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damagedintellect ¡ 1 hour
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Skk Brainrot for Chuuya’s BDay
💌 When I said chibi was my dog this is not what I meant : Chapter 1  💌  
Summary: The minute he stepped into Mori's office Chuuya was already annoyed. While the Mafia dealt with foreign imports of all kinds, being told to investigate the strange influx of Stray Dogs across Yokohama wasn’t his ideal use of his skill set. Chuuya has always liked animals, animal's also liked Chuuya and he's always wanted a dog. He never expected to become a dog. The irony of Dazai calling him a dog all these years makes him want to scream. His ex partner has always been vocal about his disdain for two things. Now Chuuya is somehow both, and Dazai is the only one who can change him back.
Notes: Happy Birthday Chuuya~ I wanted to post something for Chuuya's birthday & this has been sitting in my drafts. Eventually this will have more than one chapter because I see the vision I just haven't had the time to write for it. Gonna base all the dogs on WAN.
💌 Word count: 3,754 💌  You Are Here | Next Chapter coming soon
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The port mafia was practically "in charge" of every illegal trade in Yokohama so the sudden influx of stray dogs, breeds that were not known for being popular in Japan, tipped Mori off. He couldn't help but sigh rolling his eyes because he probably should have someone look into it. As silly as the situation may have seemed the Port Mafia has a reputation to uphold. Although the juxtaposition of sending an executive to investigate was also incredibly ridiculous but Mori has seen animals gravitate to the young man and knowing that a certain partner used to claim all the time that Chuuya was his dog, brought back a level of nostalgia that plastered a smile on his face. Chuuya on the other hand was less than pleased with this position. The mafia’s greatest combatant being used as a sheepdog to herd in a bunch of no names to the slaughter was a waste of time in his personal opinion. Don't get him wrong, he'll do it because Mori's command is law but he's still going to complain about it. 
The investigation didn't actually take him that long to trace it back to a series of missing people reports. One person went missing and suddenly there was a new dog on the streets. Although it seemed pretty cut and dry it was still concerning that the authorities haven't done anything about the disappearances. Most of the cases occurred near the edge of town where plenty of abandoned facilities were located. It was possible whoever was behind this was hiding there. Chuuya had only assumed what was happening, he had a hunch that it wasn't even animal's being imported. The power of science was a bizarre field to him, after all, he contained a power equal to that of a God.
What he didn’t expect was for it to actually be someone's ability. Why let the dogs out on the street if it was someone’s ability? He only had more questions but Chuuya didn't care one way or the other because what difference would it make to him. He was given the order to take them out regardless. Mori wanted the facility intact for further investigation after the group was swiftly dealt with but it was more of an afterthought. Chuuya didn't even bother taking reinforcements; he simply walked through the front door and watched as they realized nothing could touch him. He cleared out floors left and right until the only way down to the lower levels was an elevator. His ability should have been able to handle whatever trap had been set but then the room filled with gas, one of the very few things his ability had no effect on. Chuuya could only hold his breath for so long and despite manipulating the drop from the elevator to compensate for the impact of fall damage, he was already dizzy. By the time he forced the doors open, with a few steps out of the elevator he found himself collapsing to the floor.
His head had a dull ache that spread to the rest of his body. They didn’t kill or physically harm him yet which could only mean they want information but they must be more stupid than they look to not even bother trying to restrain him. All they did was put a cloth over him. His joints were sore as he tried to clutch his head. When he shifted the cloth fell off revealing not a hand but a paw. He wiggled out of what used to be his clothes to get a better look at himself. Observing the new changes to his body, he was a dog. A fluffy chihuahua if he had to guess by his reflection in the glass across from him. They seemed to have put him in some examination room. He turned around and shook his tail. The feeling of an extra limb was more apparent and weird but he didn't have time to dwell on it for too long. Someone was going to pay.
The familiar red glow covered his form as he continued what he came here to do. Being a dog wouldn’t matter in the end. He'd just change back after he killed the ability user, but even after clearing the building he didn’t. He ran up and down the empty halls struggling with the new sensation of walking. The panic was starting to set in. He still hadn't changed back and there was not a soul left in sight at the entire facility. That means they got away before Chuuya woke up. He grit his teeth. He didn't know how long he was out for and tracking them down would be a pain in the ass in the state he was in. The only thing that gave him some relief was that he came alone and that none of his comrades were in this predicament. He could only imagine the chaos an entire division of dogs would do.
Trying to sift through files with paws was a nightmare. It took all of his self control to not destroy everything in this godforsaken lab. Chuuya just hoped this weird organization didn't send back up his way otherwise he was screwed. He couldn't find anything important and his patience was running extremely low with how long it was taking to even grab a file from the desk. If he was human it would take him two minutes to settle this whole endeavor. Chuuya stopped dropping the papers from his mouth.
If he was human.
A wave of dread washed over him as he realized there was one person who could fix this.
Dazai.
He really didn't want to see the mackerel especially not like this but what else could he do. He couldn’t go back to headquarters like this. He couldn’t even phone for someone to help him, he tried. Even if someone picked up he could only bark and hoped they understood. All Dazai would need to do was touch him but there was one glaring problem with that. Dazai hates dogs. He wouldn't voluntarily approach them let alone pet one out in the wild. If Chuuya tackled him to the ground he would be forced to at least touch him right? He took off in the direction of the ADA without a second thought. Completely forgetting about his hat, his phone and the rest of his belongings. He sure had a lot of faith in Dazai’s ability.
Chuuya was exhausted halfway there. Walking on all fours was miserable considering the distance he had to cover and he was even using his ability to help travel which probably only made him more tired. Luckily it was so late in the night there weren't a lot of people or cars around. By the time he made it to the agency building he was ready to collapse. He sat by the door as the sun was already starting to rise. It would be hours before Dazai would show up. He let himself sleep in the meantime he was too tired to try and fight it.
“What’s going on here?”
A voice stirred Chuuya awake from his sleep but he didn’t want to wake up yet not after the night he’s had. He could sleep in a little more right? He didn't have to make his report immediately. He contemplated just how long he would sleep in before another voice joined the conversation.
“Hey Mr. Kunikida.”
Chuuya swears he’s heard the name before but it doesn’t fully click why. He was about to get up when he felt a hand smoothing out his hair. A warm feeling washed over him preventing him from wanting to move. He let the voices talk while he leaned into the unknown touch still keeping his eyes closed. 
“A lost dog, did you really think things through before bringing it here? Listen, it's a lot of responsibility taking care of a living creature.”
Lost dog
That broke Chuuya out of his pleasant stupor. He opened his eyes and got up abruptly. He was sitting in the white haired kids lap while a bunch of agency members were surrounding him. None of them were the one he needed to see.
“Dazai!” he tried shouting as he scrambled out of the kid’s grasp to find the waste of bandages. He briskly dodged the many hands that tried to grab for him. Finally being small came in handy for once. He cringed that he admitted that to himself. Chuuya sniffed the air and sure enough he could tell exactly where the brunette was sitting at his desk. As he bolted around the corner he jumped into Dazai’s lap almost knocking him out of his chair. He was pawing at Dazai’s chest trying to explain what happened to him but it only came out as incoherent barking.
Dazai frowned. All of his coworkers were fawning over an ugly mutt while he was making it a point to actually do some work. It was just a dog and a lost one no less. It already had an owner. What was so special about it? He had made his distaste for the animal apparent when Atsushi brought him up the stairs. Hadn’t he ever heard the phrase “let sleeping dogs lie” before? A single bark rang out from the conference corner causing him to turn his head before everyone’s panicked cries could be heard. It must have woken up and the amount of people surrounding the dog scared it away. Dazai should be fine at his desk or so he thought. The small runt tackled him almost making him lose his balance yapping up a storm. He frowned, glaring at the dog but that only made it continue barking and pawing at him. 
“Okay that’s enough.” Dazai snapped, holding the dog up with both hands. It was weird the dog stopped his infernal yelping, its eyes seemingly growing wide as both its tail and ears slumped downwards. Did the dog understand that it was being scolded? 
Atsushi stood in front of Dazai making sure the dog was okay “I thought you didn’t like dogs?”
“I don’t. Here, you take him.” 
The statement was dismissive as he tried to hand Chuuya off to Atsushi but before he could get a proper hold on him Chuuya jumped on to Dazai’s desk and started growling at the tiger boy. Dazai perked up again at the sudden change in the dog’s mood. 
“Maybe he can tell you’re a tiger.” he stated playfully.
“Or maybe he likes you, Dazai.”
Chuuya started barking again, taking an aggressive stance towards Dazai’s protege. Dazai stifled a laugh looking over the dog. It was a red long haired Chihuahua. The fur almost seemed unnaturally orange for a dog and paired with the black collar around its neck it almost reminded him of a certain slug. Maybe this dog was a Chuu-huahua with how little it’s temper was. 
"We should call him Chibi because he's so small." Dazai wanted to take a picture, draw Chuuya’s tacky hat on the dog and then send the picture to him. Of course he wasn’t going to because that was effort he didn't want to waste on the small creature but he still had the thought cross his mind.
Before Chuuya could bark in protest the president stepped into the room to address the obscure racket. They filled him in on the situation as Dazai resumed working, nudging Chuuya to get off the paper he was writing on and then completely ignored the dog. Naturally Chuuya stepped aside at a loss of what to do. The president was pretty okay with the agency taking care of the runaway for now until they found his owner but they would never find his owner since Chuuya wasn’t actually a dog. He hadn’t even noticed he was still wearing his choker which is probably why they thought he was lost. It fit loosely around his neck but since his coat of fur was so fluffy it wasn’t that obvious it didn’t fit him properly.
Chuuya was gutted that he didn’t turn back immediately but if he could just get Dazai’s attention the brunette would put it together. They could communicate nonverbally in the past with just a look. All Chuuya had to do was to make the stupid mackerel realize it’s him. He put his paw on one of the books discarded to the side. If he could make it float then his ex partner was sure to put it together right, but nothing happened. There was no red glow in fact Chuuya couldn’t even feel Arahabaki anymore not since the president said they would take him in. Was it possible that being a dog got rid of his ability? That can’t be right since he used it a few hours ago. He was more confused than worried. Dazai wasn't touching him; he should be able to use it. Chuuya grit his teeth but tried to appear calm. Chuuya glanced towards the president, was it possible it was his doing? He didn't actually know if the president had a special ability but it's also not like he doesn’t remember N explaining that animals are not capable of manifesting special abilities. It's just peculiar that he was able to use it when he first turned. Maybe it took him a while to fully transition to being a dog?
 He didn’t have much time to think about it as Kunikida tried to pick him up off the desk. He kicked his hand away and growled again. He refused to let anyone come near him. Chuuya might be a dog but he didn’t want to be touched again. Knowing how good it feels to be pet and pampered he’s afraid he’ll lose himself in the warmth, plus he needs to focus. His train of thought crashed when Dazai patted his head calmly saying “No one’s going to hurt you here. You can stop your growling. It’s annoying.” 
He didn’t miss the glint of daggers in the other’s eyes, it was oddly comforting. If it was anyone else he would have bit them but right now Dazai was the only one he trusted. Chuuya nodded at Dazai causing him to pause. Chuuya would smirk if he could because he understood what that look meant. It was a subtle gesture but since he’s known Dazai for years and in that split second he could tell the other was caught off guard. 
Dazai blinked, did the dog just nod at him? It was getting increasingly difficult to dislike this dog when it kept peaking his interest. Most animals have always hated him but cats usually were the only exception. They say that animals can judge a person’s character and it seems like every small creature in Yokohama, including a certain slug, got the memo but this is twice now that this dog seemed to understand his words. Not even the cats that approached him displayed such obvious strange behavior. He could also be reading too much into this situation because he simply didn’t want to be working right now but that was more to spite everyone over the dumb dog.
Before anyone else could touch Chuuya, he jumped down and scampered underneath Dazai’s desk sitting by his feet. He had a lot to think about and he was still tired. He thought about going back to the facility to try again but it was too far for his small stature to traverse back and forth constantly and now he'd have to shake off these schmucks to do it. Honestly he could try dragging one of these losers with him, they are detectives after all. One of them could put it together but he doubts any of them would follow a dog around town for that long without thinking they’ve gone batshit crazy. The biggest problem is he didn’t know who the ability user was and there was no way for him to communicate effectively right now especially since his ability disappeared. Or was there? He’d have to think of something.
Atsushi and Kunikida watch in awe as the dog practically follows Dazai’s command. They both peer under the desk to see him curled up by Dazai’s feet. Atsushi raised an eyebrow. 
"I'm not the only one who thought that was weird right?" Laughing awkwardly as he looked around when everyone circled the desk.
Kunikida pushed up his glasses "I guess he's a lot smarter than he looks." Chuuya peeked out to bark again before glaring at the blonde. He could see this startled Kunikida slightly. 
Dazai sighed "I think you guys should leave Chibi alone for a bit. Let him get used to his surroundings."
"I'm impressed. Dazai, I didn't realize you were so good with animals."
His frown deepened "I'm not, I'm just saying that he's only gravitating towards me because I'm the only one who's left him alone." 
Dazai shifted to see the dog still at his feet lazily pawing at his shoe laces. He rolls his eyes. This dog was more of a cat than a dog but he supposed that with its small frame it wasn’t completely uncommon for a chihuahua to be fast and nimble but that does take the proper training to accomplish. Just whose dog was this, unless, was it possible this is Chuuya’s dog? Dazai remembered the hat rack always mentioning that he wanted a dog but for some reason he never got one. He smirked to himself. If that was the case Dazai would keep him for a while. Maybe he could train him to mess with his owner a little bit but first he had to find out if this was, in fact, Chuuya’s dog. Unfortunately finding that out would be too much effort even if it was to annoy Chuuya. He dropped the idea entirely. At the end of the day it was just a dog.
Everyone went back to their daily tasks giving Chuuya a much needed break from being the center of attention. He lazily played with the laces of Dazai’s shoes. He really had nothing else better to do. He heard the shuffling of paper and the scribbling of pens filling the room. Chuuya only assumed Dazai’s partner was furiously trying to blitz through paperwork. Glasses guy seemed like the workaholic type. Although that gave him an idea. If Chuuya could get his paws on a writing implement he could try spelling it out for Dazai. He slowly got up and walked around the corner to Kunikida’s desk. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch the dog except for the blonde. Gracefully he jumped up and knocked a pen and small notepad off of the desk. 
“Hey, what are you-” Kunikida stopped when he saw the dog try to take the cap off the pen. Dazai raised an eyebrow but knelt down to take the cap off for him.
Chuuya tried his best to write “help me” but when he looked down it was intangible scribbling. Next he tried to draw a fish which he was much prouder of when he really shouldn't be. Dazai tilted his head as everyone crowded around to see what the dog was doing. When there was still no reaction Chuuya rolled his eyes and drew a hat. Well he tried to draw a hat. Putting the pen down it looked more like a food bowl but come to think of it he hadn’t eaten anything and it was nearing lunchtime already. Chuuya placed the pen down sitting upright, puffing out his chest. Surely this was enough for Dazai to understand what was going on. 
There was a moment of silence from everyone before Kenji clapped his hands together "Oh I get it! He's hungry." 
Chuuya deflated, nosing the paper of the notepad to start over as the ADA were trying to figure out the food situation. Chuuya took his time with the next drawing. He needed to get it right this time but holding the pen in his mouth wasn't the easiest thing in the world when he had to pick it up from the floor. Luckily this time it was a recognizable fish. When he was done he pushed it towards Dazai stamping his paw trying to mentally communicate. 
Dazai tilted his head to the side "A fish?" Chuuya barked trying to correct it to "mackerel" but it was no use.
Kenji crouched next to Dazai on the floor. "Could it be, he likes fish!" 
The brunette raised an eyebrow before trifling through his pockets to pull out a can of crab. "Maybe he could smell this on me? That would explain why he tackled me earlier." He flatly added opening the can without a second thought. Seriously, what was he doing? He should let the others handle the pest. 
Chuuya stared at the open can silently laughing to himself. Some things never change, huh? Back when they were partners Dazai always carried around the same disgusting cans of crab with him. He contemplated pushing it away but at this point it was better than being relegated to eating dog food. Taking a hesitant bite it wasn’t as bad as he remembered it being. He lapped up the crab ignoring the rest of the office marveling his odd taste in sustenance.
"A dog who likes crab and Dazai? Atsushi, where did you even find such a creature?." Kunikida put his pen down for the moment. This situation was weird even for what they normally deal with. "Well he was just sleeping outside the entrance. I thought he was another stray until I saw the collar." Atsushi scratched the back of his neck. He didn't really think anything of picking up the dog since Kyouka had brought a cat to the office not too long ago. Kunikida pushed up his glasses “I guess Dazai should be the one to take care of it then.” Everyone in the
office nodded in agreement leaving Dazai in distress.
He scoffed “Why me? Might I remind everyone that I detest dogs!”
As Chuuya finished eating he casually walked back over to where Dazai was sitting and made himself comfortable in the brunette's lap. Kunikida laughed going back to his work. “Could have fooled me.”
Dazai grumbled, staring at the small creature. It wasn’t everyday that anyone trusted him enough to fall asleep in his presence. This dog really was like Chuuya. The thought only made him roll his eyes. “Yeah, as if.”
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damagedintellect ¡ 2 hours
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Nakahara Chuuya x Reader
💌 Would this be considered a social suicide? : Chapter 1  💌  
Summary: You knew it was dangerous to take walks at night but hearing the water rushing under the bridge was calming to your nerves. You didn’t imagine you’d ever fall into the river and somehow wake up in your favorite anime. The isekai that I’m sure will come back to haunt me. It’s kept me up all night but I might as well get the brainrot out.
Notes: Reader is Isekai’d into BSD, Slow to start, Chuuya is endgame but there’s a fair bit of reader & Dazai moments too 
💌 Word count: 2,348 💌  Available Chapters [You are here] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]
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You stood over the bridge looking out at the sunset. You would have to return home before it got too dark but the tranquil sound of the rushing water underneath you always calms your nerves after an episode. Things have been pretty rough lately but you’d live. As a writer you were your worst critic. You were almost done with your first big manuscript and you just needed to get past the final hurdle before you could start seeking out publishing companies. At the beginning your novel came easy but as the ending chapters were approaching you started to dread finishing it. The unknown future was a scary thought. Multiple what if’s flooding your mind. The fear that you would have wasted the better of a year and a half writing a story for no actual gain was one of them. It shouldn’t be considered wasted time because writing it helped you in many ways but the ever looming thought that you could have accomplished much more in the same amount of time is a burden that will never leave you alone. If only things could be as easy as the media you consumed. Your recent obsession with a certain anime series wasn’t helping either but it’s captivated your heart and it’s all you think about nowadays. Which is what spurred on the little tiff with your writing. All you’ve done recently is play the Bungo Stray Dogs mobile game trying to pull the rate up Chuuya unit to the point where you were actually no lifing it. While you agree that you might be going overboard just a little, you might actually have formed an addiction to playing marbles. You honestly preferred when you were analyzing and fantasizing about the contrast of the strong bonded characters. Not to mention how much you can see yourself in everyone. The amount of character study is comforting to you and one day you wish to write something that makes others feel the way you do when you read BSD. From your perspective this was just research but to the rest of the world haha whoops just your autism is showing. It’s a limiting belief you weren’t sure how to get rid of either. The need to constantly do and be productive with your time otherwise you fail at society when ultimately success is subjective.
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damagedintellect ¡ 4 hours
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Me: *says Chuuya Nakahara is my husband*
Also me: *could have released a cute fluffy romantic x reader chapter, instead post fic where he's a dog*
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damagedintellect ¡ 9 hours
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Skk Brainrot for Chuuya’s BDay
💌 When I said chibi was my dog this is not what I meant : Chapter 1  💌  
Summary: The minute he stepped into Mori's office Chuuya was already annoyed. While the Mafia dealt with foreign imports of all kinds, being told to investigate the strange influx of Stray Dogs across Yokohama wasn’t his ideal use of his skill set. Chuuya has always liked animals, animal's also liked Chuuya and he's always wanted a dog. He never expected to become a dog. The irony of Dazai calling him a dog all these years makes him want to scream. His ex partner has always been vocal about his disdain for two things. Now Chuuya is somehow both, and Dazai is the only one who can change him back.
Notes: Happy Birthday Chuuya~ I wanted to post something for Chuuya's birthday & this has been sitting in my drafts. Eventually this will have more than one chapter because I see the vision I just haven't had the time to write for it. Gonna base all the dogs on WAN.
💌 Word count: 3,754 💌  You Are Here | Next Chapter coming soon
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The port mafia was practically "in charge" of every illegal trade in Yokohama so the sudden influx of stray dogs, breeds that were not known for being popular in Japan, tipped Mori off. He couldn't help but sigh rolling his eyes because he probably should have someone look into it. As silly as the situation may have seemed the Port Mafia has a reputation to uphold. Although the juxtaposition of sending an executive to investigate was also incredibly ridiculous but Mori has seen animals gravitate to the young man and knowing that a certain partner used to claim all the time that Chuuya was his dog, brought back a level of nostalgia that plastered a smile on his face. Chuuya on the other hand was less than pleased with this position. The mafia’s greatest combatant being used as a sheepdog to herd in a bunch of no names to the slaughter was a waste of time in his personal opinion. Don't get him wrong, he'll do it because Mori's command is law but he's still going to complain about it. 
The investigation didn't actually take him that long to trace it back to a series of missing people reports. One person went missing and suddenly there was a new dog on the streets. Although it seemed pretty cut and dry it was still concerning that the authorities haven't done anything about the disappearances. Most of the cases occurred near the edge of town where plenty of abandoned facilities were located. It was possible whoever was behind this was hiding there. Chuuya had only assumed what was happening, he had a hunch that it wasn't even animal's being imported. The power of science was a bizarre field to him, after all, he contained a power equal to that of a God.
What he didn’t expect was for it to actually be someone's ability. Why let the dogs out on the street if it was someone’s ability? He only had more questions but Chuuya didn't care one way or the other because what difference would it make to him. He was given the order to take them out regardless. Mori wanted the facility intact for further investigation after the group was swiftly dealt with but it was more of an afterthought. Chuuya didn't even bother taking reinforcements; he simply walked through the front door and watched as they realized nothing could touch him. He cleared out floors left and right until the only way down to the lower levels was an elevator. His ability should have been able to handle whatever trap had been set but then the room filled with gas, one of the very few things his ability had no effect on. Chuuya could only hold his breath for so long and despite manipulating the drop from the elevator to compensate for the impact of fall damage, he was already dizzy. By the time he forced the doors open, with a few steps out of the elevator he found himself collapsing to the floor.
His head had a dull ache that spread to the rest of his body. They didn’t kill or physically harm him yet which could only mean they want information but they must be more stupid than they look to not even bother trying to restrain him. All they did was put a cloth over him. His joints were sore as he tried to clutch his head. When he shifted the cloth fell off revealing not a hand but a paw. He wiggled out of what used to be his clothes to get a better look at himself. Observing the new changes to his body, he was a dog. A fluffy chihuahua if he had to guess by his reflection in the glass across from him. They seemed to have put him in some examination room. He turned around and shook his tail. The feeling of an extra limb was more apparent and weird but he didn't have time to dwell on it for too long. Someone was going to pay.
The familiar red glow covered his form as he continued what he came here to do. Being a dog wouldn’t matter in the end. He'd just change back after he killed the ability user, but even after clearing the building he didn’t. He ran up and down the empty halls struggling with the new sensation of walking. The panic was starting to set in. He still hadn't changed back and there was not a soul left in sight at the entire facility. That means they got away before Chuuya woke up. He grit his teeth. He didn't know how long he was out for and tracking them down would be a pain in the ass in the state he was in. The only thing that gave him some relief was that he came alone and that none of his comrades were in this predicament. He could only imagine the chaos an entire division of dogs would do.
Trying to sift through files with paws was a nightmare. It took all of his self control to not destroy everything in this godforsaken lab. Chuuya just hoped this weird organization didn't send back up his way otherwise he was screwed. He couldn't find anything important and his patience was running extremely low with how long it was taking to even grab a file from the desk. If he was human it would take him two minutes to settle this whole endeavor. Chuuya stopped dropping the papers from his mouth.
If he was human.
A wave of dread washed over him as he realized there was one person who could fix this.
Dazai.
He really didn't want to see the mackerel especially not like this but what else could he do. He couldn’t go back to headquarters like this. He couldn’t even phone for someone to help him, he tried. Even if someone picked up he could only bark and hoped they understood. All Dazai would need to do was touch him but there was one glaring problem with that. Dazai hates dogs. He wouldn't voluntarily approach them let alone pet one out in the wild. If Chuuya tackled him to the ground he would be forced to at least touch him right? He took off in the direction of the ADA without a second thought. Completely forgetting about his hat, his phone and the rest of his belongings. He sure had a lot of faith in Dazai’s ability.
Chuuya was exhausted halfway there. Walking on all fours was miserable considering the distance he had to cover and he was even using his ability to help travel which probably only made him more tired. Luckily it was so late in the night there weren't a lot of people or cars around. By the time he made it to the agency building he was ready to collapse. He sat by the door as the sun was already starting to rise. It would be hours before Dazai would show up. He let himself sleep in the meantime he was too tired to try and fight it.
“What’s going on here?”
A voice stirred Chuuya awake from his sleep but he didn’t want to wake up yet not after the night he’s had. He could sleep in a little more right? He didn't have to make his report immediately. He contemplated just how long he would sleep in before another voice joined the conversation.
“Hey Mr. Kunikida.”
Chuuya swears he’s heard the name before but it doesn’t fully click why. He was about to get up when he felt a hand smoothing out his hair. A warm feeling washed over him preventing him from wanting to move. He let the voices talk while he leaned into the unknown touch still keeping his eyes closed. 
“A lost dog, did you really think things through before bringing it here? Listen, it's a lot of responsibility taking care of a living creature.”
Lost dog
That broke Chuuya out of his pleasant stupor. He opened his eyes and got up abruptly. He was sitting in the white haired kids lap while a bunch of agency members were surrounding him. None of them were the one he needed to see.
“Dazai!” he tried shouting as he scrambled out of the kid’s grasp to find the waste of bandages. He briskly dodged the many hands that tried to grab for him. Finally being small came in handy for once. He cringed that he admitted that to himself. Chuuya sniffed the air and sure enough he could tell exactly where the brunette was sitting at his desk. As he bolted around the corner he jumped into Dazai’s lap almost knocking him out of his chair. He was pawing at Dazai’s chest trying to explain what happened to him but it only came out as incoherent barking.
Dazai frowned. All of his coworkers were fawning over an ugly mutt while he was making it a point to actually do some work. It was just a dog and a lost one no less. It already had an owner. What was so special about it? He had made his distaste for the animal apparent when Atsushi brought him up the stairs. Hadn’t he ever heard the phrase “let sleeping dogs lie” before? A single bark rang out from the conference corner causing him to turn his head before everyone’s panicked cries could be heard. It must have woken up and the amount of people surrounding the dog scared it away. Dazai should be fine at his desk or so he thought. The small runt tackled him almost making him lose his balance yapping up a storm. He frowned, glaring at the dog but that only made it continue barking and pawing at him. 
“Okay that’s enough.” Dazai snapped, holding the dog up with both hands. It was weird the dog stopped his infernal yelping, its eyes seemingly growing wide as both its tail and ears slumped downwards. Did the dog understand that it was being scolded? 
Atsushi stood in front of Dazai making sure the dog was okay “I thought you didn’t like dogs?”
“I don’t. Here, you take him.” 
The statement was dismissive as he tried to hand Chuuya off to Atsushi but before he could get a proper hold on him Chuuya jumped on to Dazai’s desk and started growling at the tiger boy. Dazai perked up again at the sudden change in the dog’s mood. 
“Maybe he can tell you’re a tiger.” he stated playfully.
“Or maybe he likes you, Dazai.”
Chuuya started barking again, taking an aggressive stance towards Dazai’s protege. Dazai stifled a laugh looking over the dog. It was a red long haired Chihuahua. The fur almost seemed unnaturally orange for a dog and paired with the black collar around its neck it almost reminded him of a certain slug. Maybe this dog was a Chuu-huahua with how little it’s temper was. 
"We should call him Chibi because he's so small." Dazai wanted to take a picture, draw Chuuya’s tacky hat on the dog and then send the picture to him. Of course he wasn’t going to because that was effort he didn't want to waste on the small creature but he still had the thought cross his mind.
Before Chuuya could bark in protest the president stepped into the room to address the obscure racket. They filled him in on the situation as Dazai resumed working, nudging Chuuya to get off the paper he was writing on and then completely ignored the dog. Naturally Chuuya stepped aside at a loss of what to do. The president was pretty okay with the agency taking care of the runaway for now until they found his owner but they would never find his owner since Chuuya wasn’t actually a dog. He hadn’t even noticed he was still wearing his choker which is probably why they thought he was lost. It fit loosely around his neck but since his coat of fur was so fluffy it wasn’t that obvious it didn’t fit him properly.
Chuuya was gutted that he didn’t turn back immediately but if he could just get Dazai’s attention the brunette would put it together. They could communicate nonverbally in the past with just a look. All Chuuya had to do was to make the stupid mackerel realize it’s him. He put his paw on one of the books discarded to the side. If he could make it float then his ex partner was sure to put it together right, but nothing happened. There was no red glow in fact Chuuya couldn’t even feel Arahabaki anymore not since the president said they would take him in. Was it possible that being a dog got rid of his ability? That can’t be right since he used it a few hours ago. He was more confused than worried. Dazai wasn't touching him; he should be able to use it. Chuuya grit his teeth but tried to appear calm. Chuuya glanced towards the president, was it possible it was his doing? He didn't actually know if the president had a special ability but it's also not like he doesn’t remember N explaining that animals are not capable of manifesting special abilities. It's just peculiar that he was able to use it when he first turned. Maybe it took him a while to fully transition to being a dog?
 He didn’t have much time to think about it as Kunikida tried to pick him up off the desk. He kicked his hand away and growled again. He refused to let anyone come near him. Chuuya might be a dog but he didn’t want to be touched again. Knowing how good it feels to be pet and pampered he’s afraid he’ll lose himself in the warmth, plus he needs to focus. His train of thought crashed when Dazai patted his head calmly saying “No one’s going to hurt you here. You can stop your growling. It’s annoying.” 
He didn’t miss the glint of daggers in the other’s eyes, it was oddly comforting. If it was anyone else he would have bit them but right now Dazai was the only one he trusted. Chuuya nodded at Dazai causing him to pause. Chuuya would smirk if he could because he understood what that look meant. It was a subtle gesture but since he’s known Dazai for years and in that split second he could tell the other was caught off guard. 
Dazai blinked, did the dog just nod at him? It was getting increasingly difficult to dislike this dog when it kept peaking his interest. Most animals have always hated him but cats usually were the only exception. They say that animals can judge a person’s character and it seems like every small creature in Yokohama, including a certain slug, got the memo but this is twice now that this dog seemed to understand his words. Not even the cats that approached him displayed such obvious strange behavior. He could also be reading too much into this situation because he simply didn’t want to be working right now but that was more to spite everyone over the dumb dog.
Before anyone else could touch Chuuya, he jumped down and scampered underneath Dazai’s desk sitting by his feet. He had a lot to think about and he was still tired. He thought about going back to the facility to try again but it was too far for his small stature to traverse back and forth constantly and now he'd have to shake off these schmucks to do it. Honestly he could try dragging one of these losers with him, they are detectives after all. One of them could put it together but he doubts any of them would follow a dog around town for that long without thinking they’ve gone batshit crazy. The biggest problem is he didn’t know who the ability user was and there was no way for him to communicate effectively right now especially since his ability disappeared. Or was there? He’d have to think of something.
Atsushi and Kunikida watch in awe as the dog practically follows Dazai’s command. They both peer under the desk to see him curled up by Dazai’s feet. Atsushi raised an eyebrow. 
"I'm not the only one who thought that was weird right?" Laughing awkwardly as he looked around when everyone circled the desk.
Kunikida pushed up his glasses "I guess he's a lot smarter than he looks." Chuuya peeked out to bark again before glaring at the blonde. He could see this startled Kunikida slightly. 
Dazai sighed "I think you guys should leave Chibi alone for a bit. Let him get used to his surroundings."
"I'm impressed. Dazai, I didn't realize you were so good with animals."
His frown deepened "I'm not, I'm just saying that he's only gravitating towards me because I'm the only one who's left him alone." 
Dazai shifted to see the dog still at his feet lazily pawing at his shoe laces. He rolls his eyes. This dog was more of a cat than a dog but he supposed that with its small frame it wasn’t completely uncommon for a chihuahua to be fast and nimble but that does take the proper training to accomplish. Just whose dog was this, unless, was it possible this is Chuuya’s dog? Dazai remembered the hat rack always mentioning that he wanted a dog but for some reason he never got one. He smirked to himself. If that was the case Dazai would keep him for a while. Maybe he could train him to mess with his owner a little bit but first he had to find out if this was, in fact, Chuuya’s dog. Unfortunately finding that out would be too much effort even if it was to annoy Chuuya. He dropped the idea entirely. At the end of the day it was just a dog.
Everyone went back to their daily tasks giving Chuuya a much needed break from being the center of attention. He lazily played with the laces of Dazai’s shoes. He really had nothing else better to do. He heard the shuffling of paper and the scribbling of pens filling the room. Chuuya only assumed Dazai’s partner was furiously trying to blitz through paperwork. Glasses guy seemed like the workaholic type. Although that gave him an idea. If Chuuya could get his paws on a writing implement he could try spelling it out for Dazai. He slowly got up and walked around the corner to Kunikida’s desk. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch the dog except for the blonde. Gracefully he jumped up and knocked a pen and small notepad off of the desk. 
“Hey, what are you-” Kunikida stopped when he saw the dog try to take the cap off the pen. Dazai raised an eyebrow but knelt down to take the cap off for him.
Chuuya tried his best to write “help me” but when he looked down it was intangible scribbling. Next he tried to draw a fish which he was much prouder of when he really shouldn't be. Dazai tilted his head as everyone crowded around to see what the dog was doing. When there was still no reaction Chuuya rolled his eyes and drew a hat. Well he tried to draw a hat. Putting the pen down it looked more like a food bowl but come to think of it he hadn’t eaten anything and it was nearing lunchtime already. Chuuya placed the pen down sitting upright, puffing out his chest. Surely this was enough for Dazai to understand what was going on. 
There was a moment of silence from everyone before Kenji clapped his hands together "Oh I get it! He's hungry." 
Chuuya deflated, nosing the paper of the notepad to start over as the ADA were trying to figure out the food situation. Chuuya took his time with the next drawing. He needed to get it right this time but holding the pen in his mouth wasn't the easiest thing in the world when he had to pick it up from the floor. Luckily this time it was a recognizable fish. When he was done he pushed it towards Dazai stamping his paw trying to mentally communicate. 
Dazai tilted his head to the side "A fish?" Chuuya barked trying to correct it to "mackerel" but it was no use.
Kenji crouched next to Dazai on the floor. "Could it be, he likes fish!" 
The brunette raised an eyebrow before trifling through his pockets to pull out a can of crab. "Maybe he could smell this on me? That would explain why he tackled me earlier." He flatly added opening the can without a second thought. Seriously, what was he doing? He should let the others handle the pest. 
Chuuya stared at the open can silently laughing to himself. Some things never change, huh? Back when they were partners Dazai always carried around the same disgusting cans of crab with him. He contemplated pushing it away but at this point it was better than being relegated to eating dog food. Taking a hesitant bite it wasn’t as bad as he remembered it being. He lapped up the crab ignoring the rest of the office marveling his odd taste in sustenance.
"A dog who likes crab and Dazai? Atsushi, where did you even find such a creature?." Kunikida put his pen down for the moment. This situation was weird even for what they normally deal with. "Well he was just sleeping outside the entrance. I thought he was another stray until I saw the collar." Atsushi scratched the back of his neck. He didn't really think anything of picking up the dog since Kyouka had brought a cat to the office not too long ago. Kunikida pushed up his glasses “I guess Dazai should be the one to take care of it then.” Everyone in the
office nodded in agreement leaving Dazai in distress.
He scoffed “Why me? Might I remind everyone that I detest dogs!”
As Chuuya finished eating he casually walked back over to where Dazai was sitting and made himself comfortable in the brunette's lap. Kunikida laughed going back to his work. “Could have fooled me.”
Dazai grumbled, staring at the small creature. It wasn’t everyday that anyone trusted him enough to fall asleep in his presence. This dog really was like Chuuya. The thought only made him roll his eyes. “Yeah, as if.”
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I accidentally posted the fic on my other blog ugh I fixed it but still
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ADA Dazai x Reader
💌Obligatory sex pollen fic I guess?? chapter 2💌
Summary: Certain abilities Dazai can dispel outright without touching the user. This has always confused the brunette greatly where the technical line was drawn. During Q's apocalypse, he couldn't bring individuals back to their senses but with Shiwabusa's fog he could prevent Chuuya’s ability from manifesting. Apparently this “Sex pollen” ability was more like the former example. Which left Dazai the only one conscious of their actions as everyone fucked like rabbits.
Notes: Based on a dream I had a few nights ago....This chapter is shorter because I started waking up once I realized it was THAT DREAM, I'm literally crying it got a second chapter some one help😭
Contains: sex pollen, dubcon, pregnancy, mpreg, pregnant Fyodor, Fyodor being painfully religious, 🍋 in chapter 1
💌 Wordcount 1,971 💌 Chapter 2 of ?? [If I have another dream I am obligated to update this] <= Previous chapter
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Just like that for a few weeks everything was back to some semblance of normalcy. Out of sight out of mind you guess. Once you stopped feeling sick all the time you could hardly tell you were pregnant at all. You were still confined to the office since it would take anywhere from 3 to 6 months to fully heal from your injuries but that was fine with you. Honestly you don’t understand how Dazai does it. You've been pampered by Yosano's ability. It didn't even occur to you that you'd still have to have some sort of physical therapy afterwards either. Meanwhile Dazai gets shot and stabbed all the goddamn time and he takes it like a champ. Just one more reason to like him you guess.
Dazai looked up to catch you staring. You didn’t look away but your face did start to feel warm. You hadn’t really sat down and talked about it in depth yet. That night or about the child and honestly no one in the office has really tried to bring it up either. Although you still don't know what to say, sooner or later someone has to say something and hopefully it won't have to be you. Unfortunately you have a feeling it's going to be you.
Dazai glanced at the door and frowned. He's been trying to avoid any meaningful confrontation but judging from the sounds outside he swallowed. He knew those footsteps better than anyone and it was only a matter of time before “he” showed up. This might as well be happening today. Without warning Chuuya emerged from the doorway looking annoyed. 
“Okay, which one of you is the weretiger!”
Atsushi hesitantly raised his hand. You raised an eyebrow at the exchange. What was the mafia executive doing looking for Atsushi? Dazai sighed and rose to his feet, putting an arm around Atsushi as Chuuya approached the two. 
“Why Chuuya, what brings you out to our domain! I almost didn't see you there, have you gotten shorter?” He smiles cheerfully. You swear you could see flowers and sparkles surrounding him.
Chuuya crossed his arms “Go to hell and wait your turn. I have a bone to pick with you after I square away business with the tiger boy.” He glared at Atsushi, sizing him up. “And you, my boy Akutagawa hasn't been the same since your guy's little rescue operation. Mind telling me why that is?” It was surprisingly less threatening and more of a genuine question.
Atsushi’s face flushed a few shades darker “Why don't you ask him! He's the one who-” He stopped mid sentence, groaning. He figured Akutagawa wouldn't talk about it to anyone either but being asked directly because Akutagawa was out of sorts was insulting. How did he think Atsushi felt? “You know what, the bottom line is I'm pregnant and it's his fault he used his stupid ability like that. If anything I should be the one who's traumatized!” 
Chuuya hummed, putting his hand under his chin as he thought about an earlier encounter. “Oh so that's why he was muttering about being bound to the weretiger. He was saying something about not even holding hands yet and having to marry you. Guess that makes me the godfather for two babies then.” the redhead shrugged like this conversation was an everyday occurrence.
Atsushi slouched, was this karma for trying to suggest that Fyodor and Nikolai should get married? 
“Don’t tell me Akutagawa is religious too.”
Chuuya furrowed his eyebrows. “What? No listen kid, this is about stepping up to responsibilities. Raising a kid's a big deal.” He looked over at Dazai with a smirk about to add one more thing but Dazai interjected, flicking the brim of Chuuya's hat.
He continued to wave his hand in the other's face. “Who said you were the godfather? I don't remember calling you.” Both of their expressions went flat for a moment as they glared at each other passively.
“You should have, it would have been better to hear the news from you than from Mori.” He huffed “Why didn't you? It's not like you to go back on your word. What happened too, I wouldn't lie about something like this.” He mocked in a Dazai like fashion.
“I thought you were too drunk to remember that!” Dazai whined.
“Yeah well I also remember promising to be your best man if you ever lived long enough to find someone.” Chuuya leaned back into his hip “So?” the redhead crossed his arms, waiting.
“So what?” Dazai said matter of factly. As the two stared back at each other, Atsushi finally sat down. Why did they have to do this at his desk?
“So what? You're not even going to introduce me!”
Dazai rolled his eyes. Is that really what Chuuya came here for? When Chuuya walked in you had gotten up from your desk to make tea. As you brought the cups over Dazai walked around you and put his hand on your shoulder “(Y/N), Chuuya, Chuuya, (Y/N). There, you happy?”
“Wait (Y/N)? You mean your-” Dazai cut him off but Chuuya looked surprised. You wonder what he was going to say. It sounded important.
Dazai pankicked and grabbed the other from behind covering his mouth as he dragged him out into the hallway. “Nope that's it you overstayed your welcome.” 
Once the door shut Ranpo pouted “I'm pregnant too ya know. I wouldn't mind Mr. Fancy hat being the godfather.” He puffed out his cheeks.
Atsushi rolled his eyes. “That's all you got from that!”
Ranpo sighed “No, I also got the image of Akutagawa tying you up so thanks for that.” 
Atsushi stood up so fast his chair nearly fell over. “How can everybody speak about it so casually!” 
He looked over to you with pleading eyes. Atsushi was probably hoping you'd back him up. Instead you laughed, handing him the disregarded tea. 
“Well for starters only the adults are here today and the more you talk about it the less power it has.” You handed the detective another cup. “Although instead of putting you on the spot Ranpo should have asked if you wanted to talk about it first or at least opened up about his experience.”
He took a sip of tea before shrugging. Ranpo didn't mind sharing at all in fact he’s glad someone asked about it. “Not much to say really. Poe hugged me from behind and by the time I realized he wasn't doing it to be cute I just kinda went with it.” Ranpo shrugged with a smile on his face. “I'm more curious what happened with Kunikida!”
The blonde tensed as you set the last cup down in front of him. He had stopped his typing as a bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face. “Do I have too?” Out of everyone in the office Kunikida had been the one trying the hardest to skirt around the conversations. He wanted to forget it ever happened. It was bad enough that Dazai would tease him about it whenever they were alone.
Ranpo hummed “Akiko's really careful because she could never give up drinking for that long, so since you're not forced into being a dad, dealer's choice?” You all nodded in agreement, it only seemed fair since you were putting him on the spot.
Kunikida pushed up his glasses. You assume he probably doesn't want to share. Instead he turns to address you. “Which reminds me, I thought Yosano gave you a contraceptive too?”
“I was so exhausted I forgot it was in my pocket and never took it.” You frowned. It didn't feel like a priority in the moment but like most of them you were out of it. “But forced parenting aside, right now this is about sexual trauma.”
 Kunikida cleared his throat “I wouldn't know what to share. I turned to look at Yosano and the next thing I know we're kissing in a passionate manner.” He paused wondering if he should say something about the elephant in the room. “Also this should go without saying, but no one is forcing you to be a parent. Ranpo and Atsushi might not have a choice but there's still plenty of time for you to think it over. No one would stop you if you decided you're not ready to be a mother.” This was true but your mind was already made up. 
Somehow only Ranpo knew of your crush? You thought it was fairly obvious. Had it been anyone else you probably would have gotten rid of it by now. 
Ranpo laughed before you could answer, sharing his two cents. “Who said I don't have a choice? I'm choosing to have this little munchkin! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to see what me and Poe create. Besides, I've always wanted a mini me!” He patted his stomach proudly.
Atsushi sipped on his tea “That's true. So in a weird way it kind of worked out for you and Poe huh. At least one of us lucked out.” He’s been avoiding Akutagawa as much as possible ever since that night.
Ranpo snickered, “I would say two of us lucked out.” He draped one around your shoulder opening his eyes to give you a smug look. “Well you care to share with the class? This was your idea after all.” 
So that’s why he bothered to bring all of this up. You sighed in defeat. “Lucked out my ass!” Your cheeks were red as Atsushi and Kunikida gave you incredulous looks “Keep in mind Dazai was fully conscious of his actions. He kind of just let me get it out of my system in hope that I would eventually snap out of it,” You groaned hiding your face in your hands “and yes, apparently I was begging him to fuck a baby into me. Is that what you wanted to hear, Ranpo!”
Ranpo blinked a few times “You didn't have to go that far but yeah I was just trying to get you to mention your crush on Dazai.”
“You have a crush on Dazai?!” Both Atsushi and Kunikida shouted. Kunikida nearly spat out his tea. You groaned “That’s why I was planning on keeping the child but I feel like I'd be baby trapping him.”
“It’s not baby trapping if you decide to keep the child, it's your body. I already told you that you have the final say.”
Everyone slowly turned their heads back to see Dazai coming back into the office. You swallowed “How much of that did you hear?”
“Not much but you already told me your reason for wanting to keep the kid.” He shrugged nonchalantly and everyone wiped their heads back to you.
Atsushi was dumbfounded. “Wait a second, let me get this straight. He knows that you-”
Dazai spoke over him. “-Always wanted kids, it's not that big of a deal. Unless that's not what we're talking about?” He tilted his head to the side. Did he miss something? It took a lot out of him to turn Chuuya away especially after the stupid slug made his own revelations about the situation. 
You released the breath you were holding. Everyone else understood Dazai was just as oblivious to your feelings as always. Eventually you would have to tell him but it was still early enough in the process to figure that out. At least everyone else in the office knew why you’ve been acting weird since that night.
Kunikida groaned at the realization. “I don't know if I can handle a mini Ranpo running around, let alone a mini Dazai.” He went back to his work. “It’s bad enough having to work with Dazai as is.”
You laughed as the two tried to defend themselves.
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an unmatched feeling actually
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You ever just read something that shakes you to your core and now you're paralyzed for the rest of the day because it was 11/20 chapters and last updated a month ago but your brain isn't done thinking about it
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Okay so y'all are probably so done with me but like 😭 I had another bsd dream but for Chuuya and I'm screaming because my ex boyfriend from highschool was in it and Mori was having us assassinate him because he owes a favor to an important trade investor and I'm just like 😭😭😭 wtf he do to piss of the mafia
To be fair we went on one date and he started calling me his girlfriend and then when I tried to break up with him he cut himself and told me he'd kill himself if I broke up with him, then proceeded to cheat on me openly for 3 months before he actually let me break up with him so mother fucker had it coming but still
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💌 I'M SCREAMING, WE STAY WINNING 😭
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people telling you they reread your fic is the biggest compliment you could ever receive. there are thousands of stories out there begging to be found, to be explored, but your story meant so much to someone that they came back to it eagerly, they went over every word again. to love is to return and loving a fic is rereading it. thank you to all readers and rereaders <3333
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...I had another bungo dream but not for the "Obligatory sex pollen fic" this one was Nikolai and Fyodor centric and welp.... I guess I add it to the list to write
fuck dude this one really will take me forever because the dream took place in the middle of the tea and I just had to figure out what was going on as it went on
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xreader fic is so inherently healing like
do you love yourself? no? that's okay this character you love loves you back. are you kind? that is why they love you. are you patient? that is why they love you. are you a coward are you shy are you brave are you bold are you bratty? that is why they love you. you are loved and you will not be punished for seeking love. you are loved and you will find it here in these words.
do you love yourself yet? no? that's okay this character can love you until you do. this character will point out the few traits you can relate with yourself (your smile, your laugh, you brattiness, your whimsy, your strength, your sorrow) and tell you that they love that about you until one day you can love it, if not yourself, too.
do you love yourself yet? no? but you're starting to accept that you can be loved? that there is something in you- your awkwardness, your bashfulness, your straightforward mind, you ability to heal, your ability to fight- that someone could look at and learn to adore? well done. you're right, this character does see that and adore it. you may not love yourself just now, just yet, but now you see right? That there is something to love in you?
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💌 I shit you not had another Bsd dream, I can't believe I'm saying this but it's getting a part 2 😭😭😭
ADA Dazai x Reader
💌Obligatory sex pollen fic I guess??💌
Summary: Certain abilities Dazai can dispel outright without touching the user. This has always confused the brunette greatly where the technical line was drawn. During Q's apocalypse, he couldn't bring individuals back to their senses but with Shiwabusa's fog he could prevent Chuuya’s ability from manifesting. Apparently this “Sex pollen” ability was more like the former example. Which left Dazai the only one conscious of their actions as everyone fucked like rabbits.
Notes: Based on a dream I had a few nights ago. At least what I can remember of it. It's got some plot holes & semi ooc but it was hilarious, I had to share it with the class.
Contains: sex pollen, dubcon, pregnancy, mpreg, pregnant Fyodor, Fyodor being painfully religious, 🍋
💌 Wordcount 5,160 💌 Chapter 1 of ?? [I might actually continue this bc I want to see where it goes but not a priority unless ppl like it]
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After the Shiwabusa incident you thought most ability users left Yokohama but it turns out someone is hunting down the surviving few. It's the reason why the special divisions unit Ango is a part of reached out to the ADA. There had been missing people cases flooding his desk, all with one thing in common. Every last one of them had been ability users. This didn't seem like the work of the Decay of Angles or any other known organization on record. It didn't line up with their past methods and ideologies. Plus Dazai added that Fyodor would never be this sloppy. Most were taken in broad daylight with no concerns about witnesses.
Between Ranpo and Dazai, they were able to sniff out the new threat with ease but they still didn't have enough information to assume the motive behind the kidnappings. Ango could only give so much details to go on because the member of his team that was investigating this case also disappeared. The first priority would be to find the hostages. With that in mind Ranpo insisted on working alongside the remaining guild members and, for some reason Akutagawa. Your guess was that Mori sent him to reclaim some mafia members who vanished as well. Apparently Chuuya was also supposed to join the investigation but ended up being stuck overseas. Instead you were to partner with Dazai.
You and Dazai, Kunikida and Yosano, and Ranpo and Poe were on recognizance while Lucy, Kenji, Kyouka, and Junichiro were on rescue, leaving Atsushi and Akutagawa as a diversion first and foremost but if they can capture the culprits that's an added bonus. Despite splitting up, you, Dazai, Kunikida and Yosano ended up trapped in the same room. Not exactly trapped, you could use your ability to get out but you still needed info.
“This isn't looking good.” Kunikida said flipping through the radio frequencies. “The signals jammed.” He looked up at Dazai as he nodded. “They know we're here.”
“We walked into a trap” Dazai gritted his teeth. There was no way to warn the others. He pushed you out of the way frantically typing at the computer that you finally hacked into. You look back at the scattered files on the desk. You were kicking up dirt. So far you've found a comprehensive guide to all the missing people. Which you already had from Ango. The only difference is that this seemed like a test subject profile. The more you read through them the more you realized they really focused on the compatibility of certain abilities. That's when you smelled something alluring and you dropped everything. 
Dazai heard the clattering and ignored it. He was pissed off. It felt like he was missing something glaringly obvious. He slammed his hand on the desk muttering under his breath.
“Anyone else find-” Dazai stopped mid sentence as he took in the sight infront of him. Kunikida and Yosano were looking at each other lovingly as they hastily stripped, and pulled the other close. That's when Dazai finally noticed the faint pink dust in the air. An ability?
“I know what they're trying to do.” You said standing in front of the distracted brunette. He snapped out of his stupor when you gripped his shirt. Your pupils were dilated and your breathing was ragged. Biting your lip, it took your last bit of sanity to not jump Dazai. You took a deep breath. “P-please touch me, before I can't think straight.” Your eyes were narrowing on his lips. The desire to kiss him while you fuck like rabbits was swirling in the pit of your stomach.
He reached out to touch your forearm but it didn't do anything to help clear your head. “Shit, you gotta be kidding me” You are trying to fight your impulses . Internally you moaned at the touch. Your head lulled forward pressing into his chest. You couldn’t describe it but something about his scent was luring you in. This is really bad. Dazai looked over to Yosano and Kunikida. They were being really lovey dovey and handsy. He gulped as he felt you unbuttoning his vest. He grabbed your hands to prevent you from undressing him further. “Stay with me (Y/N). What's their goal?”
“They,” you inhaled heavily “no I, want you to fuck a baby into me!”
Dazai blinked back at you dumbfounded. He took a step backwards, that's what he was afraid of. They were up against a sex pollen ability user and he was the only one not affected. He tried to push you away but he was conflicted, you had him pushed against the wall with your body. Dazai has had a soft spot for you that he never intended on tapping into. A crush? A sexual fantasy? He didn't want to explore it but here he was letting you paw at him while you stripped away your clothes. He's had dreams about this and now it's actually happening but it couldn't have been at a more inopportune time and place. Just staring into your horny hungry eyes already left him half hard and he cursed his body for reacting this way.
“Dazai don't you love me?” You cooed.
Love was a strong word, he would rather not think about but he was left at your mercy as you crashed your lips on his. He groaned into your mouth. This was the best and worst case scenario. Best because you are forcing yourself onto him and not someone else. He could only imagine the jealousy he would have felt if you ended up with any of his coworkers. Although this was the worst because he knows he’s not going to stop your advances. Slowly he slid down the wall and let you crawl into his lap. He couldn't say no to you. Dazai has always made sure to keep everyone at a distance but not you. His head and his heart couldn't be bothered to make decisions right now. He found his hands caressing you just as feverishly as you were feeling him. He should stop. Dazai was in his right mind you were not but your touch was intoxicating. He let you unzip his pants and set his member free. Dazai threw his head back as you fully engulfed him. You were so warm and wet with no prep needed, ready to take him in. This was wrong but it felt so right. Dazai has always found it easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.
You were kissing his jawline and bouncing on him with such vigor he wasn't going to last much longer. You were both a mess and as he felt your walls shake around him he held you in place and finished you off with a thrust of his own. You both were spasming in bliss as he hit his climax. He had been too enthralled with his own pleasure; he forgot to think about why you all were here in the first place. He was about to ask you what it was you found when he felt you roll your hips again. 
A jolt of pleasure washed over him as he gently held your hips from doing that again. He just came, he needed a minute. Dazai was easily overstimulated and he feared that he might not have a choice in a moment but while he still had the strength he needed to do something. 
“But Dazai~” You whined into his ear “You need to fuck a baby into me! Once isn't going to cut it.” You struggled to move as he pinned you to the floor. He hoped with this new position you wouldn't be able to do that much damage before he was capable of another round. On the other side of the room he could hear Yosano and Kunikida still going at it. Sounds he really never wanted to hear from either of his colleagues. Dazai weighed out his options, grabbing for the files you dropped earlier. He dug out his phone. The signal was back, probably because they knew everyone would be incapacitated. He tried calling Ango to update him that the plan failed and everyone needs extracting now before the rest of you get captured.
—
When you finally came too you were exhausted and sticky with Dazai’s arms wrapped around you. You tried to push him away but his grip only tightened as he cried out “Aaahng~ Stop moving! I can't take anymore! Nghh~” He was trembling and breathing heavily like he was going to pass out.
“D-Dazai?” You don't remember anything past when you dropped the papers. You tried retracing your steps. It finally occurred to you that you were sitting flesh against Dazai’s lap, feeling the fullness of multiple rounds with his dick pulsing inside of you. You choked on a moan as you involuntarily clenched around him. The events of the evening were catching up with you. You had been begging Dazai to fuck you which is something you had always wanted to do but never had the guts to say. You've had a crush on him since you joined the agency but never tried to pursue a relationship with Dazai. Mostly because he was a massive flirt to most women. You would reciprocate his flirty jokes and he always gave you a look like no one's ever done that before. Playful banter aside you don't think it meant anything on Dazai’s end.
 He whimpered in your ear again “hmmmng P-please don't move I swear I’ll explain. I just need a minute. You've been riding me for an hour I-” He was panting desperately trying to catch his breath. His fingers were digging into your skin to keep you as still as possible. “sex pollen user, couldn't stop it. Fuck” 
You felt Dazai lift you up to pull out, gasping as his body slumped against the wall. You tried to move out of his lap but your legs were numb. Although the slight movement made you feel the cum dripping out of you. Your head was a mess. The words “you had sex with Dazai” were repeating like a mantra. 
 “I'm so sorry-” you had started to say but he grabbed your shoulders “It's not your fault. I could have stopped you at any point but I didn't know if we were being watched.” Which was true but definitely not the reason he didn't stop but you didn’t need to know that. “As soon as everyone was affected they stopped jamming the signal so I managed to have Ango send reinforcements. I should be the one apologizing for taking advantage of you.”
You were both at fault but not at fault. Net neutral you guess? You didn't dwell on it because you don't remember. Still you were embarrassed by everything. You know you weren't in control of your behavior but still. Dazai was being too dismissive about it. You wanted him to look at you disrespectfully. You understand that the mission comes first but you're still a woman. You have assets he should be ogling at. Like right now as your clothes were long forgotten about besides you. 
As soon as you opened your mouth Ango and his men busted down the door. Apparently the rescue team managed to move all the hostages to Anne's room before the sex pollen hit the air and they were just waiting for it to dissipate. So the mission was not a complete failure like you thought. If anything you'd have to wait to see what Ranpo and Poe had discovered. All you were able to report was that they were trying to match make compatible ability users.
Ango tried helping you to your feet but your legs were unstable and you were back on the ground in a matter of seconds. It made getting redressed a challenge but Yosano was able to help. The doctor wasn't nearly as fucked out as you were but considering Dazai let you have your way with him it makes sense. Since your legs were still wobbly Dazai ended up carrying you out. This flustered you way more than the realization of having sex with your crush. His cum was currently inside you and somehow being princess carried was what made your head explode. You buried your face in his neck as you met up with the others. No one batted an eye except Ranpo who smirked and gave you a thumbs up. 
On the bright side everyone seemed just as disheveled and out of it. You don't blame them either. Ranpo and Poe were probably just fine, you've always suspected that they were that close already but Poe was extremely skittish more so than usual. Both Atsushi and Akutagawa looked traumatized. Kunikida was in a similar state but Yosano didn't mind one bit. If anything, her being unfazed was unnerving everyone. Well everyone but Ranpo, Dazai and Akutagawa but you doubt Akutagawa would care even if he wasn’t so distraught at the moment. Whatever the case it was interesting watching everyone's reactions to whatever happened tonight. You were just glad that Lucy, Kyouka, Kenji and Junichiro didn't have to go through it.
By the looks of it the sex pollen user got away but Atsushi and Akutagawa did manage to tie up some goons for further questioning. After a quick debrief Yosano came up to you and pulled out a sealed tablet, instructing you to take it as soon as possible. A morning after pill, you assume. It suddenly clicked why she was so casual. Every time you've gone out drinking with Yosano she's always managed to go home with some attractive stranger. This was similar to one of her drunken escapes except this time Kunikida was the victim of her flirty advances. Poor Kunikida looks like he's about to kill himself for stepping outside of his ideals.
With everything seemingly done and dusted you all went home. Ango drove you all back to the dorms and you managed to walk to your room just fine. You were still haunted by the events you don't remember and you want to ask Dazai but then again maybe you don't. If you don't remember you could almost gaslight yourself into believing that it never happened. That way you could still preserve the idea that your first time with him will be special. Although based on the fact he dismissed it so easily, you don't think he finds you attractive in a sexual sense. Again you'll never know unless you talk to him but it's still embarrassing for you, but hey it could have been worse. Originally you were supposed to be on a different team had Chuuya not been overseas. Or maybe it was because Chuuya wasn't here that the ability user was able to incapacitate all of you. None of you were captured so it's fine. 
Within the next few days everything went back to normal. Well close to normal, you still couldn't look Dazai in the eyes but you haven't partnered with him since that night. Currently you were with Kunikida and Atsushi for a mission. The boys have done most of the work but as you were finishing up one of the bastards tried to take you from behind. You dodged the initial attack but as you went to retaliate you froze. Your ability wasn't working. You ended up getting shot twice before Atsushi was able to get to you.
“My ability is gone, I can't feel it at all.” You coughed up blood holding your wounds. It wasn't fatal but you were losing blood and fast. Your vision was starting to sway as you were rushed to Yosano.
When you woke up you were in the infirmary at the agency. Atsushi was still getting checked out even though the tiger would ultimately heal any major injuries. As you sat up you felt the pain of the two bullet wounds. Normally Yosano would use her ability to fix it instead of letting you heal naturally. They both looked at you with a wary expression.
“Atsushi, can you check if Dazai’s done and send him in?”
He only nodded before scampering off. You tilted your head at why Dazai needed to be called in. Yosano sat next to you “How are you feeling? Are you able to use your ability now?”
You tried really hard but no dice. “I feel like I've definitely been shot twice but more unnerving I can't feel my ability at all. What's wrong with me?”
She nodded, handing you a cup. “I'll try to explain it if I can, but I need you to get me a urine sample. How long has it been since you ate?”
You looked at the clock you had breakfast at 9 and it was currently 4, whoops that means you skipped lunch. “About Seven hours?” 
���I can give you painkillers after you get blood drawn. Not being able to feel your ability is throwing me a curveball so I want to make sure I check all my bases.”
“Okay.” You grabbed the cup and made your way to the bathroom. As you stepped out into the hallway you nearly bumped into Dazai, whose look of concern didn't go unnoticed but you only bowed slightly before you hurried off.
By the time you came back Dazai was already in the room. Yosano took the urine sample and walked into her office for a second before folding her arms across her chest. “There’s no eloquent way to put this and honestly as a doctor this is the grossest thing I've had to do but the reason why you can't use your ability is because Dazai’s sperm is probably still swimming around in your uterus.”
Your face started heating up as you stuttered “I-It's almost been a week how is that possible!”
Dazai hummed “Oh, so that's what the sample was for.” 
Yosano rolled her eyes “Unfortunately” she frowned before she continued her explanation. “Technically it's only been five days and that's about the cut off for irregular sperm lifespans.” She walked back to her office and came back with two negative pregnancy tests. “I wasn’t too worried about the results since you took the contraceptive but it's my job to be thorough. You should be able to use your ability by tomorrow unless Dazai’s sperm is just as hard to kill as Dazai is.”
Dazai shrugged, “I'm just surprised this hasn't come up before. Back when I was-”
Yosano put her hand up “I don't need to hear the rest of that. It's bad enough we had sex ten feet away from each other.” Yosano looked back at you, “Until you get your ability back I won't be able to use my ability on you either.  For now you'll have to heal your injuries the normal way.” You nodded.
Unfortunately as tomorrow came you still couldn't use your ability. You glared at Dazai who laughed at the situation. He was having a field day with how powerful his seed was. You haven't told the others what was going on but you're sure all the adults understood why you were out of commission. Kenji was the only one who kept asking questions you genuinely didn't know how to respond to. He was so innocent and Dazai was playing into it. This was killing you. How are you supposed to forget that night if it's all anyone is talking about. Not to mention that you were basically tied to your desk for the time being taking painkillers like candy.
A few more days later and to mostly Dazai’s surprise, since Yosano was out on a mission, you still couldn't manifest your ability. This was getting ridiculous. At first Dazai joked about it almost having a sense of pride but today he had been awfully quiet and no one likes a quiet Dazai. 
You had been more tired than usual. The injuries were taking their toll so you got up to make some tea in the office kitchen to help you relax. Today was a fairly busy day for everyone, but you. The others were all coming and going but you were still confined to the office. It was a jarring situation,  typically Dazai was the only one who had to heal like a normal human being. You sighed, pouring your tea. 
“Still nothing?”
You turn around to see Dazai holding a small paper bag, leaning against the doorframe. You shook your head. “Still nothing.” You didn’t want to think about it but you set your tea down motioning to the bag he was holding “Is that what I think it is?” You took a pregnancy test the other day, Yosano gave you a pill, this really shouldn’t be happening. Actually, did you even take the pill? Thinking back you were exhausted and out of it and you remember drinking water and going to sleep but did you not actually take the pill? Your head was hurting just thinking about it.
“Only if you want it to be. I can throw it away if you'd prefer.” Dazai put the bag in his coat pocket as he approached you. “To be honest I'm not sure if I want you to find out either. Logically I doubt you are, because if you were, then your ability should have come back by now. My DNA would have turned into our child's DNA and the nullification should have stopped.” He stood next to you leaning back on the counter. “However if you somehow are, I fear it wasn’t just a sex pollen ability at play.” He grit his teeth yet another ability he wasn't able to negate the effects of.
You looked at him eyes wide. That was their true goal. “They were trying to breed ability users.” He nodded as he looked down.
“That's why they waited for us to show up. I have a feeling they were after one of our abilities. Which is probably why Ranpo paired you with me. A copycat ability is already strong as it is but in the wrong hands it would be astronomical.”
You swallowed hard “I don't know how I feel about this. I kinda don't want to know because if you're right then what? If I'm pregnant then somehow everyone is pregnant? How would that work for the guys? Would you want to keep the child, or wait if it's an ability, is it even possible to keep the child?” You looked at Dazai, he was clearly uncomfortable with your questioning. “I guess I should probably take it before I work myself up over nothing.” You held your hand out lowering your head, waiting for him to give you the test. He raised an eyebrow “Do you want moral support or?”
“Depends if it's positive are you going to go buy milk and never return?”
“No promises, I never planned on having kids.” He shrugged.
“No really? I'm surprised” you said sarcastically “I've always wanted kids but I don't think this is the right time.”
Dazai stood outside the bathroom while you paced back and forth. The wait was killing you. You still had a minute left. Grabbing the test you opened the door. “Dazai we're friends right?”
“I would say so. Why?” He gave you a quizzical look. 
“I just wanted to make sure that you don't hate me? I don't know, that might change in a second.” You bite your lip as you flip the test over. Sure enough it was positive. Dazai leaned over your shoulder causing you to nearly drop it. “Well, I still don't hate you in case you were wondering. If anything I hate that what I speculated may be right to some degree. Which is more annoying than anything else.” Dazai's eyes narrowed thinking about, for lack of a better moniker, the anti-Fyodor. What were they trying to gain out of making more ability users?
Dazai didn't move and being in his proximity after finding out he did in fact fuck a child in to you, was making you dizzy. “I need to lay down”
You moved sluggishly as Dazai reached out and touched your shoulder “If you need anything just let me know. I'm the one who's responsible for all of this. I'm not going to make you do this alone.”
You both made your way to the couches in the waiting area as Ranpo came back from his mission. Dazai pulled him into the other room presumably to update him on the situation. That this “threat” isn't over and indeed was just the beginning.
You carefully laid on the couch your thoughts were scattered. On one hand you were glad it was Dazai but at the same time this just makes your relationship more complicated. As your eyes slowly close you realize you never actually drank your tea either. There was a good chance you forgot to take the pill too, it's probably still in the pocket of what you wore that night. Yawning you shifted to make yourself more comfortable. It had been hard sleeping the past few days but the pain has decreased significantly today. You were so lost in thought that you didn't even notice that Dazai draped his trench coat on your sleeping form. He stood there for a moment thinking about how cute you looked while you were sleeping. 
He wondered if his kid would look as cute. Speaking of kid, he should probably check on Ranpo. Dazai only took a guess at who the other possible pregnant people were but knowing that Ranpo is often lazy and chooses to forego physical activity if he could help it, he wouldn't doubt for a second that he had Poe do all the work. As he walked into the bathroom Ranpo was already using his glasses to stare down at the pink piece of plastic. The detective frowned, discarding the spectacles. 
“I blame you for this.” Ranpo showed the other the result. “This probably means Atsushi is also pregnant?” He took a deep sigh before adding “Things are about to get a lot more complicated.”
Dazai frowns. “No kidding.”
Ranpo smirks, opening his eyes to look at you on the couch before addressing Dazai again as he walks away. “Congratulations by the way.”
—
 It had been about a month and morning sickness was no joke. You would rush to the bathroom midsentece if you even felt remotely queasy which was a stark difference to how the other two handled it. Ranpo had placed waste receptacles around the whole office but still ended up puking out the window once or twice because he couldn’t be bothered to move the three feet to use a bin. Atsushi on the other hand would grab a waste bin but would end up swallowing it half the time off of pure reflex because he didn't want to waste food. The first time you watched him do it you and Ranpo immediately grabbed for a bin. Today hadn't been too bad for the nausea but you might have spoken too soon. You watched Atsushi perk up standing up from his desk.
“Knock knock!” out of thin air a familiar yellow portal appeared at the entrance. Your favorite jester took a bow before he opened his cape to release who knows what into the office.
“Nikolai!” Atsushi was the first one to jump into action as the rest took a defensive stance waiting for a fight. Dazai pulled you behind him as Fyodor casually stepped through the overcoat. “Long time no see, Dazai.”
“Fyodor, why are you here?” It was more of a statement than a question. 
The air was tense as Ranpo crossed his arms “Don’t tell me you're also pregnant!” Everyone looked shocked and waited for confirmation.
“I am and the child is an affront to god. That is why I've come to inquire your services. I require assistance with the abomination.” He motioned over to Kunikida “I made an appointment under a different name.”
Kunikida raised an eyebrow as he looked through the client meeting list and sure enough there was one scheduled for an ambiguous medical inquiry. “You came to get rid of the child?”
Gasping Fyodor looked taken aback. “Absolutely not, for a man to be pregnant is a miracle. Although most doctors are ill equipped to accommodate for the male anatomy.” He placed his hand over his stomach for emphasis.
Dazai rolled his eyes. “I thought you said it was an affront to god?” He crossed his arm clearly trying to upset the other.
Fyodor glared at Dazai. “It is but having an abortion is a worse sin than the child being born of wedlock. Nikolai will simply kill the child after they are baptized. I am here to take advantage of your doctor, as they are already overseeing male pregnancies.”
Atsushi was confused how Fyodor was even in the same situation to begin with but even more so now after hearing his reasoning for coming to the ADA. “Why don't you guys just get married? I don't know, it just sounds like a lot of work if you plan on killing the kid anyways.”
“Do you have any idea how difficult immigration can be? It is disgustingly time consuming to get married overseas.” Fyodor groaned “Not to mention the child will be a Japanese citizen while Nikolai is Ukrainian and they do not allow dual citizenship, it's all so messy.”
Ranpo walked up, putting a hand on Atsushi’s shoulder. “He's right you know, it's a massive pain in the ass.”
“Of course it's a pain in the ass we're here on work visas. I'm not dealing with immigration, I'm a terrorist not a psychopath.” Fyodor seemed to slump into Nikolai’s side as the white haired man held him upright “Dos-kun you should probably sit down.” the russian nodded and let Nikolai lead him into the waiting area.
Yosano looked over Kunikida's shoulder. “If they have an appointment I guess we should at least hear them out. Especially if what he says is true and he is with child.” This was all incredibly bizarre for everyone.
Dazai nodded “Fyodor wouldn’t make his presence known if he didn't have something up his sleeve. Any insight Ranpo?”
Ranpo had his glasses on and shrugged “It all checks out. He's not lying about genuinely coming here for medical attention but I suspect they were accidentally caught by the sex pollen. They probably had planned to wipe out as many ability users as possible but underestimated our opponents just as we did.”
You turned to go make tea but Dazai immediately grabbed your arm “I'll handle the tea. I don't want him getting too close to anyone just in case he tries to pull something.” His serious expression softened as he patted your head. “You should go rest for a bit too. You're still healing.” You nodded with a light blush on your cheeks.
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