And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter, they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long.
“old habits die screaming” except its remus and every time he smokes he thinks of sirius and he wants to quit cause it’s killing him but it feels like he’s quitting the last piece of sirius that he has and death would feel better than having to live without him but sirius wanted him to live a long and fulfilling life
Physically I’m here but mentally I’m a boy in the 80s with a squeaky yet somehow masculine voice that’s at the beach wearing a red leather jacket and yelling “what is your problem?” at his blonde girlfriend