Is Sobriety "Boring"?

So, here is something I've been struggling with lately, as I am only on my second day clean this time around. One of my biggest fears is that sobriety will be "boring". Like a life without drugs will be boring. That a "normal" life will be boring. Things like jobs and bills scare me to death. The idea of only going to work, coming home, repeat, repeat, repeat is scary. Unfortunately I tend to gravitate to the chaois that using has created. The lifestyle becomes an addiction- waking up each day not knowing how or what I'm going to have to do to get the drugs my body so badly needs. I crave the chaois, the havic that I create each and every day. Sounds crazy, right? I truly hope people pick up on this blog because I would like to hear other people's opinions on the matter. I know there is a better life out there than this hell I have created, because I have had clean time and I've experienced it before, but this time around feels different. It gets harder and harder to come off of these runs I go on. It's almost like I've accepted the fact that I am destined to be a junkie, for the rest of my life, because that is the easy way out. I know I am not alone in feeling this, and I would really like to hear from other addicts.

I would really like to hear other people's experiences on the matter. I know there is a better life out there without drugs, I've experienced it before myself- but it all just seems so clouded now. I would really love to hear other people's experiences! I have heard this is a common fear among us addicts before we get clean, and we need to help eachother!

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step

Addiction, Relapse, & the Journey to Recovery

So I am new to this. My name is Chelsea. I am a 27 year old struggling addict. I had heard about Tumblr from my mother actually. I have been documenting my journey and my struggle with drug addiction on Facebook, which did not bother me much since I've been very open about my struggles with heroin and crack cocaine addiction the past ten years of my life. I am not ashamed to tell my story about my ups and downs on this long journey, and I figure if I can inspire at least one other struggling addict to do better or be better, than putting my buisness out there was worth it. I am truly hoping that this blog can and will spark a conversation amongst any and all struggling addicts to share their stories. Again, I am new to this Tumblr thing, but I truly am hoping that somehow this takes off! There is still a stigma attatched to being an addict, but we CANNOT deny that we are in the midst of the biggest heroin epidemic that this nation has ever seen. We cannot stay silent any longer. We cannot be ashamed any longer! There is no SHAME in admitting that we are struggling every goddamn day to navigate this shit called life as addicts, and with this blog I am hoping I can create a place where people feel safe and comfortable sharing their stories, which could in turn inspire so many others to do the same!

A little current background about me-

Currently, I am fighting for my life. A little over a week ago I came back from my first ugly dose of reality that heroin is definitely not what it used to be- and I too fell victim to an overdose, and thankfully, there was someone around to save my life. I have lost so many people, and I can bet that every single person out there knows or knows of at least one other person who is either actively using, or has died. This is serious shit people. As I write this, I only have two days clean. Not too much time to be writing a blog huh? But I've had clean time, multiple times, but always end up falling victim to relapse. But, my story is REAL, and that is why I wanted to start this blog. Addicts don't need to hear councilors or doctors tell them shit they've heard in school and whatnot- we need to hear from other people who have LIVED it. This is why NA works so well (and that is a blog for another day).

I plan to keep going with this blog, but I wanted to get this out there and start investigating this Tumblr thing. It would mean the world to me if this took off somehow, or even if it inspired one other person out there to tell their story, to get the help they need, to talk about the help they need, ANYTHING!

More to come!

#addiction #relapse #recovery #heroin #opiates #drugs #wedorecover #narcoticsanonymous #smack #dope