diagnosis: "are they mad at me" disorder

hmmm thanks for saying my hair looks really good this time😋 but also I would like you to flirt more cause I really am out here being delulu

I will literally never be able to listen to that song again, and the fact that Spotify thought it would be nice to play it is fucking rude. because as if I wasn’t having a shit enough day now I get to be depressed too? not okay, at all. apparently it is a facade most days.

like and men wonder why we’d choose the bear every time.

you’re literally disgusting and have a drug and alcohol problem, you working all the time was NOT the issue with our relationship buddy. don’t come to my store to see me, just be blocked and deal with it dude.

"you're so good at reading between the lines" thanks it's the anxiety!!

not me smiling when your snaps come through. once again, I repeat, fuck.

not me, about to be touching up my hair, and I’m adding a different color to it because you said it would be cool. what a silly little thing.

you know what part of a relationship I think I miss the most? the quality time of just eating together. and I don’t even mean sit down nice dinners, I miss those evenings where I worked late and we just grab sheetz or chick fil a or something and sit in bed and eat it while watching tv, there’s something on the tv that we’ve both seen hundreds of times, adventure time or new girl, how I met your mother. simple things like that, it’s sad how much I miss that.

I don’t ✨know how✨

GET YOUR BODY OUT OF SURVIVAL MODE SO YOU CAN CREATE FROM YOUR HEART

I’m so fucking confused and my soul and heart aren’t in it and I’m just like, what am I doing wrong here with my life? why can’t I go out and do things and meet people and talk and not be a ball of anxiety and in a panic? and I’ve always been so dependent on relationships, not financially cause no man besides my father have ever taken care of me that way, but just dependent in general as in needing a relationship, why am I so afraid of being alone? I should be okay being alone, but I crave building a home and future with someone and I just feel like a failure because I don’t have that and it feels like I never will.

Is it bad that I just want to not date and stay single forever just to spite everyone constantly hounding me that I need to get out and date? because I’ll do it, I won’t be happy about it and I’ll be lonely and dying for attention but I’ll do it.

cause why the fuck do people need to interject themselves into my dating life so deep? my coworker shouldn’t be harassing my male customers/friends about taking me out, and shouldn’t be yelling at me that I need to make the initiative to ask them out. I don’t like asking people out, it gives me anxiety and I’ll be a baby about that all I want. It’s just exhausting feeling like I’m disappointing people by this.

“God, I'm jumpin' in the deep end

It's more fun to swim in

Heard the risk is drowning, but I'm gonna take it”

I’m so fucked.

Sorry I fell in love with you in two days do you still want to fuck me?

well fuck now what. because I had a good time and you made me laugh A LOT, and then when you dropped me off back home we just sat in your truck for literally an hour outside my house talking and there is absolutely nothing better than a car chat.

I did not want to get out of your truck. fuck.

I find I smile much more at work when I’m reading smut.