Everything Fades

There wasn't a difference.

He didn't need to know what was going on outside of the walls that he currently resided within. There was nothing that he could do to shift all of the horrors that lurked in the streets. He wasn't there, at least not fully. He'd become an accustomed apparition. A phantom of all he used to be. He was simply wearing the skin of the man Jayla called their father. It wasn't him entirely anymore, yet it was. That was why they had returned. They needed to inform him of everything going on in the city that he once loved. The city that he'd convinced them was going to be something great one day. And it was. For one moment everything was perfect. Vivid hue returned to a world that had been left colorless to them. They wondered if they were prepared to tell him. It was something that he'd earned the right to hear The scars paved across his limbs told the tales of all he had done to help their kind. None of the Halder's were gifted. They had no blood running through them that altered their physique and allowed them to do the things that the mutants... No not mutants. Supers. There was no blood that reminded them of ichor to be spilled from their skin. How could they form the words that he needed to hear? Would they be able to sit there and inform him they were terrified that the riots would once more rise? How could they let him know that right now, as they penned their name across the sheet of paper, supers were being thrown to the ground and collared? Their steps were shaky as they wondered what they could do to stop themselves from further disappointed him. They wondered briefly if he truly were disappointed in everything they had become. Could it simply have been a fear that they were projecting upon him? They'd told him about Mayor Scott, though they weren't sure that he understood.

"Hi, dad... I'm back."

It was a start, something to ensure that they would continue speaking. "A lot happened since I came last. And I know it hasn't been long I'm trying to do better. Come more. You need company... they told me that you were doing better a few days ago. That you were lucid they told me it was only for a few minutes." Clearing their throat they slowly sit beside him. Their gaze falling to their lap. "I um... I'm not sure how to start so I'm just going to. There's a new mayor, and he's an awful man." Shaking their head they look out of the window. "He's allowing the supers to be thrown into jail and... he's putting them in collars that render their gifts useless." Looking at him slowly they look down quickly lowering their voice. "I have no clue what to do dad... I can't just sit around anymore." Scoffing they bury their face in their hands. "If I don't do anything I'm going to hate myself... and I'm afraid that you'll hate me too. I can't deal with that." They knew he would likely never find out if they simply stood aside and let everything happen. "I need to continue it. I need the key dad. Where did grandpa put the key you have to remember." They gently rest their hand on his as they look at him with their brows raising. They meet his glazed over eyes that are slowly wandering the room searching. Occasionally landing on their face and holding it before drifting off once more. They want to scream at him to look at them, to recognize them. That they were there. They had finally stopped avoiding it, finally came back. They wanted to tell him they weren’t going anywhere. It was time to stop running. It was time to pick up their fathers work. To dust the shelves and find the key to the places that had been long since explored. Searching his eyes their brows lift slightly as the words pour from his lips. It’s his voice, yet it doesn’t feel like it is. 

"You sound just like my little slugger. Are they coming today..? Is Jayla going to be here?" 

margotdayal‌:

“–Oh jeez, I’m really sorry, I didn’t see you there,” Margot hurridly said. She’d accidentally just bumped into a person, having not paid any attention because her eyes were currently glued to her phone. “I’m just so obsessed with pictures of this new black hole. I think I’ve read almost every article on it twice. Have you seen the picture of it yet?”

“𝓨𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓸𝓷𝓮.” Laughing they shake their head. “I have. It’s extremely interesting.” They wouldn’t admit the second they heard about it theyｉｍｍｅｄｉａｔｅｌｙpoured hours into researching it. “You think the big guys found everything they could in space, and then a girl photographs the one thing you thought was impossible. It really should be bigger news than it is.”

📲 || jude

jay: he's gotten worse jude i don't know what to do. i just...

jay: he was doing better last month i thought it would be fine to focus on work.

jay: he didn't recognize me, he looked right through me. i fucked up. i can't be alone right now i don't want to deal with myself.

jay: can you please come over, or could we just go somewhere? anywhere? please.

mccnhcseck‌:

His brows furrowed slightly, confusion evident on his features. “Does– Does that mean you are married?” He carefully asked, even though that didn’t explain why the other was bringing up their appearance. “A-Ah, I’m sorry, I don’t–” God, was it embarrassing to admit he didn’t understand. As if cringing at his thick accent wasn’t enough of an embarrassment or his obvious discomfort in any social interaction. Hoseok usually prided himself in being smart – not that he assumed he knew everything, but he tended to be quick to catch on to things and was usually able to keep up, even if his stiff posture and lack of a response suggested otherwise.

The brunet carefully took a step closer, albeit very hesitantly, as if he was still waiting for permission. “The noise, the people… Just– It feels… fake.” He quietly replied, carefully choosing his words and hoping he wouldn’t anger anybody with them. He knew all too well he made it sound like he didn’t want to be here (which was the truth) and Jay would probably ask him why he was here if that was the case. He didn’t really have an answer to that, apart from wanting to do his foster parents a favor, he guessed. They’d looked so proud once they’d dressed him up in something far less depressing than his daily attire, he didn’t have the heart to ask to stay home.

“I, um, I don’t really drink, so…” He trailed off, not sure where he was going with that. I’ll have to endure this sober. Something along those lines, he guessed. “I don’t… really want to learn about them, either.” He added quieter, hoping that didn’t sound rude. “My parents said… it would be good. To- To come. But, ah… I don’t know anyone…” He lifted his shoulders in a weak shrug. “I’m not good at- at this.” Whatever this was; parties, people, leaving his bedroom.

His hand moved to subconsciously scratch at his itchy arm. “I’m not, um, a… mutant.” Hoseok then carefully responded. “I– My dad was- is. He is. He’s not- not dead, he’s just-” In prison. “Away…” A shaky breath. ”Do– Do you think he can? Change their minds, I mean? Ah, the mayor. Not, um, not my dad.” He let out a nervous laugh.

“Oh god no. And I don’t see myself getting married.” Laughing they shake their head. “My mother would have killed me if I got married when I was sixteen. I’m nonbinary.” Waving a hand they smile. “Not that the conversation was any easier. Your parents spend sixteen years investing in the idea they have a daughter, only for you to flip it on their head. You constantly hear people talking about pink or blue, boy or girl... it should be a big deal.” Shrugging they look at him again. “But I mean it’s not weird to me. It’s just... me.” They were grateful their parents had been so supportive and understanding.

Nodding in agreement they offer a sad smile. “That’s because it is.” Leaning back they cross their arms with a soft sigh. “All of it is fake. They don’t know each other. They just know the faces are familiar. So they’ll pretend to care for the duration of the event. But they’ll disappear from each other's lives until the next.” It was disappointing... Jay knew that but the words flowed so quickly they couldn’t stop them. It was liquid courage they muse emptily as they stare into the void. How they longed to see a falling soul to make a wish upon.

“Smart kid.” Their gaze once more finds him. The sad smile shifting into something perhaps hopeful. “Honestly it’s a temporary solution.” Looking at the ground they exhale slowly. “Nobody does... it just happens. Gradually.” Jay could count on one hand how many people they’d encountered at events like this that had changed their life. And they had quickly departed this world to join everyone else they’d given a shit about. “Forcing someone to leave their comfort isn’t going to help. It only makes you want to retreat back to safety. It does get easier though.” Pushing away from the small wall they’d been leaning against they glance back through the giant windows.

“I’m not the type to chase mutants with a pitchfork and torch.” They’d seen enough violence already. Not that they could admit it. “My dad is too... away that is.” Could he really be considered away when they knew exactly where he was? Was his deteriorating memory enough to consider him... away? Jay was sure it wasn’t. But it was easy than facing the truth. Then seeing what was actually in front of them. It was better to say he was away, then realize they were simply playing the part of the distant child. “But I think he can yes. My dad... He would have loved to be here for this.”

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Summer Bishil photographed by Diana Ragland (2018)

lvdygrim‌:

despite her best efforts, it seems, to keep to a more subdued presence while wandering about, nerissa had a habit of drawing attention even in her more subtle movements. as such, lingering in the shadows wouldn’t keep for very long at all before a friendly face drew her gaze and lonesome ear, finding it difficult to stray from conversation or a quick dance now and again. she’d found a need for fresh air before long however, and who could blame her? swaying about in the splendor of the room was more than a bit dizzying, honestly.

still, she wasn’t as quiet as she hoped, apparently, a voice latching on to echoing heels as a soft smile of her own reaches painted lips. “so long as you’ll forgive the intrusion, i see no reason not to oblige.” decadent, dark lace hugging her form, the songstress takes her place beside unexpected company, a flute of her own already in hand when she speaks, “.. the party a bit much for you as well?”

“it’s...fake,” they state simply. “just another thing for people to don masks and pretend they care about the future of this city.” sure, it was an extremely pessimistic outlook. they understood that but what exactly were they meant to do in this situation were they meant to pretend that they actually cared too? not about the city, but about the people who ran the city. “is it too much to ask for them to just... stop? to just be honest for one second?”

it was a headache. it was something that jay didn’t want to think about nor actually deal with. yet here they were. sitting on the pavement, while the rain slowly and gently cascades. it was something they loved seeing. something that was beautiful. their gaze drifts to the girl. “and yourself? any particular reason you’re not enjoying this rather extravagant event?”

darlingeireneroma‌:

Eirene had had just about enough of social behavior for one when she made her way outside to cool down and breath in some fresh air, at one point her dress and its unfamiliar silk fabric had started feeling too tight and she thought she would sufficate. She breathed in slowly and then exhaled, feeling a strong scent of alcohol before hearing a voice address her. She turned to the direction the voice came from and then nodded with a smile”Oh, allright, sure” She said and had a seat by the owner of the voice, not sure what she was joining in on, but it seemed far better then what waited for her inside.

“My parents used to drag me to these galas all of the time. Made an entire game out of it.” Smiling they look into their lap. “People watching.” Looking over their shoulder to the interior of the building they smile. Pointing a finger at a tall figure with frizzy long hair pulled into a half bun Jay grins. “They are a very empathetic person, they breed show dogs, and they moved to Crystalline because they can communicate with their show dogs. They wanted somewhere safe to be.” Setting the bottle down Jay sighs. “They also spilled their drink on me about an hour or two into the party. It was an accident... I think...”

mccnhcseck‌:

It was embarrassing how exhausting these kind of events could be, but as Hoseok was someone who usually needed a nap after a single hour of forcing himself to be ‘social’, it really was no surprise that it hadn’t taken long for him to feel like he was going insane. All the noise was catching up on him; frankly just made him want to curl up in a ball on the floor and cover his ears. Maybe scream to make it STOP, even though he knows no sound would come out. 

He’s drained and feels like he’s suffocating when he finally gives in and stumbles out the door, instantly missing the safety of his hoodie that he usually would be pulling over his head in an attempt to hide himself from any questioning stares. The first breath he takes feels a lot fresher than he knows it really is – the air isn’t clean in a city like crystalline, but it’s a relief to feel the drizzle on his heated cheeks. It reminds him of nights where he’d sneak out of his window so he could sit on the roof of his parents’ house and feel the raindrops hitting his skin, the cold slowly numbing his body whilst he lost track of time and whether the water on his cheeks was the rain or his tears.

A voice startles him from his short moment of invincibility, his anxiety instantly returning tenfold and making him take a careful step back, almost tripping over his own feet in the process. His dark eyes slowly move up to look at the stranger, brows briefly furrowing behind his messy bangs. How long had they been out here? Did they see his dramatic exit? Oh god, he didn’t look drunk or anything did he?

“I– I won’t, mi-miss.” He chokes out, timidly shaking his head and nervously scratching at his hand. “I–” He wants to say he was just leaving, but he can’t exactly go anywhere without his foster parents. The idea of using the public transport at this hour is almost enough to make him hyperventilate. “I just– I don’t mean to- to bo-bother?” He eventually finishes awkwardly, though he’s already taken a small step forward, indicating he’s tempted to take them up on the offer.

“Jayla. Jay for short.” Running a hand through their hair they smile softly. “I.. haven’t been a miss for... It was my sweet sixteen.. so it would twelve years? ” Laughing they shake their head. “I understand the confusion, the lace dress... the hair and makeup. You can’t tell by just looking at someone.” They remember their dad comparing the things they might go through with everything that was happening with the supers. That difference was a good thing. They felt... ashamed looking back at it. The anger they felt to the people with abilities. It was something they could only learn from, and hope to never repeat. They wondered if they were making their father proud now. It... It had been some time since they visited and perhaps they should. Tell him how things were changing. Things were better now, and he deserved to know... even if he wouldn’t actually know.

“Not a bother at all.” They offer a smile as they look at him. “It’s the noise, right? All of the smiling..” Shaking their head they look at the bottle. “It feels like you can’t breathe.” Holding the bottle out they smile. “My advice is to drink, but space it out throughout the entire party.” Looking through the glass they sigh. “You learn more about people when they don’t know you’re there... So stick to the edges of the party. Make yourself look busy, and people won’t bother you.” 

With a small sigh, they look at the sky. “This is all just a facade Crystallites like to wear.” Their eyes search the stars, their free arm instinctively wrapping around themselves. “It’s a game to them. Something to fill their dull lives with. A splash of fun, and a dash of sensitivity. Showing up for a mayors speech when it’s wide-spread knowledge he supports the mutants.” Tearing their gaze from the sky they finally look back at the boy.

“They don’t actually care. But if they play their cards right this is a great publicity stunt. They’ll be viewed as some of the Crystallites who have opened their eyes to the injustice that the mutants have been experiencing for years.” Clenching their fist they look away. “It’s all just... a test to them. To see if Mayor Scott can shake the foundations of their beliefs. I’m sure they’ll shatter if he does.” 

immortclss‌:

luciana sat on the steps of the library, her food in her lap as she sat there skimming through the news on her phone.  it was a nice day, much too early to be high, and she still had things to do, so her gloves remained on, in case of any unfortunate mishaps.  her attention was drawn by whoever had casted the shadow over where she was sitting, turning her head towards them, eyebrow raised.  “we don’t get sun often… i was enjoying it.”

it wasn’t often that jay found themselves gravitating to the library. most of the time they would simply order their books online and wait for them to arrive. they assumed that this course of action was simply due to the events that had recently happened, and the desire to not be alone at the current moment in time. “y’know relaxing on the steps isn’t the best place.” looking over their shoulder they look around briefly. “i know a place. a hiking trail with a nice clearing. the best place to go if you want to be left alone to enjoy the sun.” 

hngcr‌:

          the job never got any easier.   he’d been apart of the league for a while now,  and yet with every passing event,  every situation the team had been thrown into,  after all the years,  it never got easier.   not for him,  at least.   with all the training and the practice the defeat of villains came with ease,   but knowing you might not have saved everyone in the process was ALWAYS the hardest part.   to know that he could’ve saved so many more lives at that damn party was what had been eating him alive since the moment the building started to collapse.   it was his job to save people,  why hadn’t he tried harder ?   then the thought that his daughter was there had crossed his mind.   something could’ve happened to her,  and he would never be able to live with himself.   it was one of the many reasons he forbid her to join the league.   clearly she didn’t care enough to listen.   the media was ablaze after the event,  with comments ranging anywhere between mourning the loss of the mayor,  debating why even have a team of superheroes if they couldn’t even stop this event from happening,  and promoting anti - mutant propaganda.   and as much as it INFURIATED him to see,  he couldn’t tear his eyes from the tv screen.   that’s probably why he didn’t notice the person near him who’d been trying to get his attention for god knows how long.    ❝   shit.   sorry,  i didn’t even notice you there.   ❞

“not the first time, certainly won’t be the last.” they offer a small smile and shake their head lifting their to the screen and they look down. “it almost doesn’t seem real...” laughing slightly their brows scrunch. jay had been hoping that former mayor scott could have done anything to fix crystalline. “it’s bullshit. when people without abilities were going around destroying property and hurting innocent people they never...” looking away they rest a hand on their face. “it’s bullshit.” resting a hand they sit down with a quiet sigh. “my dad used to say that because they were different it was hard to remember they were still like us. that the reason people hated them was that they didn’t understand them.” looking down they shake their head once more. “he had a funny way of making you think about everything...” blinking they laugh and look at the other. “sorry i... i don’t know i guess i started talking and i couldn’t stop?” rubbing the back of their neck they exhale softly. “i didn’t come over here to talk your ear off i just needed to know if you had a cellphone with you? i left mine at the shop, or else i wouldn’t be bothering you.” lifting a hand they shake their head. “and i definitely need to call a cab. considering everything that’s happening... i’m not entirely sure it’s safe to be walking home.” 

📖+ superhero!jay

they would have been better off without having these abilities manifest. how the hell would they even be considered useful? manipulating the threads in the fabrics around them... sure it helped make seamless designs. but where was the practicality in it other than distractions.. where was the practicality other than a sidekick. a supporting character that wouldn’t be able to change anything. there was no way to protect the legacy and take up the mantle their parents so desperately wanted them to do.

there was no measuring up to the likes of great vine, and subspace. they would never catch the publics eyes the same way angel and silver knight could. they would always be amoung the forgotten. the lesser heroes, the support. they would be the ones the powerless would root for, because their struggles would show anyone could be heroes... and maybe that was better than jay could imagine. who else had the abiltiy coursing through jay’s veins? who else could disable enemies with their own costumes?

and after thinking such things jay would feel content... for a time.

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ofsvpers :

The liquid burns as it rushes down her throat, as Molly sets the shot glass down, with a sigh. “Another round, please.” She calls, waving the bartender over. Her words slurred quite a bit, and she had to admit, she was a little tipsy.

The raven haired woman quickly turns to the person next to her, in an attempt to make conversation. “I cannot believe,” she begins, “that there are some people who believe that those monsters are harmless. One of those things, killed the mayor. They’re like bugs, honestly, and they need to be killed, all of them.”

OPEN TO: ALL

It was times like today that Jay simply wanted everything to fade away. Where they wished they had some secret ability that could take them far away. This city was meant to be a beacon for those with abilities. Yet time and time again the tarnished anything good they had done in the past. Resting their head in their hands Jayla’s gaze wanders the bar. How many of these drunk souls would try to make history repeat itself?

Shaking their head their gaze idly settles on the glass in front of them. “That is your solution?” Letting a half-laugh out they look away. “I get it. I do. They ruin lives, ignore that they’re destroying the city while they fight amongst each other. But that...” Sighing they spare a glance in her direction. Is that what they sounded like in their adolescent years? Did they sound like her when the emotions rushed over them and they barely had the time to filter their thoughts? “That thought process doesn’t help anyone. Do you know how many times someone thought that in history? The masses don’t cheer for the people who think like that.”

cuspx‌:

it was a long night. that much– they could agree on. and if it weren’t for her internship, she would definitely have stayed away from the event at all costs. too many people. too much noise. too much fuss about nothing. because that’s the way she saw it. nevertheless, she stuck her job. smile and wave, and hand out the gift bags. do that. she did. hand out keys, hand out coats, hand out greetings and goodbyes. and she did that; having been ignored for most of the night. no one ever says goodbye to the door girl. she’s no face of haggis–she’d never be pretty enough for that. ha. she’s just an intern hiding behind the round spectacles, and watching as a person escape from the party. curious, the girl took her steps, making sure to grab a gift bag from her little booth. she sighed, dreading the communication at all. but she was invited to join in on something?? it shouldn’t have started her– the fact that someone was outside having a party of their own, but her eyes grew wide at the sight of the bottle– but to each their own, right?? who is she to judge?  ‘O-oh. No, thank you.’  she pointed to her name tag to indicate that the show must go on– show being the job she was given. ‘This is for you. I hope you enjoyed your stay if you’re intending on leaving.’ that isn’t to say she’s rushing them out, that’s not at all in her tone, right? 

“Haggis tech... building a better future for tomorrow.” They had considered it when they were younger. To be apart of the ever-changing technology Crystalline City would see. But something stopped them... something within them told them it wasn’t what they were meant to do. As if that was an actual thing. “How long until it’s official?” They inquire looking at the name tag. “Y’Know employment, I mean I didn’t see Harriet rushing around and filling glasses...” Resting their head in one of their hands they sigh. “Sorry I just... I didn’t...” Scrunching their nose they look at the girl. “It’s been a long day... watching them all pretend this is normal. Pretend that nothing bad has ever happened in this city. It feels like Mayor Scott is the only one to pay attention sometimes. To acknowledge the ugliness of Crystalline... and that is... Exhausting.”

“Thanks for coming out here, but I’m not leaving yet. The mayor still has to make his speech. I hear it’s... going to be... eye-opening.” Pushing themselves off of the wall they waver slightly before shaking their head. “We should get back inside before someone notices that we’ve disappeared. Wouldn’t want to get you in any trouble.” Rubbing their hands together they look down at the bottle, before looking back up at the girl. Slowly walking toward her, they gesture to the door. “So... what’s your story? Why Haggis Tech? Why not go anywhere else? I mean I hear that Hazelbrooke, for example, has about three more tech buildings then we do. Sure, it’s in England, but who doesn’t want to travel to various abroad places?” It was the best they could do. They’d always found small-talk... awkward. “I uh... considered going myself. A fresh start and all.”