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bubblygumi · 2 months

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Maybe in another universe.

Hi! It’s been a while, but i am finally back with another post. Thank you so much for the love on my last post, it was greatly reassuring. As before, please excuse any errors as english is not my first language, thank you. Enjoy.

˚♡ sincerely, bubbly.

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

pairing : single father! Miguel O’hara

genre : angst, slight comfort.

CW : child loss, grief and guilt, parent loss. please proceed with caution if this sounds like something that would trigger you. take care of yourself.

Habits are hard to break, no matter what you do, they’ll be there itching to be done again and again. Miguel is a victim of it too, he’s far from perfect in anything. Not in being a hero, hell, not even in being a person, and certainly not in being a father.

If he really was perfect, Gabi would still be alive. It’s every parents nightmare to have your child slip away before yourself, Gabi was a bright and talented child, Miguel always took great pride in her.

But he failed, Miguel denied failure, he never failed. He grew up a golden child, always surpassing others in intelligence, popularity and looks, the only thing he had ever failed at was being a father, and it would haunt him till the end of his days.

He sees little glimpses of Gabi subconsciously, habits of being a father he never let go. He would always walk closest to the road, he even still has his own house baby proofed despite Gabi being long gone for years and years, he never let go.

Not even when Gabi turned six, when she was no longer a baby, he kept the house baby proofed, he couldn’t believe how big she was getting, he refused to acknowledge she wasn’t as little anymore.

But after her passing, all he could think about was how little she was, how she didn’t deserve this, how he failed. Would she have been happier born into another family? Having another dad? A mom who was there for her? Maybe in that universe, she would still have been alive and happy.

And as always, the golden child was correct, he found a universe where he had his family. His eyes lit up in anticipation, a small sense of hope returning in his dreadful eyes as he watched the universe on his monitor for days and days, like he was binge watching a series. He never took his eyes off of it once, soaking in all the details of their happy lives with envy, until that happy life was no more.

At least that was the ending for that universes Miguel O’hara, who got shot and died. Miguel didn’t mourn himself, he didn’t have the self-love for it, he didn’t pity himself, he got what he deserved, he should have died instead of her.

Instead, Miguel saw it as a golden opportunity and immediately moved in, discarding of any evidence of the Miguel he had overtook, taking his place in his life without remorse. All he wanted was his little girl back, he did what he had to do and was happy about it.

He felt a weird sense of accomplishment, every time he made Gabi smile again, every time she liked the food he cooked for her, every time she said she loved him back. He was finally happy, long forgotten that this wasn’t even his life.

But he would cruelly be reminded soon of the consequences of taking another man’s life. Little did he know the universe collapsed little by little because of his mistake, costing Gabi’s and everyone’s life once again, and the grief started all over again.

He failed.

#angst #angst no comfort #angst no happy ending #miguel atsv #atsv miguel #miguel spiderman #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #miguel 2099 #spiderman 2099 #across the spiderverse #tw: death

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bubblygumi · 3 months

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Her first words.

hi again! i’m back with a second post, and as before, please excuse any errors as english is not my first language, thank you. enjoy.

˚♡ sincerely, bubbly.

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

pairing : Father! Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x deceased Reader

genre : angst, slight comfort.

CW : S/O loss, parent loss, grief and guilt. please proceed with caution if this sounds like something that would trigger you.

little note from the author : Your daughters name is Riley Y/L/N.

Simon had always had problems sleeping, even before he had his little girl. He always had nightmares that plagued his mind. Of death, of his time in the military, of his past, the possibilities were endless with everything he had gone through. Getting up at night was never an issue, it’s not like he slept anyways, not with the terrors in his mind.

His eyes shot open as he heard a familiar cry echoing through their home, a silent sigh passing by his lips as i got up from his bed to check on the little one. He entered her room, the cries getting louder as he approached the fragile baby in the crib.

He picked her up into his arms, remembering the first time he held her when she was delivered. He was terrified, holding her with those same hands that had blood stained over them, he couldn’t taint her innocence like that and resorted to wearing gloves for the first few months of caring for her.

But not now, skin to skin with his crying daughter as he gently tried to coax her to calm down. Minutes went by, and then some more without any luck. He had tried everything he could think of, bouncing her gently up and down, caressing her, giving her small kisses, checking her diaper, he couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

Simon was almost at his breaking point, the lack of sleep and his daughter’s loud cries were overwhelming, why couldn’t he do this? Simon went back to blaming himself, he’s a terrible father.

Tears stung his eyes as he prepared a bottle for Riley, her sobs and wailing in the background as he mindlessly went over the same exact procedure. He couldn’t let the tears slip, approaching her and sighing out of relief went she finally calmed down, suckling on the bottle for the milk.

“That’s my girl.” He said, a loving calm tone he always used for his daughter. The gruff voice long gone, always as soon as he entered their home.

He chuckled bitterly when Riley grimaced, “Not into the formula too much eh?” He sighed once again, this time not of relief, “Mommy’s milk was better huh? I know, i miss her too.” Gone, taken away too quickly. Simon was left alone with Riley and Y/N never had a chance of being there with them.

Y/N had always wanted children, Simon remembers the good old days where she would show him baby videos and cute baby clothes to try and give him as much baby fever as she had. It had worked of course, Simon now had a daughter he adored more than anything.

But he couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt away as he watched his daughter drink from the bottle. How could he ever be enough for her? Without Y/N, what was he supposed to do? Did Riley hate him?

The tears that stung his eyes before finally let go, one or two running down his cheeks. He pulled the bottle away from his daughters lips, gently wiping away the remains of the milk on her chin before wiping his own tears away. His baby girl would always come first.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered to her, placing a kiss on top of her soft head, she looked so much like her mother. It was like she could feel his energy, frowning on her small face that usually was filled with smiles.

She reached out, her small hands grabbing onto anything she could of her Dada. And then she said it, something that immediately washed away all of Simon’s worries and guilt, her first words.

‘Dada!’

It echoed in Simon’s mind, replaying it as he looked at her in disbelief. He couldn’t believe it, did she really say that? Her very first words at 11 months old, soon to be 12.

A smile broke out on both of their faces, mirroring each other in a clearly loving gaze. “Dada? That’s right! That’s me!” Simon exclaimed, proudly, and almost a little too loudly but Riley just giggled.

He picked at up, placing another kiss on her soft cheek as he carried her back to her crib. He gently put her down, looking at her adoringly as she fell back to sleep.

The smile never faded from his lips as he went back to his own bed, and for the first time, he soundly fell asleep. No nightmares as usual where he would wake up in cold sweat, a well deserved, sound sleep where he dreamed of all three of them being together as a happy family.

Only for the dream to end in sorrow when he woke up, bed empty, missing the mother of his child.

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bubblygumi · 3 months

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his last words.

hi ! this is my first ever post. please excuse any errors as english is not my first language, thank you.

˚♡ sincerely, bubbly.

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

pairing : Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x John ‘Soap’ McTavish

genre : angst, no comfort.

CW : MW3 spoilers ahead!! Major character death, grief, slight descriptions of blood.

“I love you.” The three words Simon couldn’t shake from his head, they haunted him like a ghost, taunting him in remembering how Soap died in his arms without him even having the chance to say it back.

He was a coward. Soap was alive and well right before the mission, Simon had even went so far to let him into his arms when Soap spoke those three dreading words that would haunt Simon till the end of his days.

Simon didn’t say it back, he froze, he beat himself up mentally for never saying it, especially now that Soap was gone, out of reach.

He swore he would say it back, but he froze up once again as the pool of blood stained his uniform. It was Soap’s blood. Soap was dying right in his arms and there was nothing Ghost could do about it.

He wanted to scream, he wanted to shout and profess his love to the man in his arms, but he froze. Right as Simon opened his mouth to say the simple ‘i love you too.’ Soap was already gone, Soap died without ever knowing if Simon loved him back.

#john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #ghoap #call of duty modern warfare #angst #soap cod #soapghost #cod mw2 #cod modern warfare #mw2 #ghost mw2 #cod mwii #mw2 angst #tw: death #tw: blood #modern warfare 2 #cod mw3 #ghost x soap

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