Time

“I have to let you go.” That was all he left me with. No explanation, no tearful goodbye kiss. Just a crumpled up note, with messy handwriting sprawled across it.

Was I expecting this to happen? Maybe just a bit. I noticed the change in his attitude whenever he was around me. Our nightly routine of late night pillow talk and cuddles turned into a nightly pattern of late night calls saying he wasn’t going to make it home that night. The constant let downs and broken promises slowly broke my heart, and my mind was brought into a state of realization. We weren’t the same anymore. In fact, I don’t even know if we could class ourselves as a couple at this point. We were just strangers, living together, tip toeing around the house to avoid having a conversation.

At first it stung a bit, my emotions were all over the place and my mind was running over the things that I could have possibly done to push him away. But as the days went on, I got use to the lonely and empty feeling in our home. Even when Calum was here, it felt like he wasn’t. When he laid beside me in the bed, his back was always faced to me and he never bothered to give me a goodnight kiss or tell me he loved me. It was like this all the time actually, the only time we talked being when he would tell me he was going out.

I wasn’t going to confront him about it, as I was thinking that he was just going through a phase and he needed some time to himself. I wanted him to come to me when he needed to, so I just suck to my own business, distracting myself with work. But as the nights dragged on, I slowly realized it was more than that.

Before all this happened, we were stronger than ever. Hell, we were even planning a trip to Bali for our 3 year anniversary. If you would have asked me 2 months ago if I thought Calum was ever going to leave me on my own, I would have said “no”. But now here I am. Sitting on the couch with the paper he left in my hands. I didn’t bother going into the room to check if all his stuff was gone, because I knew it was. What caused all this was all I wanted to know, but I wasn’t ready to open that door up yet, and I knew that he wouldn’t be either.

Time is what it would take to fix this all, and time is what I was hoping would mend Calum and I’s relationship.

Content.

That’s how I felt at the moment. Content with the world around me. Content with the fact that his arm was around me.

You see, Calum and I have a strange relationship. We only really ever talk when we’re lonely and in need of company. Well, that was mostly him, but still. I never paid mind to the fact that I wasn’t the only girl. Of course he would need to release steam while on tour, months and months of being on the road never helped anyone, but I was never jealous. Or, that’s what I always attempted to convince myself in the moments I was with him.

Thinking about this caused me to stir, waking Calum into a light state of consciousness. I watched his dark eyes as they fluttered open, my stomach jumping from all the emotions I was feeling in the moment. His puffy cheeks warped into a small smile, his arms pulling me in a little bit closer. As he pecked the top of my head, I knew that he would be leaving soon.

I slowly unravelled myself from his body, walking to the kitchen to grab some food. I could hear his footsteps travelling all around the room, attempting to find the missing articles of clothing tossed all round the small space. Once he found them, he walked down the stairs to say goodbye with a simple peck on my cheek, and a “see you later” mumbled as he turned around to find the door.

While he may have left, I was still content. I sat there with my coffee, thinking about Calum, thinking about us. What gave me hope was that fact that one day, just maybe, he’ll decide to love me the way that I crave to be loved by him. But until then, I’m just grateful for the attention he gives me in the spur of the moment. Do I love him? Most obviously, otherwise I wouldn’t be sat here watching for him to change his mind. But love waits, so that’s what I’m going to do for him.

Her.

I sat there, waiting for his reply to my question, but it never came. The anticipation was killing me slowly, and my energy was running low at this point.

Seconds later I hopped out of my seat, approaching his frozen figure slowly. “Calum please, just tell me what you want. I’m begging you.” He looked up at me, vulnerability flooding into his dark, mysterious eyes. “Y/n, I-I don’t… I don’t know anymore.”

Anger. Anger was running through my veins as I took a deep breath, inhaling the cold air entering the room from the open window. “You don’t know? You don’t fucking know?” I spat out incredulously, trying my hardest not to cry or run out of the apartment. The tension in the room was increasing and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take before breaking down into a hysteria of tears. I turned around and started walking to the door until I heard him call out to me. When I turned around to face him, I became annoyed by the fact that his eyes refused to meet mine. They were practically glued to the window, watching the rain pour outside.

“Fucking hell Calum, if you’re going to say something, just say it!” My voice rising with every word, only to fall and betray me at the end. I hated how weak I sounded. I hated how weak he could make me feel.

Calum turned his head towards me, tears running down his face as his eyes searched the room to find something to stare at, anything other than me. “I thought I wanted you and I thought we could go back to how we used to be. You used to make me so fucking happy y/n and I just wanted that again, but I can’t get her out of my head.” I felt my heart shatter at his statement, my mind consumed with the picture of them together. Them. How happy they looked. How happy she could make him and I couldn’t.

Her. Of course it was her, it would always be her.

I felt my tears roll down my cheeks, probably smearing my makeup and causing my mascara to run. I just wanted to run into his arms and tell him that we could have it all again, we could be that way if he really wanted to, but I knew I would never be okay with the fact that I was his second choice, no matter how hard I would try to convince myself of it.

“So you thought it was alright to use me, didn’t you? Because you knew I still had feelings for you?” The question barely made it out of my mouth, my mind racing over all the moments we shared together the past months.

“Y/n, I’m really sorry,” he sobbed. I knew that he meant it, but I wasn’t ready to forgive him. It was going to take a lot of time and healing until I would even consider accepting his apology. I looked to the ground, praying that my tears would stop falling, but it was no use.

“Well, um… I should go now.” I started walking away, but my mind and body betrayed me as I turned around to stare at him one last time. I always thought he would be the one for me. But now, I just felt stupid for believing that. Believing that he would even want me for that long.

He allowed his puffy eyes to meet mine as he studied my face, knowing this was the last time he would see me. “I’ll always love you Calum, never forget that.” And with that, I turned away and walked out the door, leaving him and our story behind forever.

Calum Hood Imagines Masterlist

Let Me Love You

Calum gets angry with you for no reason, so you go shopping to calm yourself down.  When at the mall, Calum comes to find you to apologize to you, but you won’t listen to him, so he creates a big scene.

I’m Your Idiot

Calum is mad at you and gives you the silent treatment. To make him forgive you, you use cheesy pickup lines, the classic yawning and putting your arm around the other, and other funny things. He still hasn’t answered so you leave him alone for a while and go to bed. But while you’re in bed he comes up and you guys make up.

You Aren’t Weak, You are Human

It’s finals time and you’re so stressed out for your exam and everyone is expecting something good from you.  With the stress of the exam, and the unintentional pressure from your family to do well, that you finally broke down. Calum then comes into the room and sees you crying and he rushes in to help calm you down.

The Stupidest Decision I Could Ever Make Would Be Leaving You

You and Calum have been pretty distanced, and when he comes home from work, he finds your engagement ring on the counter.  He starts to get incredibly nervous, thinking you left, but you just happened to take off your ring because you were taking a shower.

*only angel starts*

*after 53 seconds*

AP WORLD EXAM

Teacher: After the exam, do not talk about the exam whatsoever.

Me after the exam, logging on to every one of my social media accounts: y'AlL...

3 Study Methods You Should Use More Often

This was originally for an article writing assignment, but I thought “why not write something I can also post on my blog?” so here are three study methods that I haven’t seen a lot of in the studyblr community but are definitely worth mentioning.

The Leitner System

          Flash cards have remained one of the most popular ways to study. Some people use them to memorize vocabulary, remember answers to specific questions, or even associate dates with events. Although the use of flash cards is convenient, their effectiveness has been reduced due to most people’s habits of prioritizing each card equally and therefore spending too much time memorizing the information on them.

          The Leitner System, created by a German popularizer of science named Sebastian Leitner, is a more efficient method of studying that implements the concept of spaced repetition. All the cards start off in one pile. You would first scan through these cards, then test yourself. Each card you answer correctly goes to a second pile, while those you answer incorrectly should be revised then placed at the bottom of the pile. When you review the cards in the second pile and get them correct, they will be promoted to a third pile. An incorrect card will always get demoted to the first pile, even if they had previously been promoted to the last pile.

          The reason why this method is so effective is that you end up reviewing the first pile of cards more frequently—the cards you don’t know very well. Some people choose to review their Stack 1 cards every day, Stack 2 cards every other day, Stack 3 cards once every three days, and so on.

          Once all your cards have been promoted to the highest box, study them thoroughly and then start over. The continuous revision trains your speed so that you may reach fluency, which allows you to recall the information faster.

Timed Memorization

          The name tells it all: you memorize a certain text within a time limit, normally around five to ten minutes depending on your fluency and memorization abilities. When the timer starts, you begin memorizing. When time is up, you flip to the next page, even if you haven’t finished the previous page yet. Continue until you’ve gone through all your material.

          Timed memorization helps you to discipline yourself because your brain thinks that there’s no time for messing around; you have to do this here and now. Make sure to repeat the things you missed and revise everything frequently. This method is actually one of the most effective for cramming as it gives a better coverage than if you spend a whole half hour memorizing one subtopic.

The Memory Palace or Mind Palace

           Sound familiar? In BBC’s Sherlock, the ‘highly functioning sociopath’ uses this method to remember vital information and facts. A mind palace is a systematic arrangement of information, each detail corresponding to a specific object in a familiar place. To ensure that you really remember everything, the objects have to appear shocking and conspicuous.

           Here’s an example: if I wanted to memorize “crimson, 11, delight, petrichor (the smell after rain)”, aside from imagining Amy Pond or the Doctor saying it, I would first choose a place, let’s say my school. I’d imagine myself walking up to the front gate and seeing that the entire building has been painted the color of blood—crimson. The building would then rise as though it were lifted from the earth and crumble into rubble, controlled by Eleven, the character from Stranger Things. Now, since I can’t really picture delight specifically, I’d probably end up visualizing a colossal sign that simply reads “delight” posted in front of my school. As for petrichor, I’d imagine curves rising out of the puddles on the asphalt after a rainy night, a visual representation of the smell of the rain. Of course, these visualizations have been created to suit my memory. (I wouldn’t know if you watched Stranger Things.)

           I used this method when memorizing case studies for geography, although I chose to visualize fictional places from television series and cartoons. Some people do opt to create artificial places, but these often become blurry and are easily forgotten.

           As with any study method, repetition is vital to storing the information in your long-term memory. Visit your “palace” as often as you can. Soon enough, you’ll remember the data as well as you remember the place associated with the data.

So there you have it, three lesser known methods of studying that have proven to be immensely efficient. Now, there is no “correct” way to study, but there are methods that can ease your learning process.

Hey everyone! Over the years I’ve had my fair share of English and other writing intensive classes, and combined with my tendency to procrastinate I’ve had to come up with a way to write papers fast. 

step one: finding a topic and research (aka the hardest part)

You can’t write a paper without a good topic, a strong thesis, and solid research. There’s no getting around that, no matter how short you are on time. Depending on the class and the teacher, you may have your topic chosen for you or you may have total freedom. If your situation is the latter, an ideal topic is one the you care about, have some general knowledge of already, and is specific enough to be covered in the number of pages you’re limited to. After you have a topic picked, do some quick searches to see what’s out there. If your school’s library has a database, that’s the perfect place to start. Be sure to chose quality articles that have been peer reviewed when possible, and where it’s not acknowledge that the source may be an biased in your paper. 

Once you’ve started research, you should have a pretty good idea of what your angle is going to be and what points you want to make. Next write a working thesis. This is basically a sentence or two that states what you will spend the next few pages proving. Once you have it, write it on an index card and put it aside for the next step.

step two: outlining 

Take a look at your past papers. How many paragraphs are usually on a page? It’s about two for me, so I keep that in mind when planning my outline. Now for the part that lets me write so fast: index cards. 

Take one index card per paragraph you’ll need to fill your page limit, and write “into” on the back of the one with your thesis, and conclusion on the other. Now think about how to best prove your thesis, and anything else you saw in research that you want to address. 

On one side of the card goes the general topic of the paragraph (ie, “significance of symbolism”).

On the back goes all of the specific notes and details that will go in that paragraph (ie, “spring as a symbol of a fresh start for x character”)

Once you’ve done that for every paragraph lay them out in front of you and experiment with order. How do they flow naturally?

step three: writing

Now that you have your outline, all you have to do is expand on what’s on your cards. Paragraphs should be at least five sentences each, which is super easy to achieve since you already know what you’re going to say! Think of each paragraph as a mini paper: sentence one should be a topic sentence/intro, explaining what you’re going to cover. The middle/body defends and expands on your topic sentence, and the last sentence or two should conclude the paragraph and transition to the next. 

Once you have your body, you can work on your intro and conclusion. A general rule of thumb for intros is to start with a hook (something interesting that draws the reader in) and ends with your thesis. In the middle should be a sentence or so for each paragraph/point, just to give a little map of where you’re going. The conclusion is basically the same, except in reverse. Wrap it up and tell them what you just told them. 

After that, let it sit for a little while (ideally a day, but if you’re short on time just go to dinner) and then come back to edit with fresh eyes. Reading out loud will help you catch typos!

step four: citations and formatting

I like to cite as I go so I don’t have to do it all at once. I typically write my own, but if I’m in a pinch I’ll use a citation generator (like son of citation) that works super fast. Just be sure to cite everything that needs one! Plagiarism is so not cool. Double check MLA/APA/Chicago guidelines and make sure that everything is formatted right, and you’re good to hit submit!

Good luck on those papers, my fellow procrastinators!

Another surprise preference about a mystery member who’s last name rhymes with good. A/N: I had made a mini series after the Michael preference about him “Waking You Up.” Emptying my notes and found Cal’s that I meant to post but thought it would flop(LBR it will either way) sooo yeah. Here’s you go.

Shuffling around, you tried being careful that you didn’t knock over your sleeping boyfriend. You took a second and admired him in his slumbering state. His covered chest in a gray tank gently rising up and down, his stiff lips occasionally pouting out of habit. It took all of it in you to not mess up his hair which flew in every direction and grazed across his forehead. You couldn’t contain yourself any longer and started running your fingers along his biceps and across his chest. You moved your leg farther across his waist and pulled yourself to his center. Gliding both hands up his chest and moving your face closer his ear. “Cal…” You whisper and pecking his jaw. Thank god it was dark, so he couldn’t see how impossibly closer you had gotten to him without him knowing. His breathing became less steady and he crinkled his eyes. “Calum… Please wake up.” You nudged his arm with a little more force. He took a long inhale and tried to move into a different position but you had him trapped with your lower body and sighed, rubbing his eyes. You giggled and moved your upper half closer and kissed the corner of his plump lips. He groaned and pulled away. “Y/N… What are you doing?” He asked in his morning voice. “I can’t sleep.” You stated, sprawled across his body. “Yeah I can see that. Just relax.” “But I can’t. I’m wide awake.” You replied squirming around. He wrapped his arms tightly around you and turned you both so you were then on your side and he raised his leg so it was now wrapped around your waist now. “Problem solved.” His voice trailing off so you could hear he was beginning to fall asleep once again. “CALUM.” You muttered, your face squished against his chest, his grip was still pretty strong for someone who was asleep. “Hmmm…?” he groaned in response. There was no way to escape so you used the first mechanism you could think of which was tickling. You poked his hips and he immediately retreated from his hold on you. “Y/N! Come on.” You laughed and all of sudden he let go and was dragging himself out of bed. “I’m going to the bathroom.” You nodded with a sheepish smile, deciding to stop being such a pest but then changed your mind and had an idea. You discarded your flimsy shirt and slid off your fleece shorts, leaving you in your embracing undergarments and pulled the plush bright red comforter over your exposed body, facing the wall. Calum walked out the bathroom, sliding into bed. “Y/N, I haven’t gotten much sleep and was just feeling a little grumpy. You mad at me?” He pouted, gently tugging on your ear. “Can I climb in there with you?” He asked, raising the blanket and laying alongside you, wrapping his arms around you only to find him feeling your bare bum against his clothed center and his hands against your topless upper half. He furrows his eyebrows and props himself up on one elbow and slowly peels the blanket off of you. “Cal… It’s cold.” You moan, bringing the blanket back up. “Y/N?” “Go to sleep babe.” “I don’t know if I can anymore.” His managed to say with a newly woke part of his body. “Just relax.” You mocked his voice. “That’s not fair!” He whined.

I didnt know body wash could be so sexy and condescending

2016 sucked so bad, I haven’t once forgotten to put 2017 when writing out the date.

small piece of advice: really try to cultivate good study skills in high school because that shit won’t get any easier when you’re 24 and in grad school 

notes masterpost

Hi! OMG IM FINALLY DONE POSTING ALL MY NOTES HAHAH FINALLLYYYY!!!!

I understand it’s pretty hard to collate all my notes together, so I’ve made this masterpost!! :) + some abbreviation legend thing just in case you guys don’t understand the abbreviations i wrote hehe i hope you guys enjoyed these and that these notes helped!! thank you for sticking by me and my irregular posting schedules. Will continue to update this list when i post more notes in the future !!! xx

Biology Notes - based on Biology Matters for GCE ‘O’ Level (2nd Edition), by Marshall Cavendish

Chapter 2 - Cells

Chapter 3 - Movement of Substances

Chapter 4 - Nutrients

Chapter 5 - Enzymes

Chapter 6 - Nutrition in Humans

Chapter 7 - Nutrition in Plants

Chapter 8 - Transport in Humans

Chapter 9 - Transport in Plants

Chapter 10 - Respiration v1, v2

Chapter 11 - Excretion

Chapter 12 - Homeostasis

Chapter 13 - Nervous System

Chapter 14 - The Human Eye

Chapter 15 - Hormones

Chapter 16 - Cell Division v1, v2

Chapter 17 - Reproduction in Plants

Chapter 18 - Reproduction in Humans v1, v2 

Chapter 19 - Heredity

Chapter 20 - Molecular Genetics

Chapter 21 - Ecology

Chapter 22 - Our Impact on the Ecosystem

Chemistry Notes - based on Chemistry Matters for GCE ‘O’ Level (2nd Edition), by Marshall Cavendish

Chapter 1-7

Chapter 8-14

Chapter 15-20

Chapter 21-24