as a person) is his crude way of making points that make you go, “huh…”. If the Valyrians (and their descendants) ever heard, “How did they build those pyramids? They just threw human death and suffering at them until they were finished”, they’d either be nodding vigorously, or looking slightly uncomfortable.
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BILLY ON THE STREET
Thanks to a delightful question from Bloodrider Linsea, we spent a probably-too-long-but-not-surprising-for-us amount of time talking about Parks & Recreation characters, with Scad recommending the hilarious Billy on the Street series by the Craig Middlebrooks-portraying Billy Eichner. In the show, Billy walks around the streets of New York asking questions to randos, like if they’d have sex with Paul Rudd (you know what Matt’s answer would be).
Was there anything else we talked about on the show that made you throw the “WTF” flag? Drop us a line and let us know!
#davos fingers podcast#team america#tusk#kevin smith#smodcast#louis ck#billy eichner#billy on the street
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In this episode, the Fingers start exploring the Free Cities. We wander the mazes of Lorath, try to avoid the lumber-rich mysterious forest of Qohor, and ascend the Sinner’s Steps in Norvos. But this episode isn’t complete without a tour of the Quarrelsome Daughters. Myr, Lys, and Tyrosh are near mirror images of each other, but can’t get along, we talk about that too.
Catch us in three weeks as we finish off our coverage of the Free Cities, including a quick look at the queen jewel herself, Valyria. After that, we are gonna mix it up a bit with a return to ASoIaF, but not, perhaps, in the way you are used to. Stay tuned.
Selection Covered: The World of Ice and Fire pages 252 through 265. But as has been the case for some time, we will wonder all over the canon in this episode, so watch out!
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Matt’s #ASongofMadness 2020 Final Thoughts
#ASongofMadness 2020 has ended. What a great and terrible day! As is custom, here are Matt’s end-of-season thoughts (expect Scad’s later!):
First, I hope you will all send messages of appreciation to Scad. He worked tirelessly – like hours and hours AND HOURS – on finding a new format to spice things up this year. It was he that suggested the four groupings and which characters belonged in each group. It was he that wrote all of the matchup descriptions (even when I offered to take a few!). And it is he that truly is the driving force behind A Song of Madness. This head-on, thoughtful nature is his approach to life in general, and I love him for it. I couldn’t and wouldn’t do it without him.
And now, my thoughts.
There are two reasons we do #ASongofMadness only once a year: 1) To preserve its sanctity and the excitement for it; and 2) Honestly, it’s tiring. The good kind of tired, though. Like after a great concert, or finishing that grade-defining essay, or working in the fields all day to support your family (Okay, I’ve never done that last thing, but I hear it’s very rewarding). I’m sure in a couple weeks I’ll be anxiously praying for March 2021 to come quickly, but for now, I’ll happily take the reprieve.
Now, I could recap the tournament, focusing on the 2020 Bot Scandal, “Leaning in” to the criticism of stans, the record-breaking number of votes we received, the new character groupings and their impact on freshening up the tourney, or even all of your fantastic voting criteria. All would be worthy of character count. But frankly, what’s on my mind – where I’m at emotionally at this point in my life – is… Community. Family. Home.
Especially during this time of heightened stress and isolation, community, family, and home is more important than ever. A place where we can feel accepted, appreciated, loved, protected, and supported. One of the primary reasons we do A Song of Madness is to foster that sense of community. To give us all a place to go and be among friends. The “Cheers Bar”, if you will. If you can’t go out with your friends this Saturday night because you are social distancing, for example, you can come see us on Twitter. It doesn’t matter your social status, how you grew up, the number of times you’ve read ASOIAF, or how long it’s been since you last spoke with us. You’ll always have a seat in our living room. We don’t have to think the same, but we all love each other the same.
So, after all this misery, pain, and woe, my final request is that you be that difference for those in our family here. That person that gives a Like, Retweet, or “AWESOME” comment on someone’s art rather than just scrolling on, that responds reasonably rather than snarkily, that accepts rather than rejects, that builds rather than tears down. Humor is a blessing and we all need to laugh at ourselves, but let’s laugh together rather than at each other. This all sounds very much like the end of a Sesame Street episode, but isn’t it what we all need? Community? Family? A Home?
There’s always a place for you in the Davos’ Fingers living room. We will rib you, you will roll your eyes at our 8th grade level humor, and you will be frustrated beyond belief at some of our ASOIAF takes, but you will also be loved, accepted, supported, and protected.
Thank you for playing. Thank you for supporting. Thank you for smiling. Thank you for loving. Thank you for accepting.
Stay Savage, Bloodriders.
Matt, April 2020
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E96 SHOW NOTES: BEWARE - BUTTERFLIES!
Welcome to SHOW NOTES, where we provide you with links and other info regarding some of the ever-important side topics we discussed on the show. Check them out here at davosfingers.com after every episode!
Oh, and sorry for the tardiness in getting these out to you ravenous readers; I got caught up trying to explore the expanse of Sothoryos.
CRIKEY!
Matt wasn’t entirely sure about the difference between crocodiles, alligators, and lizard lions. Scad’s children were COMPLETELY sure... at least about the first two. So while this hyperlink is to an online encyclopedia, you could skip it and just speak directly to Scad’s kids.
YOU’LL PUT YOUR EYE OUT
Summer Islander longbows seem pretty fantastic... is there any real-world equivalent? The english longbow comes pretty effin’ close. Not nearly as sexy though.
YOU’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW
So why not check out some of the shows and films Matt and Scad referenced in the show?
Happy Gilmore: It’s dumb. So dumb. And yet, so iconic.
Outbreak: Scad loves this movie. Matt’s never seen it. This should surprise no one. Also, it’s on Netflix.
Monty Python: Almost the Truth: Get it all on Netflix!
The Last Kingdom: This Netflix series is Game of Thronesy, loosely based on historical events, and tons of fun. Matt just finished!
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We traverse the southern portions of the map in Episode 96. From The Summer Isles to Sothoryos and everything in between with deadly butterflies, wyverns, and pirate towns galore. We also head north to mainland Essos, to look at the Dothraki Sea and its current and prior residents. Lastly. Ahem. Dragonbone.
Our dutiful coverage of The World of Ice and Fire continues as we plunge into our second episode on that material. And we are gonna keep going. We are tackling the Free Cities for the next couple episodes, starting with Lorath. So read up!
Want to chat with us? Or share a theory? Or disagree vehemently with a take? Please do. Reach out! We can be found @davosfingers on Twitter, on Facebook, at [email protected], on our website at www.davosfingers.com. If you want to support the Fingers on Patreon check out patreon.com/davosfingers!
Selection Covered: Everything covered in Episode 96 comes straight from The World of Ice and Fire, pages 277 to 293. Everything is on the table though as we reference everything under the sun in this episode as well.
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E95 SHOW NOTES: ASSHAI WHERE THE SHADOWS LIE
Welcome to SHOW NOTES, where we provide you with links and other info regarding some of the ever-important side topics we discussed on the show. Check them out here at davosfingers.com after every episode!
GIRLS GONE CANNON
Special guest and all around all-star Chloe is but one-half of our sister podcast, Girls Gone Cannon. With the lovely-inside-and-out Eliana at her side, GGC re-reads ASOIAF BY POV. How cool is that? Currently covering Jaime’s chapters, while simultaneously covering HIS DARK MATERIALS, these lovelies never quit. Their energy, passion, wit, and all-around goodness will bless your life eternally. They are fixtures in my ears!
MICHAEL THE ARCHANGEL
Speaking of fandom gems, check out the art of Michael Klarfeld. I could peruse his maps all day, every day. And yes, I mean that in multiple ways. Buy his stuff and support a blessed fandom creator!
SORRY VARGO
So apparently zebras are not great to ride. Can someone shoot a text to Vargo Hoat and the Jogos Nhai letting them know?
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TEAK
Matt didn’t know what Teak wood was. Scad did. You probably do as well. Pretty standard Davos’ Fingers interaction, right?
WESTEROS: AN AMERICAN MUSICAL
Wait, you still haven’t watched “Westeros: An American Musical”?? Get on it!
SONGS FROM THE HEART
And as always, some of the songs mentioned this episode:
“Testify” – Rage Against the Machine
“It’s the End of the World as We Know it (And I Feel Fine)” – R.E.M.
#davosfingers podcast#klarfeld#girls gone cannon#teak#zebras#westeros an american musical#rage against the machine#rem
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The Fingers of Davos gain a third tonight as Chloe of Girls Gone Canon joins the cast to talk The World of Ice and Fire. Our first episode covering this tome, and it is a doozy. From the Shivering Seas frozen in legend to the mystical walkers of the Ifeqevron, the Fingers (and Chloe) dive into some of the lesser known parts of Essos. Then they cross the Bone Mountains and explore the empire of Yi-Ti and east to Asshai by the Shadow. Not much is known of these strange lands by the Maesters of the Citadel, but speculation from the Fingers is not in short supply.
We have started our coverage of The World of Ice and Fire. As is our wont, we are doing it a little differently. We were very excited to jump ALL the way East, so we started at the end and will work our way back for a bit. We will be working our way back for the next episode including coverage of the Dothraki! So check back in 3 weeks!
Selection Covered: Everything in this episode (outside of speculation) can be found within The World of Ice and Fire from The Shivering Sea (page 294) through the end of the Asshai-By-The-Shadow section (page 309) and also the end of the book.
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Episode 94: TARGARYEN FAMILY VALUES: Show Notes!
Welcome to SHOW NOTES, where we provide you with links and other info regarding some of the ever-important side topics we discussed on the show. Check them out here at davosfingers.com after every episode!
In E94, we make the normal rounds through movies, books, music, and history - all of which we know as much about as Jaehaerys knows about Saera’s personality.
NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY
You know those books that just stick with you, no matter how old you grow? Like, WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE for me. Or also, THE OUTSIDERS . I can still pick this book up on a quiet afternoon and find just as much enjoyment as I did when I was a sixth grader. Plus, check out that cast for the film adaptation (1983). Rob Lowe is as wrinkle free now as he was then and Tom Cruise is totally doing that thing where you put your bicep flat up against your hand to make it look bigger.
FRIENDS PROMOTE FRIENDS
We’ve mentioned it before and we’re more than happy to mention it again: If you are a fan of anything Westeros, you’ve gotta make yourself the proud owner of THE GREAT CASTLES OF WESTEROS: AN UNOFFICIAL GUIDE by our dear friend Joe Buckley. And let’s be honest, this book is good enough that we’d promote it even if he wasn’t our friend!
OUCH
Guys, get it right: A Morningstar is basically a club with a spiked ball. It’s flails that have the chain. And, as Scad pointed out, some wonder whether these weapons were actually ever even used.
THE LAST 10 YEARS? NOT THAT GREAT ANYWAYS
The last years of the Good Queen’s life were not great ones. Maybe she should have followed Dennis Leary’s advice and taken up smoking?
DRAGONS EGGS AND CRADLES AND SILVER SPOONS
Once again, Scad and Matt back themselves into a corner where they forget some sort of factoid that everyone else in the fandom knows. So, to set it straight: the first specific recorded instance of a dragon egg being placed in a cradle is when Princess Rhaena placed one each with her two younger siblings, Jaehaerys and Alysanne. The practice became more common during the reign of Viserys I.
TITILLATING TUNES
Hear ye the music we referenced in this episode (I particularly like the Zebrahead track):
Playmate of the Year – Zebrahead
What a Girl Wants – Christina Aguilera
Quit Playing Games With My Heart – Backstreet Boys
I never would’ve imagined ending any sort of post with a Backstreet Boys song, but here we are I guess. Stay savage, Bloodriders!
#davos fingers podcast#df show notes#fire and blood#zebrahead#christina aguilera#backstreet boys#joe buckley#A Song of Ice and Fire#the outsiders
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In Episode 94 we get into some good old-fashioned family values...well, Targaryen Family Values. They are a little different. Highlights Include: drunken midnight rides through the city, kissing clubs, uncles that are younger than their nephews, ostracization, forced marriage. Also in this episode is more deaths, especially in the birthing bed, but more births also...uh...from the birthing bed. And as it does for us all, death comes for Alysanne and Jaehaerys. We also answer some questions from Bloodriders and play a fun Targaryen Name Game. Enjoy!
Episode 94 also brings our coverage of Fire and Blood to an end. We will be moving on to cover hand-picked sections of The World of Ice and Fire, starting with the section titled The Bones and Beyond. So check back here in 3 weeks for the start of another fun adventure!
Selection Covered: Everything in this episode can be found in Fire and Blood. Specifically within the sections “The Long Reign” (pg 302) through “Heirs of the Dragon” (pg. 351).
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Episode 93 Notes: GOOD QUEEN ALYSANNE
Welcome to SHOW NOTES, where we provide you with links and other info regarding some of the ever-important side topics we discussed on the show. Check them out here at davosfingers.com after every episode!
In E93, We The Fingers give endless accolades to Alysanne, while not quite letting her off the hook in some areas. But don’t you worry, we’re not letting you off the hook either. Read on for more!
I DIED THAT DAY
Is it really a Davos’ Fingers episode if we don’t reference THE PRINCESS BRIDE in SOME way, shape, or form? In this case, Buttercup says she died the day she received the news of Wesley’s “death”, just like Jaehaerys claims Rhaenyra “died” the day of Aegon’s demise. What we find, in hindsight, is that Buttercup’s sense of loss is probably what contributed to her indefatigable attitude. And for Rhaenyra, as Scad and I contend, could it be that losing Aegon was just one step in a long process to finding true peace?
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THAT CHECKS OUT
Remember the good ol’ days when you just plugged your symptoms into WebMD and it removed any need to even go to a doctor? Yeah, me neither. But NOW, you can visit WebMD and learn about how Arousal Syndrome is no cause for shame! Or how to flatten those abs! Docta Docta give me the news.
MELISANDRE’S MUMMY AND DADDY
Remember that one time Yours Truly talked up his friends at Radio Westeros on the air about their really great Melisandre theory, but then couldn’t remember the theory well enough to actually expound on it? I remember that time, and the shame was real. But it’s still a really great theory! See for yourself and prepare to believe that Melisandre is the offspring of Bloodraven and Shiera Seastar!
DEEP BREATH, MATT
One of my New Years’ resolutions was to put myself out there more in regards to the music I’ve been working on. I mean, what’s better – a perfectly written book that sits in a drawer forever, having only been read by the author; or a book – perhaps not perfect – that can be read by many? So while I know these little songs still need a little bit of refining, I’d like to share them with you in the hope that maybe they can help you feel something, just as they’ve made me feel something. A huge shout out to Scad for being my biggest supporter with this little project/dream of mine. Who has always taken the time to carefully listen and offer nuanced feedback and encouragement. I couldn’t dream up a better friend.
#the princess bride#thanks webmd#radio westeros#A Song of Ice and Fire#davos fingers podcast#matt thacker
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The boys forge ahead through Fire and Blood in Episode 093: Good Queen Alysanne. In this episode Jaehaerys and Alysanne face tragedy as the Shivers bear down on Westeros. They also make a progress up north where the winter’s cold and Alaric’s hospitality is the same. Also, Alysanne flexes on her husband to end a sacred right to the Lords of Westeros, while Jaehaerys uses some windfalls of capital to improve infrastructure for his Kingdom.
In this episode we wanted to mention that we had a few audio issues in our recording. In truth Matt was a hero in salvaging some spots. We regret this departure from our normal level of quality and thank the Khalasar for their understanding.
This is our second to last episode of Fire and Blood as our bizarre journey through that tome winds to an end. After we polish that off, we will be jumping straight into some more ASOIAF, hand-picking sections from The World of Ice and Fire. As is our custom, we aren’t going to make it easy, actually starting with the section called “The Bones and Beyond”, which covers lands to the East, like Asshai. We will be hand selecting other selections as we go.
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Episode 92 Notes: “GODS THAT GIVE, GODS THAT TAKE”
Welcome to SHOW NOTES, where we provide you with links and other info regarding some of the ever-important side topics we discussed on the show. Check them out here at davosfingers.com after every episode!
First, if you’re puzzled by our FIRE & BLOOD reading order, just know that no one is more confused than we are. (A million accolades to @rusarvareth for the hilarious meme)
Castles That Don’t Sink Into Swamps
Our dear friend, pal, and confidant Joe Buckley (@SerBuckley ) did an inspiring thing: he WROTE A BOOK! I strongly encourage, implore, and command you to go check out THE GREAT CASTLES OF WESTEROS: AN UNOFFICIAL GUIDE immediately. Available on Kindle or Paperback. Buy yourself a Christmas present. Tell yourself it’s from your mom.
Rock a Rhyme That’s Right On Time
Okay, so maybe lines like, “I met this little girly, her hair was kinda curly, went to her house to bust one out, I had to leave real early” aren’t as deep or introspective as some of the hip hop I listen to now, but there’s no denying the influence Run DMC had on the genre. The cool factor, the lightning-flash vocal trade-off, the later elements of rock, and the white Adidas make Run DMC icons. ICONS. As far as hip hop goes, they are similar to the Beatles or Rolling Stones in terms of impact. Yeah, I said it. If I had to pick one track of theirs to share with future posterity, it will always be “It’s Tricky”.
Al Swearen-who?
Scad talks about DEADWOOD pretty consistently, and if I were a more invested friend I would take the dive so I could geek out with him. But alas, here I sit in my ignorant state while he reaps the intellectual rewards of fine television programming. As I say to Mrs. Matt on the regular: “I’ll get to it!” My love/hate relationship with Timothy Olyphant demands it.
I Can Feel It
How did Scad and I do on our dramatic recreation of this tender Star Wars moment?
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