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Untitled Fic 1/1, Steve/Tony, 3580 words

Happy bday @brandnewfashion!

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“Oh my god,” Tony said. He turned abruptly so he was facing Steve, turning his back to most of the rest of the room, and took a deep drink from his cup like he needed the fortification.

It was Diet Coke, so Steve doubted it was going to do the job Tony was hoping for.

“What is it?” Steve scanned the room - they were at a wedding reception for some old associate of Tony’s. Tony had described her as a college friend, but college had been fifteen years go and she still invited Tony to her wedding, so Steve figured they kept in touch. The party was low-key for a friend of Tony’s, just a nice banquet hall in a fancy hotel, with decent catering and a live band. No ice sculptures or living furniture or gilded cages full of white tiger cubs like he’d seen at some of the weddings he’d gone to with Tony since they started dating. Instead the hall was decorated with strands of fairy lights and greenery to make it look a little like an enchanted forest. The centerpieces were wildflowers with little - fake, Steve felt he had to specify based on some other wealthy weddings he'd been to - songbirds perched among them. It was pretty and tasteful, and was doing some good to convince Steve that being a millionaire didn’t require having awful taste.

Tony made a face and took another sip of his drink. “Old friend,” he said, but reluctantly, and he kind of chewed on the word “friend” for a minute like it wasn’t his first choice. “Steve, I’m afraid you’re going to realize that I had terrible taste and worse judgment when I was in college.”

That… absolutely did not come as a shock, but Steve just grinned at him and let him keep the illusion that he’d had his act together a little better when they’d met. “To be honest, you’d always given me the impression that Jim was your only friend when you were in college, so I’m kind of enjoying meeting all these people who knew you back then.”

Tony pulled a face so disgusted that Steve couldn’t hold back a short laugh. “Steve. Babe. No. Aside from Kayla, I barely even remember these people.”

“Sure you don’t,” Steve said. He took a half step closer to Tony so he could lean down and murmur in his ear. “But I bet every one of them remembers you.”

Tony tipped his head to the side and gave Steve a smile that was all teeth and mischief. “Steve, I was a walking scandal until about ten minutes ago, of course they do.”

It had been longer than that since Tony was tabloid fodder on a daily basis, but Steve conceded the point anyway. “So who is this particular example of bad taste you’re hiding from?”

Tony sighed. “Tiberius Stone. Steve, whatever he says, please don’t hold it against me.”

“Hey. You know I won’t.” Steve caught Tony’s free hand in his and squeezed. “Besides, you were a kid back then.”

“I was an asshole back then,” Tony said ruefully, “and stupid enough to think I was charming.”

“Oh,” Steve said, “so this was last week.”

Tony shot him a narrow-eyed glare, but it was belied by the way the corner of his mouth ticked up. “Speaking of assholes.”

“Everyone knows that about me,” Steve told him.

Tony snorted. “Anyway, there was a group of us - Rhodey used to call us the Snob Squad.”

“God, I love Jim,” Steve said.

“He was 85% of my common sense and at least 90% of my impulse control,” Tony agreed. “Anyway, it was me, Kayla - the bride,” he clarified, as if Steve was going to forget who’s wedding he was at, “who wasn’t much of a snob, to be honest, she was kind of like. The poor friend?”

“Kayla the Krispy Kreme heiress is the poor friend?”

“They only own part of Krispy Kreme,” Tony said. “It was more comparatively. Anyway, there were three other friends, only one of whom matters for this story. His name is Tiberius Stone.”

The name rang a bell and Steve flipped through a hundred past conversations about college and Tony’s past while he took a long sip of his drink. “Tiberius Stone the guy who once framed you for cheating on an exam when he was the one cheating off you?”

“Yes, him, and that happened before the story I’m about to tell you, so you’ll see in a minute why I said I was stupid.” Tony exhaled heavily. “So we all had a place off campus together.”

“An apartment?”

“Yeah, a penthouse not too far from the university. Mom convinced Dad to pay for it because she thought it would be safer than the dorms - less drinking, less sex, you know?”

“Bunch of rich teenagers in their own place with no RAs was going to be less disruptive than the dorms,” Steve said skeptically.

“In her defense, Mom never went to college and was not a troublemaker before she met dad. Anyway, yeah, it was probably as bad as you’re imagining. Just 24/7 party pad. And Tiberius was one of the semi-permanent fixtures. He and Kayla and the other two were basically my roommates at that point. Ty mostly used it to impress dates, and get laid.” Tony shrugged. “Uh. he was kind of gross, to be honest. He’d bring his dates back, show them the fancy digs, parade them around in front of us and then go have very loud, performative sex with his bedroom door open.”

“Sounds charming,” Steve said.

“Oh, it gets better,” Tony said. “Cause after about ten minutes of rhythmic grunting he’d come back out naked, dick still wet, and grab a beer or something, then tell us he had to get back before his date “cooled off”.”

“That’s…” Steve considered his word choices carefully.

“Gross,” Tony said, “yeah, trust me, I know. So anyway, I slept with him.”

“Tony,” Steve said. He couldn’t quite keep the dismay out of his voice, and if part of it was regret for the young, emotionally delicate boy he knew Tony had been back then, part of it was also just dismay at his boyfriend’s terrible taste in men.

“I know, I know, I heard it all from Rhodey.” Tony waved him off, but his eyes were glinting a little. It was a bad memory but one Tony apparently was able to find some humor in. “Steve, he was awful.”

“Well if it only took ten minutes every time-”

“Just-” Tony gestured, a little crudely. “Straight in, no foreplay, barely any prep, and then just him grunting like a pig digging for truffles while pounding away with no finesse and less self-control, and he’s drunk so it takes about two mintues for him to come, right? So I’m just lying there in the bed, barely hard because that was the unsexiest thing I’d ever seen, and he’s passed out on top of me snoring and drooling.”

“Tony,” Steve said, but he was laughing a little too at the image Tony was painting. “Please tell me he didn’t hurt you.”

“Only my illusions,” Tony said. “Anyway, Kayla came home and rolled him off me and we left him on the floor where as near as I can tell he stayed until the next morning. She made me promise never to have sex with him again and I made her promise not to tell Rhodey and that was basically the foundation upon which our casual friendship has been built. Anyway, Tiberius is heading straight for me, isn’t he?”

Steve pulled his eyes away from Tony’s face long enough to scan the crowd. “Blond, kind of smug, a little too pretty to be handsome?”

“That’s him.” “Like a heat-seeking missile.” Steve wound an arm around Tony’s waist and pressed a kiss to his temple. “How mad am I at this guy?”

Tony snorted. “It’s been almost twenty years, I’d say we’re mostly just dismayed at his continued uncouthness.”

Steve let his mouth curve into a smile before he pulled back. “He’s permanently vetoed for a threesome, in case you were wondering.”

“Please, I have acquired some self respect. Besides, I’d never let him touch you.” Tony briefly let his head rest on Steve’s shoulder, but straightened up as Tiberius approached.

Tiberius Stone was about six feet tall, with golden blond hair carefully arranged to look windswept and tousled. He was good-looking, broad-shouldered and well built, with a tapered waist and strong legs that his pants were clearly tailored to show off. Steve thought he could see the appeal, except for the look in his eyes. Tiberius Stone looked at everyone he passed with a thoughtful sort of evaluation, as if he was calculating how much he could sell them for.

Then he turned that gaze on Tony and Steve ground his teeth together.

“Anthony.” Tiberius swept up to Tony and slid an arm around his back, pulling him into a hug. “You look so much better than the last time I saw you. I’m glad you’ve gotten over all that horrible drama.”

Tony’s smile thinned, and he pressed a little closer to Steve’s side. “Oh, yes, Rumiko and all that unpleasantness. Honestly, I’d all but forgotten.” His tone was dry enough to be sandpaper but Tiberius didn’t even blink.

“Who can blame you, with this arm candy?” Tiberius turned his smile on Steve - gleaming white teeth peeking between lips so pink that Steve thought he was probably wearing lipgloss or something. “You must be Steve. I have heard so much about you.”

“Yeah, the rumor mill does get around.” Steve smiled but didn’t offer him a handshake - he tightened his grip around Tony’s waist instead. Rumiko, Steve remembered, had been Tony’s fiance at one point. He wasn’t sure what that unpleasantness entailed but it left a sour taste in his mouth.

“She wasn’t even that good,” Tiberius said, nudging Tony in the ribs. “We’ve both had better, hm?”

Steve kept his smile firmly in place and resisted the urge to physically move Tony away from this guy. “I’m not sure I know what you mean?” he said, giving Tiberius the wide-eyed Captain America look that the newspapers loved.

Tony huffed a little laugh and drank the rest of his Diet Coke. “So how’d you like the wedding, Ty?”

“Tacky,” Tiberius said instantly. “It’s all a little low-brow, but what do you expect from Kayla? She was always a little bit lower-class, wasn’t she?”

“Heiresses aren’t generally considered low-class,” Tony said. “Anyway, Ty, it’s been really nice seeing you again-”

“It’s good to see you again too,” Tiberius purred in a way that made Steve’s hand want to clench into a fist. “It’s good to see everyone again. This has been like a walk down memory lane, hasn’t it.” Tiberius gestured toward the rest of the room with his champagne flute. “Bringing back quite a few nice memories, isn’t it?” He grinned. “I should revisit a few of the better ones before the night is over. I wonder how many I can fit in before last call.”

“Ew,” Tony said under his breath. “It was a long time ago, Ty, I bet some of those memories have faded.”

Ty laughed. “You don’t have to play coy, Tony, I’m sure Captain America understands you have a past. He can read, after all. But don’t worry, I’m not going to make your man self-conscious.”

“Should I be insulted?” Steve asked Tony. He wasn’t particularly, but he was annoyed at the way this guy was talking to Tony.

Tony snorted. “He’s trying.”

“I bet the Captain is very gifted in that department,” Ty said. “Maybe we can compare notes, one day, you and I.” He gave Steve a sly grin.

Steve wasn’t sure if he was being propositioned or if Ty was implying something about Tony, but either way he didn’t care for the implication. “I’m not the type to kiss and tell,” he said flatly. “Tony, didn’t you want to go see Kayla before we left?”

“Oh, I’ll go with you,” Tiberius said. “I haven’t had a chance to give the groom my sympathies yet.”

“Sympathies?” Tony asked, in a tone of voice that said he fully expected to regret asking.

“That he’s marrying her after I’ve had her,” Tiberius said. “Poor man’s marrying a girl who’s already had the best she’s ever going to have and now she’s settling for the rest of her life.” His eyes caught Steve’s and the toothy grin was distinctly mocking now. “I bet that’s hard on a man’s ego.”

Steve exhaled slowly and counted to ten in his head.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Tony said in a loud voice. He stepped away from Steve’s side and Steve let him go, even though the instinct to drag Tony back away from this creep was powerful. “The best I’ve ever had? Are you - Ty, you were were definitely in a top ten of sexual experiences, but it wasn’t the best.”

A blonde woman standing a few feet away snorted into her drink, and Steve heard a delighted cackle from behind him.

Tiberius’s eyebrows drew together in clear confusion, lowering Steve’s already tripwire-low opinion of the man. This was clearly news to him, although it probably shouldn’t have been.

“You flopped around on top of me like a dying fish,” Tony said. “The whole thing took less time than it takes to sing Happy Birthday. You didn’t even get me off before you passed out. And I know-” he raised his voice when Tiberius opened his mouth to say something, “that you didn’t treat anyone else any better, so whatever memories our former classmates may have of you, I don’t think they’re going to be driving anyone into a sexual frenzy tonight.”

Tiberius’s eyes went hard and flat, and there was such a flare of anger that for a second Steve thought Tiberius was going to attack Tony. But instead his smile, which had been steadily fading during Tony’s rant, turned sharp. “If you wanted first ride all you had to do was say so, Anthony. God knows you were always gagging for it when we were in school.” He shot Steve a smirk while Tony sputtered. “He was such a little slut back then - well, I don’t suppose much has changed.”

Tony slapped a hand against Steve’s chest, which is how Steve knew he’d taken a step toward Tiberius. Steve held himself still and settled for watching Tiberius the way he watched any other threat. He was fine letting Tony handle this, he was, God knew Tony could handle himself just fine. But it burned in his chest, listening to someone try to hurt Tony and not immediately stepping in to protect him.

“Such a slut I only ever fucked you once,” Tony snapped back. “All those hot dates you used to parade around the apartment and not one of them ever came back for a second date.”

“Someone’s feeling feisty tonight,” Tiberius snapped. “Clearly the Captain hasn’t figured out how to keep you in line. I’d be more than happy to show him how to put a little bitch like you back in his place.”

“Fuck it,” Steve said, and decked him.

He checked the punch because he’s not actually trying to break anyone’s neck, but that doesn’t stop Tiberius from going down like a sack of wet sand. The same blonde woman who had laughed at Tony’s comeback earlier gives Steve a quick burst of applause. “God, he deserved that,” she said, and tossed back half a glass of wine.

People were looking, though a not-insignificant number of them looked either unsurprised or straight-up pleased. Steve was guessing those were former classmates who had spent more than ten seconds in Tiberius’s presence.

Tony arched an eyebrow at him.

“Sorry?” Steve crossed his arms over his chest. “I should have let you handle that. But I didn’t like the way he was talking to you.”

“My boyfriend is such a caveman,” Tony said, but he was smiling so Steve figured he wasn’t in the doghouse.

Just as Steve was debating if he should pick Tiberius up and help him to a chair or something, there was an increase in murmuring around them and the crowd parted to reveal the bride.

Tony’s college friend Kayla-the-Krispy-Kreme heiress stared at them from the edge of the crowd. Her hair was a mass of golden curls spilling down her back and her dress was glittering with swarovski crystals. She looked like a princess, complete with a golden tiara. She glanced down at Tiberius, who was groaning loudly and clutching his jaw, then up at him and Tony with wide eyes.

Guilt settled into his stomach like lead. This was her wedding, she was Tony’s old friend- shit if he’d ruined things between them, or destroyed her day he’d never forgive himself. He took a half step forward, trying to figure out the best way to apologize for something he didn’t actually regret doing.

Kayla hiked up the long flowing skirt of her gown, revealing delicate golden heels. She stepped over Tiberius like he was nothing but a mud puddle, then dropped her skirts and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “You must be Captain Rogers. Tony’s told me nothing about you because he doesn’t reply to my emails.”

Tony narrowed his eyes at her. “They’re not emails, Steve, she’s a liar, she only uses Facebook Messenger and I refuse to contribute to that.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Steve said, offering her his hand. “Tony has probably told me more about you than you’d like him to.”

Kayla laughed. “That sounds about right. Look, I have to get back, the photographer is a fucking Nazi - not literally,” she assured Steve, “sorry, that’s probably insensitive now that the Nazis are back, huh? Anyway, I just wanted to come over and thank you guys for the lovely wedding gift.”

Steve has a brief moment of confusion because 1) he knows she hasn’t opened any gifts yet and 2) he knows Tony got her some little glass tchotchke thing that probably didn’t warrant interrupting her reception to thank him for.

Kayla shimmied her hips a little, making her skirt swirl around her legs, the crystals catching the light. “It’s exactly what I wanted, thank you!” She turned and peered over her shoulder at Tiberius who was slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position. “I’ve been dreaming of it since college,” she said, shooting Tony a wink. Steve felt some of the tension he hadn’t realized was there go out of his shoulders. At least he hadn’t upset Tony’s friend.

Tony snorted. “It was Steve’s idea, you know I’m shit at gifts.”

“I do,” Kayla said. “You’ve been sending me Edible Arrangements every year for ten years and you never remember I’m allergic to honeydew.”

“What I’m hearing is that I should start sending you chocolate.”

“I will accept that,” Kayla said. “But if you wanted to just punch Ty again I’d take that, too.”

From somewhere near her ankles Tiberius made a garbled noise of objection.

“I hope you broke his nose,” Kayla said.

A man in a tux pushed through the crowd, took in the scene with a complete lack of reaction. “Oh, hey, Tiberius. About time. Babe, the photographer and your mom are about to get in a fist fight.”

“Gotta go!” Kayla swooped in to plant a kiss on Tony’s cheek, then grabbed Steve’s hand in both of hers. “Thanks again,” she said. “I love it. Come see me after dinner and we can share a dance!” She hiked up her skirt again and skipped over Tiberius, smacking him in the face with what looked like thirty pounds worth of wedding gown.

“Bye, Kayla!” Tony waved after her. He turned to Steve. “We can leave now, right?”

Steve snorted. “She paid for two steak dinners, Tony, it seems rude to leave before they even start serving.”

“I’m going to sue you!”

Steve made a show of blinking and staring down at Tiberius. “Oh, are you still here?”

Tony laughed.

“That was assault.” The words came out slightly slurred. Steve was 99% certain he hadn’t hit Tiberius that hard, but maybe the guy had a glass jaw.

“So sue me,” Tony said cheerfully. “Better yet, sue him. You want that in court? You wanna tell the world why Captain America laid you out cold?” Tony’s smile went thin, and his voice lowered to little more than a whisper. “I was sixteen at MIT, Ty. You want that getting out?”

Steve cracked his knuckles. “I hadn’t thought about that,” he said in a low voice, and was grimly pleased at the way Tiberius’s eyes went wide.

Tony slid an arm around Steve’s waist. “Compromise?” he said, ignoring Tiberius who was staggering to his feet and away from them. “You and I go up to our room for a bit and see if we can’t get a new entry in the other list of Top Ten Sexual Experiences.”

Steve laughed and leaned down to press a kiss to the shell of Tony’s ear. “I,” he said softly, checking to make sure no one nearby seemed to be listening, “am going to make you forget Tiberius and that other list ever existed. And then,” he added, taking Tony’s wrist and tugging him toward the exit, “I’m going to come back for my dance with Kayla. I bet she’s got some great blackmail material.”

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