Headcanon

When Harry introduced Draco to the internet, Draco ended up with the third largest Instagram and second largest Snapchat accounts in the country. Most of his posts are pictures of Harry cooking (Draco takes them without him knowing).

Social Media AUs →Drarry Instagram AU [2/?]

harry potter instagram au part i

marauders + lily social media AU

Social media!AU + Drarry: Twitter edition.

That seems better then sex if you ask me.

hp reread x: some of these are embarrassing

this has been said before, multiple times, by people who are a lot funnier than me, but I think it’s worth noting for posterity: Dudley’s shitty little mates all call him “Big D”. hmm. HMMMMM. 

Harry’s reaction to Sirius telling him not to do anything rash is PURE GOLD. he’s literally like “um?? this guy went to prison for a decade, broke out, tried to murder someone, nicked a hippogriff and went on the lam and HE is telling ME noT TO dO AnYTHinG RAsH???” it’s a bit like when he told Harry not to use Hedwig because she’s too conspicuous after sending him letters by fucking toucan. Sirius “do as I say not as I do” Black or what? 

according to Sirius, all the pureblood families are interrelated. THE POSSIBILITIES HERE ARE ENDLESS. it’s no secret that Sirius and Draco being related is my favourite thing in the world, and I know recently there’s been an uptick in people who write Luna and Draco as related, which is very cute, but I’m not sure they’re really CASHING IN ON THE COMEDY. for instance, picture this: ERNIE AND DRACO, COUSINS. what if their hair is the same shade of blond? maybe they share a nose. they definitely both have a tendency for theatrics. please imagine two chubby, pink toddlers with blond hair. they are both wearing posh nappies with their initials embroidered on them. one of them is giving the other a Chinese burn. I am so happy. 

I love the aside about how they all sit and try to open Slytherin’s locket while they’re cleaning out Grimmauld Place. can you fucking imagine if it’d opened? all of them hanging around in trackies with rubber gloves on up to the elbows, armed with dusters and polish and fucking Voldemort comes bursting out of a necklace to shout at Hermione and tell her she’s gonna fail all her exams.

I’m not convinced Hermione has parents. I think she leapt fully-formed from sea foam like Venus. when was the last time she went home? has she seen her parents for longer than two days at a time since she went to Hogwarts? why are the Grangers so fucking lenient? their daughter spends ¾ of her time at boarding school in another country and then comes home for a weekend and goes, “soz mum, I’m going to stay in a grungy house in London owned by a convicted murderer. slater!” and doesn’t come home for a fucking year. what the hell, Grangers? you’re dentists! I don’t expect this sort of behaviour from dentists! 

omg when Harry bumps into Lucius Malfoy at the Ministry, Lucius says, “Well well well… Patronus Potter.” I think we can safely say that Draco inherited his incredible sense of humour from his dad. phew. that was a fucking humdinger. Patronus Potter. oh god, Lucius, stop. you’re killing me. there’s literally no excuse for this greeting slash insult slash abysmal attempt at “comedy”. he must have panicked and blurted out the first thing that came into his head. no wonder Draco is such a fucking clod. 

Harry has a minor crisis when Mrs Weasley puts him on the spot about Bill’s hair. she’s blathering on about how out of hand it is and how GOOD LOOKING Bill is and how it’d look SO MUCH BETTER shorter and then she goes WOULDN’T IT, HARRY? and Harry’s like “oh — I dunno —” and, I quote, “a bit alarmed.” the best thing is if you read it in the right tone of voice it’s like that arsehole friend who compliments the person you fancy right in front of you and then goes DON’T YOU THINK SO??? and does that insane smirk/eyebrow wiggle combo and you’re left like y—yeah? yeah h h ?  you loo k fi ne ?? which is essentially what harry does here. essentially. it is absolutely what happens. 

okay, so, regarding the whole “Notorious Mass Murderer OR Innocent Singing Sensation?” thing: what if Sirius really IS Stubby Boardman, lead singer of The Hobgoblins? I’m serious. out of every single person in the Harry Potter universe, who seems the man most likely to create an alias and start a fucking rock band? yeah. Doris Purkiss doesn’t seem so batty now, does she? 

I feel like MANNERS, POTTER, OR I’LL HAVE TO GIVE YOU DETENTION deserves a bullet point all of its own, because really? really, Draco Malfoy? this sounds like a fucking PORN OPENING. you are a HOT, GAY MESS. any money he walked out of the compartment, closed the door behind him and immediately had a I Can’t Believe I Said That meltdown and Goyle had to take him down the train to get a cup of builders’ tea. 

speaking of Draco Malfoy, Useless Idiot, I have chosen to believe that his emphasis on the word “dogging” was simply him putting feelers out. he’s new to the dogging scene and is testing the waters. you never know where you’ll find a fellow dogger, especially in the wizarding world. hop in a thestral-drawn carriage, park it in the forest, wait for the magic to happen.

while we’re on the subject: they’re all sitting at the Gryffindor table talking about how the hat wants them all to be mates, and Harry goes, “and it wants all the houses to be friends?” then IMMEDIATELY zeroes in on Draco at the Slytherin table. like. Haz. you are casual acquaintances with so many Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. you could have glanced at any of them — you do, in fact, have to LOOK PAST ALL OF THEM to see fucking Draco fucking Malfoy AT THE OTHER END OF THE HALL. YOU’RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF, HARRY! YOU’RE GIVING THE GAME AWAY!

I know that the “have a biscuit, Potter” scene is everyone’s favourite bit, but that must just be because everyone’s forgotten the second biscuit-related exchange: ‘“Have another biscuit,” she said irritably, thrusting the tin at him. “No thanks,” Harry said coldly. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she snapped. He took one.’ fucking Minerva all like “you’re turning down a biccy because you’ve got the monk on with me? what in god’s name is wrong with you?”

And harry also died OHH PERFECT. Too bad hedwig wasn't revived from the dead

gUYS I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING

crookshanks is wickedly intelligent and works smart and fights for what he believes in, from attacking peter pettigrew to helping sirius black out during poa

pigwidgeon is overly excitable, often mischievous/immature, but pure and good and loving at heart

hedwig is resourceful, loyal, understanding, compassionate, and dutiful, and is there fighting for her loved ones constantly, like pecking ron and hermione in ootp until they reply when harry is depressed 

the pets are basically their counterparts in the golden trio

MOOOOREEEEE 💖💖💖

anyone please ask your crush out like this

"Bitches are found everywhere in this world." Bitches are really scattered around my surroundings.. ;)

Mine :P

Listen to my Heartbeat (Happy Ending Side Story)

[~•~] "May daga May daga sa ilalim ng bahay~ May daga May daga sa ilalim ng bahay~ May daga May daga May daga May daga~ May daga sa ilalim ng baha--" "Pag di ka tumahimik malilintikan ka sakin!" hindi ko siya pinansin at nagpatuloy parin sa pagkanta. "May kuto  May kuto sa ulo ni kuya~ May kuto May kuto--" tinakpan niya ang bibig ko pero nagpatuloy parin ako.. "Ma huho Ma huho-- Ammphh~" "Oh would you shut up?! Tumahimik ka na Angela! Please lang!" napahilamos si kuya sa mukha niya, napangisi ako. "Sige na kasi kuya, ilibre mo na ako ng ice cream~! Jebal!!" nagpout ako at pinagdampi ko ang mga palad ko. "Aish! Oo na! Aigoo.. Magbibihis muna ako." "Jeongmal?! Yey! Thank you kuya~!!" lumabas na ako sa kwarto niya tsaka umupo sa sofa. "Lae Rin-ssi, tumatawag ang mommy mo." "Ah jinja? Give me the phone." binigay ni yaya Ibeth ang phone tsaka ko kinausap si mom. "Yeoboseo? Umma~ Bogoshipda~ When are you coming back~?" [Yeoboseo, Lae Rin, where's your oppa? I need to talk to him, there's something going on so I can't waste my time honey. Now hand the phone to Lay-ssi.] nagpout ako kahit alam kong di 'yun makikita ni mom Biglang bumaba si Kuya, tinignan niya ako ng nagtatanong kung sino ang kausap ko, nag mouth ako ng 'umma'. "Ah neh, arasso, I'll hand him the phone." inabot ko kay kuya Lay ang phone, kainis puro work pati si kuya dinadamay. "Yeoboseo umma?.... Ah jinja?.... Ah neh.. Arasso, ....jeongmal?!................... Ah gwenchana! ....... Ani,... ani....  ah gwenchana..... Neh, arasso umma... Mmm, Gomawo.. Neh.... Mmm." binaba na ni kuya ang phone. "Wae?! Ba't mo binaba? T.T I want to talk to umma~" pagmamaktol ko "Angela, she's busy." tinignan ako ni kuya in a warning tone. Nagpout nalang ako tsaka naglakad papuntang garage. "You owe me an ice cream." naka cross arms akong umupo sa front seat. "Arasso, Ah nga pala Angela, tomorrow I'll be going to states, may pinapahandle kasi sakin si mom." tinignan niya ako na para bang nanghihingi siya ng pirmiso, tumango nalang ako, I saw that coming.. [~•~] "Oppa, I want chocolate mint okay?" tumango lang siya at nag order na ng ice cream. Naghanap ako ng upuan pero puno lahat eh tas may nakita akong isang 4 seats na upuan tas isang lalake lang ang naka upo kaya nilapitan ko 'to. "Excuse me, may naka upo ba dito?" naka glasses ang lalake at akala mo kriminal, balot na balot eh -,- "Wala." maikli niyang sagot, medyo paos 'yung boses niya tas parang nahihirapan siyang magsalita. "Pwede maki upo?" hindi siya umimik eh sa silence means yes kaya umupo na ako. Nakita kong papalapit na si kuya kaya itinaas ko ang kamay ko, ibinaba niya ang tray na may tatlong large ice cream, puro chocolate mint. "Ba't di ka nag order ng para sayo kuya?" tanong ko, tatlo lang kasi binili niya eh kulang pa 'to sakin. "Ayokong mapaos, may practice pa kami ng banda mamaya." bigla namang napa ubo 'yung lalake sa harap, biglang kumunot ang noo ni kuya. "Luhan?" biglang umiling iling 'yung lalake tas dali daling tumayo at lumabas ng Ice Cream shop. "Luhan?" biglang tanong ko, kumunot ang noo ko. napailing siya. Biglang sumakit ang dibdib ko at parang tumigil saglit ang mundo ko.. Pangalan niya palang pero masakit na.. Itinuon ko sa ice cream ang atesyon ko pero... "Angela..." nilingon ko si kuya.. Bigla siyang napa yuko "I'm sorry, akala ko kasi siya eh, I thought he got back from States.." "You knew kung nasan si Luhan? Alam mo na nasa States siya? Oppa!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is just a side story of Happy Ending, ang title ng story na 'to ay 'Listen to my Heartbeat'.

Wattpad story: Happy Ending "Every story has its happy ending, but not all happy ending ends with 'and they happily ever after.'"

"A certain giant would always tell me that it's pointless to cry at the end of stories that don't end up the way we want because it would'nt change anything but I would always tell him what was wrong with wishing for a different outcome."

Baekhyun (1080)

"Are you serious?!"

- me when I knew that smrookie Jeno is the same age as me >.

Once Mine, Forever MINE. A KaiStal wattpad fanfic.