i really love this more than anything

I HAVE BURNS NOW

SO MANY BURNS

HORRIBLE BURNS

DONT ASK FOR JUDE AT THE LIGHTLESS FAME HEALTH SPA

DONR GO TO THE LIGHTLESS GLAME SPA

I was in A&E for several hours and my back is In Absolute TATTERS

DoNT GO THERE

I conquer, though I don't know who Melanie is, she doesn't want to work here. I got bitten on the ass by a worm, am probably 60% oolong tea because of my cubicle neighbor, bless him, and the Boss Is A TAD unhinged to say the last on the matter

NO MELANIE DONT TAKE THE JOB

He fell out of his chair once when I came in, I haven't a clue why, but he spilled coffee all over his shirt, then Martin ran by and apparently accidently let a Dog in the building. Apparently for the second time. It was a Fun day.

You would think Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, would learn to lock the door when he’s recording supplementals to avoid being walked in on, which happens too many goddamn times for the thought to not have occurred in his paranoid little head.

The ideas quite appalling because he does a Terrible western accent. He tried in the break room yesterday and Tim started singing Can't Stop Me Now to drown him out, it was dreadful

EXCUSE ME W H A T

Blackwood came in and told me it was written by this guy Mr sims doesn't like and me sims has had a lot of caffeine today and something about there being a lot of statements to cover and work related stress or something

I mean I have half a mind to quit at this point, I've been assaulted, bitten, burrowed into, Oolonged.

I tried to bring it up with Mr. Boucharde but when I did I got really lightheaded and nearly passed out. He gave me leave off today and told me to go home and rest, but I have a coupon so I think I'll go for a massage at this lovely place in Sheffield.

I WAS JUST TACKLED TO THE GROUND BY MY BOSS BECAUSE I FOUND THIS BOOK AT A CHARITY SHOP AND WANTED TO SHOW THE OFFICE BECAUSE IT LOOKED SPOOKY FOR DECORATION.

I SIMPLY TOOK IT FROM THE BAG IT WAS IN AND SHOWED IT TO MR SIMS FOR THE GLASS CASE OF MEMORABILLIA IN THE HALL

he may be afraid of Spiders but I have no clue

Should I sue? Am I allowed to sue?

Can someone tell me what the big deal is because don't understand. Thank God I was able to take a picture before he Wisked it away

I was hired by a bloke called Elias, but he certainly has a flare for the dramatic. I didn’t think I’d get the job because I was a theatre major in college and have No experience with books, but then I told him about the time I was Convinced My co-star was a different person and my director made me take a leave for my mental health and He Hired me. Why? I have no idea. He said something offhand about A Stranger or The stranger. I’m guessing he was talking about my keen awareness for stranger danger or? Something? Well, that and I know he hired mr.Sims and he is slightly unhinged.

is one of Jonah’s recruitment qualifications the possible drama that assistant will bring to the archives? because by god, did he pick up the most dramatic archive assistants, does he like to watch the soap opera we call an archive with his newly wedded soon to be divorced husband all while basking at all the drama he thought he created

SO UH THE WORMS BITE, APARENTLY

One was trying to GET IN

INSIDE MY SKIN

ALL I WANT IS TO LIVE A QUIET LIFE WITH MY CAT, IN MY FLAT IN BRIGHTON

But no I Have To Get Bitten On The Arse Cheek While I’m In The LOO in a God Damn Scooby Doo library

sorry i’ve been away

there are worms? in our building

for some reason theres an infestation of worms in our building and my boss has lost his mind

i don’t know what they are but i am Concerned

how do worms even infest?

can worms infest? infestate?

i have so many questions

I put on Aerosmith and just got an infraction when the statement giver ran out of the room.

Apparently they didn’t like dead silence while i recorded them..

turns out the statement was about being alone in a “too quiet” house

oops

wtf dude i put music on but the “getting work done” montage never started

The boss wants me to record statements now, but the problem is i can’t figure out how to work a tape recorder. Who the hell even uses these things? and i can’t say “please mr. sims, please give me a lap top, i can’t use this thing” i’ll look  proper thick in the head. 

its not my fault my parents used modern technology.

I mean we don’t even have computers! just Dust and moldy paper.

So, the lad in the cubicle near mine keeps offering me tea.

i don’t know how to tell him i Don’t like oolong. I’ve drank like 3 mugs now. but he’s just too sweet. someone help me please! i have two people waiting to give statements btu my hands won’t stop shaking long enough to take notes

i could get lost in a gym kit

Got lost in my culdisack earlier today and was nearly late for work, i kept making wrong turns or something. aparently  i was only late for about 5 minutes but it felt like ages

The guy who interviewed me just asked me what my greatest fear was and i don’t think he blinked until i answered

hmmm the meaning of life …sitting on bean bags .. looking at clouds …… eating bread… thinking about vampires……. putting your hands out the window when it rains…. sharing recipes… saying I love you…. etc etc 

My boss won’t stop ranting about a girl exploding and people on drugs

i’m starting to second guess taking this job, 

he threw a coffee mug of black tea and now i smell like my nan’s house

send help