Bennett, Kaveh, and let's have Faruzan (and technically Alhaitham?) adopt Wriothesley :-) (Wriothesely: Madam, he is younger than me. Faruzan (i can't believe I almost typed Herta): yes that's part of his charm. Alhaitham: *reads a book determinedly*)

Adopt/adopt/adopt (Genshin)

The game is like "fuck/marry/kill", "isekai as/befriend/archenemy", etc.

You have to pick which Genshin character(*) gets adopted by (1) Cloud Retainer, (2) Arlecchino, and (3) a ship of your choice(**).

(* at any time in their lives where it makes a significant difference, e.g. post-Vision Hu Tao, post-fight Kaeya or Diluc, pre or post Tatarasuna Kabukimono, etc.)

(** fanon non-dysfunctional picks include Kavetham, Cynonari, a Lisa OT4, Beiguang. But if you want Chilumi Arlefuri Neuvichi Wriowinne yeah sure you do you)

@narcoticwriter @awake-my-oceans @emanation-aura @chrysoula @paragon-arthur hi! ty for putting this idea in my head. Eula Nahida Ruu

Moriarty the Patriot meta:

The Man: James Bonde, Agency and Gender Euphoria

[yuukoku no moriarty spoilers for anime/manga scandal in Bohemia arc] [also this got so long wow who would have thought i had so many thoughts about my best boy]

[he/him pronouns for yuumori Bonde/Adler, she/her pronouns for Holmes-canon Adler]

Everything about the James Bonde reveal is so perfect to me. It’s Holmes-canon that Irene feels comfortable cross-dressing so that would be a fun slightly unhinged direction to take even though it could go so wrong and I was so braced for it to be a Bad Take.

I was so ready to have my heart broken but you beat the odds you stunning son of a gun

But then. Irene/Bonde becomes a perfect transmasculine fantasy, Irene is The Woman and Bond(e), who he becomes instantly and nearly seamlessly, is most definitely The Man, always the embodiment of super cis hetero masculinity, reincarnated forever to fit whatever that means for the times. (We like hairy womanizers because it’s the 70s so that’s who Bond is. We like Conflicted Dark Thoughtful Protagonists because it’s the 00s so that’s who Bond is. Etc.) And now. And NOW. Bond is again THE MAN, perfect masculine sex symbol, evolved from The Woman, a character who was actually a gender symbol to Holmes, and then became a more conventionally-understood sex(ualized) symbol only by repeated reinterpretation, meaning, yknow, lazily written misogynistic takes on Adler.

(I am forever yelling about how No One Understands A Scandal in Bohemia so, quick explanation of what I mean by that:) Adler’s whole (Holmes-canon) deal was taking back agency over her love life and sexual decisions from men who by default didn’t believe she deserved that autonomy. And then basically every adaptation of A Scandal in Bohemia has gone and done that to her metatextually by making her a manipulative criminal mastermind and/or some kind of super famous courtesan and/or serial blackmailer, explaining her behavior the maximally sexy way rather than honoring the (imho) more interesting original motivation to just move on from an old relationship but not believing she’d be allowed to do so without drastic measures. And also her non-criminal background is so much more interesting as a foil for Sherlock Holmes in that she’s not trained over a lifetime to be that foil, she is a regular fairly clever person who just happens to be overlooked by his prejudice, a lesson he explicitly tries to take to heart, making her “The Woman,” his personal model of all womanhood, remembering her as a worthy adversary.

And this version gets the same sexist setup, except that Adler made it up. Sherlock gets to learn the same lesson but Adler is involved in something totally different, and the whole Scandal in Bohemia story was a fabrication — Adler doesn’t just finally get agency back, Adler basically gets authorship of the canon story. (The government secrets situation, the actual tension in this version, is obviously out of Adler’s control but also kind of out of everyone’s hands.) And I think it’s important that Adler plays this role of a woman, The Woman, perfectly, to set up what comes later. I am reminded of a Daniel Lavery essay about the transmasculine impulse to defend one’s prior femininity — “a desire to maintain that one didn’t transition out of necessity but desire: being a woman is hard but I was good at it, I think is the underlying anxiety, nobody fired me, I quit.” The perfection of Irene Adler’s presentation as a woman neatly prevents the idea that transition might be an action taken with a kind of resignation (“I failed to be a woman”) rather than agency and positive desire (“I am and wanted to be a man”), relating nicely to agency and personal choice as a major theme from Holmes-canon Adler.

So then Moriarty the Patriot takes James Bond, The Man, a sex symbol but always in control of his sexuality because his masculinity grants him that privilege, and bestows that identity on a character whose sexuality has always been textually and metatextually out of that character’s hands. And he’s perfect at it, immediately, his transition is instantaneous (and with later argument only from Moran the stock Straight Guy Who Doesn’t Quite Get It, and his status as a man is not even defended so much as stated: it’s a basic, obvious fact confirmed by William as the voice of leadership and Louis as the voice of pragmatism). The transition scene obviously brought to mind another moment that looms large in my personal transmasc mythos, the Disney Mulan fantasy of cutting off your hair and that magically Makes a Man Out of You, except Mulan spends the movie kind of being visibly bad at Man Things and earns her power when she returns to her gender like masculinity was the unknown land on the hero’s journey, and Bonde’s hair cut scene equally set my brain on fire but with the payoff of actually being instant magical transition.

Look at him!!!!! That’s the man!!!!!!!!

I don’t know how other people feel about the name situation (certainly at least a little unusual to not choose one’s own) but I personally love the idea that Bonde is granted a shared first name, a brotherhood, and gets to choose his last name and discard the patronymic, breaking with patriarchal tradition but fitting into a new kind of family that has some of its own customs which he gets to be a part of. (This also fits the queer life pattern of learning about queer identity and culture by horizontal/peer association (brotherhood) rather than vertical/family association (fatherhood). Or more simply, hey look Found Family Trope.)

And this interpretation feels so joyous to me. Amidst all the crime drama we get a relatively positive and bright and uncomplicated character who is taking visible joy in his new identity, strutting around town being The Man, late to important mission meetings because he wants to try out a new car, flirting and winking all the time because now he gets to be in charge of that kind of interaction, inventing new drinks that sound pretty terrible, being playfully over-familiar with everyone he meets. I love that some of this borrows from who he was as Adler, and some of it manages to re-cast the sort of icky James Bond tradition of reveling in masculine power into simple fresh gender euphoria — arguably the performance of Bond’s hypermasculine persona was always a certain kind of gender euphoria, but too often at women’s expense, and now it’s not, because this Bonde is explicitly a little protective of women’s boundaries, taking the bar fight opportunity to get someone out of an uncomfortable situation, and being only reservedly flirtatious with Moneypenny (again we use Moran for Slightly Confused Straight Guy contrast here).

And this choice of Bonde’s origin also feels so generous to me, a gift for my little gay heart. “James Bond is yours now, transmascs,” says Moriarty the Patriot, “it’s your time to be The Man.” I just. Love this series so much. It’s always the opposite of queer baiting. It’s a subtle invitation to a queer feast, with a family who would happily and immediately call you brother if that’s what you ask.

Jerks and their love stories

I am a die-hard member of the Let Jerks Be Jerks club. By which I mean, if I am charmed by a character who is nasty, or cruel, or a jerk, or sadistic, or an asshole... I don't want to read fanfic where that trait has been replaced by them being kind of generically sweet and in love. (Many people do, and this is fine... for some definition of fine.) This is not to say I don't want to read/write stories of them in love. I love those kinds of stories! Especially if they become better people as a result of that love. But that's an internal thing, not an external thing. Somebody can become a better person, but still basically act like a jerk, or be amused by minor bouts of sadism, or a number of other attractive antagonistic traits. And that's what I want to see! Wanderer, acting like a jerk while trying hard to be a better person under the surface! Blade, realizing he really doesn't want to snap and kill this kid! Severin being nihilistic and self-centered but trying to do it more constructively! Sebastian constantly needling, even when he feels affection! Arjuna being nasty and possessive even as he starts to feel genuine attachment! The thing i enjoy about the kind of fictional dangerous relationships that would be toxic IRL is that they're the beginning of an arc. The best part of a relationship is watching how it influences character growth. If everything starts out healthy and balanced, where do you go from there?

The Devil Six one-shot is possibly the most delightful experience I've ever had reading.

Ok, I skipped the Public School Arc (except the last chapter or so) because it's airing now so I'm into the Emerald Witch arc and my oh my, seeing Sebastian get genuinely pissed off at Ciel disappointing him is fantastic (ch 94-95).

I've seen people talk about this scene as a reminder of how evil Sebastian is and how he just doesn't care about Ciel at all, and that wasn't my takeaway. Earlier he suggested an equal 'shock' might rouse Ciel from his episode, and clearly he'd decided to put that into action because they'd run out of time. And yes, if Ciel hadn't woken up, he would have been eaten, but... what would have been eaten certainly wasn't the Ciel that Sebastian has come to enjoy playing with, so why not?

It's certainly been an ongoing theme of the series that humans can be much more wicked and evil than your average representative devil, and that includes Ciel himself. So it's hard for me to look at, "Welp, the game is ruined, let's clean up the pieces and go home," as a stand-out evil action as compared to, say, "Burn down a manor full of damaged children. And "Let's scare the young master into waking up again," seems to have been exactly what Ciel needed. As usual. Anyhow, caring about somebody doesn't always mean petting them and being sweet to them. Sometimes it means being angry at them when they disappoint you, and letting them feel what that means. I think this is particularly good when there's been an exchange of promises that one of them is on the verge of breaking!

Rereading/catching upon Black Butler after a long time. It strikes me that about half of the arcs (maybe more) feature Sebastian coming up with a plan that allows him to dress his Master up in a costume or disguise. Damn, their relationship is so deliciously twisted.

And you know, I can respect that, both as a choice of the author, and as an interesting character trait for Sebastian. Seeing that actually makes me appreciate him even more.

For me, he’s always been this enigmatic smiling hot guy—kind of the archetypal one (looking at you Diablo). Without any of his own kind to compare him against, he’s so much larger than life that it’s hard to get a sense of who he is other than “incredibly hot perfect butler who is also a demon that makes codependent mutual corruption the sexiest sin”

And I mean he is that and that’s a lot

But I can see a personality under the gags and smiles and seductions, and that’s pretty thrilling.

Ok, so, the Luxury Cruise arc is really marvelous for this, because of Sebastian's cinematic record combined with their conversation on the lifeboat; the absolute difference in their relationship--specifically in how Sebastian interacts with Ciel--is extremely noticeable. At the beginning of their relationship, Sebastian is 'killing time' before a delicious meal, and he treats Ciel like a toy. By the time zombies attack, it feels like Ciel has well and truly earned his respect and even affection. It may still be the respect and affection one has toward their recalcitrant 4-H project, but Ciel keeps his life interesting (as do the Phantomhive household) and he clearly values that.

A few side notes: 1.) at the end of the Murder arc, I wondered how often Sebastian has been the target of such love as the servants show him. If most of his previous contracts are short-term, I'd guess not often... 2.) I do wonder what other people have contracted with him for. Selling your soul for wealth and sex doesn't seem like a great plan if you die when you get your wish. Maybe one just tacks on 'at age 90 you get my soul'? I've also been thinking about long-term ramifications of the Bizarre Dolls in this story....

Rereading/catching upon Black Butler after a long time. It strikes me that about half of the arcs (maybe more) feature Sebastian coming up with a plan that allows him to dress his Master up in a costume or disguise. Damn, their relationship is so deliciously twisted.

And you know, I can respect that, both as a choice of the author, and as an interesting character trait for Sebastian. Seeing that actually makes me appreciate him even more.

For me, he’s always been this enigmatic smiling hot guy—kind of the archetypal one (looking at you Diablo). Without any of his own kind to compare him against, he’s so much larger than life that it’s hard to get a sense of who he is other than “incredibly hot perfect butler who is also a demon that makes codependent mutual corruption the sexiest sin”

And I mean he is that and that’s a lot

But I can see a personality under the gags and smiles and seductions, and that’s pretty thrilling.

waitaminute, I think unmasked Undertaker is hotter than Sebastian, isn't there a law against that?

Whoa whoa necrotic flesh and coconut milk???

(first | previous | #untitled shenhe game)

> head to a grocery store

Enough procrastinating. You are strong of heart. You will obtain your Noodles (and/or Flour), no matter how distressing the crowds.

You head towards Chihu Rock, where there are grocery stores with more sensible prices.

The smell of gailan and overpriced flour fades as you leave the fancy grocery store behind. (The smell of necrotic flesh and coconut milk does not fade. This is likely a sign that there is some carcass stuck to your spear.)

As you proceed, you encounter an obstacle. A wheel has fallen off a cart in the middle of the road. The crowd has slowed to a crawl around it, and some people are shouting angrily at the cart's owner. It is very difficult to get past.

(NOTE: "Go around" implies a detour. The other options are, of course, literal.)

I get that hit around 9pm, but otherwise same.

My greatest tragedy is that I literally always want a nap, right up until ten pm, when I feel utterly alive and electrified.

Rereading/catching upon Black Butler after a long time. It strikes me that about half of the arcs (maybe more) feature Sebastian coming up with a plan that allows him to dress his Master up in a costume or disguise. Damn, their relationship is so deliciously twisted.

And you know, I can respect that, both as a choice of the author, and as an interesting character trait for Sebastian. Seeing that actually makes me appreciate him even more.

For me, he’s always been this enigmatic smiling hot guy—kind of the archetypal one (looking at you Diablo). Without any of his own kind to compare him against, he’s so much larger than life that it’s hard to get a sense of who he is other than “incredibly hot perfect butler who is also a demon that makes codependent mutual corruption the sexiest sin”

And I mean he is that and that’s a lot

But I can see a personality under the gags and smiles and seductions, and that’s pretty thrilling.

Shenhe, forget Master. How will Yun Jin feel about you stealing flour for the dinner you’re making her, just because you don’t want to stand in line?

(first | previous | #untitled shenhe game)

Your name is Shenhe. You are a normal human being.

It is late afternoon. Today's date is unimportant. In two and a half hours your friend Yun Jin will be coming over for dinner.

To make your “signature” noodle soup you must still acquire Mushrooms and Noodles. You have hunted what you can. Now you must go to a store and exchange money for goods.

Perhaps you were procrastinating on this part. You do not like crowds, after all.

> return to Liyue Harbour

You hear the city before you see it, with the clamour of voices and the clatter of footsteps on cobblestone and the clanking of tools.

Arriving at the public park to the north of the city, you make your way down to the pond at Feiyun Slope.

You glance at the steps outside Bubu Pharmacy. The child from earlier is gone.

There is a spectacled man on the steps. He wears loose flowy robes over a comfortable shirt. He is staring at one step in particular, upon which is a pool of dried pigeon blood.

He is frowning and massaging his temples. In your opinion, he seems dissatisfied.

The snake coiled around his neck whispers something into his ear. He turns his head and, spotting you, beckons you over.

“Miss Shenhe,” he calls out. “May I have a word?”

Will this be an “I’m So fucking proud” moment, Shenhe? Think about it… Did Master teach you to take shortcuts?

(first | previous | #untitled shenhe game)

Your name is Shenhe. You are a normal human being.

It is late afternoon. Today's date is unimportant. In two and a half hours your friend Yun Jin will be coming over for dinner.

To make your “signature” noodle soup you must still acquire Mushrooms and Noodles. You have hunted what you can. Now you must go to a store and exchange money for goods.

Perhaps you were procrastinating on this part. You do not like crowds, after all.

> return to Liyue Harbour

You hear the city before you see it, with the clamour of voices and the clatter of footsteps on cobblestone and the clanking of tools.

Arriving at the public park to the north of the city, you make your way down to the pond at Feiyun Slope.

You glance at the steps outside Bubu Pharmacy. The child from earlier is gone.

There is a spectacled man on the steps. He wears loose flowy robes over a comfortable shirt. He is staring at one step in particular, upon which is a pool of dried pigeon blood.

He is frowning and massaging his temples. In your opinion, he seems dissatisfied.

The snake coiled around his neck whispers something into his ear. He turns his head and, spotting you, beckons you over.

“Miss Shenhe,” he calls out. “May I have a word?”

ok this one needs to be spread far and wide

(first | previous | #untitled shenhe game)

Your name is Shenhe. You are a normal human being.

It is late afternoon. Today's date is unimportant. In two and a half hours your friend Yun Jin will be coming over for dinner.

To make your “signature” noodle soup you must still acquire Mushrooms and Noodles. You have hunted what you can. Now you must go to a store and exchange money for goods.

Perhaps you were procrastinating on this part. You do not like crowds, after all.

> return to Liyue Harbour

You hear the city before you see it, with the clamour of voices and the clatter of footsteps on cobblestone and the clanking of tools.

Arriving at the public park to the north of the city, you make your way down to the pond at Feiyun Slope.

You glance at the steps outside Bubu Pharmacy. The child from earlier is gone.

There is a spectacled man on the steps. He wears loose flowy robes over a comfortable shirt. He is staring at one step in particular, upon which is a pool of dried pigeon blood.

He is frowning and massaging his temples. In your opinion, he seems dissatisfied.

The snake coiled around his neck whispers something into his ear. He turns his head and, spotting you, beckons you over.

“Miss Shenhe,” he calls out. “May I have a word?”

Please join me in voting for communication.

(first | previous | #untitled shenhe game)

Your name is Shenhe. You are a normal human being.

It is late afternoon. Today's date is unimportant. In two and a half hours your friend Yun Jin will be coming over for dinner.

To make your “signature” noodle soup you must still acquire Mushrooms and Noodles. You have hunted what you can. Now you must go to a store and exchange money for goods.

Perhaps you were procrastinating on this part. You do not like crowds, after all.

> return to Liyue Harbour

You hear the city before you see it, with the clamour of voices and the clatter of footsteps on cobblestone and the clanking of tools.

Arriving at the public park to the north of the city, you make your way down to the pond at Feiyun Slope.

You glance at the steps outside Bubu Pharmacy. The child from earlier is gone.

There is a spectacled man on the steps. He wears loose flowy robes over a comfortable shirt. He is staring at one step in particular, upon which is a pool of dried pigeon blood.

He is frowning and massaging his temples. In your opinion, he seems dissatisfied.

The snake coiled around his neck whispers something into his ear. He turns his head and, spotting you, beckons you over.

“Miss Shenhe,” he calls out. “May I have a word?”

(first | previous | #untitled shenhe game)

You blink sympathetically. It is unclear whether the woman in green notices.

She sniffles again. An infection?

You check her forehead temperature. She is not feverish.

> ask whether she is sniffling because of allergies or because of crying

“You sound congested,” you say. “Do you perhaps have allergies? Are you crying?”

“I... I'm not crying right now,” she says.

A clever evasion. But you will not be fooled.

“Were you crying earlier?” you ask.

The woman buries her face in her arms and nods. “Yes,” she mumbles. “I was. I've been having a really awful day and I got sad. Is that so bad? Even adventurers in books get sad sometimes.”

Ah. It seems she feels ashamed for crying.

“It is not bad,” you reassure her. Thinking back to the lessons Master taught you in your youth, you continue: “There is no shame in having strong emotions. It is only our response to such emotions that ought be judged.”

The woman nods slowly. “I guess...”

“Did your strong emotions cause the maiming of innocents?” you ask.

“What!? No...”

“Did they cause you to disrupt a master artisan deep in thought?”

“Uh...” She blinks. “I don't think so...?”

“Then do not feel bad for crying,” you say.

She parts her lips as if to say something, but no sound escapes them. Instead, tears well up in her eyes.

A minute later, she begins to sob freely.

After a while, the woman looks up at you.

“I'm sorry,” she says. “I'm just complaining and complaining and... What about you? Are you okay? How are you?”

(first | previous | #untitled shenhe game)

You blink sympathetically. It is unclear whether the woman in green notices.

She sniffles again. An infection?

You check her forehead temperature. She is not feverish.

> ask whether she is sniffling because of allergies or because of crying

“You sound congested,” you say. “Do you perhaps have allergies? Are you crying?”

“I... I'm not crying right now,” she says.

A clever evasion. But you will not be fooled.

“Were you crying earlier?” you ask.

The woman buries her face in her arms and nods. “Yes,” she mumbles. “I was. I've been having a really awful day and I got sad. Is that so bad? Even adventurers in books get sad sometimes.”

Ah. It seems she feels ashamed for crying.

“It is not bad,” you reassure her. Thinking back to the lessons Master taught you in your youth, you continue: “There is no shame in having strong emotions. It is only our response to such emotions that ought be judged.”

The woman nods slowly. “I guess...”

“Did your strong emotions cause the maiming of innocents?” you ask.

“What!? No...”

“Did they cause you to disrupt a master artisan deep in thought?”

“Uh...” She blinks. “I don't think so...?”

“Then do not feel bad for crying,” you say.

She parts her lips as if to say something, but no sound escapes them. Instead, tears well up in her eyes.

A minute later, she begins to sob freely.

After a while, the woman looks up at you.

“I'm sorry,” she says. “I'm just complaining and complaining and... What about you? Are you okay? How are you?”

(first | previous | #untitled shenhe game)

You blink sympathetically. It is unclear whether the woman in green notices.

She sniffles again. An infection?

You check her forehead temperature. She is not feverish.

> ask whether she is sniffling because of allergies or because of crying

“You sound congested,” you say. “Do you perhaps have allergies? Are you crying?”

“I... I'm not crying right now,” she says.

A clever evasion. But you will not be fooled.

“Were you crying earlier?” you ask.

The woman buries her face in her arms and nods. “Yes,” she mumbles. “I was. I've been having a really awful day and I got sad. Is that so bad? Even adventurers in books get sad sometimes.”

Ah. It seems she feels ashamed for crying.

“It is not bad,” you reassure her. Thinking back to the lessons Master taught you in your youth, you continue: “There is no shame in having strong emotions. It is only our response to such emotions that ought be judged.”

The woman nods slowly. “I guess...”

“Did your strong emotions cause the maiming of innocents?” you ask.

“What!? No...”

“Did they cause you to disrupt a master artisan deep in thought?”

“Uh...” She blinks. “I don't think so...?”

“Then do not feel bad for crying,” you say.

She parts her lips as if to say something, but no sound escapes them. Instead, tears well up in her eyes.

A minute later, she begins to sob freely.

After a while, the woman looks up at you.

“I'm sorry,” she says. “I'm just complaining and complaining and... What about you? Are you okay? How are you?”