cesarski-dwor
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W odległym Cesarstwie na krańcu świata działy się dziwne niewytłumaczalne schlane rzeczy
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every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt
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Coincidence? x)
Fun Fact : The most successful pirate captain was actually a Chinese prost*tute. She had 80,000 sailors working for her.
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me nd my pirate girlfriend
[holdin hands]
me: bb ur hands r so cold
her: that me hook
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Miron (empire's manor OC) x Killian (OUAT)
Love milian so much
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1. Miron [OC]
2. Emperor’s (Bartholomeo) wife (Alice)
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TarantinoQuest
The peaceful land of Hollywoodia has been taken over by the dastardly director! He has used the Sundance Crystal to shatter himself into 5 different fragments, each a different aspect of his personality. You must fight each of them and then claim their part of the Sundance Crystal. Only then can you combine it to put an end to his tyranny!
Play as four different classes:
Director: The Warrior Class. They use a rigged camera for long range attacks and have a giant clapboard that they can manipulate to block projectile attacks. Can spec into Filmer, making their Cameragun incredibly effective at range while limiting their mobility, or the Producer, with powerful crowd control effects to take care of adds.
Stunter: the Tank class. Melee range, but plenty of defensive options. They have high mobility skills too, making them good at intercepting attacks. Can spec into either the Body Double class which improves their tanking prowess, allowing them to take hits that would kill weaker classes like they’re nothing, or the Daredevil, becoming less tank focused but dealing way more damage.
Visual Effects: The Mage class. Weak attacks, but has incredible offensive and support abilities. Armed with a laptop, they can conjure visual effects into the real world with deadly results. Spec into the Animator class to gain powerful summons that will fight on your behalf, or become a SFX Guru to create auras that will power up allies and yourself!
Actor: The wildcard. Has limitless potential but starts out fairly weak. Can be a jack of all trades or can be a master of one. Their uniqueness comes from their ability to wield props that are in the maps, which have various effects. In an actors hands, fake weapons become real, hard hitting ones. Improvised weapons are weaker but have cool effects - grabbing a lamp will give your attacks a wider arc, and possibly light the target on fire.
Fight One: Mr. Tarantino and Buscemi in a Suit
This is a double battle. Tarantino is relatively weak here, fighting using only fists. The real threat is Buscemi. While Buscemi lives, Tarantino cannot die. This makes Mr. Tarantino more of an annoyance than an actual boss. Buscemi in a Suit is weak to fire attacks but is a high level Actor, and the arena is filled with props. It’s recommended to have a high level Actor yourself to take away some of his power by snatching the props for yourself, or grab a Producer with a Re-Take, who can forcibly disarm Buscemi. Stunters can try and pull aggro on Tarantino so DPS can focus on Buscemi, but its not recommended.
Fight Two: Foot Fighter Tarantino
This can be a dangerous fight due to his extreme range - Foot Fighter Tarantino has a massive zoom lens, and this arena is a long one. The first part of the fight involves dodging his scoped attacks - a Daredevil works great here. Reach him, then burst him down while he’s stunned. Then, he leaps to the other side and begins taking potshots again. Take note that the Plastic Leg has a unique ability in this fight - hitting him with it increases the duration that he is stunned for. This is invaluable if you haven’t yet unlocked Daredevil, as you will only need 2 or 3 rotations to down him rather than the 4 or 5 a regular fight would take.
Fight Three: Coke Tarantino
Take note of the crates around the (small) arena - each contains a dozen cans of coke, and if he gets his hand on any, he will be powered up immensely. He is guaranteed to grab one crate at the start of the fight, so hold off on using your powerful openers until he throws a can away. He will slowly lose power until he picks up another can. The best option is to just destroy the crates, but he will focus fire anyone who attacks the crates, even through taunts. Have the Body Double attack it first, then DPS it down. This also has the benefit of keeping him from seeking the other crates to drink. On Expert Mode, a fully charged Coke Blast immediately after he powers up is a near guaranteed party wipe.
Fight Four: Samurai Tarantino
It goes without saying that Samurai Tarantino is a blazing fast boss. His sword has powerful critical hit multipliers, and keeping him at range is ineffective due to his ridiculous mobility.
The trick to making this fight easy are the statues around the room. Tarantino has multiple slashing abilities in this fight, and with a daredevil or actor using the Comedic Apple-on-Head hat, or even an Animator who can conjure up a clone, you can trick him into swinging at one. There are Four statues, two along both the north and south walls relative to the entrance. Having him break one sends him into a rage, increasing his attack rate. If he hits two, his attacks become more wild, leaving more openings for attack. They still hurt, mind. At 3 and 4 he will eventually break into an ultimate rage where his attacks are uninterruptible by any means. However, he will also no longer defend against incoming attacks, meaning if you can dodge them it is much easier to DPS him down.
Final Fight: Overlord Tarantino
Overlord Tarantino cannot be fought until four pieces of the Sundance Crystal are obtained (i.e until you beat the first four bosses). Once you have four pieces, his castle will open its gate to you and you will be faced with the final stage.
The First phase, Tarantino in the Clown Seat!, has him laugh manically as enemies pour out of the clown’s mouth. This is a simple survival round, he will keep throwing enemies at you until he runs out. Shooting at him is ineffective as a magical barrier covers his face. Just focus fire on the adds, which at this stage should be trivial to fight.
The Second phase, Tarantino Commands the Fight!, has him lift off into the air and wield the The Room Camera, a powerful double shot camera that fires both freezing and igniting rounds. He is vulnerable whenever he is firing, so spread your party out or have a VFX come in to summon clones. More adds will stream out of the Clown Mouth while this is going on. If you can get a Daredevil up to the balcony, you can have them Leap and attack Tarantino up close. Though dangerous, landing a melee hit on him in this phase is a guaranteed critical hit. Try using a weapon with an On-Crit effect, like the Royale With Cheese’s Cheeseblast On Crit, to take advantage of this.
The Third phase, The Great and Whimsical Tarantino Kills You Once And For All!, has 8 massive robotic limbs rise from the clown face, spreading out across the room. At first you are confined to a mere eighth of the room, although any class with mobility can leap over one of the limbs. Each must be damaged and then the attachment to the Clown severed. Once you slay two limbs, they will begin to flail but Tarantinos shield will go down. The limbs to either side of you are still dangerous, so either take them out or play incredibly safe. Otherwise, DPS Tarantino down as normal. Each limb destroyed in the original matter does cause a piece of funny dialog and reduce his health slightly, but otherwise is negligible. Killing all 8 grants an achievement, though, so for the completionists its recommended fighting this guy twice.
Once you slay his third phase, a short cutscene will occur, and depending on your progress thoughout the game, you may fight the final Extra boss, Quentin-EX. Fighting Him is a mystery, one that will not be spoiled in this walkthrough.
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So, your queer history lesson for the day:
Everyone’s heard that pirate’s call each other “matey”. What you probably haven’t heard is that the word matey comes from “matelote”.
In the Caribbean this word was used between buccaneers to signify a life partner. Matelotes could inherit from each other, shared space, fought together, could speak for each other when one was incapacitated or absent, and more often than not the relationship was romantic and sexual.
That’s right folks. Pirates had a term for their gay life partners.
In light of this, I present to you a new alternative for significant other and partner. Bring back matelote.
(You can learn more about the practice of matelotage in: The Origins and Role of Same-Sex Relations in Human Societies by James Niell)
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SPECIAL CARDS EDITION <3 MUUUA
Empire’s cards-Martha Queen of hearts
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