Nikolai

limited edition food is a great evil that needs to be criminalized.

I've been following you since I think I was in late middle school, and I'm in college now. I can assure you that no matter what, we will all continue to support you/your work and be proud of you!! :)

That's so much for my heart!!! I'm so happy that you've enjoyed my art throughout the years and are still here enjoying it now. It's just so cool and flattering to hear that you've been such a longtime follower. Thank you for your kind words, really I'm so lucky to have wonderful followers.

As you change and grow, many of us will happily follow along! Whatever you decide to create, and whatever username you decide to go by.

thank you sm for this week and supportive message 💕 I appreciate the people who have followed and supported me during this turbulent years and my patchy activity. thanks sm again for this kind message!

One last pearlescent ray of light slips behind clouds. A distant peal of thunder. My cat lays his head in my lap and the sound rolls and fades. The rain is on its way, sweeping down the canyon. It’ll be here in just a moment. Just a moment. All around me the world seems changed.

uughghg I feel so disconnected from this username but I'll put it under a cut. CW: suicide/death mention

As an artist, I'm always changing in some way. I always accept the changes wholeheartedly, bc that's what growth is. I feel this username is associated with a part of me who is gone now and I worry sometimes people except a certain sort of content, which I obviously wouldn't force myself to produce. I heavily associate this username with a horrific time in my life bc things began to get really rough around the time I began to use this username and then ofc I went on long hiatuses during the use of this username. My sister's death was not an overnight event. Her physical and mental health deteriorated over the course of years. During those years, it consumed me entirely. Mind, body and soul. That's when I became less and less active. That chapter of my life was horrific, but it has passed. When I say 'passed', I mean to say that my sister is gone and will never come back to me. I am existing in a way I never have before, I'm learning to cope and carry on without someone who made up half of my fucking soul and shaped me in too many ways to count. I'm now in a new place mentally and physically, and using this old username really just reminds me of the difficult times and the art I had created back then. I also draw Fortune much less bc my sister and I heavily bonded over her. She became a comfort character for my sister, and she drew her almost daily for me and made me various other gifts. I often see Fortune now as someone who harbors sadness and loss. It's not entirely the case, but in a lot of ways its hard to draw her now. She was my happiness, and I am blessed she was happiness for my sister too. Now, it's hard to find that comfort in her. Anyway, those reasons are why I want to change my username but have no ideas! ALL of my usernames have been inspired by BMSR/Tobacco in the past but I haven't really connected to any songs lately. WOW rant but it's been on my mind for years. If I go with a new username, I won't abandon this account or anything. At least I'm super happy to say I've finally connected to a new nickname! I have been going by Pony for a long time now, I wish it were my real name lol But it's really really nice to have found a connection with a nickname. Anyway thank you for reading and for following me through all my ups and downs and hiatuses and changes.

edit also:

I still heavily associate with the word ‘hole’, so it would be cool to find username with that word. I love the idea of holes and not knowing what is in them. I also have a connection to sunflowers in more recent years, but the word is so long. Idk! Usernames tend to just come to me, so that’s partially why I haven’t officially moved on from this username even tho I have tried 💀 I always revert back bc others didn’t feel right. Anyway.

little moon u r my everything

Little Moon

Little Moon

I love your art so so much, been following on insta for a very long time and i didn't realize you have tumblr until today! Sooo happy

Thank you sm for sticking by me! I really appreciate the support, thanks for giving me a follow here 💕 thanks for enjoying my art!

ME ME ME I'M SMART I'M RIGHT I'M SMART

Friends in a Field

Just kind of gushing

sometimes, all that keeps me posting art is seeing people say how it’s emotionally resonated with them. I’m so truly moved by what people tag my art with sometimes and the comments or messages I receive. My art is almost 100% focused on expressing my emotions, thoughts, memories and other significant things in my life. To see that it’s also somehow connected to others is a wonderful feeling. Anyway, to anyone who has ever felt connected to my art, stories or characters- thank you for telling me, indirectly or directly.

oh, and anyone who generally thinks my art is neat or cool or whatever else, y’all are also in my heart. Thank you genuinely for all the kindness.

sorry but that entire season shouldve been about pretzel jack

If you made a movie I'd watch it, I don't even care about quality or budget. If you filmed a horror movie with your phone I think it would turn out insane.

Ngl, I've dreamed about making a short horror series of any kind. I would love to make a short analogue horror, I even have a couple ideas but I just lack the know-how and time to learn-how. Thank you for the kind words, got my artistic confidence pumped :~)!

I love your art so big even the little ones, I'm so freakin happy to see your art all of the time (aaaAAAAAAA♡♡♡!!)

Im so GLAD you exist!!!

thank you for this message aaaa I'm really glad you like it in all shapes and sizes. Such a sweet message to get me through the day, thank you again. I'm glad YOU exist too :,-)