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brrbrina · 3 months

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Show you - Mathew Barzal x Reader (4+1 fic)

A/N: its here!! barzy fic with a lot of romcom influence and a bunch of taylor swift lyrics references

Word count: 7.2 k

Warnings: mention of alcohol, mention of illness (nothing serious but just in case) and there's one scene where the reader throws up

Summary: after hearing something he shouldn't have Mat is set on proving he is serious about dating you

Masterlist

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“One date. Promise it will be worth your time.” he said followed by his signature half smirk, usual Barzal charm full of action.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“I’m serious, I wanna take you out on a date.”

“You don’t wanna date me, you wanna take me to your bed because I’m the only girl here that’s not dreaming of that.” You gestured to the rest of the bar, more precisely the girl standing nearby that wouldn’t take her eyes off him. “It’s kind of childish really, the more you can't have it the more you want it.”

“I don’t wanna take you to my bed.” Pause. “At least not at first.” He corrected himself followed by a wink, and if said wink caused butterflies in your stomach you were going to deny it till you died. “I wanna take you on a couple dates first.”

You deadpanned at him. He wasn’t being serious, he couldn’t be. It was Mat after all. That’s how your relationship was: he’d jokingly flirt with you, you’d turn him down. It was a game, your little playful dynamic. It was never real.

“I’m not joking.” he persisted. His tone made you doubt, it sounded like he was being genuine.

“What has gotten into you?” He looked away, there was something he wasn’t telling you and it made you equally curious and anxious not knowing. “Mathew spill it out. Right now.”

“It was an accident, okay? I swear I wasn’t eavesdropping or anything.” The way he was nervously defending himself beforehand only made you feel worse. Your heart started racing. No, there was no way he could’ve heard that- “Last friday at Beau’s, you were talking to Emma …”

Shit. He had heard it.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.” you said, looking away as your cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

“I know, I know. I swear it wasn’t on purpose, I was going to get a beer from the fridge and you two were talking in the kitchen.”

“Forget it.”

“You said you’d date me.”

“Mat, forget it.”

“You’d date me.” he repeated, as if he himself still couldn’t believe it.

“You’re missing the ‘if’. I said I would date you if you weren’t you.” You remembered it very clearly. The if that was just impossible to ignore because was essentially part of himself.

“I don’t get it.” You didn’t want to explain it, there was no point. Nothing good was gonna come out of it, nothing was gonna change.

“You’re a great guy Mat and I really like what we have, let’s just pretend I never said that and go back to normal.”

“I’m serious about this.” He wasn’t going to let it go, you knew him. But you weren’t going to simply accept, because you also knew the consequences that would inevitably follow.

To you it was no news you liked him, how could you not? Apart from his obvious good looks, he was funny and sweet and caring and many more amazing qualities that would make almost anyone like him. But you knew it could never go past that, past a silly little crush. Because apart from being all those good things Mathew Barzal was a manwhore and that was surely going to end up with you getting hurt. So you decided to ignore whatever it was you were starting to feel and to stick with the jokingly flirting, not allowing yourself to even entertain the idea of him being anything more than a friend.

“You don’t do dates.”

“I do with you.” You rolled your eyes. “Come on, you can't just rule me out like that, at least give me a chance.”

You looked at him for a second, really taking him in. It didn’t seem like he was lying or attempting one of his stunts to just take a girl home, you had seen a lot of them. Still you weren’t going to give in and he could tell the hesitation in your eyes.

“I’m not like you Mat. I don’t fool around. I’m 99.9% sure if I let the slightest thing happen between us I’m gonna end up hurt because I can’t keep things casual and casual is all you do.”

He looked taken aback by it, like he suddenly realized the reputation he had and how it could make anyone not take him seriously.

“I’m gonna prove it to you.” he suddenly said after a moment of silence. Now it was your turn to look at him in confusion. “I’m gonna show you I’m serious about this.”

Before you could analyze what he truly meant Tito arrived, putting an end to the topic.

The bar started getting more and more crowded by the minute and in said crowd, just like every other night you went out with these two, there were girls looking over at your table, looking over at them. You were already used to it, at some point Tito was going to complain about how awkward it was making him feel and how much he missed Emma, and Mat being the polar opposite would enjoy every second of the female attention until deciding which girl was going to be his catch of the night and go for it.

Tito did as expected, however Mat was still sitting by your side pretending not to notice them. You then understood it was part of his plan to show you he was being serious about wanting to date you, how serious would he look if he went and made out with another girl in front of you?

“This must be killing you.” you told him.

“What exactly?” Mat turned to look at you. He knew what you were talking about. Tito’s ‘here we go’ got lost under the noise, but his face said it all. Everyone, prepare yourself for another round of banter.

“Not being able to take any of these girls home.” you explained, even though there was no explanation needed. “That blonde one is basically throwing herself at you. You can always accept you weren’t serious about me and go with her. I won’t be offended, I swear.”

Part of you really enjoyed seeing him try to prove himself to you, being his center of attention. But you wouldn’t get your hopes up because he still was Mathew Barzal and there was a big chance, huge chance, he just wanted to get into your pants and once you put enough resistance he would simply give up and move on to the next girl who would hopefully (and probably) give in way easily. He’d probably forget about it and go back to his old ways next week.

“No thanks. The only girl I wanna take home is sitting next to me, but as I said that won’t happen before a couple dates. I’m a gentleman.” Tito chuckled, not the world he’d use to describe his friend.

“Such a gentleman.” you added, eyes squinting in annoyance accompanied by a fake smile. However his smile wasn’t fake, he was enjoying this a little too much.

“I’m getting another one. Want one?” You nodded and handed him your glass as he got up.

You watched as he made his way through the crowd to the bar, his broad shoulders pushing through the sea of bodies moving to the rhythm of the music. Faces turned when he walked by, some because they recognized him and others simply because of his looks.

“What’s that thing about proving he’s serious?” Tito brought you back to reality, your thoughts were still stuck on Mat’s shoulders.

“Apparently he wants to date me, but it’s Mat, we both know he’s incapable of anything remotely close to seriously dating someone.”

“So he finally confessed, eh?” Your brows furrowed at his comment. “Shit, he didn’t. Just forget I said anything.”

“Anthony!” you said a little too loud earning some weird looks from the people around you. “You can’t just say something like that and then tell me to forget it!”

“Ok, look I shouldn’t tell you this, but believe him. I know Barzy is Barzy, but when he says it’s you over any girl he’s not lying. Give him a chance to prove himself.”

That only made you more confused. Tito told you to give him a chance so was Mat being sincere? Did he really want to date you? No, that couldn’t be true. Tito wouldn’t just say something like that to help his friend, it couldn’t all be part of Mat’s scheme to get into your pants, could it? Were you seriously considering giving Mathew Barzal a chance? Your plan to not get your hopes up was already off to a rocky start.

Too lost trying to make sense of everything that had happened the past hour, you didn’t notice Mat was already back with one glass on each hand and a smirk on his face. You tried to shake off that weird dubious feeling that had settled in.

“One for the lady.” he said, placing the glass in your hands and then took his previous spot on the couch between you and Tito. “So, what did I miss?” He could help but notice your change in demeanor since he had left.

“Nothing.” Tito was quick to answer, but something did happen. A lot had happened.

Your head was killing you and the ringing of your apartment’s bell wasn’t making it any better. Guessing it was just a door-to-door salesman you ignored it, but a minute later there it was again. You got up, ready to tell off whoever it was that was bothering you, but before you could even talk Mat was already asking you to let him in. Extremely confused you did so, knowing there was no point in asking for an explanation over the intercom.

“W-what are you doing here?” you said opening the door only to be met by the man himself holding a grocery bag.

“You’re sick, right?” he asked and you nodded slowly, confused as to how he could know since you hadn’t told anyone.

“How did you-” The obvious answer came to mind before you even finished the question. “Emma.”

“Well not Emma exactly.” he explained as he walked into your apartment, heading to the kitchen. “Beau mentioned earlier at practice she was supposed to be hanging out with you today but you canceled cause you weren’t feeling good.”

He placed the grocery bag on your kitchen counter and started to look through the cabinets as you inspected what was inside the bag. A small smile appeared in your lips when you recognize the containers. You tried to hide it quickly when he turned around to face you but he caught it.

“So you bought soup and my favorite dessert and your plan is to what? Look after me?”

“Yeah.” he answered matter of factly. This was clearly part of his ploy to show you he was serious about you, since you assumed he didn’t show up to take care of just any girl when they were sick. “Now go get comfy and put on a movie or something. I’ll heat this up and help you with anything you need.”

You were too tired to even attempt to put any kind of resistance against his stuid plan. Plus it would be nice to feel taken care of, especially in the state that you were in. So with a simple shrug of your shoulders you left him in the kitchen and headed back to the couch.

The possibility of Mat burning down your apartment trying to heat up the soup was real, too real; but minutes had gone by and the fire alarm still hadn’t gone off. Before you knew it he was handing you a steamy soup bowl with a proud smile on his face, he was also worried about burning down the place.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Anything else I can do for you?” He seemed eager to help, to prove himself useful.

“Not that I can think of.”

His face fell. Yes, this was all to prove he was boyfriend material. Still he didn’t want to go, it felt wrong to leave you all alone when you weren’t feeling good, he wanted to be there for you. You could tell this, it was clear in his face, and truth be told you didn’t want him to leave, it was nice having him around, especially if he was willing to play your personal maid for the day. You could also tell he wasn’t going to ask to stay, he didn’t want to bother or be a burden. You’d have to ask him to stay, leaving your pride aside because at the same time you’d be helping him prove his point.

“Could you stay? You know in case I get worse and get a fever and stuff.”

“Yes, yes. Obviously.” He tried not to sound so excited about it. He failed.

At first he took a seat on the armchair beside the couch. He crossed his legs, then uncrossed them, leaned against the backrest, started bouncing one leg, leaned forward elbows resting on his thighs, leaned back again and started drumming his fingers on the armrests. Unable to find a comfortable position, he got up and started walking around the living room, just couldn’t stay still. You could hear him, feel him pacing up and down behind you, the creaking of the floor driving you insane.

“Mat?” He stopped, finally.

“Yes?” You signaled with your hand for him to come closer and he did. When he appeared again in front of you he looked worried, ready to call an ambulance.

“Can you please stop moving around? I swear all your pacing is making me feel sicker.”

“Yeah, sure.” He sat again on the armchair and finally the only thing that could be heard was the movie playing on the tv. It lasted less than a minute.

“I’m sorry. I never really took care of someone sick, except for my sister that one time but she was 10 and my mother told me what to do over the phone so it doesn't count. I don’t exactly know what to do. Do you want water? Another blanket? Tea? More soup?”

Maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t all just part of his plan to prove you wrong. Maybe he genuinely cared. And maybe (definitely) your heart warmed at his concern.

“Come here.” You patted the spot next to you on the couch.

He sat but his eyes were stuck on the tv. He was being weird, weirder than usual. You took his hand, making him face you. He still looked uneasy, not the chill Mat you were used to.

“You’re doing a great job, okay? I’m already feeling better.” He relaxed a little. ”Now please just calm down and enjoy the movie. I chose one with cartoons so you could understand it.”

“So funny.” His words dripped sarcasm, the Mat you knew was back.

As the movie went on it was getting harder and harder to fight the sleep; to keep your eyes from closing, your head from falling. At one point you gave into it, closed your eyes and let your head rest on Mat’s shoulder. And if you cuddled closer into him, that happened unconsciously when you were already asleep.

Mat got tense at first. Ever since this started, this being him knowing he had the slightest chance with you, everything that once was normal between the two of you had a whole new meaning for him, made him feel and think and react in a whole new way. This wasn’t the first time you had fallen asleep on him. Okay, yes, the previous times were because you were too bored or too drunk at some party and needed somewhere to rest your head; you were in the middle of the club or someone’s place surrounded by people. Now it was different, you could’ve laid against the armrest but you laid against him, and you were alone in your place. It felt intimate. It made him feel anxious or maybe nervous, he wasn’t sure what he felt, but it was the good kind of feeling.

You weren’t sure how you ended up this drunk. Well, you actually did but you weren’t going to admit it even to yourself yet. Tito helped you into the uber, or maybe it was Mat? You also weren’t sure about that.

At some point you got to your place. You were changing into your pajamas when you heard a noise in the kitchen. Slowly you made your way there and almost had a heart attack when you spotted a man’s figure roaming your fridge. Almost, until you noticed it was Mat.

“Dude you scared me.” He turned around confused. “I forgot I wasn’t alone.”

“You’re that drunk?” You flipped him off. “See I was getting you a glass of cold water, but if you’re gonna treat me like that I don’t think you deserve it.”

Your mouth watered at the thought of water. You were indeed that drunk. He laughed at the look in your eyes when he mentioned water and handed you the glass, which you took no time in gulping down.

“Slow down or you're gonna-” he started to say but the look in your face told him it was too late.

“Shit.” you said and rushed to the bathroom, hand on your mouth trying to at least delay the inevitable till you reached your toilet.

Mission accomplished, you made it in time but that didn’t make what followed any nicer. In no time Mat was behind you, holding your hair with one hand and caressing your back gently with the other. It just wouldn’t stop, when you felt it was over and there couldn’t possibly be anything left in your stomach to be pushed out, there it was again.

“Still wanna date this puking mess?” you were able to joke in that rare moment your body decided to give you a break between pukes.

“I wanna date this puking mess so much you have no idea.” he said and sounded so genuine you could’ve smiled had it not been the feeling of more disgusting liquid coming up your throat.

Eventually the throwing up stopped, thankfully, and Mat helped you up from your bathroom floor. He kept his arm around you as he guided you to your room, not that you needed it but you weren’t going to complain.

You let yourself fall into the mattress the second you reached your bed, too tired (and still drunk) to care about sleeping over the comforter or the position you were in. Mat’s soft chuckled could be heard behind you, making your insides tingle at the sound. It was hot, you could admit that.

“Why did you drink that much?” he asked as he helped you get in a more sleeping-appropriate position. It was more of a rhetorical question but your drunk brain didn’t catch that. Apparently your drunk brain also felt like being honest and sharing a truth you hadn’t even shared with yourself yet.

“That bitch wouldn’t stop checking you out.” Mat looked down at you surprised. “Sorry she wasn’t a bitch, that’s not very feminist from me.”

“You got drunk because a girl was looking at me?”

“Not exactly like that.” Your train of thought wasn’t the brightest back at the party and now wasn’t much better. You were sure what you were about to explain wasn’t going to make any sense, but again your drunk brain didn’t care. “She wouldn’t stop looking at you and then she was playing beer pong and I really wanted to beat her because she was looking at you.”

“But you suck at beer pong.”

“I know. She kicked my ass.”

He laughed. It wasn’t the cocky laugh you expected after admitting you had gotten jealous over him; it was a sweet laugh. Actually what was sweet wasn’t the laugh itself but the way he was looking at you, his eyes were full of adoration. You should’ve felt embarrassed after just confessing that, but you weren’t because it was Mat. Not old stupid-fratty-dude Mat, it was this new lovely caring Mat. You could almost feel your hopes getting up but the second and the alcohol in your blood wasn’t helping.

His laughter died when he felt the way you were looking at him so intensely, intrigued by what was going on in your head. “Penny for your thoughts.”

When he spoke your eyes went to his lips and so did your thoughts.

“You have really kissable lips.” Any type of filter you had was gone because of the alcohol. “They look soft and big. I once thought you had fillers. Still kinda do honestly.”

There it was again, that laugh, that smile that made your insides burn. “You’re gonna regret saying all of this in the morning.”

“Kiss me.” The words left your lips before your head even processed them, not that it would’ve made a big difference if you had.

“What?”

“I really want you to kiss me Mat.” Your hand went up to cup his face, to draw him closer, but he didn’t move.

“And I really, really want to kiss you. Believe me I do. But it’s not gonna be like this.”

You pouted, earning a chuckle and roll of eyes from him. It took every bit of self control he had not to kiss that pout out of your lips.

“I’m gonna kiss you one day, you just wait.” Now you were rolling your eyes, cocky Mat was coming back, but just like Mat in general this was a new cocky, a cocky you could tolerate and actually liked. “When I finally kiss you it won’t be because you’re drunk and needy-”

“Hey!” You punched him in the chest, trying your hardest to seem offended. The smile on your face didn’t help you sell the part.

“When I finally kiss you you’ll want me to kiss you, there’s gonna be no doubt in your mind how serious I’m about you, how real my feelings are.”

He left you speechless. If only he knew your barrier was breaking down and you were second away from reaching that point, from falling completely head first blindly for him.

You held his gaze until you couldn’t anymore, still drunk and exhausted your body gave in and your eyes closed.

Mat thought you had passed out, if not he would have said it. “You’re the one for me, I know it. I’ll prove it to you.”

You heard him. Then you felt his lips gently kissing your forehead and lastly his steps walking away.

Mat was losing his mind, which wasn’t ideal since the game was going to start any minute. He couldn’t get the image out of his head, you sitting next to that other guy, laughing at something he said. The brain was a tricky thing because the moment he could stop thinking about it his eyes would wander to that specific sector where he knew you were sitting and it was hell all over again.

The first period ended and they were tied on 0, so even if his head wasn’t in the game it wasn’t that bad. The problem was when by the end of the second period they were down by 2, one being a puck lost by Mat because he couldn’t stop looking over where you were and the second a power play goal made on a stupid penalty he took when frustration took over.

The second intermission came and by the way Anders was glaring at him as they made their way off the ice he knew what was about to come. He took a seat next to him, which wasn’t his usual seat, and laid it on him the second Lambert was done giving indications.

“Get your shit together man. What has gotten into you?”

“Nothing. Bad day.” Anders looked at him, not believing a single word. Then he looked over at Tito sitting on Mat’s other side waiting for an explanation.

“She came with another guy to the game.” There was no need to clarify who the she was.

“Look Mat, the girl you like brought another guy to your game, it sucks, believe me I get it. But the worst thing you can do is play like shit in front of them, ok? You’re the most competitive guy I know, go there and play the game of your life, show off, make her regret it.” Mat nodded. That was exactly what he needed, to use this as fuel to play better, as motivation.

Before they left the locker room and headed back to the ice he sent you a text. It was a simple ‘meet me outside the lockers after’. He wasn’t just going to leave it like that. Yes he was the one trying to prove something and pushing for a date, but after what had happened the last couple weeks it felt like things had changed, things were heading in the right direction. This didn’t make sense, it felt like a betrayal no matter how dramatic it sounded, and he felt like he was owed an explanation.

Anders' words indeed worked because he was a completely different player that last period, even came close to scoring a natural hatty had it not been for the final bell. With his two goals and one by Pelly they completed the comeback and won the game.

You watched the clock run out of time, begging for it to go slower. Mat’s text confused you, you had no clue what it was about but it couldn’t be good. You decided it would be better to head over there and get whatever it was going on over with before the game ended and thousands of fans started to flood the hallways trying to get out. So after saying goodbye to Pete, sending him off with some lame excuse about having to catch Emma before she left, you made your way to the locker room.

You had been there before maybe once or twice, normally choosing to wait for your friends outside the arena. It felt weird, even out of place, to be there surrounded by girlfriends and wives of the players when you were neither. Thankfully the girls hadn’t arrived yet, it was just you, some stuff and guards.

Mat had apparently given your name to security because you were allowed in the private zone without any problem and just in time to see them walk down the hallway, big smiles and victorious screams after such a great comeback.

The ones that noticed you said a simple hi or gave you a friendly nod. Mat was the last to get off the ice since he had been named first star of the game and his whole attitude changed the second he saw you there waiting for him. Bad signal.

“Congratulations-” you started to say when he approached you but were cut off by his hand grabbing yours and gently drawing you some steps away from the locker room entrance. You thought he’d shower and change before you talked about whatever it was he so urgently needed to talk about, but it seemed it couldn’t wait.

He had his helmet on one hand and stick on the other. Skates still on so now he towered even more over you. It was weird to have him standing in front of you in his uniform.

“Do you like me?” he let out, cutting straight to the chase.

“W-what?” You were taken aback by it.

“Do you like me? It’s a yes or no question.” It was not that simple, even if you had known he’d ask that it would’ve taken you some time to come up with the right answer. Hell, even you didn’t know the answer to that yet. Yes, you liked him but was that the type of like he was referring to? Was it like as in friends? As in more than friends? As in friends that could potentially be more than friends eventually?

“Mat what’s going on?” You avoided his question again, hoping he’d give you an explanation and you could move on from it.

“Ok, I’m gonna assume you like me because I like you. I like you a lot. So much that I’ve been trying to prove to you how much I like you and how serious I am about this. It would be a huge fucking pity if after everything you don’t even like me.” He could feel himself getting more heated up by the second, adrenaline still running in his veins from the game.

“I don’t get where this is going.”

“If you like me, why are you going on a date with another guy? Why are you bringing him to my game? What kind of sick game is this?” Once you realized what he was talking about you had to fight back your laugh.

“This is about Pete?”

“So he’s called Pete.”

“Pete my friend. My coworker. My married coworker may I add.”

“Oh.” was all he was able to say. He stared at you in slack-jaw, processing everything.

Mat had done some pretty stupid things in his life but this had to be on the top 10. He should've known it was not what it looked like, he knew you and knew you wouldn’t do something like that.

“Yeah ‘oh’.” you replied with a smile on your face. The more you thought about it the funnier the whole situation was.

“Can we just pretend this never happened?” His cheeks turned red and he scratched the back of his neck. It was adorable to see Mat out of his element, his confident exterior completely gone.

“I don’t think I want to, you look cute freaking out.”

“I’m cute, eh?” And just like that the Mat you knew was back, embarrassment disappearing as his cocky smile grew.

“Shit forgot rule number one: never give Mathew Barzal a compliment.”

“You’ve got more rules?” He leaned against the wall and accompanied the question with a jerk of his head.

“Rule number two: he will automatically assume the worst so be careful who you hang out with.”

“Ha. Funny.”

“If it makes you feel better it showed you care. In a really stupid twisted way, but it did.”

“Good. Because I really do care.” He said with so much sincerity, looking you in the eyes, hoping you could see in his how genuine he was being.

“I know.” you replied with the same amount of honesty.

The two of you went silent, only staring at each other with bright eyes and adorable smiles. There was nothing left to say.

If you had to pinpoint the moment in which you gave up trying to hold back your feelings this would be it. You had unsuccessfully tried to not get your hopes up all this time, while truly you knew there was no point in trying, it was gonna happen anyway. The only thing left for you to do was hope it didn’t end up with you getting hurt.

As if he could read your mind Mat opened his mouth, ready to ask you that one question again, but in that moment the locker room doors flung open.

“Barzy!” Anders called him, his head peeking through the door. “You and Pelly are up for the postgame interview, go shower already.”

“I should go.” he said and you nodded. He started walking away reluctantly, not wanting to leave you, not wanting the moment to be over. You didn’t want it to be over either.

“Mat?” you called and he turned around. “Are you free on friday?”

“Are you asking me on a date?” One of his brows went up in amusement.

“Still haven’t decided if I’m calling it a date or not.” He was not going to push it, not when after all he was (maybe) getting what he had been after all this time.

“I’m free.”

“Good. We can arrange everything later.”

“Good.”

There you were again, looking at each other with stupid love eyes, unable to hide your happiness. Mat told himself he was going to wait, he was going to rush it, but God he wanted to grab your face and kiss you so much it was painful to abstain.

“Mathew!” It was Anders again, this time louder and more annoyed.

“I’m going! I’m going!” he shouted back and rolled his eyes, making you laugh. “See you on Friday.”

He leaned in to kiss your cheek, that would have to make it for now. That tingle in your stomach was back, you’d have to call it The Mat Barzal Effect because he was the one always causing it. It made you feel like a silly 15 year old with a crush, which apart from the age wasn’t that far from the reality.

“Goodbye Barzal.” you said as he walked away.

He stopped to give you a final smile before pushing the doors open and walking in. That stupid tingling again.

His teammates looked at him as he walked over to his stall, each one of them ready to chirp him about the lovesick look he had in his face and the spring he suddenly had in his step. Anders was the first. “I’m gonna assume that smile isn’t because you got named first star.”

For a not date, it looked a lot like one. You wouldn’t have spent an hour dressing and undressing looking for the perfect outfit, and another extra hour fixing your hair and makeup, if it were just two friends hanging out. Mat wouldn’t have shown up at your door with flowers if it were just two friends hanging out. Most importantly the two of you wouldn’t be this nervous if this wasn’t a date, but still you refused to call it that.

It was tense at first, a bit awkward, but once you sat on the table he had reserved everything started to ease up. There was an unspoken pact to not talk about that certain topic, the elephant in the room, the reason you were sitting at the restaurant having a lovely dinner in the first place. So you spoke about everything else.

Conversation flew but you expected it to. Nerves aside it was Mat after all, you were friends, kind of. You talked, joked, laughed; as if it was a normal night with him just hanging out like you’ve done many times before.

He was charming, he always was charming with you, but this time you saw him with different eyes. When he told you you looked beautiful for the fourth time you didn’t roll your eyes thinking it was just a joke; you thanked him and even blushed a little. This new Mat, that was exactly like the old Mat but with a different undertone echoing his words an action; this new Mat was making you fall harder than what you expected. And while the idea of free falling into him and letting your emotions run wild was tempting you had to hold yourself back.

After dinner he proposed to go for a walk in an attempt to prevent the no-date from ending. You agreed, not wanting the night to end either. As soon as you walked into the street he took your hand in his and you were about to make some snarky comment about how holding hands was only reserved for real dates, but it felt good to have his hand wrapped around yours. Plus you could take it had taken him a leap of faith and a bit of courage for him to do it so naturally by the way he was avoiding all eye contact, so you decided to be nice just this once.

You walked into a park and when you passed by a nice bench illuminated by a lamppost it felt like a divine sign that it was the time and place to have that conversation.

“Let’s sit for a moment.” you said, already dragging him to the bench by your still entangled hands.

“It’s time to have that talk, isn’t it?” You could almost see the nerves from before coming back to him.

“Chill Barzal. I’m not going to interrogate you or anything. I just have one question.”

“Ok, shoot.”

There was no doubt in your mind Mat has proven he could seriously date someone, but part of you still wondered if he wanted to date you. Part of you was terrified that the only reason he was set to prove you wrong in the first place was because that night he heard you say he could have a chance. It was cynical to think you were just a challenge for him, especially after what you had gone through the past weeks, but you couldn’t help it.

“I know we’ve always had this kinda playful dynamic where you flirt with me and I pretend you’re the most despisable man on earth, and I always took it as a joke. Was it always a joke until you heard me and Emma that night?”

There it was, the question was out in the open and Mat now held in his hands the future of whatever it was the two of you were building. He took a second to reply, a second that felt like eternity and only made the anxious feeling grow inside of you.

“Kind of. Yes.”

Your heart broke. He gave you the one answer you were hoping he wouldn’t. When it all started you told yourself you’d never get your hopes up for him exactly for this reason, but you couldn’t control it and they inevitably did. But before tonight you swore no matter how much you wanted it you’d put an end to it all if there was the slight chance his feelings and desire to date you suddenly started after realizing he simply could.

You moved your hand away from his. He noticed the impact his answer had on you and has to fix it. He couldn’t let it slip away just because he chose the wrong words.

“No. Wait.” He took your hand in his again.

“Mat-” you started to say and pulled your hand away again but he cut you off and tightened the grip.

“It’s more complicated than that.” He was silently begging you to let him explain. Since you didn’t move away he took that as a yes. “See I always liked you, ever since Emma introduced you to the group. But I know my reputation, so I knew you wouldn’t date me. I never blamed you for it, I know I haven’t been the most stand up guy when it comes to my love life. So I guess I started to jokingly flirt with you to deal with my feelings in a way. If it was just a joke then it wasn’t real.”

“And then you heard me that night.” you added. He nodded.

“And then I heard you that night. When I realized I had the slightest chance with you I knew I had to take it.”

“That was a way better answer than your first one.” you said, unable to hide your smile.

Mathew Barzal had passed the test. Any ounce of doubt that was left in your mind disappeared. He liked you, he really liked you and had done so for longer that you ever imagined. It wasn’t some shallow meaningless plan to get his way with you. Now you were ready to dive in head first fearless.

“You seriously never noticed how much I like you?” He always thought he wasn’t being that obvious, but according to everyone that had ever seen you two intercat Mat was. Sometimes he couldn’t take his eyes away from you, even when you were standing on the other side of the room. He’d laugh a little too much at a joke you made. He’d always order your favorite drink for you whenever you went out. Countless times his friends had chirped him about it. It was crystal clear to everyone, to everyone except you.

“I always thought you were joking. That and I didn’t think I was your type”

“What!?” he seemed genuinely shocked by your answer. You were a little embarrassed to admit how much you had compared yourself to the girls he would flirt with, but you had done it and it was painfully clear you weren’t the type.

“Come on, I’m not like the girls you usually like Mat. I’m not like the instagram models, new york socialites, puck bunnies, bombshells you normally pick up on bars. I’m just me.”

“Well just you is a thousand times better. Just you has been driving me crazy from the day we met with her snarky comments and roll of eyes.” You rolled your eyes at his comment but couldn’t stop the blush from creeping into your cheeks. “You're beautiful and smart and funny and nice. I thought you were so out of my league. Still think so.”

“Well you convinced me Barzal, there’s no doubt in my mind how serious you are, how real your feelings are.” you repeated his words from that night.

“You remember that?” he asked surprised.

“You didn’t expect me to?” Your eyebrow went up defyingly.

“No, no. It’s just we never talked about it after so I just assumed you were too drunk and forgot everything.”

“Mhm. And I also heard something about being the one for you.” His cheeks turned red and he looked away. A shy Mathew Barzal might be the cutest thing you had ever seen. “Are you blushing? Am I making the Mathew Barzal blush? Oh my god-”

Your words died the moment he attached his lips to yours. It was clumsy at first as you laughed against his lips, but you fell into rhythm when you tilted your head so your lips could meet firmly and happily at once. His lips were soft like you had joked that night, and they tasted like the wine you had shared over dinner. It was intoxicating, the feeling of his lips on yours, his hand in your waist pulling you closer, your hand on the back of his neck. He gripped you firmly, as if trying to stop you from escaping.

You were the one to pull away first, but his lips chased yours making you giggle. You gave him a final peck, knowing there would be plenty more kissed like this sooner rather than later. That made your heart burst with happiness.

“Would you go out on a date with me?” he asked once again, knowing this time he would earn himself a different answer. You smiled up at him.

“I don’t know…”

“Smartass.” he said in the most endearing way possible as his hand went to cup your face, drawing you closer so his lips could find yours again.

You whispered a ‘yes’ into the kiss, but were unsure if he heard it. He didn’t have to anyway, he already knew the answer.

Well hope you guys liked it!! It feels so good to be back. Likes and reblogs are always appreciated and dont be affraid to tell me your thoughts on the fic. Thank you so much!!! <3

taglist pt1:

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if your url is crossed out im sorry but for some reason it wont let me tag you, also if you've changed your url and would like to still be in the taglist please let me know and obviously if you want to be taken out of the taglist just let me know no hard feelings i promise <3

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brrbrina · 4 months

Text

lie down with me

summary - a movie night with his best friend derails into joe finally going for it

pairing - joe burrow x fem!reader

wordcount - 2.5k

A/N: this is just me finding dumb places to force my hyperfixations into.. enjoy (ps. watch x-files it fucking slaps (and both mulder and scully are hot as fuck))

masterlist

There was nothing inherently weird about laying on Joe’s couch, her feet in his lap as he tapped on her calves intermediately with his fingers, for Y/N. It was basically the middle of the night for Joe, i.e. nearing 10:30 pm. His head kept falling to the side, his body trying to force him to fall asleep but he kept his eyes open and pierced to the screen in front of him.

Just five more minutes. Then ten, an hour, maybe two, and so on.

It was the day of their weekly movie night, and this time it was Y/N’s choice, resulting in them watching the next few episodes of the X-Files on Joe’s TV, bundled under blankets. Although the initial deal between the two friends was that it was a movie night – which they still called it – when it was Y/N’s turn, it was the X-Files or Bones. Nothing in between. No movie would touch that screen on her accord.

Joe wasn’t much better, opting for some type of cartoon (9 out of ten times SpongeBob). Usually his were series, too, but to his credit at least sometimes he chose a movie... for kids.

He did have to admit that he had grown to love the X-Files, maybe because of its nostalgic feel or because it validated his belief in extraterrestrials, something he and Y/N often bickered about. But the casual insanity of the show somehow became something he looked forward to, even if he’d never actually admit it aloud near Y/N.

Every time they’d sit down to watch her series, no matter the violence or gore depicted on the screen, his stomach would be doing somersaults trying to avoid the butterflies swarming. All because she’d have her head on his shoulder or her feet in his lap, just like she did right then. And his favorite times – when he felt extra lucky to even be allowed so near – when Y/N let him lay his head in her lap as she scratched along his scalp with her nails, nearly lulling him to sleep.

They’d been doing this for four years, ever since Joe got drafted into the NFL and their time together suddenly got cut in half. Having a set date where they had to hang out was always something for Joe to look forward to, something that would make a great week with a win better, and any losing or exhausting week immediately okay.

“You’re not gonna fall asleep on me, are you?”

Her soft voice cut through the TV, and he now noticed the volume was significantly lower.

“No, of course not,” he said, punctuating his sentence with a yawn.

“Joey,” she sighed, tucking her legs underneath her in a criss-cross manner as she sat up, effectively removing herself from his grasp. The coldness that hit him was instantaneous and jarring, restarting whatever part of his brain was trying to ruin this one night for him. “I can go home if you wanna go to sleep, I really don’t wanna bother you and your grandpa sleep schedule.”

Even though she was teasing him – lightheartedly – he still couldn’t help but crack a smile, before panic set in at the thought of her leaving early. She’d usually leave sometime after 11, calling an uber or driving herself home, depending on how dark it was and how insistent Joe was on her safety.

“No, no, stay. I’m fine,” he hummed, subconsciously moving closer to her.

The movement was obvious to Y/N, and as she knew how stubborn he was, she just straightened back out into her previous position with her back to the armrest of the couch. She sat up for a minute to pull Joe towards her by the collar of his hoodie, making his brain short-circuit for a hot minute.

She let him settle on her stomach, his face turned toward the TV and glasses pushed askew on his face. She knew he needed and wanted to sleep, but would refuse to whether she was there or if she left him, knowing she could’ve stayed, so she thought putting him to sleep herself would be easier.

The glow of the flickering lights from the movie showed up in the prettiest way across Joe’s pale face, creating a landscape of color along the bridge of his nose, his cheekbones and eyes. The lenses of his glasses were nearly a mirrored image of the TV, and with them being as crooked as they were just added to the adorable nature of a tired Joe.

Joe was immobilized, completely frozen in place as his heart pounded and pounded, not finding a reason to slow down with this new position of theirs. He was laying between her legs, arms around her middle, nose pressed into the side of her – formerly his – sweatshirt that smelled just like her.

Even through the anxiety and dizziness, his body automatically relaxed, melting into Y/N’s, the second her nails raked through his curls – which he had been growing out for a while.

“D’you think I should cut my hair soon? It’s getting kinda long,” he mumbled, nearly incoherently but she seemed to have heard him.

“No, I like it at this length. It’s easy to run my hands through,” she admitted, not stopping her motions.

Joe thought his heart might burst, or maybe his brain, or his entire being. If he had died right then and there in her arms, the fabric around her frame bunched up in his hand like he used to do to his security blanket as a kid, he wouldn’t even have been mad.

“Noted,” he smiled, trying to keep it subdued as much as possible, but he just couldn’t. He closed his eyes, just hoping it would help the rest of his senses take everything in from the scene around him; the thud of her heart beating right above his head, her soft breathing fanning across his face, her nails on his scalp, her other hand on his upper back rubbing soothing circles with her thumb. He didn’t even need to see to feel the innate joy.

“I found that hoodie you were looking for,” she mentioned casually, voice softer and quieter than before as her movements slowed.

“That’s okay, you’ll just have to come over again to bring it,” he grinned, not even trying to hide it. “Or you could keep it, if you’d like.”

“I don’t wanna mooch off of you too much. I’m already stealing enough of your clothes and coming over to your house to eat your food and use all your fancy machines,” she whispered, removing her hand from his back to pause the movie, and not returning to touch him – much to Joe’s chagrin.

As if he was in some half-delirious state thanks to his tiredness, he just groaned, unwrapping one of his arms from around her and pulling her hand back to his shoulder, effectively making her hug him. She only laughed softly in return, raking her hands through his slightly curled dirty blond hair.

“You can take as much as you want from me, I don't mind,” he smiled, turning his head so he could look up at her face, his chin leaning against her stomach. “I like spoiling you, even if it's with things that are mine.”

The heat that crawled up her neck helped her breathing pick up, a surge of self-consciousness washing over her along with the embarrassment she for some reason felt.

“Stop it, don’t look at me from there,” she groaned, immediately throwing her head back as far as she could to hide her face. Her neck was fully exposed then, showing the small necklace Joe had given her for her birthday last year. "You'll just see my double chins and every angle you should not see."

Joe didn't even register her words, eyes transfixed on the necklace. A dainty silver chain, with a small gem embedded into it. The stone was light, seemingly changing color with the light. But usually it was a light orange or blush.

It wasn’t as expensive or fancy as he’d wanted it to be, looking for every and any opportunity to splurge for her sake, but he knew she'd like the simplicity of a heartfelt gift over the price of anything designer just for the sake of it.

“You’re wearing the necklace,” he mumbled, giving up on thinking before speaking – consequences be damned.

She smiled, removing her hands from her face as she lifted the pendant up into her view, studying it with her eyes. “Yeah, I love it. I think I wear it, like, every day.”

“And I gave it to you.”

“You did,” she giggled, finding his tiredness adorable. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes open, but Y/N couldn’t hold it against him. He did a lot during the day and throughout the year, no wonder he was so tired at 7pm.

He fought to keep his eyes on her face, tracing the slope of her nose and the shape of her eyes. The way her eyelashes clumped together in one spot and her uneven brows. “You’re really gorgeous, y’know,” he mumbled, a lazy grin on his face. "Just in case no one tells you often enough."

Y/N could feel herself start to sweat, and her breath catch in her throat. “I– thank you. You’re pretty, too.”

Joe just continued gazing at her, just as he usually did when drunk – around her he tended to be a happy and affectionate drunk. Her arms settled around him again, as his grip tightened around her.

A quiet moment passed, just filled by the soft hum of the refrigerator and the wind blowing outside.

“I think I might be in love with you,” Joe whispered, unwavering in his eye-contact, deepest blues staring into hers.

Y/N truly didn’t know what to think or feel, much less what to actually say to him. She just let her brain shut off for the moment, just doing what felt right.

And what felt the most right was guiding her hand to his cheek, her thumb stroking his defined cheekbone and tracing his nose, before she whispered, “Can I kiss you?”

Joe laughed softly, not quite willing to believe what was actually happening. He pushed himself up on his arms, nearly crawling up her body as they laid face to face, heart to heart. “Yeah.”

Neither knew who initiated first, since they both leaned in at the same time. Joe’s lips were surprisingly soft, contradictory to his habit of biting his bottom lip, as they caressed Y/N’s and she felt like she was on cloud nine.

It wasn’t hot or overly passionate, just sweet and comfortable. Joe lingered, and Y/N could feel a smile spreading across his lips as they kissed.

The longer kisses faded into short pecks, some missing her mouth and eventually moving all around her face. Joe kissed her nose, her jaw, her cheeks, the side of her head – any part of her he could get ahold of.

Tucking his arms under hers, Joe settled down onto her chest with his head under her chin, glasses foggy and completely crooked on his face. He hugged her tightly, sighing deeply before succumbing to a small fit of giggles.

“I can't believe that just happened,” he laughed, his voice bubbly despite the small cracks in it caused by his tiredness.

“Me neither,” Y/N smiled, one arm around Joe and the other on the back of his head, playing with his hair.

“Will you stay here? For the night?” he asked, eyes wide and full of unbridled hope.

“Do you want me to?” she asked, just to make sure.

“Well, yeah, of course,” he smiled, his breath tickling her skin.

“I think the guest bedroom still has–”

“Sleep with me,” he said easily, innocently.

“I’m sorry?” she sputtered, completely taken aback.

Joe scrunched his face up and buried it in the collar of her hoodie, letting out a soft laugh. “No, I meant like, lay down with me, in my bed. To sleep,” he clarified. “No funny business, I promise.”

“Okay,” she whispered, looking down at him softly.

He quickly got up, maybe a bit too fast as he nearly stumbled over, losing his footing as his vision turned black. He held out a hand to her, ever the gentleman, before tugging her up alongside him.

He kept her hand in his as they walked upstairs, making sure to turn off the lights first – without letting go of each other. They giggled and playfully shoved each other down the hallway, before finally getting to Joe’s room.

After having been friends for so many years, they’d had their fair share of sleepovers, long before Joe had the luxury of offering his guests their own room. Back then, she’d sleep in his twin-sized bed, underneath his space themed comforter, Marvel and Brees posters above his head, while he slept on the floor next to her.

The night not being too far out of the ordinary, at least in part, offered a sense of peace and routine, letting the two fall into old habits. Joe fished a t-shirt out of his closet for Y/N, knowing she ran hot when she slept. He couldn’t wait to see her in it either.

Grabbing the tee out of his hand, she thanked him with a quick kiss to his cheek before disappearing into the bathroom to change. Not a minute later she came back out, her sweatpants and hoodie in hand. She didn’t even feel bare, even if she was only in her underwear and a shirt, because the shirt reached mid-thigh, covering everything it needed to.

As an added bonus it smelled just like Joe.

Joe had “changed”, too. But it only consisted of pulling his hoodie off, leaving him in his sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

“Do you have a spare toothbrush?” she asked, folding her clothes up in a pile on an empty chair.

“Yeah, I have one in the bathroom,” he said, walking into the ensuite, Y/N close behind. He rummaged through some drawers before he found one.

There was something about standing side by side brushing their teeth that made Joe’s heart swell. He was getting too far ahead of himself, picturing the rest of his days and nights the same.

He’d wake up next to her, kiss her good morning, make her breakfast before going off to work. When she’d get home from her job he’d kiss her hello, ask about her day, before cuddling up in front of the TV just like they’d done today. Then when the sun set, they’d brush their teeth together again, before falling asleep tangled in each other’s limbs.

Even with a blue toothpaste stain on her cheek, he thought Y/N was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.

Not reading too far into it, he wiped it off with his thumb before kissing her lips gently.

“Wanna go to bed now?” she asked, a hand on his shoulder softly guiding him out of the room before he even had time to answer. She could see the slight droop in his eyes, and the way he swayed where he stood, and knew she’d kept him up longer than she should’ve.

Finally settling beneath the covers wasn’t odd. Especially since they weren’t touching at first. They just laid face to face, comforters tucked up to their chins as they just looked at each other, before Joe pulled her into him, his head landing above hers. Y/N’s cheek was flat to his broad chest, arms around his torso, the steady beat of his heart putting her to sleep quicker than ever before.

Safe to say it was the best sleep of Joe’s life, without a shadow of a doubt.

649 notes · View notes

brrbrina · 4 months

Text

chemtrails

summary - high school sweethearts rarely work out, but the memories and hope still remain out there, somewhere

pairing - joe burrow x fem!reader

wordcount - 4.1k

A/N: the amount of research i do just for one fanfic is astounding

masterlist

Having that one first love to think back on is both a blessing and a curse. The memories, closeness and lessons you gain from that person are irreplaceable and inestimable. But having that person be Joe Burrow was not the wisest choice in hindsight.

Joe was easily the best person Y/N had ever known, and she didn’t for a second regret any of their time together. But having to see someone you loved and lost on TV every week, and then hear everyone mention their name in every other sentence, made it more than a little difficult to move on.

It didn’t help either that Y/N never left Athens, the place they met and fell for each other. Every single place in that town held some memory, usually bittersweet or over romanticized. They had picnics in the park, swam in the lake every summer and snuck behind the school for stolen kisses during breaks. And every time she passed any of the places, she was reminded of him.

Joe and Y/N had ended things on a good note, deciding that a long distance relationship would be far too strenuous for their relationship. They stayed at least somewhat in contact up until Joe transferred to LSU, in Louisiana. It wasn’t for lack of trying on either part, it just didn’t seem to be in the cards for them.

The amiability of their relationship was also a big factor in why Athens was such a big source of never ending disappointment and hope. Y/N had no reason to hate Joe. In fact, everything new she heard of him only made her fondness for the player stronger.

But staying behind and waiting, waiting, and waiting, for years, whether subconsciously or not was taking its toll. She was somewhat aware of the unhealthy attachment she still held onto, but she couldn’t let go, no matter how she tried.

She threw herself into her work and tried to be more outgoing, but nothing seemed to work when Joe was everywhere.

It didn’t help either when he periodically came back to town. She’d see him across the street and scurry off inside the nearest store to avoid speaking to him – mainly out of fear of breaking the crystal image she had of him – and then listen to everyone fawn over the Joe Burrow for the next few weeks whilst raving about his football prowess.

Y/N often went back to the grass plains where she and Joe would so often meet when they were dating. She felt weird calling it “their spot”, since she was sure they weren’t the first nor would they be the last to claim that spot. But still, being there gave her some semblance of stability and comfort that only Joe could give her.

They used to meet there, on that grass overlooking the lake and the perimeter of the woods, back when they were still sneaking around, not telling anyone about their relationship. She’d say she was going to the library to study, before riding her bike the rough mile and a half down the old asphalted road with all the cracks. It was fixed now, but she still remembered what Joe used to say every time she arrived and he was already there.

“Why do you insist on taking your bike? The roads suck and it’s dangerous,” he’d whine, wrapping his arms around her waist. “At least take the bus, so I don’t have to worry about you all night.”

And every time, she’d remind him, “Joey, you biked here yourself. It’s fine, I promise.”

If she closed her eyes and thought back to those moments, she could still feel how his soft skin felt under her palm, and the feel of the barely there scruff he was trying to grow out to no avail.

Even now, lying down on that slightly damp grass, Y/N could almost feel Joe beside her. Every time she traced the clouds and chemtrails with her eyes, trying to guess shapes, he just stared at her, committing every freckle and hair to his memory, and that same feeling of being looked at but not watched remained.

She was happy with her life, content and calm, but not bored. There was nothing missing, she just wanted more, still craving and waiting for Joe.

────────────

It was the beginning of March, and the stinging of losing a Super Bowl with such a close margin was still there, even if it was becoming more dull by the day. Over the years, Joe had tried to spend as much time at home in Athens as was possible, but it was never as much as he’d wanted.

This year, finally at least somewhat healthy and still proud over a successful season, he went home almost immediately. Instead of booking a hotel room like he’d originally intended, his mom insisted on him spending the off season at his childhood home, in his childhood bedroom.

The walls still had the same sports posters and picture frames, filled with different family members and loved ones, the walls were still a dusty blue and his feet still dangled over the edge of his queen size bed just like they used to in high school. It was nostalgic to say the least, especially when his mom called him downstairs for dinner like old times.

“Joey, dinner’s ready!”

He bounded down the stairs just like he used to as a kid, mindful to not step on the one stair that creaked eerily. He swung around the railing, which was more difficult at 6’5’’ than it had been when he barely broke 5’4’’.

“Ooh, pasta, nice,” he hummed, sitting down in his usual place at the table, across from his dad and next to his mom. His brothers had long since moved out, and established new lives with careers, wives and children.

“I was in the grocery store today, and I heard from Peggy that Y/N got a new job at the hospital down by that park I used to take you to when you were younger. She's a nurse now,” his mother, Robin, mentioned between bites. “Apparently she finally finished her bachelor’s.”

It had long since been a dream for Y/N to work in healthcare, even if it did start with her wanting to be a doctor. But she was no athlete, and she certainly wasn’t lucky enough to get a scholarship, so she decided she couldn’t put her life on hold and take on mountains of debt, and instead became a nurse. It was close enough, in her eyes, and still held the opportunity to maybe expand her career later.

Joe was still somewhat surprised. When he went to Ohio State, and she stayed in Athens to work full time, he’d been under the assumption that it was for her to go be some hotshot doctor in New York or DC. Maybe that was just a romanticized and idealized version of whatever doctor-life he’d seen on TV.

“Oh,” he said, keeping his eyes set on the plate in front of him. “How’s she doing?”

“Oh, well, Peggy doesn’t know her personally,” Robin answered, “But you know Y/N, always making something out of nothing.”

“Dave did say that she’d recently broken off an engagement,” his father, Jimmy, interjected, retelling what his coworker had told him. Dave happened to be friends with Y/N’s parents, and had through them found out.

Small towns and gossip, always finding the smokeless fires.

Joe’s ears perked up quicker than a dog’s would hearing the word walk. “What? She was engaged to someone?”

“Some guy you two went to highschool with, I think,” his father shrugged. “I can’t remember his name, was it Carson… Mason…”

“Jason,” Joe corrected, piecing who it was.

Jason had had a crush on Y/N for as long as Joe had known her. She was completely oblivious to it, or in denial, he never could decide. She was friends with Jason while she was together with Joe, and with their relationship not being a public one, he just had to sit back and listen to another boy stare at her day in and day out.

It was heart wrenching for him.

The secrecy of their relationship was, even though a contributing factor to his jealousy, also a necessity for its survival. Y/N wasn’t allowed to date while she lived in her parents house, but the two just couldn’t stay away from each other, no matter how they’d tried.

And so, not even his parents knew of his long since ended relationship with Y/N, only that the two had been good friends.

“Whatever happened between you and Y/N, by the way? You two were so close when you were kids,” Robin inquired, leaning her head against her hand as she studied her son’s face.

The mother couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t also asking a bit for herself, she had always loved Y/N like her own daughter, and she wished she’d reenter Joe’s life. She was always such a good influence on him, helping him be more outgoing without pressuring him. She was a mother’s dream for her son.

“It sort of just fizzled out. It’s sad but it happens,” Joe shrugged.

“Why don’t you call her, since you’re in town now?” his father asked.

Blowing out his cheeks and leaning back against the backrest of the dining room chair, he huffed out a laugh. “Dad, it’s been like five years since I’ve even talked to her. She’s got other shit going on, clearly.”

Don’t sound jealous, he had to remind himself like a mantra. It wasn’t a good look on him, and only pushed him further into the misery of missing her.

After dinner, he helped his parents clear the table, before trying to bolt up the stairs like he always did. He had barely stepped on the second stair when his father called his name quietly from behind him.

“Joe, come on,” he motioned with his head toward the front door, not far from the stairwell.

Before the blonde boy could get even a word out, Jimmy was throwing the keys to his car at him, hitting him square in the chest as he caught them. His jacket followed soon after. “Go on then.”

“What?”

Jimmy only rolled his eyes, huffing in mock frustration. “Just go to her. We both know you want to so just put your dumb pride aside for a minute and just do it.”

“Even if I wanted to,” Joe started, narrowing his eyes at his father as he played with the car keys in his hand. “I have no idea where she lives nowadays.”

“She’s probably on that meadow by the lake, the one you snuck off to like every night when you were a teenager.”

Joe’s eyes went wide, not thinking quickly enough to realize the admittance the automatic action was. “How did you–?”

“It was every night, Joey,” his father sighed, clapping a hand on his son’s shoulder. “I might have trouble hearing sometimes but I’m not deaf. You sucked at sneaking in and out of the house. You’re lucky your mother sleeps like a log.”

Joe went completely red, the flush spreading from his cheeks up to the tops of his ears. He stammered a few times, trying to find the right words to say that would neither incriminate him further nor complicate the situation further.

“I drive by the lake on the way to your grandma’s house, and I swear I still see her there sometimes. Though, my eyesight isn’t what it used to be,” Jimmy admitted, squinting in jest. “But, I think it’s at least worth a shot.”

“And if she isn’t there?”

“Then go knocking door to door.”

Joe pursed his lips at his father, giving him an unimpressed look.

“If you don’t have any better ideas…” Jimmy cocked his head, pushing his son out of the house as quietly as he could. “Now go.”

────────────

The sun was setting over the lake as Y/N laid on the slowly greening yellowed field. Luckily, the weather in Ohio was undergoing a dry-spell, and the ground was dry as could be.

Any other time, she would’ve just stood there a while taking in the scenery, but with the average warmth March in Ohio could offer – temperature in the mid-fifties – and the lack of rain, she just had to lay down for a while.

A scarf was wrapped loosely around her neck, the tassels on the ends tickling her neck with each deep breath she took. The earbuds in her ears were playing quietly, just enough to add to the calmness she was creating. Slow, melancholy beats of Fleetwood Mac flooded her senses as she just stared up at the pale gray sky.

Every once in a while, a plane would trail over, leaving behind those same patterns she always looked for. They were barely lighter than the sky, and the only thing visible among the flood of clouds.

Her jacket reached far down to her mid thigh, just enough to keep her entire body warm as she remained still. Because that’s what she needed; the placidity of a simple life.

Of course she still heard the subtle sound of an electric-motorized vehicle approaching her, but she just assumed it was another passerby. She felt the presence of someone before she heard it, and the tingles running down her spine and setting her mind ablaze told her exactly who it was.

There was no running, no panic or anxiety, just the two of them like it had been so many times before. It felt so normal, Y/N couldn’t even be bothered to look at him, just continuing to trace the chemtrails in the sky with her eyes.

Seemingly overcome by the same peace as Y/N, Joe laid down next to her, not saying a word.

“Hi,” she mumbled, still keeping her eyes on the sky.

“Hey,” he replied, turning his head to look at her side profile.

The slope of her nose was still the same, the birthmarks and scars were still there, but she looked completely renewed. She still looked like herself, but grown up, with a stronger bone structure and calmer expression.

Wordlessly, she took out one of her earbuds for Joe to use, as they laid beside each other, talking for the first time in half a decade.

“Radiohead, nice,” he mumbled, still studying her face. He wasn’t sure he would ever be this close to her ever again, and wanted to make sure the proximity wasn’t wasted.

“I’d play something you like, but I can’t be bothered to reach for my phone,” she finally said, voice raspy with disuse.

Joe let his eyes drift down to her lips as she talked, just admiring how they moved.

“It’s okay, this is nice.”

Shuffling to her side to finally look Joe in the face, Y/N asked, “How’ve you been? How is your knee?”

He was caught off guard, just saying the first thing that came to mind; “You watch my games?”

“You were playing in the Superbowl, of course I watched.”

“My knee is doing fine,” he answered her earlier question, not wanting to assess the elephant in the room just yet. “Just gotta be careful and do my rehab,” he continued, his hand immediately ghosting over his knee as the phantom pain caused by the reminder returned for a second.

“That sounds like an answer you’d give a reporter,” she remarked, letting her eyebrow raise defiantly.

“It’s the truth,” he shrugged. “It does hurt like a bitch sometimes, though. But it’ll pass.”

“And how are you doing?” she repeated, noticing he tried avoiding the question.

“I’m okay. It’s nice to be home.”

Y/N didn’t know if it was her place to pry, to tell him to actually be honest, or if she even wanted to know the truth. It was a double edged sword, no answer he could give her would make her truly happy.

“I heard about… Are you okay?” Joe asked, hoping he worded things respectfully enough.

She sighed, looking over his shoulder to avoid his piercing blue gaze.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s for the best. It just wasn’t meant to be,” she shrugged, a sad but slightly apathetic smile tugging at her lips into a polite smile.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she assured him.

“I’m still sorry.”

His face was so expressive, especially his eyes, no matter how he tried to hide it. Whatever was on his mind felt so evident to Y/N every time she looked at him.

“When did you…” he asked, tentatively, before stopping completely. It felt like a step too far, especially knowing it was at least a relatively fresh wound. “Sorry.”

“No, no. I, uhm,” she furrowed her brows, looking up as she thought. “It was 2020, I think. There was never even a little overlap. We weren’t even talking anymore when I agreed to go out with him.”

She didn’t sound offended – thank god, he thought – more so understanding and adamant to disprove his fears.

“I didn’t mean to imply– I just wanted to know for sure, I guess.”

She only nodded in response, turning onto her back to look back up at the sky which was quickly darkening as the minutes passed.

Feels Like We Only Go Backwards, it was so fitting that the both of them chuckled the moment they recognised the song streaming through their headphones, stealing a glance at the other. The smiles stayed on their faces, even when Y/N turned back away.

It didn’t feel awkward between them, even if it maybe should’ve. They were practically strangers at this point, both leading completely separate lives, fulfilled in their own right.

“Do you ever think of what might’ve been?” Joe asked into the cold spring air. “If we stayed together?”

“Yes,” she answered immediately, too close for her dignity not to be bruised. “You were my first love, of course I think about us.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about us, about you. Especially since the Superbowl.”

“Why’s that?” she asked, letting her hand drift off of her thigh to rest on the ground between them.

“Just– walking out of the stadium, everyone was just so fucking crushed. And all I kept picturing was seeing you at the end of that tunnel, waiting for me. And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since.”

Toward the end of his short monologue, Y/N reached the last few inches and gripped his hand in hers, resting his hand in hers on the grass.

Joe’s heart started beating faster, but he hoped he’d be able to power through it, and be completely honest with her.

“I mean, I thought about you a lot before then, too. I never really stopped,” he admitted, sniffling – though Y/N couldn’t distinguish whether it was from the cold or something else. “But I guess it’s just been heavier recently, but I don’t know.”

Another beat, a well needed one for both of them. Joe needed to sort through his thoughts as Y/N fought to find the words to articulate her feelings – it wasn’t exactly her strong suit.

“The reason I left Jason,” she started, sighing immediately as she brought her free hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose. “God, I sound like such an ass, but I guess I was comparing him too much to you. It wasn’t fair to him. Or me. But especially him. I wasn’t a good partner.”

It hurt to admit, especially out loud. But if Joe could vocalize his feelings, so should she. If not for closure, then just for fairness. After all, their relationship was at the center of their shared and individual heartache.

“Like, washing my hair – he never offered to do it for me like you used to when we had the house to ourselves. And when we went grocery shopping, every time he grabbed a food you didn’t like or we never used to get, I just kept thinking, Joe’s allergic to that or Joe would’ve bought me those flowers that were on sale.”

Joe kept quiet, just soaking in her words and the pain behind them. It was hard for her to get the words out without choking on them, not from admitting she thought about him for the time they were apart, but because of the immense shame and guilt she felt.

“I never told Jason, either,” she said, her voice a quiet mumble, so silent that it was almost like she didn’t want to be heard.

Joe’s eyebrows shot up at the admittance, his lips forming a confused pout. What didn’t she tell him? That we were together, that she still thought about me while they were together? The thoughts were starting to overwhelm Joe, as his mind spun a mile a minute.

Putting him out of his misery, Y/N clarified; “That we’d been together, I mean. It would’ve been awkward asking you out of the blue – Hey, our mutual friend who I’m dating is asking about my dating history, is it okay if I tell them I was in love with you, or? – and not asking felt like a betrayal of trust somehow so I just kept my mouth shut.”

“Yeah, that would’ve been a bit weird, wouldn’t it?” he asked, laughing lightly as he turned his head toward her again. “I would’ve hated hearing about it though. I would’ve come back to Athens immediately. Especially if I found out it was Jason, of all guys.”

Y/N pouted immediately, stiffening, “What’s wrong with Jason? He was your friend, too?”

“Well, yeah, but he was totally in love with you while we were together. Kinda hard to like a guy when he’s making googly eyes at your girlfriend while you’re standing right there.”

“He was?” her face relaxed as she spoke. “God, I feel even worse, now,” she groaned, removing her hand from his and bringing both of hers to cover her face as she felt herself heat up.

“It’s not your fault, or his,” Joe admitted, turning his upper body so he was leaning over Y/N as she laid back on the cold grass. “I can’t exactly blame him for falling for you, can I?”

“I guess that would be pretty hypocritical, huh?” she conceded, letting her hands drag down her face and come to rest on both sides of her jaw before she opened her eyes, immediately seeing Joe’s bright blue ones staring down at her.

Slowly and calmly, Joe lowered himself onto her, making sure to keep eye contact so he could look for any signs to back off. He tucked his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of her shampoo – the exact same one she used in highschool – while wrapping his arms around her middle.

Not even caring that she was dragging 215 lbs of muscle on top of her, she clung to his hoodie, burying her arms between the layer and his jacket, as she brought him as close to her as she could.

Joe was mumbling what sounded like nonsense into her neck as he burrowed closer, almost as if he was trying to get inside her skin.

Y/N couldn’t even feel how her lung capacity had lowered for the time being, she was so wrapped up in Joe, wrapped around him.

It was enough for them – there were no outright confessions of love or heated passionate declarations, no kisses or caresses. Just pure closeness and care for each other. Maybe that was because the both of them still held a candle for the other, hoping that this exact day would someday come – the opportunity for a second chance.

“My mom misses you,” Joe whispered, lips close to her ear.

It made her grin widely, pearly teeth visible for anyone to see. “Oh, I miss her, too. And your dad.”

“This just feels right,” Joe mumbled, leaving a soft kiss to her neck with his slightly chapped lips – not that Y/N minded.

“Yeah, makes me wonder why we ever broke up.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t have.”

“Maybe not.”

Joe suddenly pushed himself onto his forearms, still looming over Y/N as he moved to brush the stray hairs away from her face, and correct the scarf that he’d moved to get closer to her. “How about we meet here tomorrow again, and then just go from there.”

In reply, she slowly reached upward. One hand rested on his stubbled cheek as she pressed a simple kiss to his cheek, letting her lips linger for the shortest second.

His face immediately broke out in an uncontrollable grin, “D’you like that? My idea?”

“Of course,” she smiled, biting her lip to keep her feelings from spreading too far on her face. “It’s yours.”

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brrbrina · 4 months

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i LOVE him but he NEEDS moisturizer 😭

Baby boy🥹🩵

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brrbrina · 4 months

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sapphire lies

a/n: hi!! I'm so excited for this !! let’s pretend mat barzal is a football player and not a hockey player lmao it just didn’t make sense to put him as a hockey player but i’ve been obsessed with him lately. also i have no idea if this will turn into a 3 chapter story, i hope you like it.

Blue eyes were adorned by stars that were only shown when a certain light would appear, as if a comet was shown in plain daylight time. A starlight she could only hope to see in her dreams, was it too selfish wishing that those eyes looked at her the way she looked at them?

She was taller, her arms were long and her fingertips were always colored by the season the year was on, her lips were plump as a peach, her hair was the prettiest shade you could never aspire to have, not even with a 12 hour shift at the most expensive salon; always adorned with a small bow that would match her clothes, this time, her bow was purple, her hair was put up in a ponytail, high enough to see the last name that would eventually hers..

“You look lovely” Robin said standing up to say hello to her future daughter in-law, “You are one to talk, you look fantastic” she said smiling at her, “Taylor, hi, i love your shorts you look so sporty today” That wasn’t true ,she was wearing a white shirt and denim shorts, she would’ve worn the jersey of the quarterback, but she didn’t.

joe b sent new message:

hey Tay i don’t mean to sound rude or anything but could you please stop wearing my jersey to the games? ik this is a weird thing to ask but i don’t want Kat to feel like she has any competition or anything.

not saying she has but

you know what i mean

Taylor didn’t reply to the text, in fact she cried like a newborn baby afterwards, she was really even planning on attending the game, but she knew Joe’s mom would attend, it became a tradition to watch his games together back when they were in high school. When he transferred to LSU, she was over the moon, Joe and Taylor had been best friends since she was 16 and he was 17, they met because Taylor needed a tutor in physics, and Joe needed a few bucks, their friendship skyrocketed since.

You sat next to Robin, your eyes were watching the game but your mind was somewhere else, you came to earth after the screaming noises that you heard beside you, LSU won 23-20 over the Auburn Tigers, you came back from your trance after Robin told you to come to the field with her and Katherine. It was a horrible idea, you were planning on leaving early but you couldn’t, as you stood there on the field, you watched Katherine jump into Joe's arms, kissing him and telling him how proud she was of him, she stood awkwardly, Robin was the next one to demonstrate her happiness of the winning game to Joe. He was called into the locker rooms after hugging his mom. As they were walking back to the sidelines to wait for him, an overwhelming feeling took over you, he didn’t peek at you, not even once;

“I’m going to head out I have a huge paper due tomorrow, it was nice seeing you” You said hugging Robin as she kissed you forehead “It was so nice seeing you, any chance I have and I’m taking you back home with me” she smiled, Taylor waved goodbye to Kat and made her way to her dorm.

She were out of breath, Joe came over that night, they had been sleeping together for about 4 months now, it was a sporadic thing that happened at what she thought was the right time. Contrary to popular belief, she wasn’t love with Joe before the sex started, not even a spark was there, Taylor knew he was hot, as fuck, Joe felt the same way about her.

The night it began she was wearing jeans and a shirt that showed off her collar, as she was talking and noticed Joe’s eyes drifting from hers, he began looking at her lips and then at her breasts, he was licking his lips and she were lost in the lust that now reined in his blue eyes. “Do you want to have sex?” you thought out loud, next thing you knew Joe’s back was covered in scratches and her neck and breasts were full of hickeys. But she didn’t fall in love with him for the great sex they were having, she fell in love because he was the last thing she saw before she went to sleep and the first thing she felt around you in the morning. He was warm everytime he was near her, he always smelled so manly, so clean and made her feel at home. There was a period of time when their encounters stopped being only sex, it became aftercare that became kissing without lust, it became Taylor falling in love with him.

“Someone is blowing up you phone” she said between kisses “Don’t worry about it” he said kissing attacking her lips, it was a heated moment, but sometimes, there is a feeling in your stomach that doesn’t leave “I-I think we should stop” she said stepping away from the kiss “Are you okay?” he asked “Yeah, I just” she stuttered “I’m not in the mood” she said looking at him, he leaned back and stood up, “We can watch a movie” she said looking up at him, “No, it’s fine I have to be up early tomorrow for practice anyway” Her throat closed.

What? Since he cares so much about waking up early for practice, he has gone to practice after a rough night. She saw him leaving your dorm that night, she didn’t hear from him in the next hours, she went to bed and chose to shut your thoughts.

robin burrow:

It was so good seeing you doll. I’m leaving until Monday, I would love to treat you to brunch tomorrow. What do you say?

taylor:

hi robin!! i would love to, i was planning on going to the mall, if you want to we could go together too 🙂

And so she went, over brunch they only talked about the brunette , how she was doing and how was life back home, she missed her mom, Robin became kind of a second mom once her kid and Taylor started hanging out. She remembered the first time they met, Joe picked her up from a friends reunion and brought her home to make pumpkin pie, he had been waiting for that the whole week.She was the sweetest person ever, after going to Joe’s games the two became closer, she never had a daughter, she always said Taylor was the closest to knowing how being a girl mom would’ve been.

“Your hair got so long since the last time i saw you” Robin said looking at her, she loved spending just the two of them, there was a certain connection she could only have with her, they have known each other for a while now, 4 years sound so little but actually it felt like a lifetime together.

“Let’s take a picture to send to your mom” Robin said after about 4 hours of shopping, she took the picture, hugged her goodbye and parted ways. After driving to her dorm building, she took a shower, it was almost 4 and as much as she loved shopping with Robin, she was hard to keep up with.

Robin Burrow tagged you in a post.

Robin Burrow: Got to hang out with my daughter today! Always a fun time with this doll.

joe b sent a new message:

How did I not know my mom invited you shopping

Could’ve asked Kat to go with you guys.

The happiness she felt on her stomach dropped after those messages popped on her notification center. Like a punch in the throat.

Taylor: what’s gotten into you? Do you not like me hanging out with your mom?

joe b: All I’m saying you could’ve asked my girlfriend to go too

Girlfriend, like an uppercut that was smashed to her face.

Taylor: not my fault your mom didn’t invite her??

joe b: Whatever just

joe b: She should start hanging out with my mom, and my mom needs to let you go.

Taylor: what does that even mean??

joe b: You do realize we are not boyfriend and girlfriend right?

joe b: Like whatever happened between the both of us ended a long time ago, you don't need to play daughter in law with my mom.

Taylor: You can come pick up your stuff from my dorm, I’ll leave it outside on a box.

joe b: Good.

That night, Taylor couldn’t stop crying, she lost her best friend, and the closest thing shehad to a mother, Robin was the one who helped her choose her prom dress since her own mom was too busy criticizing how her arms looked in that dress. Joe knew that, she called him crying after the heated encounter that had just happened.

A knock on the door woke her up the next day, too lazy to get up and open she figured that if she avoided it it would go away, it did. After a whole week of what it felt, a gut wrenching feeling that would not leave her body.

What changed on Joe to make her feel this way, was she not pretty, was she not smart, was she not what he was looking for? She never told him how she felt, there was never a need for it, everyone around them knew that.

Joe can recall a moment he felt his stomach turned of happiness, it was an off-season sunday, both of them were back in Athens, Joe’s brother hosted a barbecue and Taylor was his unmentioned +1, he picked her up and as much as he tried to hide his excitement he just couldn’t, his sisters in-law always got along with her, or as much as the age gap let them, his nephews were cray for her, and she as crazy for them too, playing tag with them in the backyard while looking as is she was made of angel dust, after staring at her, a familiar voice got him out of that haze.

“You are not fooling anyone son” His father said “Fooling with what?” Joe looked at his dad and chuckled, “You are in love with her” Joe chuckled again “How many beers have you had dad?” His dad looked at him and laughed. Shortly after Joe went inside to change his shirt since the smoke was impregnating his clothes, after changing he stumbled up Taylor. “Hey, I was looking for you” she said “I gotta go but thank you so much for having me” she said half hugging Joe, he was confused “What? You’re leaving so early! We haven’t had dinner yet” “I know and I’m sorry, I promise I will make it up to you” Joe walked to the door to grab his keys, “No worries, I ordered an uber” she said putting her hands on his chest “It’s already here” she said opening the door and closing it so Joe couldn’t walk her to the car. He was confused, but he was also quick, she didn’t get in an Uber, she got into a car and was greeted by a guy he was very aware of, Mathew somehow knew a friend of a friend of a friend from Taylor, they met on a party one night, they were not dating, she thought he was cute but didn’t felt like the one she was looking for.

Joe held onto that memory for the longest time,he didn’t know who the guy in the car was, couldn’t see his face, he felt bad about her leaving him and his family to see some other guy. But he couldn’t complain, he had done that two or three times, maybe more, using football as an excuse to not go with her to the movies or shopping. Mat and Taylor stopped seeing each other afterwards, he was a quarterback for Michingan and was insanely gorgeous, also one of the best in the league, LSU and Michigan played against each other on the season, and that’s when Joe knew who he was, he told some of the defense guys to tackled him harder, later that night, after the win Taylor was wrapped around Joe’s arms, He won both matchups that day.

Tired from her pity party, she decided to go out that night, her girlfriends were more than happy to go and have a nice dinner as long as it meant to dress up cute. They laughed so hard that night and took a bunch of pictures, she posted one to her story and went to bed that night.

barzal97: You are drop dead gorgeous.

barzal97: I’m playing LSU next weekend, wanna come?

And she did, wearing Michigan gear, sitting with Mat’s friends and having a great time. There was no point in going to the game and being on the other side if Joe wasn’t willing to be nice to her, LSU won 21-17 that night. But she was more than happy to see Mat.

After the game, Joe went to see his family and girlfriend, realizing a short brown eyed was missing, “Hey Mom, did Taylor come?” he asked her very quietly “I don't know honey, she didn’t sit with us, maybe she was in the stands” Robin half smiled at Joe, he knew she wasn’t there after all he wouldn’t blame her. Later that night, Joe found out she was sitting on Michigan’s side after a text from one of his friends. He was so mad and so heartbroken at the same time.

joe b: Really? Wearing Barzal’s gear, that’s low even for you.

He regretted sending that text and as much as he tried to deleted it, Taylor already saw it,

taylor: What is your problem dude? You’ve been acting like a dick lately.

taylor: you were the one who told me to stop hanging out with your mom, now that I’ve done that, ur pissed off about it give me a break you big baby.

Stop hanging out with my mom doesn’t equate to wearing someone else’s jersey, Joe thought to himself.

joe b: Tell your little boyfriend that he will always lose you to me, I had you first.

joe b: I’m sorry tay i shouldn’t have said that.

The last message didn’t go through.

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #brrbrina #joe burrow fluff #joe burrow blurb #mat barzal #joe burrow angst #nfl

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brrbrina · 4 months

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brrbrina · 4 months

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uh his arms

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brrbrina · 4 months

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Chapter Seven

Warnings: Angsty. Fluffy.

Word Count: 4.4k

"So...he got mad that you were okay with the idea of a one night stand type of thing?" Jay your best friend asks over facetime. "I guess! I felt like shit but like...what does he really think would happen here? I haven't seen him or talked to him since we were in college, he's fresh out of a relationship and we live in different states?" You sigh. "I'm going to be honest here, I'm still stuck on you two having sex." Sammi says making you roll your eyes. "Sam...say something of substance or hush girl." Jay says making you snort. "You hush!" Sammi snaps back making you laugh. They always bickered like this. "You were currently in the tree house talking on the phone with your best friends trying to dissect the situation with Joe. "Its a sticky situation but I think he needs to think things over. I don't think you did anything wrong." Jay says. "I think he had some unresolved things he should have worked out with instead of having sex with you." Sammi responds. "It just sucks because I thought we could have fixed our friendship but it seems like hooking up with him blows up in our faces each time." You sigh. "Was he at least good?" Jay asks making you blush. "His stamina is insane and he's so attentive. It was nice, I don't think I regret it at all or maybe I've just been touched and sex deprived and it just felt better than it actually was." You answer truthfully. "How could you regret having sex with a hot rich athlete that could go for hours?" Sammi says making you laugh.

Suddenly there was a knock on the tree house door. "It's me." Junior says popping his head in through and entering with a large thermal mug in his hand. "I'll call you guys later, thanks for letting me vent." You tell you friends. "No problem girl!" Jay winks. "We'll talk to you later." Sammi smiles before you say bye and hang up. "Didn't mean to interrupt your conversation." Junior awkwardly chuckles. "You're okay, sorry I over took the tree house." You say as he sits down. "I'm only going to use it on Christmas eve, its all of ours to use even if we have to squeeze in here, but what are you doing out here in the freezing cold?" He asks as he sees you wrapped in a flannel blanket with a small space heater you stole from inside the house. "I just needed a break from everyone and clear my head." You shrug. "Everyone's a bit worried about you." Junior says pouring you some hot chocolate and handing it to you. "So they sent you out here to snoop?" you snort before taking a sip of the hot chocolate and grimacing at the sudden taste of alcohol hitting your throat. "Pops put in some peppermint schnapps, thought it would help with whatever you're going through and warm you up." Junior chuckles taking his own sip and cringing.

"But, what's up with you? Ever since you came back yesterday you've been quiet and not like your self. Now you're risking getting pneumonia out here." He shivers pulling over his own blanket over himself turning up the heater and moving it in between you two. "Promise you won't tell anyone?" You say to him. "Rules of the tree house, whatever is said in the tree house stays in the tree house." He pretends to zip his lips. "After the holiday dinner party with Joe...we went back to his house and that's when mom called me about the accidents that happened on the highways heading towards Athens, so we decided to stay at his house since it was still snowing and...eventually one thing lead to another and we hooked up." You awkwardly sip your hot chocolate. "I see...and do you regret it or did something happen that wasn't okay?" Junior asks getting into a big brother mode despite him being the same age as you. "No, nothing like that but Joe kind of flipped out on me cause I was okay with it being like a one night stand type of thing and...I guess he has some feelings about me and I ended up hurting him thinking this was a complete no strings attached type of thing." You sigh shaking your head in distress. "Well that's unfortunate, I know you guys were just starting to better your friendship again. Did you think he felt this way before you guys...you know?" He asks sipping his hot cocoa. "Not to me, maybe I wasn't paying attention to any signs and just thought there wasn't anything there other than... sexual." You admit.

"His ex also crashed the party and it was a whole shit show in front everyone." You snort. "Sounds like you had quite the night, but you have you tried talking to him?" Junior asks. "I texted him and he left me on read." You bite your lip. "Well, I think he's being a bit dramatic but...I saw him pull up to his parents house a little awhile ago. Why don't you go over there?" Junior asks. "I don't want to start anything at his parents, if he doesn't want to talk about it I'm not going to harass him over it, he basically wished me good rest of my trip. Don't think I'm going to leave here talking with him again." You shake your head. "If I'm being honest here, I think...this is more of a him problem. I think he could of communicated with you better and especially before having sex if he knew he was feeling a type of way towards you." Junior shrugs. "I just didn't want to hurt to him is all." You nod. "Hey kids! We're going to dinner, are you guys tagging along or not?" You hear your mom says from outside the tree house. "I think some comfort food would do you good, they want to go eat some Italian." Junior says getting up to leave the tree house. You turn off the space heater and climb down after him with the cup of hot chocolate still in your hands.

"I know you want to relive your childhoods a little bit while we're still here but to do it when it's 20 degrees outside is pretty crazy." Your mom shivers making you guys laugh. You go inside and change into some thermal jeans, boots and a thick sweater. Putting on a bit of make up and brushing through your hair, you quickly grab your phone and wallet you head downstairs to join the family for dinner. Leaving the house, helping your grandma to the truck to make sure she didn't slip and fall on any black ice, you spot Joe across the street getting some things out of his car. You two meet eyes but you quickly look away. You didn't want to spend anymore time thinking about him, if he wanted to act a certain way with you then you were going to let him. Getting your grandma in the car safely you walk around the car and get in the back with her on the other side. Junior was driving and pops was sitting shotgun. Your mom and Mark were riding in the other car.

Backing out of the driveway, Junior honks at Joe and everyone waves at him but you. You just look elsewhere as he drove off. Junior making eye contact with you via the mirror feeling the tension.

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Later That Night:

It was now almost midnight and you were sitting in your room watching Christmas movies on your ipad as you laid in bed drinking tea. You couldn't fall asleep so you made yourself some sleepy time tea and put on a movie to try to get you to go to sleep, which wasn't working. As you watch the movie, your phone vibrates next to you and you look over to it thinking it was Jay making sure you had his flight information for the 125th time today but your heart dropped when you saw that it was Joe. You grab your phone, quickly unlocking it and you open the message. Forgetting that you had read messages on so Joe could see how fast you pathetically opened his message.

Joe: Are you up? Wanted to talk...if that's okay with you

You read the message and bit your lip anxiously not knowing how to respond. You were still annoyed at him and how he acted but you would like to put this behind you even if meant not ever talking to Joe again.

You: What's up?

Joe: Come over? My parents are sleeping and with my dads sleep apnea machine they don't hear anything...

Reading the message you snort at him airing out his dads business out like that.

You: It's freezing outside and super late...can't you just call me?

Joe: No

Joe: I'll make you some hot chocolate and get you a heated blanket, promise! Just please come over, I really want to talk to you, I don't want to end things like this

Sighing you hop out of bed, setting your tea aside and turning off your iPad. You put on your ugg boots and grab your big coat. Grabbing your phone again, you shoot a quick text to Junior so he could cover for you in case someone hears you leave. Quietly you go down the creaky wooden stairs and out of the front door. You make your way over across the street shivering in the cold and immediately the front door swings open revealing Joe in sweat pants and a hoodie. Quickly you step inside the warm home that only had the Christmas tree luminating the house inside.

"Here, it's battery operated." Joe says handing you the heated up blanket he promised you. "Thanks." You give him a small smile as you take off your boots and then follow him to kitchen. "You don't need to make the hot chocolate, I'm just here to hear you out." You nod to Joe and he stops in his tracks. "Um, okay... then we can talk downstairs." Joe says as you now follow him to the basement AKA his old room. Stepping down quietly as you can you realize how much this house has not changed especially the basement. There was still sports stuff all over a his walls and all his childhood trophies everywhere. "Sorry for any mess, mom's been using this for storage again since I moved out a few years ago and I really stay here often." Joe says going around a box of Halloween decorations. You follow him and sit on the bed. He had the tv on to some sports highlights assuming that he was probably watching a basketball game that has just finished.

"So, I uh- Just wanted to apologize for the way I reacted the other day when I dropped you off. That was way out of line of me and I probably shouldn't have also ignored you when you texting me I just didn't want to add more fuel to fire." Joe says looking at me with a look of regret. "Can I ask where all that even came from? I mean we hadn't talked in years so that's why I assumed that was all nothing but a fun a night?" You ask and Joe takes a deep breath before he responds. "I guess seeing you just brought back old feelings I had about you and then the feeling you bring me of comfort plus you were so genuine about everything just made me fall for you all over again." Joe says clearly embarrassed to be telling me his honest feelings right now which you found pretty adorable despite not being on the best terms with all this. "Can I ask... and I'm not trying to dismiss your feelings at all here but do you think you might honestly be feeling like this because you might be a bit vulnerable with dealing with a break up?" You bite your lip and Joe shakes his head. "I can't say that's the reason, I really don't feel anything for Mallory. I think I stopped having any feelings or anything towards her way before the relationship even ended and I kept it my mind that it's normal that couples go though moments like that until I just snapped and broke up with her. At the very beginning it sort of sucked but I just felt this weight off my shoulders not having her around me, even my teammates noticed the major difference" He shrugs. "I see... well I can't lie and say that I don't feel any type of way towards you either but I also hadn't seen or talked to you in years so it might not be as strong for me as it is for you or it might be totally different. I didn't want to hurt you Joe, I just thought we would have a night of fun and then sort of go back to own different lives. Since you know my grandparents are selling the house and I live in a whole another state." You bite your lip nervous not knowing how Joe would take this. "No I completely understand that, I know how I reacted was wrong. I guess my emotions were just high and I was sad that our moment had ended. I guess I enjoyed waking up to you more than I thought I would." Joe admits giving you a small smile which melted your heart. "That's understandable, thank you for being honest with me by the way. I know stuff like this can be hard." You smile at him. "Of course. I just wish I stopped screwing this up so much." He scratches the back of his head.

"Well at least it didn't take you almost ten years to talk to me about this." You tease making him suck his teeth in annoyance which made you laugh. Joe can't help but to laugh along with you, you two looking at each other before clashing your lips together and Joe cupping your face as your lips move together. Pulling back your eyes gaze on his perfect face before Joe speaks up. "Stay." He whispers. "And risk getting caught by your parents again?" You lightly scoff making him smile. "Just stay here to sleep, we don't have to do anything but you already went out in the cold tonight. Stay here, please." He says and you give him a small nod. You were already in your pajamas anyway and really didn't feel like walking outside again.

You take your coat off and give it to Joe where he hangs it on a nearby hook on the wall. You make yourself comfortable on his bed and realize he still had the star wars sheets. "No way you guys still have this." You snort getting under the comforter, laying the heated blanket over it since you were still freezing. "It took my mom forever to find that when I was in high school, she said they're not going anywhere until it starts to disintegrate." Joe shakes his head getting in bed next to you. "Can't imagine how many other girls these sheets have seen." You tease lying back on the pillow. "None, Mallory never spent the night here and I stayed here for a few months before I bought my house and she refused." Joe shakes his head. "She truly missed out on the iconic sex sheets." You says making Joe giggle which made your heart flutter to hear. You cuddle up to him and he pulls you tight against him, giving you a kiss on the forehead that made you smile. "What times do your parents wake up?" You ask him while yawning. "My dad wakes up at like 5AM." Joe yawns as well and you suck your teeth. "It's midnight now!" You lightly slap his chest knowing you were about to get little sleep. Joe chuckles and reassures you that he will wake you up to sneak back out and soon enough sleep takes over the both of you.

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"Joe sweetie? Are you going to eat pancakes or just eggs." His mom's voice pulls you both out of your slumber at an alarming rate. You both look at each other startled knowing you both over slept. "Shit." Joe says looking at his phone which said 7:30AM. "What do we do?!" You whisper yell. "Uh, eggs only is fine mom!" He responds as you two get out of the bed. "And Y/N, how do you take your coffee?" You then hear robin say making you freeze in place feeling your face turn red from embarrassment. Joe eyes going big from the shock. "Cream and sugar is fine, thanks." You say back and you then hear the door shut from up the stairs.

"This is so mortifying! They're going to think we were doing stuff down here!" You slap Joe's arm for him not waking you up like he promised. "Hey! Cool it with the hitting." Joe rubs his arm and you roll your eyes knowingly he gets tackled by 300 pound men and your little slap did not hurt him one bit. You two make yourself look presentable, using Joes little bathroom that his parents had actually made him down here and using some of his mouthwash since there were no extra tooth brushes under the sink; you make your hair look as best as you can and follow him up stairs anxious for what's about to come.

Awkwardly walking into the kitchen, Robin had a large smile on her face. "Morning sleepy heads." She says as she hands you a mug of coffee. "Morning." You and Joe both say in unison. Joes dad was reading a paper with his glasses on and gives you both a look and then a smile. "You almost got away with it." He says making you and Joe both blush. "Oh stop teasing them. They're embarrassed enough." Robin says to her husband. "I was going to keep quiet, I noticed the shoes by the door when I went to get the paper but your mom went downstairs and saw you two in bed." Jimmy says switching over the page. "Look, we're sorry. Y/N came over to hang out last night after you guys went to bed and I thought it would be best if she stayed over and not go back out in the cold." Joe says giving half the truth but you nodded in agreement trying to back him up. "Oh please, you two are adults and we know nothing happened. We would have heard you down there through the vents like the first time she snuck in here a few years ago." Robin says which made your heart drop. "Wait, you guys knew about that?!" Joe asks in shock making his dad chuckle. "Why'd you think we bought you those large packs of condoms when we dropped you off at college?" His mom says making you snort and Joe gives you a look which made you shut up quick.

"Now, you two eat! Especially you, you have practice today." Robin says to Joe to which you didn't know he did. "Thanks, and I apologize for staying over like I did." You tell them both as you sit and enjoy your pancakes. "Oh we don't mind, we're just happy you and Joe are back to being...friends." Robin says a bit hesitant on the last part. "Yes mom, we're just friends." Joe mutters knowing she will say something out of pocket if he doesn't make things clear. You two finish your breakfast and you thank his parents again before you grab your boots at the front door and Joe helps you put on your coat. "Thanks." You smile up at him. "Thanks for stopping by and staying the night and... sorry for the embarrassing breakfast" he says still mortified by his parents. Which had went upstairs so it was just you two at the door. "I'll text you later, I gotta go home, change and go pick up Jay from the airport." You sigh. "Yeah I gotta go to practice this afternoon too, so I'll be heading out of here soon. I'll talk to you later." Joe says before giving you a surprise sweet kiss goodbye. His lips soft and tasting like syrup from the pancakes he ended up having.

Wishing him a good practice you make your way out into the cold and back home across the street. You could hear your family in the kitchen having breakfast. "Hey! Look who's back." You hear your pops says as he sees you from the kitchen. You take off your coat and awkwardly make your way to kitchen. "Morning sweetie, Junior told us that the Burrows asked you to come over for breakfast this morning?" Your mom says. "Yeah, Joe was there and he texted me this morning." You lie, Junior winking at you cause he totally covered for your ass right now. "That's so nice that you two are back to normal, you had us worried there because you came back a little different that day after the holiday dinner. Thought something happened again." Your nana says. "Oh yeah, that was just some work stuff I was stressed about but things are better now. I'm going to go shower and get ready to pick up Jay before I'm late and he never lets me hear the end of it." You smile at everyone. You get a bunch of okays and you head upstairs to do just that. You check your phone and see that Jay had boarded his flight about two hours ago. You text him back saying sorry for not responding that you were with Joe last night and that you were about to be on your way to go get him and Jay texts back immediately that he wants details on the ride back to the house.

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Few Hours Later:

Driving in the busy airport terminal you spot Jay standing out in the cold with his two huge luggage's. Pulling up to him you quickly get out and hug your best friend who you've missed so much these past couple weeks. Between work and then you coming out here, it had been a awhile since you've seen him. "Finally you're here!!" You laugh. "And finally you're here! I'm freezing my ass off over here." Jay says making you laugh. Junior greets him as well with a hug and helps put his luggage in the back before hoping in the car. "I thought you would have been waiting inside." Junior says getting in the back and leaving the passenger seat to Jay. "I was but everyone who had kids was inside to obviously not have them out in the cold and it was just a bunch of tired kids crying or some were running around and I had enough of that on the plane." Jay shakes his head making you chuckle. "I'm so happy you're finally here, Junior has been keeping me at bay with the family but now all the attention is going to be on you." You chuckle as you drive on the heavily populated road. "Rightfully so, I'm the favorite after all." Jay teases making you and Junior laugh. "But what's been up with you guys? Especially you Junior since I kind of know what Y/N's been up too." Jay says smirking at you making you roll your eyes. "Just being nervous about my proposal to Andy on Christmas Eve." Junior sighs. "Shut up! No way!! Aw, congratulations." Jay turns to Junior. "Thanks, he'll be here this weekend and only Mark and Pops know about the engagement." Junior nods. "Oh I get that, Ma and Nana cannot keep a secret." Jay snorts.

"But Y/N over here..." Jay looks over to you. "Don't." You shake your head knowing he was going to say something wild. "So when is the wedding?" He asks making Junior laugh. "Shut up." You mutter feeling the heat rise up to your cheeks. "I cannot wait to see this man in person, you're living a fantasy right now." Jay says. "Oh please, are you hungry? We can stop and get lunch." You say trying to change the subject. "Yeah I'm down to grab a bite anywhere but don't change the subject. What's going on with you and Mr. Football?" Jay asks and you give him a quick look as you take an exit to the nearest restaurant food chain. "I talked to him last night and things are okay I guess. He's back to his football life so I doubt I'll even see him again before the holidays are over." You shrug. "Did you talk or did you..talk." Jay says making the motion as if he was giving head which made Junior snort in the backseat. "I will leave you stranded in the middle of no where in this cold." You threaten him making Jay laugh. "Well you did sleep over last night." Junior pipes in from the back making you scoff. "Why does it feel like I'm being attacked right now?" You shake your head making them chuckle. "But what's going on with you guys? Give me details!" Jay says as you pull up to a Longhorn steak house. "We talked last night about how he acted, he apologized and admitted he feelings towards me but he understands that there's probably nothing in future together." You shrug parking the car. "What do you mean probably?" Junior asks and you sigh. "Can we just enjoy lunch first we still have quite the way to go to Pops and Nana's." You roll your eyes. "Hm...fine but this conversation is not over." Jay hums.

As you three exit the car and walk into the restaurant, you get a text from your sister Ashlie. "Flying in tomorrow night with Chris, can you or Junior pick us up?" The text read. This was just like her to expect people to drop anything and be at her beck and call. Stuffing your phone back in your pocket, you decided to ignore her for now and just enjoy your meal.

A/N: So things are back...on with Joe? Hope you all enjoyed this chapter and thank you all for reading!

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